. . . . .
Jacob's text asked if I wanted to come over and hang out. I snapped my phone shut.
"Who was that?" Edward asked, looking over his trig book.
"Oh, no one. It's nothing." I couldn't handle this right now.
I stared at my open book, not making sense of any of it. Seriously, what was this crap? Why was I even taking this class? I could have had a study hall instead, but Edward talked me into taking trigonometry with him, saying it would look better on my college applications. As if that even mattered. I wasn't even really planning to go to college. Not the way things were set up now, at least.
The phone buzzed again and I ignored it.
"I can't do this." I slammed my book closed and tipped over on the floor. I curled up in the fetal position and just lay there.
"Bella?" Edward crawled over to me. "What's going on?"
"Trig is killing me. I wish I hadn't taken it." I mumbled, my face smashed to my knees.
"Let's get out of here for a while. Homework will still be here later." Edward picked me up and set me on my feet. "Maybe let's just go for a drive."
I nodded and sat up slowly.
"Let me put on a sweater, it's chilly out there." I dug around in my closet, threw on a green sweater that looked clean and struggled to lace up my sneakers. I didn't care what we did, I just couldn't sit in that room anymore. The math, the tension was making me crazy.
Things had been better with Edward lately, and my friendship with Jake was just that now—a friendship. But I hadn't expected my decision to be something I had to purposely choose every minute of every day. I'd expected it to be easier, more natural. Not like a constant battle I was fighting with my head and my heart.
We reached the door and Edward paused, his nostrils flared. He looked sharply at me.
"What?" I was confused by his sudden change of mood.
Just then, I heard Jacob's Rabbit pull into the drive way. Edward was a statue.
"I didn't invite him," I insisted. "I had no idea he was coming over."
Edward softened, but his eyes were still tight. "That's fine, Bella. You can have friends."
He opened the door and let me step through first. Jacob met me on the top step, and he picked me up into a bear hug before I could resist. My heart raced and I was too happy to see him. I was afraid Edward would sense my change in mood, hear my heart practically pounding out of my chest.
"I knew you'd want a study break—" Then he saw Edward in the doorway and put me down.
"Oh. Sorry, Bella." His voice turned bitter. "Edward."
They were frozen there, staring at each other.
"What are you two doing?" I looked anxiously between them. I was never sure whether they were going to be friends or erupt into an argument. That was all I needed. Either option. Right now, I could barely handle things the way they were, and I knew any change in the status quo would throw me even further off kilter.
"Nothing, Bella. Everything is fine." Edward reassured me, but his smile was off. Sad. "I've had a monopoly on your time today. Maybe I'll head on home and let you and Jacob do something this afternoon."
Then he nodded a single nod at Jacob and started down the steps.
I was paralyzed. I watched him walk down the driveway and onto the street until he disappeared from my view. Jacob stared after him, too.
"Weird." He looked at me cockeyed.
"Um, yeah. But you should have called or something." I poked at his chest, accusing.
"I'm sorry. I tried—I texted you, but I didn't hear back, so I just thought I'd come and see what you were up to. I would have kept driving if his car had been in the driveway. I didn't know he was here…"
Jacob's half-apology hung awkwardly in the air. I knew he wasn't sorry at all. He'd gotten what he wanted.
And Edward had given up without a fight; just walked away. I didn't know what that meant. So many times I'd asked him to go, or begged to let Jacob stay. But this time I didn't have to say anything. It was like he knew what I wanted and was too tired to fight about it.
I didn't know how that made me feel. In a way, I'd gotten what I wanted. In another, I felt like my heart was breaking apart, one tiny crack at a time.
. . . . .
The metallic taste of blood filled my mouth. I ran my tongue tentatively over my teeth and gums but couldn't find the source.
Then I realized that I couldn't feel my heartbeat. I took a deep breath to prove to myself that I was still alive. My chest popped and creaked, but nothing seemed to break. I let the breath whistle out.
I sensed Edward's presence in the darkness, and I reached out my left hand and found him. His arm felt warm, the same temperature as my skin. He laced his fingers through mine and squeezed. I reveled in the sensation, glad that it wasn't the icy cold I expected.
I already felt cold all over. Outside. Inside.
I struggled for another breath because I felt like I should.
A terrible roar came from our left and Edward yanked me from my prone position. Then we were running, flying, tearing through the forest. I looked behind me and in the moonlight I saw a huge wolf flashing through the trees.
A huge russet wolf.
I screamed for Edward to stop. "It's just Jacob—he won't hurt me! He won't hurt us."
But Edward kept moving forward, faster and faster, dodging trees and clearing ravines in single leaps. I clung to him, afraid to fall but not afraid of the monster following us.
Because I loved it and it loved me.
The Jacob-wolf gained on us. I begged Edward to just stop, turn, face him. He didn't listen.
And then the wolf was upon us. I reached out for it, smiling. My Jacob. My friend.
My smile turned to screams as it bit down hard and pulled away, shattering my right arm like marble.
. . . . .