Chapter 12
The next morning, I was sitting with Blanche, playing cards, when there was a knock on the door and my herald announced "Lady Mary Tudor, Countess of Salisbury and Buckingham."
I rose to greet our half-sister as she entered. "Mary. What brings you here this morning?"
"Sister. Your Grace." For the first time I could remember, Mary smiled as she curtsied to me.
"I'm here because, well, after last night, I've realised that we Tudors need to work together. The Duke of Richmond; he's not going to take Father's new Act of Succession lying down. When Father dies, you can be sure that Edward will make a play for the throne. I want to stand with you and make sure he doesn't get it."
Sinking back into my chair, I gestured Mary to a seat to buy myself time as I thought over her words. She was right, insofar as our half-brother went. He wouldn't be happy about the new Line of Succession. I had no doubt that he'd thrown numerous tantrums in the brief time since it had become public knowledge; feeling as though he'd been cheated out of his birth right as the King's only son.
However, just because some Mary's words were true didn't mean I could trust her. We might be half-sisters, but she was fourth in line for the throne herself and there'd been bad blood between us practically since I was born. Who knew what her true motives were for this sudden olive branch?
"Forgive me, Lady Salisbury, but though your words ring true, I cannot help but question them, for they sing such a different tune to the ones you used to use, both to me and to my mother."
"Elizabeth! Bessie…" Hurt sparked in Mary's eyes as I treated her so formally and my childhood name, the name my full sister still called me, fell from her lips before my icy gaze stopped her in her tracks.
Regaining control of herself, she started again on a different tack.
"Sister, listen. I signed the Oath and declared myself a bastard three years ago. I served you in your household for almost five times that. I've never harmed a hair on either of your heads. I've never even thought about it. And I didn't lay a hand on the twins either. What more do I have to do to prove my loyalty to you?"
"Showing us some respect when you're not forced to do so would be nice." I retorted acidly. Blanche made as if to reach for my arm and I drew a shaky breath, willing myself to stay calm, even if it was only for her sake. She hated it when I fought with anyone.
Mary's eyes, too, flashed briefly, before she also took a breath and continued "Look at the situation through my eyes, Elizabeth. What could I gain from pushing myself ahead of you? Even my own cousin, the Emperor, clearly now accepts you as Father's heiress in my stead, since he proposed betrothing you to his son Phillip. I am alone in the world. There is no point in fighting for my old place any longer. No point in us fighting any longer. Besides, do you really think I relish the idea of being outranked by an insufferable…insufferable…" Mary struggled to find the words to describe our half-brother.
"Bastard of a Seymour brat?" I suggested wryly, hoping to relieve the tension a little.
"Yes! That." Mary chuckled despite herself and, for the briefest of moments, we laughed together as though we were truly sisters.
Then Mary got up, checked herself, and actually asked "With Your Highnesses' permission?"
I glanced at Blanche, then nodded, pleased to see her observing protocol for once.
"You may go, Lady Salisbury."
She left and I picked up my cards once more.
"Three Kings, Blanche!" I laid some down, daring my little sister to challenge me.
"You're bluffing, Bessie! I've got the other Kings!" Blanche boasted gleefully, before realising her mistake and clapping a hand over her mouth.
Laughing, I nodded and turned my cards over to reveal two Kings and a Jack. Pushing a wooden counter, which we were using instead of real coins, towards my sister, I held out my hand for her remaining cards in order to shuffle again.
"Try not to tell me this time!" I teased as I dealt.
With that, we were off.
"Would you trust her, Anne? If you were in my shoes, would you trust her?" I pulled my needle through the sash I was embroidering for my sister as I glanced up at my stepmother.
I was spending the afternoon with her and as Mary was praying in the chapel, as she so often was, I had seized the opportunity to ask Anne's advice.
"I'd have no reason not to, Elizabeth. After all, she's certainly right about your brother." Anne admitted.
"I know, but…it's just such a sudden change of heart. After all these years…"I trailed off, concentrating instead on the finer details of my work.
"Maybe she's just shaken by your father's recent illness." Anne suggested. "Either way, your caution is commendable, Elizabeth, but I believe that Mary is genuine in her offer. Trust her. After all, she's serving well enough as my companion, isn't she?"
"She always liked you, though." I retorted, though my heart was truly lightened by Anne's assurances and eventually, I sighed.
"Very well. I'll trust her for now. After all, I suppose I can always banish her to a nunnery if it doesn't work out and she betrays me."
"Elizabeth!"
"What? Wouldn't that be well within my rights as Queen?"
"She's your sister!"
"So? Blanche is my sister too, but I often wish I could banish her when she's annoying me!"
"Oh, for heaven's sake, Elizabeth! Be serious!"
"I am being serious!"
At my vehement protestations, Anne collapsed into peals of laughter.
"I won't tell Blanche that!"
"Why not? I do!"
"Oh! Go on, you'd better go. You've got a dancing lesson to get to!"
"Yes, Cousin." Rising with a quick half-curtsy, I left Anne still wiping her eyes and hurried to meet my dancing master in the gallery.
Anne's assurances that she would trust Mary giving me confidence, I sought my elder half-sister out after Mass one morning.
"Mary? Lady Salisbury? A word, if you please?"
"Of course, Your Highness." Mary stepped aside at my voice to turn and follow me into the privacy of an alcove.
"I've been thinking about what you said and I agree. We ought to work together."
"Good. I'm glad." Mary's tentative smile widened as I reached up and unclasped one of the necklaces I was wearing, pressing it into her hand.
"I'd like you to take this as a token of our friendship and agreement."
"Of course." Mary slipped the necklace around her neck, then looped the rosary she usually wore at her belt around mine.
"As you give me your friendship and your sister's, so I give both of you mine, Princess." she murmured, using my title in private for the first time.
I gave her my hand and she squeezed it for the shortest instant and then the two of us left the alcove together, both of us our father's trueborn daughters.
A few months later, news came from Buckinghamshire that Lady Mary Stafford had been delivered of another healthy daughter, this one named Anne after her younger sister. As promised, she asked Blanche to be the godmother, so Blanche travelled to see her and hold her new goddaughter at the baptismal font.
Ordinarily, I would have gone with Blanche, but what with Anne quite keen to see to it that Blanche and I learnt to manage without each other, I let her travel alone.
I didn't mind much, but not being able to see Mary's new wards, the twins, was painful. I sent gifts for them with Blanche, and a letter that told them that I loved them and was thinking of them and that I hoped they were happy with Lady Stafford.
And when Blanche came home, for once, it was me jumping up to greet her, and not the other way around.
"How are they? Nora, Jess, Mary, little Annie, all of them? How are they?"
"Let me sit down, Bessie!" Blanche teased, flinging her travelling cloak off as she spoke. I flushed.
"Sorry. I've just missed you. And the others. I just want to know they're all right. But Essex seems to have agreed with you, Blanche. You look happy; happier than you were when you left." I hugged my little sister to me, before letting her sit down and pouring her a glass of apple juice myself. "Here."
"Thanks. They're all well. Little Annie's really sweet. She's a true Rose. She looks just like Lady Stafford."
"Maybe they should have named her after you, then. You're the other blonde in the family." I teased, and Blanche shook her head.
"I couldn't have asked that, Bessie. I'm so thrilled they chose me to be Godmother!"
"I know you are." I smiled at my little sister, before continuing, "How are the twins?"
"Jess and Nora are so happy, Bessie, really. They love Lady Stafford as if she was their own mother and they already call Katy their sister."
"Oh…" I drew in my breath, trying not to show how Blanche's words hurt. Even though I was thrilled to hear that Jess and Nora were happy, it hurt to think of them loving Lady Stafford as though she was their mother. I couldn't blame them; they'd never really known Mama, after all, but she was still their mother, just as much as she was mine. I couldn't help but feel that they were betraying her memory; just a little.
Shaking my head to clear it of such thoughts – it wasn't their fault and I couldn't blame them for it, I sat back and let my little sister tell me all about the Christening, the words washing over me as she went into storytelling mode.
"Oh, Bessie, Lady Stafford wanted me to give you this." Blanche suddenly broke off her story to hand me a folded piece of parchment. Taking it from her, I rose and went to the window to read it.
"Your Highness,
Forgive the formality of the address, but I didn't know how else to start this letter, for it is a difficult letter for me to write. I'm writing to ask that neither you nor the Princess Blanche come to visit the twins any more here in Essex. I know that you only mean well by visiting; that you want to show that you care for them because they are your sisters, but honestly, it only unsettles them. They were both extremely upset last night because Blanche was due to leave early this morning. They didn't want her to leave and she didn't want to leave them either.
I'm not saying you can't write or send them gifts, but please, personal visits will be too hard on all of us here and on you both. Besides, wasn't the entire reason for sending them to live with me so that your father wouldn't find out how much you and Blanche love your little sisters? Visits to them would be too hard to conceal, Princess.
I'm begging you, for the sake of the girls' happiness and security, as well for your relationship with your father, stay away. When you are Queen, things will be different, but until that day, until you are God's anointed Queen, please don't come to visit us.
I apologise if this letter distresses you, but rest assured I only have your family's best interests at heart. I hope you will not think too harshly of me for it.
God Bless you, Princess, and the Princess Blanche too,
Yours truly,
Lady Mary Stafford."
I couldn't help myself. My knees buckled and I had to catch hold of the window frame to keep myself upright.
"What is it, Bessie?" Blanche was at my side in an instant. I handed her the letter, unable to speak.
She read less swiftly than I did, but when she had finished the missive, her eyes just filled with tears.
"So we can't see them, ever again?"
"Not until I'm Queen." I corrected, but my voice was hollow. I couldn't believe Mary Stafford would do this to me; keep me away from my own sisters. And the worst of it was that I could understand her logic. She did just have our best interests at heart. Because of it, I couldn't even appeal to Anne. She'd only back her sister up and I knew it.
"Are you going to appeal to Mama?" Blanche asked. I shook my head.
"There's no point, Blanche. If Lady Stafford's written this, then she must have Anne's approval. Anne will only say it's for the best. We'll just have to accept it; accept it and write to Jess and Nora as often as we can."
"But it's not fair!" Blanche startled me by screaming out loud in a way she hadn't done since Mama died. "They're our sisters! Why can't we see them if we want to?"
"Because they're not Papa's daughters! Because they're not Princesses! Surely you can understand that!"
I knew I was being harsh, but I was in shock myself. Blanche lashed out at me, suddenly uncharacteristically furious.
"And that makes it all right, does it? All right to lock them away as if they're not worthy of us? They're still our sisters! They're still our sisters and I love them even if you don't!"
Swiping tears from her eyes, she raced for the door. I chased after her, catching her round the waist from behind, spinning her to face me.
"That's not true! You know that's not true, Blanche! I love Jessie and Nora just as much as I love you."
"Then talk to Lady Stafford! Make her see that we have to see them!"
"I can't. I can't. You know what it used to be like when Papa came to see us. They were never allowed out of their rooms. They couldn't even make a noise, in case it reminded Papa they were there. And we always had to be on our guard, all the time. With what we said, with what we did. We couldn't mention them once. Do you really want to have to go back to that? Because I don't. I'm happy now; now that Jess and Nora are being cared for. Just because we can't see them doesn't mean we can't love them. They're still our sisters, Blanche. Nothing, not even death, can change that. I promise. And when I'm Queen, I'll see to it that they come to Court. You can have them in your household if you want, as Maids of Honour. In private, we can be the four sisters we used to be."
"Promise?" Blanche's voice was small, raw with emotion. I rocked her gently, hugging her as she buried her face in my chest.
"I promise. Just hold on."
"How long, Bessie? How long do we have to wait to treat them like our trueborn sisters?"
Rubbing my little sister's back soothingly, I kissed her golden hair and murmured, "Until I'm Queen. Blanche. Until I'm Queen."