CHAPTER THIRTY ONE- BLACK ROSES
Once agian, I must dedicate the idea for this chapter to XxNight'sheartxX. I also have to say that the little run in with Etienne and Alex, that was inspired by starlinc and her wonderful reviews. T
hanks to all my other reviewers as well, teagz, Mookie, taylor1adrian, puppylove216, Schery Lestrange Ivahskov, missprincess13, sora, xxxtori101xxx, kaytlinJane, catlover12, ToLazyToSignIn, myra and every single other person who's reviewed my story. that was only the first review page, please dont think i purposely forgot anyone.
anway, here's the next chapter...
I leaned against the wall to the cafateria, flipping through the songs on my iPod carelessly when a boy came running up to me franticlly. After Etienne's heart-felt admission, we'd become closer and I'd spent the rest of the day with him, just being close to my brother was enough, I smiled slightly, remembering.
"Guardian Hathaway!" he exclaimed seeming relieved.
I glanced up and pulled out my headphones, putting them around my neck. "Yeah?" I asked as I began to turn to enter the cafeteria. I opened the door as the boy hurried after me.
"Guardian Hathaway, these are for you!" he said and I noticed that he was holding a long red box, it was a blood red. He shoved them into my hands and scurried away.
"Thanks, kid..." I murmured. I felt eyes from all over the cafateria on me as I studied the box. I ignored them and gently ran my fingers across the black silk ribbon that was tied around the box. I slipped the ribbon off and slowly opened the box. There was a bouquet of black roses and a white piece of paper on top of the stems, it had my name on it in a rusted metalic red. It was so obviously dried blood. I pulled the note out and read:
Rose,
A gift from one life to the next.
There was no signature, but it's not like I needed one to know who it was from. Dimitri. I examined the box more closely, the inside was white, but was splattered with red, it was like a mini paintball field splattered with red paint. But I knew it wasn't paint. It was blood. And on the inside of the top half of the box, there, drawn in blood, was the same type of heart that was carved in my skin. I felt the blood drain from my face as I slowly closed the box and retraced my steps out of the gym.
I knew Dereck was following me, but I didn't care. How could Dimitri be so spiteful? Didn't he know this would hurt me?
My mind turned into a battle field, like ying and yang. The good voice and the bad; the bad telling the cold and painful truth.
Of course he knew it would hurt you!
Why, then? Why would he do it?
Because it's his nature, he loves to cause pain. And besides, don't you think you deserve it?
Deserve it? Why would I DESERVE it? I'm trying to do what's right! What I promised!
Well, you DID leave him. You left him instead of trying harder to save him. You RAN AWAY.
I had to run! I couldn't fight of Janine and Stan!
You should have tried harder, he knows that and so do you.
The only way I could have tried harder was to waste time and probably get both Janine and Stan killed!
Are they more important than Dimitri? Look what Janine's done to you, even at an early age. She deprived you of any family that you had a chance of having. And you've always hated Stan, what's his life to you?
I would be a murderer!
You would have died and no one would have pinned you for anything.
Stop it! It's not true!
It is. Dimitri is punishing you for the thing that you did not do for him, making you suffer is in his nature but he could just as easily torture his comrads, but it has to be you. Because of YOUR mistake.
He should still have a heart! He loved me once!
Did he really?
I stopped, noticing that I had found my way to the gym. A good way to burn off some steam. I pulled one of the bags attached to the ceiling and brought it to a corner, because the other novices would be coming in for class soon. I threw the bouquet to the ground and began hammering it with all my strength in my kicks. I would go find Dimitri as soon as possible and end this all. I put in my head phones and blasted music in my ears. The song playing was 'Fake It' by Seether. I wondered when I'd bought the song, but it was a good song so it didn't matter much.
Who's to know if your soul will fade at all
The one you sold to fool the world
You lost your self-esteem along the way
Yeah
[Chorus:]
Good god you're coming up with reasons
Good god you're dragging it out
Good god it's the changing of the seasons
I feel so raped
So follow me down
And just fake it if you're out of direction
Fake it if you don't belong here
Fake it if you feel like affection
Woah you're such a fucking hypocrite
And you should know that the lies won't hide your flaws
No sense in hiding all of yours
You gave up on your dreams along the way
Yeah
[Chorus]
Whoah
Whoah
I can fake with the best of anyone
I can fake with the best of em all
I can fake with the best of anyone
I can fake it all
Who's to know if your soul will fade at all
The one you sold to fool the world
You lost your self-esteem along the way
Yeah
[Chorus]
Fake it if you're out of direction
Fake it if you don't belong here
Fake it if you feel like infection
Woah you're such a fucking hypocrite
Of course, I wasn't paying any attention to anything around me so I didn't noticed the novices staring at me in shock. The next song was 'In The End' by Linkin Park. That' right, I thought, nothing matters in the end. It's all over in the end. Suddenly Dereck put himself in between me and the punching bag, mid kick. I froze, not wanting to hurt him, I was sure that if my foot connected with his midsection I'd break some ribs. I slowly withdrew my leg and stood before him breathing heavily.
'Rose' his mouth moved but I couldn't hear because my music was on too loud.
I pulled my head phones out and glowered at him. "What are you doing, Dereck? Go join the class," I hissed and noticed that the whole class was around us. I also saw Mikhail holding the bouqet in his hands and he was reading the note and staring in horror. A dry smile passed over my lips as I stared at him. That's nothing, I thought to him. That's only a little bit of what's going on with me. I slowly walked over, taking the bouqet from him.
"I'm just causing distractions, I'll leave," I said quietly and walked out of the gym. I silently, but quickly went to the back of the guardian building, but I didn't go in. I went around to the back where'd I'd kicked the whole in the side. I looked into the blackness and made sure no one was around before I ducked in.
This time I didn't have any light from Christian so I paused at the bottom of the stairs. "Myra?" I called.
"Rosemarie Hathaway, I was wondering when you'd stop in again." the old lady's voice cut through the silence.
"I'm glad you've been waiting, I didn't know I was such great company," I said sarcastically as I hesitantly took a step forward. Suddenly the room was ablaze with candle light. I hadn't noticed candles before, but when they lit the room now, I could see Myra, only feet away, watching me with those creepy gray orbs she used for eyes. "Hey," I nodded.
She nodded to me and held out her hand. I slowly approached and went to her side.
"Your hand," she rasped and I slowly put my hand into her withered one. Her gray eyes went distant, if that were possible, as if she were seeing something from my hand. Like a gypse. I watched her expectantly, I wasn't scared, I was...numb.
"You've seen much since you were last here," the lady observed.
"Yeah, too much," I said dryly.
"Maybe in such a short time, too much, but you are learning."
"Sure, I'm learning," I rolled my eyes. "I'm learning how to feel pain more intensely," I grumbled under my breath but the look in her eyes, made me think she'd heard me.
"Rosemarie..." she murmured. "How do you feel about your uncle?"
I started, how did she know about that?
"The book has it," she responded to my thought and my eyebrows raised.
"Is that a new trick?" I asked. "Reading minds?"
Myra glared at me. "Watch yourself," she warned. "I asked you a question and I expect an answer,"
"Well, my uncle? The one my mother murdered?" it was obvious she could hear the bitter edge in my voice.
"You're angry," she remarked.
"No shit?" I rolled my eyes again. "She took away the only family that I could have had, now I don't even have the shitty mother she was,"
"Do you really think she was such a bad mother?" Myra asked.
"Yeah, I do. But that's not why I'm here. I am here because -"
"I know exactly why you are here, Rosemarie," she tilted her ehad to the side. "Come," Myra turned and began to lead the way through her underground layer. I smirked at that thought and her head snapped back to glare at me. I bit my lip to keep from laughing. She led me back to the table where I'd once sat with my crew.
"Sit, Rosemarie," Myra murmured and I did as I was told. "Your time is coming soon, Rosemarie Hathaway, very, very soon."
"To do what?" I asked.
"You will know what, it is only a matter of hours,"
"What's only a matter of hours?" I asked, leaning towards her.
"You will know in time!" her raspy voice echoed off the walls and she pulled something up onto the table. My book, I remembered seeing the familair cover.
"Yes, you know this well, already, don't you?" she asked and as I nodded I could have sworn that a ghost of a smile passed her lips. "That is good, Rosemarie, now everything will fall into place." I wanted to ask her what the fuck she was talking about but she carried on, "Fear," she said. "Is the only factor that is keeping you from your fate, the only thing that is keeping you from doing what you most need to."
I jumped up from my seat and pounded the table with my fist. "I am not a coward!"
"I did not call you a coward, I just said that you fear what you must do."
"No," I snarled. "I don't, I am not afraid!" her dead-like eyes watched me. "I will do everything that I have to and I am not afraid of anything!"
"Only a fool has no fear,"
"Then I am a fool!" I threw my hands up into the air. "I may be a fool, I may be half dead, I may be disturbed...but I AM NOT AFRAID!"
"Rosemarie," she shook her head sadly. "You are blinded by your strength, you do not want to see your weaknesses, but by seeing them you will become stronger."
For some reason, I remembered Dimitri's 'Zen lessons' when he was still a dhampir and I collasped into my chair. "I'm not afraid," I whispered unsure if I was trying to convince myself or the hag across from me.
"Your time will come, you must be patient and remember your true-self. You are pure, Rosemarie."
"Not as much as you think," I mumbled thickly remembering Dimitri.
"I know it's more than YOU think."
how did you like it?
good, bad, horrible? please review.
i just started a new story for The Mortal Instruments, it's called 'Dark Magic'
anyway, please review
love ya
alice