Chapter 14: Me, of All People
The day of Gaara's transition into being Kazekage was steadily approaching. Each day seemed so short, so fleeting because I spent most of my days occupied until he came home, which ranged from the early evenings to late into the night. The couch that was the closest thing to the front door became my second bed, but I couldn't complain. It was the place Gaara came and sat with me, without the prying eyes of his siblings. Some nights when I was really tired, he would just let me fall asleep in his arms. Each morning, to my dismay, I was back in my bed, with him off at the office.
Temari and Kankuro kept me busy, trying to keep their questions and comments to themselves. I know that each of them had been weary to the relationship between their brother and me, because of the "dark night", which the incident came to be called. I really wished the one of them would just randomly burst and tell me what was on their minds. It would be way better than living like this in a sort of denial.
One day, I had a surprise. When I woke up in the morning, after a quick rinse off and a change of clothes, I walked groggily up to the kitchen to get my usual cup of tea. As I approached, the kitchen table, I looked up and saw Gaara sitting there at the table, staring at me. I just sighed, thinking it was my imagination. Gaara should be at work.
"I guess that's suppose to be good morning?" He asked, making me realize that he actually was sitting at the kitchen table.
"Oh!" I replied, jumping a little bit. "Good morning, Gaara. Aren't you suppose to be at the office?"
"I got a day off." He replied, giving me a little shrug. "Baki was always complaining that I never have time to rest."
I smiled. "Baki is very smart. I'm glad that he was your sensei."
"I wonder if I'm suppose to take offense to that." He replied somewhat sarcastically. "Anyway, we do have some items of business to take care of today."
"We?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
He shook his head slowly. "No, not we as in you and I. We as in you and Temari."
"Really?" I said somewhat sadly. I was never allowed out in public with Gaara. For what reason, it was still unknown to me. "What do Temari and I have to do?"
"How am I supposed to know?" He asked, looking back at his paper. "Go eat your breakfast and head on out. She said that she was going to be waiting outside."
"Yes, sir." I said, resisting the urge to give him a salute.
After I scarfed down a cup of tea and gave a quick hug to Gaara before he could protest, I ran out the door like a schoolgirl that woke up late and was frantically making her way to school. Temari was waiting outside the door, her eyes watching the clouds that floated through the sky. I smiled; it was something that Shikamaru was mostly found doing back in Konoha. I guessed he had rubbed off on her more than I realized.
"Hey!" I said cheerfully, waking her from her daydreams.
"Finally!" She replied, giving me a joking grin. "I thought you were never going to be ready."
"Sorry." I said, scratching my head. "I didn't know that we were going out until Gaara told me. What are our plans for the day?"
"Well," She replied, "We have a couple of errands to run, like getting some food, and returning some books to Baki."
"Cool." I said, giving a smile. "I haven't seen Baki in a while."
"You'll see him soon enough." She said, starting to walk off. "Come on, you slow poke, I already wasted enough time on you!"
"She's still such a meanie at heart." I muttered as I followed behind her.
We walked through the streets, down to the main markets where a large majority of the women and smaller children were found while the older children were at ninja training school, or just out playing near a small playground on the far side of the village. Some of the women stared at me, scrutinizing my used dark blue gown, as they soon whispered to each other. They didn't care much for Temari, except for the fact that I was in her company. Whatever they were saying, it probably wasn't nice.
Temari took an abrupt right, and I swerved in after her, walking down a smaller dirt path. She just looked at me and smiled, and continued to walk until we got to another set of buildings. She stopped outside of one that had lovely linens hanging from a wired clothing rack.
"Come on." Temari replied, knocking on the door of the building. "This is our first stop of the day."
"Okay." I replied, moving in beside her.
Suddenly, the door swung open and a woman stepped out. She was in her late thirties, with a small child hanging on to the hem of her light green dress, looking shyly up at us. She looked over at Temari and gave a warm, motherly smile.
"Ah, there you are Temari!" she said sweetly. "And I'm guessing that this pretty young lady is Esther?"
"Yes." Temari said, giving a small laugh. "It's been a while hasn't it, Ana?"
"Yes, yes." She replied. "Well, please come in. I've set up a small room with some sample linens to see which match the young lady's taste."
"You're always ahead of the game, Ana." Temari said, as she stepped in the door way.
I followed in behind her, closing the door after me. Inside was a large open room, with a pretty table that looked out to the high rising rock wall that protected the village, and to the bright blue sky. It looked like a nice place to sit and think.
Ana laughed. "Well, I did have some help. Right, Addie?"
The small child looked up at Temari, and then at me and gave a huge, childish smile."Mommy told me to pick out some pretty colors."
"Thank you." I replied, giving her a warm smile. "It was hard work wasn't it?"
"Well," Ana said, brushing her hand gently over Addie's light brown curls, "Let's go and find out."
She led us up the small flight of stairs to a quite spacious extra room. All along the room were several different types of fabrics in different amounts. Still, the most breathtaking thing to me were all the luminous colors that ranged across the rainbow. It was like walking into a princess' dressmakers working quarters.
"Wow." I said, trying to say something.
Ana laughed, putting her hand on my shoulder. "Well,now, I'm glad to see that you approve of our selections. Let me get your dimensions, and we'll pick out some material for some dresses. Okay?"
"Of course!" I said happily.
As I stood as still as I could, Ana got my dimensions with little problem. She just smiled each time she met my eye, as of she was a young girl with a secret. I glanced from time from time to Temari, who was sitting on a small couch with Addie sitting on her lap, playing with a small, pretty doll. She looked like a mother. She looked at up at me and just gave a smaller smile and turned her eyes away, thinking of something.
"Well," Ana replied as she put the tape measure down. "It seems that you're dimensions are just like mine before I had my kids."
"Really?" I said, eying her still tiny figure. "You have more children?"
"Yes." She said, picking up a bundle of a silky textured blue cloth. "I have a son, Kudai, who's seven. He's at ninja training school at the moment."
"Oh." I replied as she laid a sample piece of the cloth against my arm. "He must be very happy."
"Yes, he is." She replied, giving a broader smile. "He tries so hard to be like his father. He wants to be a ninja that our whole village can depend upon when he's older."
"That's always a good thing." Temari said, speaking for the first time since we had entered the room.
"Ah, well, of course I know nothing on those matters." Ana said with a small sigh. "I am a seamstress after all."
"And a great one at that." Temari said, giving a smile.
"Thank you." Ana said cheerfully. "Well, I'm thinking some blues and soft purples would match well with your hair and complexion. Do you agree?"
"Of course, " I said, nodding my head. "Whatever you believe is best."
"If only all my other customers were like you." Ana said, shaking her head. "Well, it'll take me awhile, so come back at the beginning of next month alright?"
"Sure." I said, looking at my old dress.
In this room fit for a princess, I felt like a pauper. I had no reason to be here; it wasn't something I deserved. I wasn't rich or beautiful enough to be getting this kind of treatment. I should be back on the streets, living my quiet life in seclusion in the house of the sand sibs, with the humble clothes I had brought for myself.
Ana followed my gaze and then looked back at me. "I'll be right back."
"Sure." I replied, as she left the room in a hurry.
She returned in back in a moment, a blue dress in one of her hands, and a length of a shimmery blue material in her other hand. She came over and handed them to me.
"Put this on." She replied. "I want to see how this looks on you."
"Ok." I said somewhat hesitantly.
I slipped the dress on, and it fit almost perfectly. The sleeves ended at my elbow, and I could see the intricate embroidery that followed around it. It was made of some soft material that felt so comforting. It was truly something made for a princess.
"Hm." Ana said, as she tied the shimmery material tightly around my waist, cinching it in. "Something missing."
Addie got up off of Temari's lap and ran over to her mother. "I know what!"
She ran out of the room before he mother could ask what she had in mind, and appeared with a length of a ribbon in a similar blue. She handed it to her mother with a triumphant smile, as her mother took it from her and gave her a appreciative pat on the the head.
"Such a smart girl." Ana said, giving her daughter smile. "Could you go and get me that brush that's sitting beside Temari, Addie?"
The little girl nodded her head and ran over to the couch. She grabbed the small comb and handed it to her mother, who in return gave another smile. Addie just sat down beside her mother, her eyes watchful as she watched her mother brush my long, silky auburn hair into a gently side pony tail. After the small ribbon was ties securely as a band for my hair, Ana pulled a small piece of my bangs to the side of my face and stepped back.
"You look like a princess!" Addie said, wide-eyed at my transformation from pauper to make-believe princess.
"Really?" I said, twirling around in the beautiful dress.
"You do." Ana said, giving me a most needed approval. "I knew this dress would fit you perfectly, in shape and in style. You truly are a princess at heart aren't you?"
"I don't think so." I said, wiping happy tears off my cheeks. "I'm not pretty,courageous, or wise enough to be a princess."
"Don't say that!" Addie said, pulling gently on the hem of my dress. "We can be princesses together!"
I bent down and smiled at the little girl. Her logic was so simple sometimes, I wish I could be a child again and say such simple things. Now, growing up in the world of adults, where you must govern what you say and how you appear before people, it felt like the truth was always sugar-coated or to unbearable to believe.
"I should probably take off this beautiful dress before I get any more silly fantasies in my head." I responded jokingly, turning to Ana.
She shook her head. "No, don't do that. I meant for you too keep it; put it to some good use again."
"Oh, I couldn't possibly-" I started, looking down at this priceless gift.
"Please, take it." Ana said, picking up her daughter. "It's too small for me now, and I would rather you wear it and feel beautiful in it, instead of it just sitting in my closet without anyone using it."
"Oh, thank you!" I replied, giving her a hug. "Really, thank you!"
"You're very welcome." She said as she eyed the now standing Temari. "Please don't tell me that you two have to leave so soon."
"Well," Temari said, shrugging. "We do have some other things that we need to get done today, but they can wait if you need us to say."
"Good." Ana said, sounding pleased. "I was hoping you two could stay a little longer and have some tea with me."
"Please?" Addie said, reaching towards me.
I looked at Temari, who just rolled her eyes. "I guess we have no other choice. We'll stay." She replied.
"Yay!" Addie cried happily, making us all laugh. She seemed more pleased to have us here than her mother.
We were led down to the large, open spaced dining room on the first floor. Addie was situated on my lap, playing with her beautiful little princess doll. She made small sound effects from time to time, making me want to crack up and laugh at how cute she was.
"That's a pretty doll." I said, looking down at her. "Did you get it from your mom?"
"Nope!" She replied quite happily. "Gaara gave it to me last night."
"Really?" I said, trying to hide my astonishment. Gaara was not the type of person to give these kinds of gifts. Maybe he was finally softening up.
"Yes." Addie said, showing me the doll closer up. "He loves me the most out of all the people in the world. I'm going to marry him!"
Now I couldn't help but laugh at her cute little comment. A four year old in love with a twenty-one year old isolated man? Priceless. It was to funny to believe to be true, and one day I'm sure she'd figure that out.
"Don't laugh at me, older sis!" Addie said, trying to give me a stern look.
"I'm sorry." I replied, trying to stop laughing.
Ana stepped into the dining room, carrying a tray of tea and of a warm smelling desert, as well as a cup of milk for Addie. After she had served us all, she sat down at the seat opposite to mine drinking her tea in small sips.
"Addie told me told me Gaara visited you last night." I said casually.
Ana shot a quick look to her daughter, then put her tea down. "Oh, dear. Addie, didn't I tell you not to say anything?"
"You did?" Addie said, looking up at her mother with big eyes. "I don't remember that."
"That would explain alot." Her mother said, giving a small smile, as she turned to look at me. "Can you please try to act like you never knew any of this was planned by him?"
"Of course." I said, giving a reassuring smile. "Don't worry."
"Good." Ana said, taking a sip of her tea. "That saves me a whole load of stress to deal with the next time he comes around."
"He comes here often?" I asked, looking around.
"Yes." Ana said, laughing. "He loves to visit Addie and Kudai. I think he has a soft spot for kids."
"Really?" Temari said, giving a small laugh. "My brother is just full of surprises lately."
"Yes, I guess." Ana said, shaking her head. "Well, I should probably let you two go and get your other things done. Thank you for staying for tea."
"No problem." Temari said, getting up. "Thanks for everything, Ana."
"Yes," I replied, handing her Addie. "Especially thank you for the dress. I'll cherish it forever."
"No problem." Ana said, putting her hand on my shoulder. "I'll see you two next month, alright?"
"Of course." Temari and I responded at the time.
We left Ana's house, and I was in the best mood. As we walked down the streets that led down to the main market, the way people looked at me changed. A lot of people just stopped and stared with wide-eyed amazement. I just kept a confident smile on my face as Temari scoffed silently and muttered things under her breath. We bought a few large bag fulls of food and headed out of the market, laughing at each other because of all the food we each we carrying. For four people, we sure ate a lot of food.
We left the market and headed to the more deserted part of the village, where the offices and hospital were located. We walked past a lot of men who were quietly talking and watching us as we passed by, quiet as mice. Soon, we got to the main office that held the Sand symbol on both sides of its outer walls. It brought back old memories of the first time I had come here, as well as the first time I met Baki face to face.
"Here." Temari said, as she put her bags of food down and pulled off the pack that was concealed on her back. "Could you give these back to Baki? I'll take your food back to the house."
"Are you sure?" I asked, handing her my bags. "It seems like a little too much for you."
She shook her head. "It's not. I always got groceries by myself. This is no problem."
"Alright." I said, laughing. "I'll be back soon, ok?"
"Sure thing, princess." Temari said teasingly as she left down the road.
I walked into the building, to be greeted by a secretary who sat in a large table at the entrance of the building. I told her my business, and she got up and showed me the way to Baki's office. She stopped me at the doorway, as she knocked at the door with three quick raps.
"Come in." Baki's booming voice called from behind the door.
"Baki." The secretary said, poking her head through the door. "There's a young woman here that says she had some books to return to you."
"Ah!" Baki said. "Please let her in."
I entered the office to see Baki standing by his desk, smiling at me. "Hello, Esther. It's been quite a while, hasn't it?"
"Yes." I said, smiling. "Temari sent me to return some books that she had borrowed from you."
"Ah." He said, nodding. "You can give them to me, and I'll put them back later."
"Sure." I said, as I handed him the bag full of books.
"Please, sit down." He said politely, as he sat back down at his desk. "Would you like some tea?"
"Oh, no thank you." I replied. "We're just about to eat and I promised Temari I'd help with dinner tonight."
"Ah." He replied, giving a small laugh. "You're very kind hearted. You do so many good things for that family."
"I don't think so." I replied, scratching my head."I should be thanking you, for giving Gaara a day off."
"He needed it." Baki said, frowning a little. "That boy has been overworking himself for too long, and I had to step in and say something. It seemed like he had a lot on his mind, other than his work here in my offices."
"Oh." I said, looking down. "That's all my fault."
"Don't say that." Baki said truthfully. "I heard from Temari right after the whole incident happened between the two of you. I also confronted Gaara about, and he confessed to it as well. From the way the both of them spoke on it, you were the innocent victim and I know it to be true. You still have the scars from that night, don't you?"
"Yes." I replied, my head down. "I'm quite alright with them. I don't think of them as scars anymore; they're more like a part of the past when Gaara and I didn't communicate enough and we had to pay for it."
"Is that the way that you seem them?" He asked quietly. "I never thought of them like that."
"That's because," I whispered, rubbing my arms. "I have to remember that not everything can be perfect; we grow from our mistakes."
"Nicely said." Baki said, getting up from his desk "Do you think Gaara applies that to his own life?"
"I think he does." I said, looking up. "I think the realization of that night has impacted him to change the way that he deals with things. I also think that he has the realization of what he truly is."
"And what would that be from your perspective?" Baki said, watching me.
"He's a man, just like you and Kankuro and everyone else in this world." I said, firm in what I was saying. "He just holds more power than a regular person does, but that doesn't mean that he should be treated like he was born a monster out of his will."
"You acknowledge his power, but you don't use it to identify him with it." Baki said, giving a small smile. "I think you're the only person who's ever said that about Gaara."
"I wish that I wasn't." I replied reluctantly, scratching my head. "I wish that more people would see him the way that I do."
"Maybe one day they will." Baki said optimistically. "Hopefully, after he steps in and becomes Kazekage, people will see his true inner strength; the strength of a leader that he has without the help of Sabaku. Still, it will be probably still be hard for him then. Not everyone will stop seeing him as a monster."
"Ah." I said, looking down. By Boggy, it was so sad and frustrating. I wish people would just give Gaara a chance!
"When he does become the leader of the Sand," Baki said, interrupting my thoughts. "He'll need somebody there to support him. Temari and Kankuro will be there for him, like the siblings they are, but there's somethings that Gaara keeps to himself because he doesn't want to burden them with his thoughts and problems. Do you think you could be that person?"
I looked up at Baki, with a confidant look in my eyes. I didn't need any time to decide. "I will be that person. Gaara is the person who is most important to me, and I'll stand beside him, there through everything that he struggles and accomplishes. I will never let him walk alone again."
Baki looked at me, his face expressionless for a moment, but then he smiled. "You're a very headstrong young woman, aren't you? You remind me so much of my daughter."
"Thank you." I said, not sure if it was a compliment or an insult.
"You've given me a lot to think about." Baki said truthfully, with a sigh. "Well, you should probably be heading home soon, correct?"
"Ah, yes!" I said, standing up. "Temari probably already started cooking dinner without me!"
Baki laughed. "Ah. Well, let me walk you home then. It's not proper for a young woman to be walking home in the dark. I'd love to say that our village was safe, but I can't. We're not perfect."
"Thank you." I said, smiling at the older man. "I think that would put them at ease, knowing I had someone to walk home with."
We headed out of Baki's office, into the early night. The village was deathly quiet, except for an eerie wind the swept across the sand. I was glad that Baki was with me, because who knows what I would have been thinking walking back home. We headed out down some narrow streets, Baki studying the scenery around us. I knew it was probably pretty awkward for him to be walking home with me, a girl half his age. As we approached the street that the house was located on, Baki began to speak to me for the first time since we had left.
"Ana gave you the dress that you're wearing, didn't she?" Baki asked randomly, as we turned a corner.
"Ah, yes." I replied, looking down at the shimmery sash. "How did you know?"
"I remember my wife making it for her eighteenth birthday, a year before she got married." Baki said, closing his eyes. "I could remember the huge smile plastered on Ana's face as she pulled it out of the box. I remember that she wore it the night that her husband asked for her hand in marriage, and the time she came over to tell us that she was going to have Kudai."
"Oh!" I said, looking up at Baki as I rubbed my hand against the dress. "Ana's your daughter?"
"Yes." Baki said, with a laugh. "The only family I have left in this world. My wife died a year after Kudai was born, and so now all I'm left with is Ana and her family. I'm thankful for each one of them. Without them, I probably would have been a cranky old man with nothing to live for."
"I'm sorry to hear about that." I said, looking down. "I feel kind of bad that Ana let me have this dress. I should return it."
"Ana knew what she was doing when she gave you the dress." Baki said, patting my shoulder. "My wife lives on in this dress, and in Ana. You deserve to be happy and feel like royalty, which is what Ana was trying to tell you. I think she was trying to tell you to keep going, because there's more awaiting you in the future."
"Ah." I said, smiling. "That fills my heart with joy. I think that was just what I needed to hear. I'm so thankful for Ana."
"That makes me happy, as well, knowing that my daughter has brought you some joy." Baki said, laughing a little bit. "Well, this is where we say goodbye."
I looked to my right and saw that we were right in front of the house. "I guess so. Thank you for walking me home, Baki, as well as for everything else."
"You're quite welcome." Baki said. "Tell that boy that I want to hear some positive things that happened on his day off, alright?"
"Of course." I replied, laughing. "Good night, Baki."
"Same to you." He called over his shoulder, as he walked down the street.
I knocked on the door of the house. In a spilt second, the door opened and Gaara stood on the other side, looking at me. He was probably worrying about me. He ushered me inside of the house, and closed the door behind me with a quiet click.
"Please," He said, looking down at me. "Tell me that you did not walk through the streets alone."
"Of course not." I replied, laughing. "Baki insisted that he walk me home. Before I forget, he said that he wants to hear some positive things that happened on your day off tomorrow."
"Really?" Gaara said coldly. "That old man is full of wise cracks."
"Gaara!" I said, hitting him lightly on the shoulder. "Don't be so mean! He means good."
"I'll let you be the judge of that." He said, leading me into the kitchen. "Kankuro and Temari have been waiting for a while to eat, so let's not waste anymore time talking."
"Oops." I replied, feeling a little bit guilty. "You guys should have started without me."
We sat down at the kitchen table, where the two of them were all ready seated. They just took one look at me, then looked at each other, and shook their heads. I took my seat beside Temari and looked at her, expecting an answer, but she just looked away and started to eat.
"Nice dress." Kankuro said, after a moment.
"Thanks." I said, giving him a smile. "Ana gave it to me. She's a very kind person, and her daughter is so precious, too."
"Yeah." Kankuro said, nodding. "She's been good to our family."
"Yes, she has." Temari said, agreeing with her brother. "Anyway, we have to clean the house tomorrow. If I keep laying it off, this house will turn into a pig sty."
"It's never been that dirty!" I replied, laughing. "I'll help of course. Maybe we'll get done quickly and we'll have some free time to ourselves."
"Yeah right." She scoffed. "Maybe in a million years."
"Well," Kankuro said, getting up fro the table. "I would love to help, but I have training duty at the school."
"That sounds fun." I said, smiling.
"Sure." He said, shaking his head. "You try working with some crazy little kids who look at you like you were speaking some alien language when you tell them to do something."
"And I," Gaara said, interrupting the conversation as he got up. "Have to go back to work tomorrow."
"It's not like we were going to ask you to help anyway." Temari said sarcastically. "We all know how much you love to clean."
"Then how is it that my room is always the cleanest?" He asked, shooting her a look.
"It's because he never uses it." Temari muttered to me.
"Well," I laughed, as I got up from the table. "I love how you guys get worked up over the silliest little things."
I put my dishes down into the sink, and turned to see Gaara looking at me. I just sent him a smile, and he just walked off down the hallway, probably to the living room. I guess I would go and stay with him for a while until it got to late, since I was out the entire day. I looked at Temari, who gave me a small smile, and shooed me away with her hand. I laughed, and walked down the hallway. I think she was getting used to me and Gaara talking right before we went to sleep.
I walked into the dimly lit living room, where Gaara had gone. He was sitting on the couch, his head leaning against one of his hands. He was looking at me, and I couldn't help but smile. I came in and sat beside him, tucking my feet underneath me.
"You had a long day." He said quietly, looking down at me.
"Not really." I said, shrugging. "I enjoyed being out in the fresh air. I wish I wasn't confined in here all the time."
"You're not confined by any means." He replied. "You can go out of the house, but it would give me more peace of mind if you stayed here."
"Why?" I teased. "Do you think I'm not safe in your village?"
"Dressed like that, of course you're not." Gaara scoffed. "I have a few clues to what some of those men were thinking looking at you."
"Really?" I said, continuing my teasing. "And what would they be thinking?"
"I have no reason to tell you." He said, shaking his head slowly. "I'm sure Kankuro would tell you if you asked. He was the one who said you looked pretty, not me."
"Hey!" I said, scrunching my nose at him "You don't think I'm pretty?"
"I never said that." He replied, putting his arm gently around me.
"But you were implying it." I muttered, as I felt my heart beat faster. His touch usually did that to me, now that I think about it. It was strange that I had just noticed it now.
"Whatever you say." He muttered back, his own little way of joking with me.
I leaned my head against his side, and let out a small sigh of relief. The way I was leaning against him, I could hear his heartbeat. It was a fast, pounding thump that filled my ears like a gentle drum. It was really soothing, just sitting here knowing that he was real and alive with me.
"Tired much?" He asked quietly.
"Yeah." I said, stifling a yawn.
His arm moved down mine slowly at first, as if he wasn't sure what he was doing. Then, he moved it up to my head, and started to stroke my head slowly. He did this a lot; it was like he wasn't sure if he should be touching me at all. I'm sure this was all weird to him, since he never had someone this close to him. I just smiled and closed my eyes.
"Hey." I said, waiting for a reply.
"What?" He asked.
"I was just wondering," I said quietly, "But what are you going to say to Baki tomorrow? Did something good actually happen today?"
It was silent for a moment. "Yes," He replied so quietly that I almost didn't hear him. "Something good did happen today."
"Really?" I asked. "I'd like to hear about it, too."
"You will." He replied, as I fell asleep. "Later, I promise."
AN:Yay! Yet another chappie. Please review and tell me what you think!