CHAPTER THIRTY THREE- MIKHAIL'S STORY

I was actually going to call this chapter 'Darling Diana' over 'Mikhail's Story' or even 'We Didn't Have Anything' but the latter won as the most important part. Enjoy.

I woke up in a warm embrace and as I tried to lift my head, I was hit with a wave of pain. Killer headache, I thought numbly as I put my head back down. I noticed that I put my head down on something other than my pillow; I looked down to see Etienne. Of course, I thought remembering everything that had happened yesterday.

I have a Ferrari. I smiled dryly at the thought and groaned again.

Etienne stretched and breathed in heavily, his arms tightened around me. "Good morning, sis,"

I patted his chest twice. "'Morning,"

He caught my tone. "Too much wine for you?" when I didn't answer, he laughed. "I told you so,"

"You didn't tell me anything," I groaned, rolling away from him; I stretched out on my bed and groaned again, pressing a hand to my forehead. "Oh, man," Etienne chuckled again. "I didn't used to be this bad," I said. "I could get really drunk and then I'd get off the next day with a mini headache."

"Obviously you're getting worse in your old age," he joked, rolling onto his side to look at me.

"Not true, I think they spiked the wine," I declared, raising my hand in the air and letting it flop down beside me.

Etienne laughed and got up. "Okay," he leaned down and kissed my forehead as he retrieved his pants and began to put them on.

"Where are you going?" I asked quietly.

"I've got places to go, people to see," he said, smiling down at me.

"Don't have time for your favorite person anymore?" I pouted.

"I always have time for you, baby sis," he messed up my hair and I groaned, batting away his hand. "I'm going to get you some water and then I have to go."

"Why?" I whined, staring up at him from beneath my tangle of dark hair.

He looked confused, but amused. "Well, darling," he sighed as he sat down on the bed beside me. "Obviously it has slipped your mind, but we're leaving today."

My brow went together in confusion. "What do you mean?" I asked not wanting to know the answer.

He took my hand, twining our fingers together. "We have to go back to the Court today, Rosie,"

I ignored the 'Rosie' and held his hand tighter. "No, that's no fair."

"Why not? You were so eager to get rid of us when we first got here,"

"Etienne!" I sat up too quickly and got really dizzy so I fell back down onto my pillows. "You can't leave, it's not fair."

"We have to," He leaned down and put his forehead against mine. "Don't worry, we can still talk on the phone and email each other."

I shook my head like a frightened child. "That's not the same,"

"Nothing is ever the same," he said wisely.

"That's not true," I disagreed. I was frightened, I realized, frightened of what I would become if he left me to deal with all my problems all alone, what I would become if I didn't have anyone who believed in me so much, someone who still believed I was much better than I really was.

"You're right, but I need to leave; go back to bed." I shook my head stubbornly and he sighed again. "You need to rest and I need to go, but I promise it won't be so bad,"

I felt like he was trying to sooth me before getting a needle. "Don't go," my voice was so ridiculously thick, making me sound like I was going to cry.

"You make things so hard," he moaned then he quickly kissed my forehead and he kissed my hand. He stood up, "Aw, don't look so sad, litter sister, it's okay. You'll always have me with you."

"What a line," I rolled my eyes, turning my face away from him so he wouldn't see if any tears just happened to fall. I felt my eyes get very full and I didn't show weakness, that's just who I was; Rose Hathaway was never to falter.

"No, I'm serious," He gently took my chin in his hand and turned my face back to him. A tear leaked out and slowly rolled down my cheek; Etienne looked so broken, but he wiped my tear away so gently with the lightest flick of his thumb. "Around your neck," He whispered and pointed to the locket as he smiled. "I would never lie to you, Rose," he murmured and closed his eyes for a second before getting up and walking towards the door. "Catch you later, sis!"

"Bye, bye," I murmured, but the door was already closed. I reached for my laptop and iPod. I clumsily plugged in the speakers and iPod then put it on shuffle and really loud. You'd think loud music wouldn't help a headache, but I'm out of the ordinary. Obviously.

Cranking the music, I lay on my bed, sad that they were leaving but too hung-over to do anything about it. I felt like a stone, like my veins were filled with concrete.

Some Billy Talent song was blaring through my speakers but I didn't really pay any attention to it, I wasn't really paying attention to anything. Not even my thoughts could be considered coherent.

I came to the realization that something was happening when my door opened and in walked Alex. He was carrying a case of water bottles. I wondered indolently what he was doing, but I just watched him as he set down the case at the end of my bed and tried to find the volume on my laptop. I reached over and pressed the pause button on my iPod and looked at him questioningly.

"Good morning, Rose," he said sarcastically, looking slightly flustered.

"'Morning," I muttered. "What are you doing?"

"Your brother told me you needed lots of water and practically threw the case at me before he ran out. Where is he going?"

I'd begun to get myself into a better mood, or, well, no mood. But hearing about Etienne leaving just made me depressed. I sighed dejectedly and closed my eyes, "He's leaving,"

"What do you mean?" asked Alex.

"I mean that he's going back to the Court,"

"Why?"

"Because he needs to,"

"Why?"

"Shut up, Alex." It was quiet for a few minutes before I sighed again. "Sorry, I'm hung-over and it sucks that Etienne's leaving and I really don't want to talk about it." I turned on my side, wanting to turn my music back on and just get lost in it.

"Okay…" he said then looked around the room. "Don't you know how to clean?" he asked with amusement.

"Yeah, but I choose not too; though, when I leave, it'll be spotless." I gave him a reassuring smile that was answered with a frown.

"Rose, about that –"

Suddenly, there was a girl standing in the door of my room, looking at us with some expression that was hard to read. She was a dhampir, that was obvious from her build, but she wasn't a guardian. She had long black hair and was wearing a white sweater with blue jeans that fit her exceptionally well. "Alexander!" the lady exclaimed. "What are you doing?"

Alex looked so shocked that he froze and didn't answer; I figured she was a girlfriend or relative or something so I decided to speak up. "Hey, I'm Rose, Alexander was just bringing me some water because I'm sick."

Mikhail just happened to be passing by and stopped. "You're not sick, you're hung-over," he smirked at me.

The girl gave me an incredulous look and one to the room that was very similar to the one Alex had given moments before. Then her gaze returned to me and she seemed to realize how old I was and she smiled kindly at me. "Oh, sweetie, that's too bad; are you new here?"

I nodded calmly, returning her smile. "Yeah, I'm a new guardian here,"

She walked into the room and messed up my hair. "I hope you get better, Rose; by the way, I'm Diana," she held out her hand to me, I shook it good naturedly and kept on smiling.

I watched as she placed a delicate hand on Alex's cheek and said, "He's always working too hard; we haven't seen each other in months. He proposed to me last time we went out and I just couldn't stand staying away from him any longer."

I blinked and sat up. "Wow, engaged. Bravo, buddy," I nodded to the still frozen Alex and then I looked back at Diana with an intrepid smile. "You too,"

She smiled. "Thank you so much, I've been wedding planning for the past months." She announced proudly and I smiled tightly.

"That's so great," I said to her, then to Alex – Alexander, "Go on, Alexander, go out with your fiancé, I'll cover for you."

He finally unfroze and stared at me in horror, I smiled gallantly. Alexander stood stiffly and nodded very slowly to me. "Okay…Thank you, Rose…if anyone asks, I left for a couple days and left you in charge, alright? Let's go, darling," he said to Diana and they walked out hand in hand.

I nodded. "Have fun, kids," I smirked ruefully as they left my room. Well, now that you've met Darling Diana and many of Dimitri's Strigoi bachelorettes, I think your only safe bet is Adrian. He seems to be the only faithful one. I smiled dryly at the thought because Adrian was notoriously known for being a player. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, falling back against my pillows.

Mikhail still stood in the door looking at the empty doorway then back at me with confusion written all over his features. "Didn't you…Alexander and you…what?"

A tear escaped the corner of my eye without my consent. "Nothing, Mikhail, there's nothing." I didn't know why I felt like this, I shouldn't have been feeling like this. It wasn't right; Alexander and I didn't really have anything serious. We couldn't have because I wasn't over Dimitri yet. I couldn't have – why did I feel this way?

"Oh, Rose," Mikhail said quietly as he closed the door and came to sit next to me on the bed. He wrapped his arms around me and I pressed my face into his shoulder.

"I don't know what's wrong with me," I said quietly, my voice was thick with undesired emotion again.

"Well, where's your brother?" Mikhail asked and I didn't know what he was trying to say, but it gave me an idea.

"Come on," I said abruptly, pulling away from him.

"What?" he asked in confusion. I was already going towards the door.

"I hope you can keep up, Mikhail," I said over my shoulder before I bolted out the door and out of the guardian building.

I saw with a start that I was right. It had snowed over night and it had stayed. There was about two inches of snow on the ground and it was a very cold welcome to my body that was in a tight tank and thin silk pajama bottoms.

I could hear Mikhail scrambling after me, but I didn't think much of it, I only had one thing on my mind.

Flying through campus, novices and Moroi shouted greetings to me, but I ignored them as well. I had to get to the Academy's landing strip. Running bare foot on cement and twigs and snow and whatever else had to be on the ground would be a killer to my feet, but I didn't feel anything then but the desire to get there. I tore through campus and I could hear Mikhail yelling after me, but I was too busy dodging students to worry about him, he could follow and wait for my explanation later.

I was almost there, almost to the far end of campus where the thing was. Why do they have to put things to freaking far away? I sprinted into the landing strip like hell and I saw that they were waiting for their plane to be ready.

"Adrian!" I yelled loudly and they all turned to see me running towards them. I crashed into Adrian, throwing my arms around his neck and holding him tightly.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and even though he had no idea what I was doing, I think he enjoyed having me in his arms. "I'm sorry," I murmured into his neck.

"For what, Rose?"

"For being a bitch," I said honestly. I pulled back and looked him in the eye, "I'm coming back," I whispered; seeing the happiness in his eyes, I had to add, "Not today, but I'm coming back. Just promise one thing,"

"Anything," he said immediately. His eyes held complete faith and trust.

"Don't get a fiancé in the time that I'm gone, okay?"

Adrian looked confused, but he nodded. "Of course, Rose, I –"

I quickly put my hand to his mouth. "Don't say it yet," he nodded again and I took my hand from his mouth to his cheek.

"Rose?" Etienne's voice was hard. I looked up in surprise and I knew that he knew what my request to Adrian meant. "Are you serious?"

I pulled out of Adrian's arms and looked my brother in the eyes that were glowing with fury. I met them steadily and said, "It doesn't matter, I'm over it,"

"In minutes? Be real, Rose,"

"I am, completely; it's nothing Etienne, I promise." Our eyes locked and I willed him to calm down and give it up.

"You've been crying," he said emotionlessly.

"No," I denied averting my gaze.

"Yeah, that's why there is a tear on your cheek, right?" he said knowingly.

"It doesn't matter now, it's done." I said and I quickly got rid of the tear.

"What are you talking about?" Lissa asked; I'd completely tuned out everyone else. I blinked and looked at her, then Christian and Eddie. They looked completely stunned, I smirked.

"It's nothing, Liss, I just came to say goodbye," I smiled at her.

"But Etienne told me you were hung-over?" she frowned.

"I am, but do you think that's going to stop me from doing anything? I'm in charge of the whole Academy for a couple of days and a little headache isn't going to stop me from doing my job,"

"What about that Contrive guy?" Christian asked.

"His fiancé came for a visit and they're taking a vacation for a little bit, he left me in charge until he gets back." I said primly and I didn't miss how Etienne tensed, I moved closer to him and placed a hand on his arm. "I'm fine, Etienne, don't worry."

"Okay, then what's Etienne's problem?" Christian asked, knowing that there was something else.

"When did you get so nosey?" I shot back with a smile. "There's nothing more to it, Etienne's just worried that I can't handle a hangover." I joked.

Mikhail, who'd finally caught up, snorted. "If Rose can't handle a hangover then she should be dead,"

"What do you mean?" Adrian asked intent on Mikhail's answer.

"Don't you know that she's broken almost every bone in her body? Fuck, she's still recovering from broken ribs," he replied irritated.

"I haven't broken all my bones," I said sheepishly. "Besides, I can take it; no one needs to worry about me!" I stomped my foot and glared at Mikhail. "I am not a baby and I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself,"

"Well, that's debatable," he muttered under his breath.

"And how many times have I kicked your ass?" I shot back.

"And how many times have you done something stupid and gotten yourself hurt? Like idiotically staying outside the gates to fight Strigoi on your own? Or running out of your room in practically nothing, with no shoes in snow? Or –"

"I get it!" I shouted interrupting him. "Don't sour the mood, Mikhail," I turned to Etienne and jumped on him as I threw my arms around his neck. His arms wound around my waist and he held me tightly.

"Rose, are you sure you're okay?" he asked quietly.

I nodded. "Forget about it, Etienne, it's fine." I murmured and then I said in a more gamely voice, "Now, we have to call each other at least once a day, alright? You can't just leave me hanging here, plus, you'll want to know how I'm doing, right?" I joked.

"Always," he said quietly. "Don't do anything stupid, Rose. If I get a call that you've died or had to undergo surgery, I'll be super pissed off."

"You won't get a call, I promise." I didn't say that either of those things wouldn't happen, but he didn't need to know that. Next, I hugged Lissa tightly and she looked like she was about to bawl.

"Rose, I'm so sorry for everything I've done," he whispered and I stroked her hair gently and smiled regretfully.

"It's not all your fault," I said then she nodded slowly and I moved on to Christian.

"Hey, Rose?" he asked quietly as we embraced.

"Hmmm?"

"Promise me that you won't get yourself killed,"

I didn't say anything for a moment and then I said, "You wouldn't be able to live without me then, huh? You would cry into your pillow every night if I died." I remembered him making a sarcastic comment about that while we were at the feeders with Alice during the field experience.

I pulled away to see he was blushing slightly. "Promise it, Rose,"

"I won't try to kill myself, Christian; I promise that I won't do that." I evaded, he looked at me for a long time, knowing exactly what I was doing. "You're going to have to settle for that," I admitted quietly, he gave only the smallest shake of his head.

Eddie and I didn't exchange many words, but we knew what we were thinking, the only thing that he said was, "Don't die, Rose."

They had to board the plane and I watched them go sadly, standing beside Mikhail. "Lissa's grown up," he said quietly as we stared at the plane.

"Yeah,"

"So have you, but in a different way." He said thoughtfully. I didn't reply and Mikhail pursued the topic. "What happened, Rose? Why are you really here?"

"The same thing you went through," I replied softly and I felt Mikhail tense next to me.

"What do you mean?" he asked stiffly, his posture was now rigid.

"What happened with you and Ms. Karp," I said quietly, finally turning to look at him as the plane took off into the air. It was very loud and Mikhail didn't say anything for a while, then he finally responded.

"What do you know about that?"

"That Ms. Karp was a spirit user and it was driving her insane, then she turned Strigoi on purpose and you went to hunt her down." I looked him in the eye and I saw the eternal pain he was suffering. Will I end up like that? I wondered.

Mikhail's breathing became labored and after a long minute he said, "And how have you experienced the same thing?"

I turned my face away, slightly to the side. "I loved someone and they were turned, I'm hunting him."

"Who was it?"

After another long pause, I said, "Did you know Dimitri Belikov?"

"Yes, Belikov is a great guardian." Mikhail said confused.

"No, he was a great guardian. The raid at St Vladamir's, when we went after the Strigoi to get our people Dimitri was taken and Turned." I said bitterly. "They wouldn't let me go back for him, I could have saved him. I could have done it, I should have tried harder."

Mikhail put an arm around me. "You probably would have died," he said softly.

I nodded. "But I should have tried harder." We stood there for a long time before one of the flight attendants asked us to leave.

"Rose?" Mikhail said as we were walking back towards campus. "Was it just you loving him or did he love you back too?"

I swallowed. "We loved each other," I admitted. "But we couldn't tell anybody because he was my mentor and he was seven years older than me and we were going to be Lissa's guardians, we couldn't let anything get in the way of that." It all came pouring out of me, whether I like it or not.

Mikhail nodded slowly. "I'm sorry," he said quietly.

"Me too,"

We were silent all the way back to campus and then we went back to my room. We grabbed a case of pop on our way up and in my room, we turned on the music again. When Mikhail was surfing all the songs I had, he picked 'How to Save a Life' by the Fray and put it on repeat. He also made me put on my slippers that looked like those UGG boots everyone had, but they were blue and green, decorated with snowflakes and they had the top turned down with a fuzzy fabric with two little balls hanging from strings.

We put a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the door and just sat around downing pop bottles until Mikhail decided to say something.

"Sonya and I…we loved each other…and I knew what she was going through, but I didn't know how to help her with it. And she would always say she was okay, she was getting better. 'Don't you worry about me, Mikhail; I'm as fit as a fiddle. Nothing to worry about, I'm just fine,' she would always say with a smile." Mikhail's voice began to get thicker and he took a long drink of root beer.

"I knew she wasn't alright, but she could convince me sometimes that she was getting better. But I was just deluding myself; I knew that whenever I saw the marks on her forehead, her scars. Or when I went to her room to find her curled up in a corner crying or just trembling, or when she went on about the 'things' that were haunting her. Following her around, speaking to her.

"But she could always get me to believe her, or make me think things were going to be okay. I keep thinking now, was I a fool? Listening to her and keeping it everything a secret? Was I wrong to promise that I wouldn't tell anyone without her permission?" a tear ran down Mikhail's face and he moved on to his next bottle.

I watched him in despair, way to caught up in his story. It reminded me of what Dimitri had said after I finally confessed to seeing ghosts and of myself when I had told Dimitri that Lissa was cutting her wrists. I took a long drink from my own root beer and pushed my hair out of my face as I watched Mikhail beside me on my bed.

"I was thinking about her when I heard that she'd killed a doctor and injured patients in the infirmary. When I heard that she'd become Strigoi, I felt like I could die. Like my word was shattered and everything was falling apart." More tears came and Mikhail took another drink of pop before continuing.

"I went to the infirmary; I saw what everyone was telling me she had done. I didn't want to believe it, I didn't want to think that my Sonya could do something like this, I didn't want to believe that she'd gone." Mikhail said brokenly and took a few minutes to try and collect himself.

Then he went on, "When I finally got back to coherency, I knew what I had to do. I had to find her and do what I knew she'd want done. I didn't want some random guardian killing her because she was a threat. I wanted to do it because it would be the last action we could share. The last thing we would ever do together. I know it sounds sick, right? But it's what I thought."

Mikhail, you are saying that to the wrong person. I thought, to me, it wasn't sick in any way.

"Sonya was Russian, did you know that?" he looked at me with bleary eyes and I shook my head. "She was Russian, though you wouldn't know it from her looks. So I thought I would go to Russia to look for her. When I finally found her, she was worse than she was before.

"She still looked the same, except for her eyes, her red eyes." Mikhail shuddered and I placed a hand on his leg. I wasn't sure if I wanted to hear the rest. "She was crazy," Mikhail chocked out. "She was so crazy. I found her in a forest, near the hotel I was staying at. I found her laying against a tree, playing with a gun." He shook his head, like he still couldn't believe it.

"When she heard me approach, she got up and smiled at me. 'Mikhail, it's so nice to see you again,' she said as she spun the barrel again. She knew I'd been following her and she said so too. I was so stunned, I didn't even say anything.

"She told me that she'd got special bullets made for her gun. Bullets that could kill Strigoi if it went through their hearts. She told me that she got a stake from a guardian she'd killed and had it melted down and made into bullets. I didn't believe her and when I shook my head, she got that impression.

"So she said, 'Then let's test our theory,' she smiled again, but her smile wasn't the same. She wasn't the same. 'We're in the title county; let's play a little Russian Roulette.' She showed me that there was only one bullet and spun the barrel. Pointing it at my heart first, she pulled the trigger.

"The bullet wasn't in that one so she pointed it at herself, then me, then back to her and then me. Then, once she pointed it to herself again, she said, 'I loved you.' Then – oh, God." Mikhail sobbed.

"It's okay, you don't have to say anything else, I get it." I said urgently to him, not wanting to know anymore.

He shook his head and looked across the room unseeingly, tears streaming down his face. "She – she pulled the trigger and killed herself. I didn't believe it would work but it did and she just collapsed, falling to the ground. She – I didn't believe her." Mikhail lost himself, sobbing and I stared at him in horror.

"Oh my God," I whispered, tears of my own falling. "Oh my God, Mikhail, I'm so sorry…oh my God…" it seemed as if I couldn't say anything else. Wrapping my arms around him, I let Mikhail sob into my shirt as I held him tightly, repeating, "Oh my God, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry…"

After a very long time, Mikhail finally lifted his head and looked at me sadly. "You didn't need to hear that,"

I shook my head. "No, I think I did,"

Mikhail looked stunned, then ashamed. "You must think very badly of me now," he said softly. "I didn't do anything when I found her, I didn't kill her myself; I was too scared."

I shook my head again and gripped his hand tightly. "Mikhail, you still went after her, you knew what you had to do, things just went wrong and happened the way they did. None of it is your fault," I whispered, in the dim light of my room I could barely see his face but I knew there was pain written all over it. "Mikhail, you must know that it wasn't your fault, it was never your fault."

It was so quiet and I didn't think Mikhail was going to say anything else, but finally, he said something that completely shocked me. "It's not your fault either," he said very softly. "What happened to Belikov isn't your fault."

I blinked and turned my face away. "You don't know that," I whispered.

"Yeah, I do; Rose, did you shove him into a Strigoi?" he asked me, his voice suddenly fierce.

I turned on him. "No! I would never do something like that!"

"Did you trick him into it?"

"No!"

"Then it's not your fault."

I took a deep breath; Mikhail didn't know what he was talking about, he didn't know what happened because he wasn't there. There was no point in arguing with him, he had no idea just how fucked up things were. Sighing, I shook my head slowly, looking back at Mikhail. "Do we have any beer here?"

"None that you're getting at," he said sternly.

"But we could play 'I Never'," I said hopefully. I thought getting wasted was a pretty good idea at that point.

"We could play with pop," he said.

"That's not as fun," I complained.

"You like getting trashed?" he asked me, lying down on the bed, looking at me from under his brown hair.

"It seems like a pretty good idea right now," I said easily, lying down next to him and he sighed.

"It does, doesn't it?"

"Yeah," I sighed this time.

"Let's go do something else," he said, sitting up and running a hand through his hair.

"Yeah, okay,"

8*8*8*8*8*8*8

We found ourselves in the student cafeteria before lunch, sitting there with a huge piled plate of food sitting between us. Mikhail and I had put it together, but we were picking at it as we talked, because it's rude to talk with your mouth full. Not that Mikhail was taught that when he was a child.

"Rose, do I get to hear your story?" He asked around a mouth full of fries.

I looked at him, tilting my head to the side slightly. "Maybe when I get over it, okay?"

"Can I ask questions?" he'd recovered reasonably well in a short amount of time, though his eyes were red rimmed from crying, just as mine were. I hadn't decided to change so I was still in my silk pajama bottoms and black tank top that fit tightly to my bodice, if I were a student, I probably would have been called for the dress code. I'd thrown my hair up into a bun and I was still wearing Etienne's necklace, it comforted me and I promised myself that I would never take it off.

"You might not get answers," I said picking up a piece of fruit with the fork that was at the side of the plate and sticking it in my mouth.

"Why are you here instead of out in the world looking for him?" Mikhail asked, taking a long drink out of a huge water bottle that one of the staff had given us, obviously seeing how heartbroken we were.

I took the bottle from him and took a sip of my own before I answered, "Because I ran into Blake and Tory and I needed to keep them safe and this is free of charge and I'm a guardian now. What more could I want?"

"Privacy?" he asked with raised eyebrows before he dove in, taking the fork out of my hand and stuffing salad into his mouth.

I inclined my head. "But I couldn't let Blake and Tory kill themselves,"

"Blake's a dhampir; he should be able to take care of himself,"

I shook my head again. "They dropped out of their academy and Blake hadn't been training."

Mikhail looked up at me, eyebrows raised. "Remind you of someone?"

"At least I had a reason," I shot back at him, putting a fry in my mouth.

He set down his fork and looked at me. "And what was it?"

"Lissa wasn't comfortable, she was scared so I needed to take her away. It wasn't safe for her there anymore." I shrugged easily and put another fry in my mouth.

"That simple, huh? You didn't think of telling anyone that she wasn't safe?" Mikhail asked.

"You missed me so much?" I countered, ignoring his questions.

"It definitely wasn't as interesting without you," he said and I grinned.

"Nothing ever is,"

We ate in a compatible silence for a while until Mikhail said very quietly, "Are you okay about Alexander?"

"You really shouldn't worry about me." I rolled my eyes and set down the fork I'd taken from him. "I've told you before: I can take care of myself."

"You know," he said thoughtfully. "Some people put up walls to see who cares enough to tear them down."

"You sound like Adrian," I said, smiling a bit.

"Oh, a new object of your affection?" Mikhail asked in surprise. "I saw the little scene at the landing strip but I thought you were doing the 'how to get over a guy is to get another' thing."

I smirked. "You totally edited that, it's 'the best way to get over a guy is to get under one,' stupid,"

"Well, I like to think I'm somewhat polite." He said loftily, raising his chin.

"You don't need to pretend in certain company," I reminded him as I stole the fork and got some salad.

"I wasn't done," he pouted so I turned the fork towards him and he cleaned it off. "Thanks,"

I rolled my eyes. "You eat like a cow," I said as I got my own fork of salad.

"I'm not fat!" Mikhail protested and I laughed.

"I didn't say that, I just said that you eat like you have five stomachs,"

"It's four, idiot," he shoved me across the table and I shoved him back. "Don't make me pour this water all over you."

I grinned. "Try it," he began to lift the bottle but I distracted him with a fork full of fries that he blissfully closed in on. I fed it to him and I laughed. "Don't, Mikhail," I warned. "You'll ruin my pajamas,"

He rolled his eyes and continued eating. "What's your favorite colour?" he asked.

"What?"

"We're going to play a little game,"

"Twenty questions?"

"No, one for one," he said primly. "I ask something then you ask something and you have to answer every question. So what's your favorite colour?"

"Red," I answered. "What's yours?"

"Green," he looked at me thoughtfully and I was thinking that I was going to regret answering his next question. "Would you marry me?"

I blinked and lowered my voice. "Are you purposing to me?"

"No," he said with a serious face. "I'm just asking, all things aside, would you marry me?" I blinked. "You have to answer."

"Uh, no, I don't think so; you're more like a brother or best friend." I said, still flustered.

"Hmm," Mikhail mused. "I feel the same way about you; ask your question."

I stared at him stunned and then I laughed. "You are almost as strange as me,"

"No where near,"

I laughed again. "If you could have an awesome sports car, which one would you have?"

"A Ferrari or maybe a Porsche," he added thoughtfully.

"Then you suck," I laughed.

"Why?" he asked with confusion.

"Because I have a Ferrari," I announced happily as I watched his facial expression.

"You're kidding!" he exclaimed.

"Nope,"

"How?"

"Not telling," I smiled secretively.

"Can I see it?" he asked excitedly leaning across the table towards me. I saw the fanaticism in his eyes, like a kid in a candy store.

"Not right now, let's eat and talk. Ask your question."

Still railed about my Ferrari, he blinked and tried to conjure a good question. Running a hand through his hair, he let out a heavy breath. "What do you think of Dereck Hays?" he asked, knowing it would be a hard question.

I sighed and leaned back. "Well…he's a lot like me, I guess. He's really fun to be around actually, but more straight-forward about certain things than I am. He likes a challenge; he's really determined and very fierce. He's going to be deadly one day, I guarantee it."

"With your training," Mikhail added with a knowing smile.

"Of course," I said flippantly, waving a hand. "So…how did you end up here?"

Mikhail's eyes went unfocused and he stared above my head. "I stayed in the forest for days, not eating, just staying with her body. Then a group of Strigoi came, I didn't do anything. They started beating me, just kicking and punching me, throwing me around. It was Alexander that came to my rescue, I guess he'd heard my screams and came running. He killed all the Strigoi and rushed me to the Academy. I was in the clinic for days. When I returned to health, he offered me a position here and how could I turn him down? I owe him my life."

I reached across the table and lightly touched the back of his hand with my fingers and he focused back on me, his eyes incredibly soft and warm. I could see him beginning to say something, but the bell ran, shattering the moment. I removed my hand as students began to flood into the cafeteria and we ate quietly.

"If you could travel anywhere in the world," Mikhail began. "Where would you go?"

I cocked my head to the side and pursed my lips. "Venice, Italy," I finally announced with a nod of my head.

"Is there a reason?"

"Because it's just so beautiful and…I've always wanted to go to a masquerade ball," I added shyly and Mikhail laughed kindly as he reached over my head to swat my bun.

"You're so cute, Rose," he sighed.

"Where would you go, Mikhail?" I asked and watched as his expression turned thoughtful.

Then he grinned wickedly, "Down under, mate!" he said with an Australian accent that I had to laugh at. But before I could say anything someone poked me in the sides and sat down beside me.

"Hey, Rose," Leo said as he grinned at me.

I messed up his hair. "Hey, we haven't talked in a while,"

"You don't think I've noticed?" he acted offended now and I laughed quietly.

"Shove an ass," someone said and Dereck plopped himself down beside me, pushing Leo over. "Hey, Rose," he smiled.

"You just interrupted our conversation," I greeted him and he took in the rest of my appearance.

"Rosie!" Jane cheered, bouncing to my side and pecking my cheek. I smiled gently at her, glad to see that she was getting over the Riley incident. "Guess what, Rosie."

"What?" I asked.

"I am not going out with Riley anymore. I totally broke it off. I figured that he obviously did do it and that I couldn't date someone who was such an asshole, much less someone who could do that to one of my friends."

My mouth fell open slightly and I stared at her in shock. "Wow…good for you!" I exclaimed. "That's a really good thing, Jane; I'm glad."

She smiled to herself, "Me too,"

Julian squeezed himself on my other side so I moved over, not caring whether I bumped Dereck or not. Tristin pulled in on the end beside Leo and Laura slid in beside Mikhail; beside her was Tommy, then Carter. I smiled at them both, but my attention was called when someone said my name.

It was Jane. "Rose? Have you been crying?" she asked and I cast my eyes down instantly.

"Of course not," I mumbled.

"You weren't at practice this morning," Dereck said quietly.

"I was hung-over," I said truthfully.

"But a lot of people told me you were running across campus,"

I was saved by someone unexpected. "Hathaway," I turned to see Matt, the guardian who was much too intense last night, standing behind me. He looked better than he did when I last saw him. He was dressed in a leather coat with a large collar and he was wearing the guardian official black slacks. His blond hair fell on either side of his face, framing his green eyes that I hadn't noticed before. "Do you know where Guardian Contrive is? I need to speak with him."

"Guardian Contrive has taken a few days off for personal reasons, he left me in charge." I informed him and I watched his eyes widen in surprise.

"Well, I guess I have to talk with you, if you're free at the moment?" it surprised me and I did a double take. Everyone seemed to be surprising me lately.

"Of course," I said as I pulled myself from the table. "I'll be back soon," I said over my shoulder before I followed Matt out. "What's up?"

He sighed and I held the door open for him as we left the commons. "Well…I actually wanted to talk to Alexander about you." He admitted and I looked at him in confusion as I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to create some protection against the cold weather. He seemed to notice this factor and he quickly shed his coat.

I smiled and let him help me into it; I stuffed my hands in the pockets and looked at him carefully. "Okay…what did you want to talk to me about? Or talk about me about?"

He looked amused, but ashamed at the same time. He angled his face towards the ground and didn't say anything for a long minute. His hair was blowing in the breeze and I took the time to notice that he was wearing a nicely fitting thermal. "I wanted to ask him if he knew anything about what you said last night," he finally muttered and I raised my eyebrows.

Sighing, I looked down at the snow, so white and pure. Suddenly, the blood-spattered vision snapped before my eyes. I brushed it away for later and focused back on Matt. "Well, you see…that's a complicated question and probably invalid because I was drunk. But what are you referring to?"

He looked at me in surprise as he said, "When I was yelling at you, I said that you didn't know how it felt to loose someone and it was obvious that you hadn't lost anyone. Then I asked you who you'd lost and you said 'more people than you care to know about'. I was thinking that maybe I was wrong last night, that maybe you knew more than I was giving you credit for."

I pressed my lips together. "Yeah, I have lost people and I really don't like talking about it. But I guess if you're trying to apologize, I forgive you. It wasn't even that bad, considering. I've done worse myself," I grinned impishly to receive a small smirk from Matt.

"That doesn't surprise me,"

"It shouldn't," I grinned at him and he held out his hand.

"Say truce and we put that little fiasco behind?" I took his hand and we shook once.

"Agreed," I bid him a good day, returned his coat and went back into the cafeteria to see Mikhail with his hands on his ears, eyes closed and chin raised defiantly. Everyone became quiet when I was within hearing range and I ignored then as I looked Mikhail until he opened his eyes.

"Rose!" he exclaimed, pulling his hands from his ears. "They're trying to interrogate me about you!" he said like a little child and I smiled slightly as I retook my seat in between Dereck and Julian.

"What are you harassing him about now?" I asked the group and they all averted their eyes, all except for Jane. I guess dumping Riley had given her some new confidence.

"We wanted to know what's wrong with you," she said easily, meeting my gaze steadily. "Some people really do care about you, Rosie, more than you think." I think I imagined the way her eyes flicked towards Dereck. Though, even if I did, I thought I detected some jealously in there. Uh-oh, I thought. I feel TROUBLE.

Ignoring my thoughts, I shrugged and said, "I would never have guessed," I picked up a fry from the plate and met her eyes. "Enlighten me, what were you so concerned about that you had to involve someone else in?"

Her brow went together as she tried to decipher my tone and words; I smirked down at the table. I folded my hand, lacing my fingers together as I waited for an answer. Finally, Leo said, "We wanted to know why you looked the way you do,"

I laughed, surprising everyone, Mikhail included. "Do you really want to know?" I asked, grinning wickedly. I'm kicking into Insane, I thought. They nodded. "Okay, here's one: the guy I was dating, we were talking and then this girl shows up and says that the two of them were engaged and then, this is the best part; he nods and leaves with her, hardly any words to me. Funny, right?"

"Rose," Mikhail said in a warning voice, though I cut him a look that could kill and he shut up.

"Oh, Rosie, I'm so sorry," Jane whispered.

I waved my hand dismissively; I felt like I was too still, I needed to move around and as I pulled myself up from my seat, I spotted someone across the cafeteria. Riley Zeklos. I hadn't known that they'd let him out. I grinned devilishly and walked across to where he was sitting with two others, a boy and a girl. I ignored them and went right in for the kill.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Zeklos," I said politely as I sat across from him.

He looked shocked, but he covered well. "Good afternoon, Guardian Hathaway. I'm surprised to see you over here and dressed so," he added slyly gesturing to my attire.

"Not one of my best mornings," I smiled coldly. "So how are you doing?"

"What do you mean?" he asked innocently.

"Have you been conducting any other secret meetings that involve beating others up with magic? If you are, I must inform you that if you try that again, you will be endangering your life."

Now, he leaded forward with interest flickering in his eyes. "Because bad magic will wear down the good magic of the wards? I'd heard rumors about that, but I never believed them because the wards are so strong,"

I cocked my head to the side and made my voice angelic as I said, "I wasn't talking about the wards." I smiled as I saw my threat click in. I watched his jaw set and his eyes harden.

"I could report you for threatening me," he hissed.

I pulled up from the table and smiled again. "I have no idea what you are talking about."

Turning on my heel, I walked out of the cafeteria with a smile on my face.

8*8*8*8*8*8

I found myself at the indoor shooting practices. It unnerved me slightly because of Mikhail's story about Ms. Karp, but, nevertheless, I was there and I didn't make plans on running out. But first, I texted Alexander:

Hey, don't mess things up with your fiancé over me, okay? It wasn't a question. Don't worry about me. :P

That should do some good, if anything, it should confuse him and he would go get married in that hour. Within seconds, I received a reply.

Rose. Are you sure? You are ready to throw away what we had?

I thought for a long moment before I slowly typed my response.

I do not know what you are talking about. We didn't have anything.