CHAPTER THIRTY NINE – IT'S ALL SO SLOW

My dear, dear readers. I am so sorry I haven't updated in SO long. My perception of time is so twisted and it's been since August? June? That I've last updated. It seems like FOREVER. Scratch that. ETERNITIES that I've not updated. I am truly sorry, please don't kill me. I was reacently talking with someone and they've said a few things that change my prospective on many things. I will be finishing this story and I will be trying to update weekly. I am truly sorry if some of you have given up on me, but I know that I deserve that. This is a slow, small chapter and it's kind of a promise for more, better things to come and it's rather an apology as well. I am so sorry, please read and enjoy.

I woke up to my computer pinging.

Annoyed, I groggily lifted my head and peered to see what it was doing. There was a conversation up from Dereck Hays:

D: get up

D: get up

D: get up

D: get up

D: get up

D: now

D: get the fuck up

D: hurry up

D: why are you such a heavy sleeper?

D: get up

D: GET UP

D: ROSE GODDAMNIT!

It said he was typing so I reached over and one handedly typed: Fuck off.

D: you're awake. Were you ignoring me?

R: no jackass I just woke up.

Then I signed out so I wouldn't get his messages anymore. I slipped off my bed and trudged to the Guardian bathroom. I splashed cold water on my face and looked into the mirror at my reflection. I wasn't looking so hot.

There were dark purple-blue bags under my eyes from restless sleep plagued by nightmares; my hair was a mess and it was starting to get greasy at the roots; I was ghostly pale and you could see my veins through my skin in places, especially at my throat. Thinking of the way Dimitri had bitten into my skin and drunk my blood; I shivered and continued my scrutiny of myself. I was beginning to look thinner from the lack of food I'd been consuming and my clothes looked a touch baggy. I sighed in irritation directed at myself.

It's over now, just get over yourself, I thought harshly. I can't…another part of me responded. I closed my eyes for a moment and whispered, "In time, remember but forget," I sighed and left to get ready for the field experience.

In my room, I pulled on black sweats and a long sleeved black shirt that was easy enough to fight in. I threw my hair up into a messy bun and left with no makeup on. There was no reason to look good for anyone now.

I ran into Mikhail, who was grabbing a coffee in the Guardian building; again. Mikhail and his coffee, I thought in amusement as I poked him from behind. He jumped and turned to me with a yelp as he spilled coffee down the front of his pants.

I quirked an eyebrow in amusement, "Mikhail, how many times have I told you to use the bathroom?"

"Oh, stuff it, Hathaway," he grumbled as he snatched a napkin to dab the front of his pants. "Look at what you've done," he suddenly stopped and looked up at me from under the brown hair hanging in front of his eyes. "Since this is your fault…you could clean it up…" he smirked and held out the napkin to me.

I looked at him blankly and slowly bent over, retrieving the napkin. "Sure thing," I said sweetly and his eyes widened in shock and then a happy grin spread across his face. I smirked to myself and roughly pushed the napkin on his crotch. He jerked back in surprise and I hit him a few more times before he practically ran backwards saying that he could clean up himself. "Good," I smiled at him and turned to go. "Have a nice day, Mikhail," I called over my shoulder as I exited the building.

I spotted Alexander speaking with three other guardians. I jogged over and looked at the scene playing out before me; Alexander looked a little annoyed, one of the male guardians he was talking to was really beat up with a bloody nose that looked broken and cuts and scrapes all over him. The other male guardian just looked bored out of his mind and the female guardian stood a little back with her arms crossed looking on in amusement.

I walked up beside Alexander and elbowed him. "What's going on?" I asked and everyone's gazes landed on me. "Hmm, it was only a question…" I muttered under my breath and looked away.

Alexander chuckled and looked over to the bloody guardian. "He's getting beat up pretty badly, he thinks he has a broken nose and wants to clean up before his next fight, which is…right now."

I brightened. "No problem, so I'll just go in for him,"

The other male guardian laughed and said, "Alright, two hot ladies fighting beside me, score!" I laughed with the other female guardian and looked at Alexander for the okay.

He nodded and ruffled my hair. "Go on, Hathaway, have fun."

I laughed a thank you and turned to my new fighting partners. "So…who are we going for?"

"We're on Ashley Lawson and George Arlington," the male guardian told me. Great, so no one I know…I thought sarcastically. No fun.

"And you guys are?" I prompted.

"I am Lena and this is Jayden," said the female guardian, Lena. She was very pretty with long brown waves tied up into a pony tail and bright blue eyes taking in everything around her with avid interest.

I nodded at them. "Rose Hathaway," I extended a hand and they laughed. "What?" I asked with confusion.

Lena smiled and shook my hand, still giggling. "I'm pretty sure everyone knows who you are,"

"Of course they do, if they don't, they're surely living in a whole." Jayden added; he looked thoughtful for a moment before saying, "Nah, even then they would've heard of you."

I looked away in a slight embarrassment. "I suppose so," I laughed a little uncomfortably.

Jayden seemed to notice something was wrong and he chucked me lightly under the chin, turning my face up. "Don't be ashamed, you're as famous as Arthur Schoenberg, may he rest in peace."

I lowered my head for a moment, in memory of the great guardian Arthur Schoenberg was and in sadness for the scene I'd witnessed with Dimitri. God, I missed him. Before my silence became too long, I forced a smile onto my face and looked up at Jayden. "That means a lot to me, thank you,"

He shrugged. "Simply stating the truth," he looked out through the trees and then back at me and Lena. "Now, the tactic, I'm thinking Lena goes in from the side, I wait three seconds and come from the back at an angle then Rose waits ten seconds and comes in from the opposite side. Yes or no?"

I looked at him quizzically. "How am I supposed to come in from the other side without cutting in front of them and being seen?"

He smirked at me. "Hathaway, I'm sure you can figure it out, it isn't that hard compared to some of the things you've done."

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "I'm fine with it,"

"Agreed, take position," Lena said firmly, shifting into Guardian mode. She and Jayden got into their spots in between trees and bushes only a few feet away. I had to travel to the other side of the quad and attack very quickly without being seen. I glanced around, trying to find the most direct and discreet route to the other side of the path that I could take. There weren't very many options. I sighed in frustration as my knee started bouncing as my time frame became more limited. I could see Lena preparing to strike in only a matter of seconds; when she attacked, I'd have about fifteen seconds to stage my advance on the two novices.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Lena jump from the cover of the vegetation. Shit, I thought. I only had a few seconds now. I decided to take a long route and to sprint in a long circuit around the quad. I turned around and booked it through the trees and around the Moroi dorms. I stuck close to the side of the building as I counted. 2…3…4…5 I turned the last corner on the building and had to jump a bush and pulled a roll as I landed. I finished in a kneeling position at the corner of the building. I observed the fight as I was waiting out the remainder of my time. 8…9…10…GO.

I sprang from the building side and ducked through the crowd of novices that gathered to watch the fight. Ashley had her Moroi behind her as she squared off with Lena and George was throwing kicks at Jayden, his Moroi also behind him. The two Moroi, both girls stood together clutching at each other's clothing, watching their protectors fight for them. They actually looked terrified. This should cause a little problem, I thought as I pounced on the two undefended Moroi. One of them had seen me coming and screamed bloody murder. It was so loud that it hurt my ears.

"Damn, lady," I muttered as I grabbed her by the waist with one arm and I got a hold of the other's forearm.

Both George and Ashley turned on me, looking incredulous as they saw what was happening. Ashley ran at me, throwing her foot up, trying to catch me in the head but I quickly ducked, having to pull the Moroi down with me. I quickly put my face to her neck and one of the guardians called a stop to it.

I got up and offered a hand to the Moroi, who was still quite shaken up. Jayden looked at the two panting novices in amusement. "You both did considerably well, save for the part about nearly pissing your pants when Guardian Hathaway showed up." Both the novices looked at us sheepishly as Jayden continued. "Though, we can't hold that against you, in retrospect, Hathaway is a hard one." The spectators all laughed. This was an understatement. I cracked a smirk and Jayden elbowed me. He quickly finished up his speech as the crowd dispersed and I was given the rest of the day off. Boring.

Watching others participate in the field experience was boring and rather depressing. I had been there only a short time ago, focused on things as little as a field experience; I had real field experience now. I wasn't fighting Guardians anymore; I was fighting the real threat, the real Strigoi and the real world. I sighed and made my way to my room. I trudged up the steps in the Guardian building up to my room. I gloomily ignored people when they greeted me or tried to speak with me. Reaching the door of my room, I slowly pushed it open and closed it behind me.

I didn't understand why I was so sluggish, this was unlike me. I was upbeat, sarcastic, quick, sick-minded and with a twisted sense of humor. I wasn't this thing I seemed to be now. It was almost as if I was dying, everything seemed so slow, so mellow and depressing, I wonder why?

I was so tired…I needed to sleep…

With that I curled up in my bed and drifted off with terrifying thoughts dancing at the edge of my mind…

Ooooookay. So...that was a short awful chapter and I do know how infuriating these are, I do read stories to. ^_^ Please review and tell me what you think and remember I will be finishing this story. If any of you read my other stories, know that I am planning on completing those as well.

Review please and let me know your thoughts, flames welcome

~ xoxo Alice

Love you all incredibly and I thank you for your unbelievable support. 3