. . . . .
Renee hadn't set foot in Forks since she walked out on Charlie all those years ago. So when she showed up on our front step that Sunday morning, it took me a moment to reconcile the face I saw in front of me and the place where we stood.
"M-Mom?"
I flung myself into her arms, and we both struggled to stay standing.
Her laughter echoed in my ears, and I held on for dear life.
"Bella! I thought you'd be surprised!"
"What are you doing here? I thought—I didn't think you'd ever come back here."
"Well, I'm not moving in or anything, so don't get too excited," she giggled and swayed me back and forth in her arms. "Phil had a game in Seattle this weekend, and Charlie and I thought it might make sense for me to come and visit since I was going to be so close. I never get to see my own daughter, for crying out loud."
I backed up and she kissed my cheeks. I wasn't sure if I should give her a tour or not—this used to be her house, after all.
I settled for giving her a quick tour of my room. She admired my photos, poured over my overflowing bulletin board and sat on the edge of my bed. It was so weird to have her here.
"So, this is where the magic happens?" She laughed and I blushed slightly, grateful for the dimming light. I knew what she meant—homework, life—but all I could picture was me and Edward curled up on the bed… and me and Jacob kissing by the window.
. . . . .
Charlie and Renee thought it would be a good idea to go out for dinner rather than eat in, since I was the cook in the family and they didn't want to make more work for me.
I was grateful for the break as we filed into the small café in downtown Forks.
I'd convinced them to let me invite Edward so Renee could spend some time with him, and even though he'd lightly objected at first, citing the fact that he didn't eat, he'd acquiesced and was walking with me hand-in-hand.
They'd reserved the large booth for us, and we slid in—Charlie, Renee, me, Edward. It almost seemed like old times, except for the tall boy next to me. I squeezed his hand and he pulled me closer.
Charlie flagged down the waitress and told her we'd need settings for six.
My ears perked up. "Six?"
Charlie nodded at me just as Billy Black wheeled through the café door, Jake giving his chair a boost over the threshold.
"Billy and Renee used to be friends back in the day," he told me. "I thought they might want to catch up a little."
I felt Edward stiffen beside me. Jacob's nose flared, but he smiled at us and waved as if nothing was wrong.
Renee kicked me under the table, then leaned in and whispered a little too loudly.
"He's gorgeous! Bella! I thought that was just a really good picture!"
She slapped at my arm lightly, and I nervously shrugged it off. I knew Edward had heard her, but he didn't acknowledge it.
Charlie waved and called out to them. "Billy! Jake! Welcome. We saved a couple of seats for you."
"Well, I appreciate the gesture, but I brought my own." Billy laughed and pulled his chair up next to Charlie at the front of the table; the two of them mock-punched each other's shoulders. Jake nervously eyed the open seat next to Edward.
Instead, Renee nudged me over and patted the seat between us.
"I haven't seen you since you were two, Jacob. Crawl over here and sit by me!"
She giggled like a schoolgirl and I winced, remembering her giddy reaction during the slideshow at her house. I was worried about what she'd say, and I was suddenly sorry I had confided in her about my conundrum. She wasn't exactly a good secret keeper, I'd just never expected her to show up here where she could blow my cover.
Edward stepped out of his seat to let Jacob past, seemingly relieved that he wouldn't have to sit by him during dinner. I pushed back into the booth bench as Jacob climbed over me and plopped down next to my mom, her arms around him like he was an old friend. I listened to her giggling and squealing, and blushed for her when I noticed that her left hand stayed on his bicep. My mother, the perpetual teenager.
Jacob's thigh was burning mine through my jeans. I couldn't be sure he was making our legs touch on purpose, but he certainly wasn't making any effort not to. On my left side, Edward's leg was pressing into mine, leaving me half-hot, half-cold.
Trapped between them mentally and physically, I tried to ignore my pounding heart and eat my veggie burger.
Edward was shuffling his food around on his plate so it wasn't obvious that he wasn't eating. Jacob had finished his plate and was making no secret of stealing French fries off of mine. I briefly thought about trying to switch their plates, but knew I couldn't do it sneakily enough.
I watched my mom, Charlie and Billy laughing and sharing stories. The awkwardness was gone, and I was thankful that my parents got along so well despite their difficult past.
It gave me hope for whatever decision I was going to have to make in the future. If my parents could be friends after all the drama they'd been through, I could certainly stay friends with Jacob. Or Edward. I shook my head to clear the idea, and reminded myself that I'd made up my mind.
"So, Edward. Have you chosen a college yet?"
Renee's eyes lit up and she reached across Jacob's broad shoulders to pat my back.
"Well, I've submitted applications to several universities, but I haven't heard back yet."
"Oh, well, where have you applied?"
"Um, Harvard and Yale are my top choices, but I've also applied to several specialty schools in a few different fields I'm considering."
"Oh!" Renee lamely tried to hide her surprise. "Well, your parents must certainly be proud. I imagine you must be doing very well in school to even consider those universities."
"I do ok. I must admit that it's a little challenging this year—Bella is a bit distracting."
Renee giggled. Jacob rolled his eyes.
I blushed furiously and stared at Edward, agape. He chuckled and squeezed my knee under the table.
"So, do you three hang out together often?" Renee's question was answered by uncomfortable silence. Even Charlie and Billy stopped their joking to listen for our answer. Both Edward and Jacob turned in their seats to look at me. I gulped.
"Uh, sure. Sometimes. But, um, Jacob goes to a different school. So… just… sometimes."
"Oh, I get it." Renee nodded and winked at me. I widened my eyes at her, trying to warn her to stop, but sure she wouldn't get the message.
Was she trying to embarrass me?
And it would only get worse.
"Well, Jacob. Any love interests at your school?"
He chuckled and pressed his knee into mine. I tried to move my leg, but I was wedged between him and Edward and couldn't get away.
"Naw. I don't have time for that kind of stuff. You heard Edward—girls are distracting. My grades are bad enough that I shouldn't look for more distractions."
Renee laughed, then elbowed him slyly. "I'm sure there's someone special on your radar."
"Well, I won't lie. There is someone. But she's sort of… taken. For now."
Edward cleared his throat and put his arm around me. I didn't object, and instead shot a glare at Jacob. He winked and smiled smugly at me before turning back to my mom.
"Classy, Jake," I muttered warningly under my breath, knowing he could hear.
He reached under the table and squeezed my knee, teasing. I grabbed a tiny piece of skin on his forearm and pinched, twisting the finger-full of skin until he pulled his arm back to safety.
Then, just in time, Charlie and Billy started reminiscing about something that had happened one summer when they were young, and Renee's attention was diverted. I was left to pretend the last ten minutes hadn't happened. Jake and Edward glared at each other past me, and I could hear each of them lightly rumbling. I rolled my eyes and worked on finishing my last few bites of burger. It tasted like cardboard.
"Well, thanks, you guys, for coming out to visit," Charlie rose from the booth and helped push Billy out the door. Renee followed; and Jake, Edward and I lingered until last. Edward pulled my hand into his jealously, and Jacob intentionally stood a little too close for comfort.
At the car, Renee leaned down to hug Billy and gave Jacob a kiss on the cheek.
"Take care of my girl," she smiled, winking.
Jacob nodded and looked past her to me. "Always will."
After they'd pulled away, Charlie invited Edward over to our house to talk with us a while, but he made an excuse about having to get home to help Esme with something. I knew he was just worried about playing an impromptu game of 20-questions with my mom. He'd dodged the college question easily enough, but leave it to Renee to come up with something harder to deflect.
Instead, he shook Billy's hand, hugged Renee and kissed me on the forehead before getting into his car.
I waved to him as he drove away, but I wasn't sure he saw me.
. . . . .
The next morning, I opened my eyes to the sound of laughter in the kitchen.
Renee, Charlie and… was that Jacob?
I sat up, wiped the sleep out of my eyes and threw on something clean. I pulled my hair into a ponytail, hoping it wasn't obvious I hadn't yet washed it, and powdered my nose before running down the stairs.
Sure enough, my parents and Jacob were sitting around the kitchen table. Renee and Charlie had coffee mugs in hand, Jacob was drinking a tall glass of milk. They were snacking on chocolate muffins from the local grocery store. Renee was giggling wildly about something, and Charlie was patting Jacob on the back.
I felt like I'd walked into a made-for-Bella episode of The Twilight Zone.
I stood in the doorway for a minute before anyone noticed me. Then Renee jumped up, bowling me over with a huge hug.
"Honey! Jacob was just telling us about the time you and his friends were on the beach and the big wave practically pulled you out to sea." She snorted a little, and I saw Jacob grinning widely behind her. "It's a good thing he's around to protect you!"
"Wow. Thanks, Black." I threw Jacob a glance, and he chuckled. "No secret's safe with you, huh?"
"Your mom misses so many of your exciting experiences, living so far away." He grinned innocently, and then not-so-innocently raised his eyebrows at me. I blushed a shade darker.
"Um, yeah. I was kind of hoping she could forget what a threat I am to myself …" I laughed along, gamely. If they were all going to make fun of me, the least I could do was go along with it.
Jacob popped up from his chair and slid over next to Renee, leaving an open seat for me. He patted the back of it. I filled a mug with coffee, added a splash of milk and sat down.
Jacob asked Renee about Jacksonville, and I watched the three of them while she regaled us with stories about her new life, traveling with Phil and living in a place where the sun actually shone.
It warmed me to see just how well Jake fit in with my entire family. How simple it was for him to just blend into my life. Which reminded me once again that, no matter how hard he tried, Edward would never be able to be part of our family. And if I chose him, neither would I.
I hadn't thought about it in such concrete terms before, and the sudden realization made me sad. If I chose Jake, this would be my life. Visiting Renee, sitting down to coffee with Charlie. Dinners with family. Family vacations and joyful reunions. Relationships that I'd always had, still a part of my life.
If I chose Edward, if I stuck to the path I was on, I'd have none of this.
As if on cue, Jacob stretched out his long legs and tucked his right leg under mine, pressing his shin to my calf. I looked at him and he winked at me, sending a flurry of butterflies ricocheting around in my stomach.
. . . . .
After Jacob had left and Charlie had gone to work, Renee and I reclined on a blanket in the backyard. It was a rare sunny day, so we were making the most of it. She was leaving later that evening for Seattle so she could fly back to Jacksonville with Phil.
"You're different with him, you know?" She peered over at me
"Him?" I kept my eyes closed to the sun, willing the conversation to be over.
"Jake."
"Oh." Could I dare hope this is where it would end?
"Yes. I've seen you with Edward on two different occasions, and twice now with Jake, and you seem to be a lot happier—a lot more you—with Jake. Care to confirm if I'm correct?"
I stayed quiet, pretending to be asleep. She wouldn't give up, and poked me mercilessly until I gave up trying to ignore her.
"Well, he brings out the good in me. He makes me happy. So, no, you're not wrong. But Edward is my boyfriend. What Jake and I have is different."
Renee nodded slowly, and I could tell she wasn't convinced.
I sighed and rolled over on the blanket, burying my face in the soft folds of fabric.
"Fine. I'm in love with them both." My words were muffled. Not muffled enough. I rushed through the rest of my thought. "I can't decide which one I want to be with. But I'm leaning toward Jake."
Saying that out loud was easier than I'd expected, and I sat up again to face Renee. She was grinning.
"I could tell."
"You could tell? How?" I was confused and a little frustrated. Why was I the last one to know what I was feeling? I stuttered, grasping for the right words. "I mean, I just came to that conclusion right now. How could you tell if I didn't even know?"
"Mother's intuition?" She winked. "Well, maybe just that you light up around Jake. You're so serious with Edward; maybe too serious. Like you're expecting something to happen all the time. With Jake, you laugh. You tease. You come alive."
. . . . .