CHAPTER FOURTY TWO – LOVE STRUCK
Alexander Contrive
I sat across the long table and eyed Rose who was sitting in the seat the furthest away from me. I saw the secret smiles that she exchanged with Mikhail. I saw the way her eyelashes flickered seductively at him and the way she flipped her hair. I saw the way he shifted his weight anxious for the meeting to be over, I watched his lust-darkened eyes taking in every part of her.
And I couldn't help but wonder just how much his eyes had taken in.
I didn't want to think about it but it was the only thing on my mind. I'd left Diana, in the hopes of running back into Rose's embrace. But I'd lost both of them, two beautiful women and such strong souls. Both exquisite and I had proved to be so undeserving of either of them. But even know, when I knew I didn't deserve her, I couldn't restrain the shot of envy that ran through me as I watched their little game right before my eyes. I couldn't keep my anger from rising when I heard Guardians and novices alike talking about her with lustful words and desiring eyes. There was nothing else I could do. Everyone worshipped the ground she walked on…just as I did.
"Guardian Hathaway," I called to her, unable to stand it anymore. I just hand to get in the way. Call me a cock-block but what else could I do? I wasn't simply going to observe as others seemed content to do. "Do you have anything you'd like to add?"
She looked at me with wide, innocent eyes. From my experience with her, I knew that Rosemarie Hathaway was far from innocent. She cocked her head to the side and smiled slightly at me. I forced myself not to let my eyes follow the movement of her hair or watch the smooth curve of her bare neck. She was looking especially good today in a pair of black skin tight jeans and a button down red silk shirt. She had let her hair dry is soft rolling waves down her back and left her face vacant of make up. She was also sporting slick black runners and a lacy black tank top underneath the silk shirt. There was no point in forcing her to obey the Guardian dress policy because we all knew she wouldn't and in all honesty, I didn't want her to. I enjoyed the show too much.
"Well…I think that maybe the Guardians could get more involved," Rose said and I blinked at her.
"How would you suggest we do that?" I inquired, leaning forward on my elbows.
She shrugged and righted her head. "We could merge with the novices more, let loose a bit at the appropriate times…blend with them, let them know that they can still be humans when they graduate." Seeing the looks of some of the Guardians, she went on flippantly. "Hey now, don't you look at me like that. I know more than anyone that life isn't a game and that yes, you do need to be serious to an extent. But we need to show the novices that they don't always have to be made of stone, perfect slabs of emotionless defenders even if it's what the Moroi want. Honestly, I think that the Moroi would be more comfortable with their Guardians if they acted more like people, were more sociable and easier to communicate with. An event such as this, the celebration of their graduation…that's a big thing for them that they only get to experience once. I didn't get to have a graduation, but ever since I was little, I always imagined going out in a flash, a huge party with all my friends and all those Guardians that I'd grown up looking up to and training with. I think we should gift them with the same thing that I and every other dhampir have fantasized. We could make this a dream come true for them,"
Her speech was answered with silence. Then Ivan said, "My lord, Hathaway, who knew you had such a feminine side to that reckless killing machine you are!" the Guardians rumbled with laughter and Rose joined in, good spirited as always.
Shrugging, she shot him a grin. "Don't try telling me that the little girl isn't just dying to bang her way out of that closet, man," and the laughter rose with each volleying joke and shot that was given and received. Soon the banter ended after I brought them to order after Mikhail had said something a little too suggestive for my liking.
"Let's focus here," I said sharply and they quieted, turning to me for guidance. "Who all is in favour of Hathaway's idea?" All hands rose and chuckles were passed around. It was unanimous. "So it's settled, we will relax and let loose a bit to make this a big deal for our novices." Everyone looked pleased and I was proud of Rose, not for the first time. "Alright then, dismissed,"
As they exited the room, I remained seated and watched them all leave. I did not miss how Mikhail made a beeline for Rose. It irked me in a way nothing else could. By god, couldn't that man find something else to do with his time? He didn't have to dote on her twenty four seven! That was simply ridiculous. Not that that wasn't what I was doing, but it was different when he did it. As he was nearing her, I stood and called, "Rose, a minute please,"
She looked over to me with a confused look on her face. Mikhail said something to her and she winked and began walking in my way with a smile gracing those gorgeous lips. I knew that that smile wasn't for me, not anymore, but a man could dream. "Yeah?" she asked casually, as if nothing had ever happened between us.
I clapped a hand down onto her shoulder and squeezed gently. "I'm glad you're here with us, Guardian Hathaway, your ideas are a breath of fresh air,"
She full out grinned at me. "Well, you know, I try," we laughed and I tried to ignore how my hand on her skin felt.
"Rose –" I began on impulse, but she cut me off.
"I'm sorry, Alexander, but I've got to run, but I'll see you later?"
Without waiting for me to respond, she took off out the door and I saw her tail of dark hair vanish up the stairs. I would always regret what happened between me and Rose…if I could ever be worthy of a woman like her god help me.
Mikhail Tanner
I paced my room impatiently, agitation in my mind. As if I could pretend to ignore every wistful glance Alexander shot in her direction. As if I could ignore how his eyes followed her every movement with a stalker-like obsession. I saw the way his dark eyes watched Rose with longing. I saw every wistful glance shot in her direction, every lustful gaze. I owed the man my life, but this wasn't something I was willing to give up for him. He'd let her down and hurt her and now he'd lost her. We all knew that he wasn't going to get her back.
Ever since Rose had arrived at the Siberian Academy, I'd been there for her. That person who was always at her back, ready to wrap myself around her and protect her from everything that threatened her was me. Not Alexander, who had lusted after her, had her and then betrayed her. I would never be one to treat Rose Hathaway like garbage as he had. She deserved so much better.
I couldn't say that she deserved me because I knew that she didn't. Rose was above me, even if she would never admit it. At this moment in time, Rose and I fit together and moved perfectly as one. We understood each other as two broken pieces put together making a whole. That was the only way I could honestly describe my relationship with Rose Hathaway. I knew, in my mind, that this might only be a fling or that there was a possibility that she may choose to stay with me. I wouldn't cheat myself into imagining that she would stay with me and I wouldn't depress myself by thinking of her leaving me. I would live in the moment with her. That's all I could do and there was nothing else that I'd wish for more.
I could only imagine what Alexander was saying to her right now. Spilling his heart out to her or maybe only reveling in her presence for a few brief moments? What else could he have to say to her? I knew he'd tried to apologize and she had told him that she accepted his apology, but all of us knew she was still hurt by it. She had trusted him and then found that that he had been engaged. I had suspected that they'd been involved but I brushed it off as a close friendship because I'd known that Alexander had been engaged to marry Diana. How he could have done that to both of them, I didn't know. They were both stunning woman. But if it came down to it, I would have chosen Rose over Diana too. Rose had so many qualities that beautiful but shallow Diana lacked.
I sighed and leaned against the window, gazing out into the dark night. I crossed my arms and let my breath out slowly onto the cool glass. Condensation formed on the window and I stared at it in wonder watching it slowly fade. Would my relationship with Rose become like that? Start off so strong in the beginning and then slowly fade and wither away? What would I do if it came to that? Did I truly care for Rose enough to be completely distraught if we broke it off? Were we even together and did I honestly have a right to claim her as my own?
Just then, the door to my room opened and shut behind me. I could almost feel the ripple in the atmosphere as the object of my affection and the only girl on my mind for weeks entered my room. I heard her make her way across the floor to stand behind me and I did not move. It took all my self-control not to shiver with delight as she wrapped her arms around my waist.
All my earlier thoughts of despair were slowly fading away, becoming a distant memory in her arms. I was still trying to clutch at those thoughts, so I wouldn't allow myself to get too close to her…
Every thought was lost as she pressed her lips just under my ear and whispered, "Wanna have some fun?"
Oh God, how I adored Rose Hathaway.
Dereck Hays
Jane wrapped her arms around me and cuddled into my chest. Almost unconsciously, I responded by curling my arms around her shoulders. We were in her room, in the Moroi dorm and coincidentally, on her bed.
"Do you like guarding me, Dereck?" she asked me in her quiet little voice as she made her head comfortable on my chest.
"Of course I do, you know that," I told her and she tightened her arms around me in contentment. I was a charmer and I wasn't afraid to admit it. I knew I had Jane Ivashkov wrapped around my finger but the last thing I wanted to do was hurt her. Those gorgeous locks of blond hair and sparkling pools of jade she possessed for eyes were only some of her amazing qualities. Like her amazing body…not to mention that ass…
Just kidding. I respected Jane…most of the time. Not that I was saying that she was unattractive, because she definitely is, it's just…I don't know. Whatever, as if I care to explain why Jane Ivashkov claims affection from me.
"I really like you, Dereck," she said slowly and I knew she was drifting off to sleep. "You're my protector…mine…"
"I really like you too," I said automatically.
"Really, do you?"
"Really, I do,"
"Good…" I felt her body go slack with sleep and I bit my lip in confusion. I had just told Jane that I really liked her…but why was I picturing Rose while I said it? Picturing Rose in my arms, Rose calling me hers and Rose being adorable with me? Damn, I am one sick bastard…poor Jane…part of me thought while the other said, poor you, man, you have to choose between Rose AND Jane…
But did I really have to choose? Two beautiful women and they were both always with me…did I have to choose one or the other? Come on, the stunning and frightening Rose Hathaway or the cute, timid but stubborn Jane Ivashkov, what would you choose?
You should choose not to choose. Exactly what I was going to do.
Contentment riddled through my body and I lazily let Jane snuggle into me. My like was so damn good.
Leo Walker
As I watched Tristan drink from the old male feeder, I pursed my lips. I wanted to be able to do that for her. I knew that it would impair me and if a situation came about where I had to protect her, that wouldn't be ideal at all. I wanted to give her everything that she needed and that I couldn't do this for her definitely rubbed me the wrong way, considering this was the one thing that she needed the most. I could give her love, protection, comfort, a shoulder to cry on, endless funds for shopping, but I couldn't sustain her with the only thing that she needed the most.
I found myself thinking about Rose and how she could help Tristan and I. Did she really know all that much about being shadow kissed? Did she know how to help us or would she try to turn us into a mental hospital? No, I knew Rose wouldn't do that. If anyone would have sympathy to others questioning a state of mind, it would be Rose. We all knew how many times we were unsure about her sanity.
Tristan pulled away from the feeder and kissed his cheek gently as he smiled with adoration. A shot of envy streaked through me but I pushed it away and smiled at my charge. We left the feeders' quarters and Tristan linked her arm with mine. It made me happier than I could explain.
I held faith in Rose, hope that she could help us and somehow find us a way to keep away the fits of insanity that threatened Tristan's mind. It was terrifying. What was worse was that I didn't know what to do. I hoped for Rose and I hoped for Tristan, most of all, I hoped for us.
Be our savior, Rose, please be the one who can stop this…
Rosemarie Hathaway
Lying in bed beside Mikhail, I watched his chest rise and fall with each even breath as he slept. His soft brown hair fell across his eyes and forehead in the most endearing fashion and his pink lips were parted slightly. Mikhail's arm was draped lightly around my waist, one of his legs in between my own. We twined together and it was hard to tell where one of us had begun the other ended. I remembered thinking the same thing of Dimitri, but this was a different. Mikhail and I were good for the moment and we were just enjoying what we could give to each other as we fought through this. No one knew what was in store for us. I wasn't sure I wanted to know either.
I gently brushed the hair away from his eyes and smiled to myself as he sighed in his sleep and moved closer to me, his arm tightening for a brief moment. He was so cute and so terribly sincere. Sometimes he was overprotective, but the way he did it just endeared me to him more.
Was I in love with Mikhail? No, I didn't think so, but I definitely had feelings for him. I adored him, that was for certain and I wasn't sure what I would do without him.
Well, there is no point in wallowing over what you don't know, I thought to myself and made a decision to live in the now, like I had before. Just let things run their own course and not attempt to control them. Que sera sera. What will be, will be.
His eyes fluttered open and he smile sexily up at me with hooded eyes.
Mikhail.