The next few weeks went by painfully slow. Before I knew it, I was 2 months pregnant and starting to show. It was nothing major, just a tiny bump, but in my mind it was driving me crazy. This little bump scared me to the point where I just couldn't even feel anything. My whole body just felt utterly numbed. I had no idea who to tell, what to do, or even how I was going to be able to support my child.

To be completely honest, abortion did cross my mind, but I would never be able to live with myself if I went through with that idea. This child, my child, was as much human as I was. Where was I to deny someone the right to live? Maybe my life is not always in the best place that it could be. I do, in fact, live in a pretty trashy neighborhood. And maybe I wouldn't be able to support the baby right all of the time, but it was still my baby and I planned on supporting and loving him/her even if that meant getting kicked out of my current home.

The issue that was nagging me the most though was who I should tell first. I wanted to do nothing more than to tell Angela, but I knew I couldn't. That girl never knew how to keep her mouth shut. Plus I was getting more and more pissed at her every day I get closer to telling her. Almost like I was beginning to start taking my anger out on her. I still knew this was not all her fault, but I could still hear her in my mind.

*Flashback*

"You should have lost your virginity ages ago," she hissed.

I had no words for how to respond to that, but 'luckily' she continued on anyways.

"You know in this town the only choice us girls have is when to lose our virginity. Other than that, we can't say much. We're expected to be dumb and loud. Sluts and drunks. The only dignity we have is choice. And I swear Cat, if you wait to long you may just very well loose yours."

Her words really did start to have an effect on me. She was right, I thought. More and more girls were beginning to say that they were being sexually violated. Obviously noone believed us anyways. Men were always favored more than females and it didn't help that I was from the East side either. Maybe I should lose my virginity... at least then I would know that I had the choice...

"Okay. Maybe you're right. I'll lose it soon, I promise. For now though can we just go to the Dingo?"

*End of Flashback*

I shivered at the memory. One stupid decision led me here. Two moths later.

I woke up the next morning having morning sickness. Although this wasn't uncommon and I had been suffering from nausea a lot these last couple of weeks, this was the first time that one of my brothers actually woke up. Sodapop came running in with messed up hair and wide eyes.

"Golly Cat. What happened? Are you okay? Do you want me to go fetch Darry?"

I backed up so that my back was against the bath tub while wiping my mouth with my arm.

"No. I'm ok. Must have been something I ate." I said in quiet voice trying to remain calm.

"Yeah ok. I'll go tell Darry that you should stay home from school today."

He started to exit the room.

"Soda?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

He just smiled and went to fetch Darry. I closed my eyes and wondered how long I would have before my secret was out.

Johnny. Sweet little Johnny. He could barely say a word to anyone in the gang after being beat up by some socs. Now, a little over a year later, he was still scared but was beginning to talk more again.

"Hey kitty" Johnny said taking me out of my daydream of Paul Newman as he slid down next to me. We were currently at the lot leaning against a tree watching the clouds. At least I was watching the clouds. Oh how I wish I could be a cloud. It must be so freeing to be able to drift away and not have any problems.

"Hey Johnny."

"So yano how a few weeks ago there was that incident with Dally? What exactly was that? I mean I don't mean to pry or anything but it's been nagging at me. Ya dig?" Johnny questioned.

I let out a breathe. Could I tell him?

"I dig. It's just been awkward between us for the last two months. I sort have did something stupid.." I took this time to look at Johnny who was looking at me with such innocent eyes. How could I tell him that I screwed up when he looked at me like that? His eyes watched me in respect. Would telling him that I messed up make him lose that respect?

"You don't have to tell me Cat. I mean it is none of my business" Johnny spoke in such a friendly tone yet his eyes held some form of disappointment.

I stood up quickly and evaded eye contact.

"Johnny.. I slept with Dallas."