. . . . .

I hadn't seen Jake in three-and-a-half weeks. I was starving for him—to see him, to hear him, to smell him, to feel his arms around me.

I'd tried to cover up the loneliness with Edward, but I knew he could tell something was off. He sensed my sadness and distraction, and I could tell by the look in his eyes that he knew it was about Jacob. I hadn't told him about our Charlie-imposed time apart for obvious reasons, but he hadn't asked about Jake's noticeable absence. I was sure Alice had told him something or that he'd read Jacob's or Charlie's thoughts. I shuddered to think that he knew the details of that wonderful-horrible night.

Charlie hadn't spoken about it since his angry tirade in the kitchen, but his silence was almost worse than any punishment he could mete out. Besides, what could he come up with that was any worse than what he'd originally decreed—that Jacob was no longer welcome in our house and we weren't allowed to have any kind of contact. It seemed that I'd be banned from Jacob for life.

So now, nearly a full month later, I was almost crazy with needing to see him but couldn't see how or when that would happen.

Jessica, Angela and I had driven into Port Angeles after school to shop for something to wear to Lauren's birthday party. I was standing near the window of a store, thumbing through a rack of skirts when I saw them.

A pack of tall, muscular, brown boys with matching short haircuts. And standing a head taller than the rest of them was my Jacob. I sucked in my breath and my heart thudded. I knew it was wrong, but I had to see him.

"Um, I—I forgot my wallet in the car," I half-shouted to Jessica across the rows of expensive clothes. "I'll be right back."

I practically ran for the door and she laughed, calling out to me. "Don't you need the car keys?"

"Oh, right. Thanks."

I turned to get the keys from her and she eyed my purse.

"Did you take your wallet out in the car? Or…?"

"Yeah." I nodded and grabbed the key ring, pushing out the door before she could ask any more questions.

I stepped off of the curb and headed the direction opposite of the car, angling for the street I'd seen the pack on. I looked around for anyone I recognized, and ran into the street.

"Embry! Quil!" I flagged them down just before they disappeared into the arcade. "Wait up!"

"Bella!" They waved to me and stepped forward, meeting me as I dodged through oncoming traffic.

"That's a little dangerous, especially for you, don't you think?" Quil snickered.

"Yeah," Embry added. "I think you of all people should use the crosswalk, Bella."

"Ha, ha." I deadpanned, scanning the building behind them, hoping to see Jake through the window. "Is Jake with you?" I was out of breath, but I wasn't sure if that was because of my sprint or the prospect of seeing him.

They exchanged looks.

"Um, Bella, I thought you two were grounded from each other." Quil looked worried. "But you can always hang out with me if you're lonely. You know—" He hinted, laughing.

"Ugh. Gross." I laughed, pushing him away and still watching for Jake out of the corner of my eye.

And then I saw him, looking at me from behind the glass. He stepped to the door, hesitating.

I couldn't wait. I pushed past the guys, through the door and into his arms. My mouth covered his, and he kissed me back, roughly, greedily. His hands dug into my lower back, a little too low for decency's sake. The pack hooted and cat-called. I was too glad to be with him to be embarrassed.

"Uh, Bella, let's go outside," Jake broke free, took my hand and pulled me out of the crowd of staring boys. "Perverts," he laughed.

He dragged me around the corner into the alley between the arcade and the store next door and pressed me up against the wall. My hands feverishly raked over his chest and back, and I let my fingers wind into his hair while I tasted his lips.

"I missed you so much!" My mouth was full of his, so it came out muffled.

Jake chuckled and lowered his head, nibbling at my neck, his hands in my hair and all over my body at once. His mouth traveled to my ear, and he sucked gently at my earlobe, his hands twisting at the nape of my neck. I groaned with pleasure and tilted my hips into his, grabbing the waist of his jeans and pulling him close.

"Oh. My. God." Jessica stared, wide-eyed. Angela's mouth hung open, and her shopping bag dropped out of her left hand and thudded on the sidewalk beside her.

Jacob let go of me and backed up a step.

I wiped lip gloss off of my chin and smiled guiltily at them. "Ok, so I didn't forget my wallet in the car."

. . . . .

"What the hell was that?" Jessica practically screamed at me as soon as we'd piled into her car. I couldn't tell if she was angry, ecstatic or just hysterical.

"That was Jacob," I said. But the voice in my head said, That was love.

"He took her to his prom!" Angela burst with excitement.

"Ang!" I hollered.

She looked down, ashamed. "Sorry. I couldn't keep it a secret anymore."

Jessica twisted around in the seat, and both of them stared at me while I squirmed.

"He is so freaking hot! What is he, like your boyfriend now?" Jessica shouted, much too loudly for the tiny enclosed space.

"And what about Edward?"

Leave it to Angela to bring up Edward.

I sighed and stared back, unsure of how to answer either question.

"Come on, Bella," Jessica pleaded. "We need some answers here! We followed you because we saw you surrounded by guys, and face it, since that whole motorcycle-thug incident, I'm a little nervous to leave you by yourself. Then we see this big guy pull you into the alley. I'm glad we didn't find you raped or dead or anything, but that might have been a little less shocking than finding you kissing him. And he's gorgeous!"

"Yeah, he is. He's my best friend. Or at least he was. I don't know what's going on with us lately, though." I balked. I wasn't much for girl-talk or kissing and telling. "It's just, well, I like him. And Edward. I can't make up my mind."

I hung my head in shame. This was way too personal.

"So, you're like—dating both of them? At the same time?" Jessica's voice hit a new octave. "Oh my god, Bella, you're like, my hero!"

Angela shook her head and Jessica's lack of tact. "And they're ok with that?"

I stuttered. "Well, Jacob knows I'm dating Edward. I know he'd rather I choose him, but he knows… how it is with me and Edward. And Edward—well, he knows Jake and I are friends. But he doesn't know we're more than that now. At least, I mean, well, I—I haven't told him. But he may have guessed. It's been going on a while. And, well… Edward's pretty good at—at reading people. He's probably… seen right through Jacob."

Jessica giggled and clapped her hands. "It's like, you're dating two of the hottest guys I've ever seen. At the same time! So like, you have Edward because he's mysterious and sexy and totally gorgeous. And you have Jake, who's like, the tall, dark, handsome one. He looks like he's a really good kisser—is he a good kisser?" Her sentences and words smashed into each other like a freeway crash.

"Um, yeah." I half-giggled and nodded, a little out of breath just thinking about Jacob's kisses. "But you guys can't tell anyone. And you can't even tell anyone that you saw us together, today or at all."

They looked at me questioningly.

Angela tipped her head, "Sure, we won't. But if Edward already knows about Jacob…"

"No, it's not just that. I mean, it's that, sure. Obviously. But it's… it's more complicated," I didn't know how I was going to explain this, it just couldn't get back to Charlie that I'd seen Jacob. That I'd made out with Jacob in an alley in Port Angeles in broad daylight, in public, when I wasn't even supposed to be communicating with him. "It's that, well, Jacob and I are grounded from seeing each other for… ever."

"Ok, now you really have to explain." Jessica was practically crawling over the driver's seat to get to me. "This is waaaaay too juicy to stay a secret!"

I sighed and shut my eyes. "It's… my dad caught us." I couldn't say any more. It was too mortifying.

"Caught you?" Angela looked suspicious.

"Aaaah! Fine. Yes, caught us. Caught us making out in my bed in the middle of the night." I smashed my fists up to my eyes while the girls squealed. I thought my eardrums were going to rupture.

"In bed in the middle of the night?" Jessica was hitting notes that I was certain could break glass.

"Yeah. It was humiliating." I shook my head, remembering the look on Charlie's face, the rush of heat to my cheeks.

"Were you, like, doing it?" Jessica was wide-eyed and awestruck. "Your dad walked in on you two doing it?"

"No, not doing it. And we weren't going to do it. We haven't done it. I've never done it. But… but we weren't wearing a lot of clothing and it totally didn't look good." I started to giggle. I wasn't sure if it was nerves or what, but suddenly the whole thing struck me funny. I couldn't stop laughing. My shoulders shook and tears leaked from the corners of my eyes. I gasped, "I thought my dad was going to blow a gasket. It was horrible. I've never wanted to die so much in my whole life."

Jessica and Angela started giggling, too, and soon the three of us were laughing hysterically. Tears were running down our cheeks, we were grabbing our stomachs and gasping for breath.

"Wow, Bella," Jessica managed to compose herself enough to speak. "And here I thought you were a goody-goody," she mocked, teasingly.

"Hardly," I bantered back. "I don't know too many goody-goodies who get caught by their dads cheating on their boyfriends in bed in their underpants with their really hot best friend who's wearing only boxer briefs."

Angela giggled some more, and Jessica's jaw dropped again.

"He was wearing only boxer briefs? God, Bella. How on earth do you strip that totally perfect specimen of manhood down to his underwear and manage to not do it? I mean, I'd do it with him right now in that alley if he'd let me see him without his shirt on," she swooned hyperbolically, sending me and Angela into another fit of giggles.

Angela managed to choke out the word, "Hussy!" And the three of us exploded, shrieking and squealing.

. . . . .

Charlie poked his head out the door when I got home, and he didn't try to hide the fact that he was checking out who was in the car. I groaned and gathered my bags together. Jessica waved and winked at Charlie, and Angela collapsed into a fit of laughter.

I snorted and tried to retain my composure, but my control was tenuous. I headed into the house with their laughter echoing behind me.

"Sounds like you guys had a… fun time," Charlie smirked at me as I dropped my bags on the bottom step.

"Yeah, it was good to have some girl time. Even if it was shopping." I stuck out my tongue.

"I ran into Billy today," Charlie stopped short and I tried not to look guilty.

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Strangely enough, he said Jacob and the guys were in Port Angeles this afternoon."

I couldn't tell if he was accusing or asking, so I acted as nonchalant as I could.

"Huh. Well unless they were shopping at girly boutiques, I guess we were running in separate circles. Besides, Jessica and Angela had this trip planned for two weeks. And I haven't been allowed to communicate with Jacob or any of his friends for a month, so…" I shrugged and hoped my cheeks wouldn't give me away.

"I know, Bella. You've been very good about all this. I've been surprised you haven't tried to change my mind or bring it up."

I sighed and sat on the edge of the couch. It appeared we were going to finally have the talk I'd been dreading. But Charlie made it quick and easy.

"Listen, Bella, I still don't like what happened. It was wrong in so many ways. But you're a good kid, and so is Jake. I don't know what's going on with you guys, or what's going on with you and that Cullen kid, but I remember what it was like to be young. And I bear some of the responsibility here. I sort of pushed you into spending more time with Jake, and I didn't watch you two as closely as I should have because I know and trust him. Trusted him."

He corrected his statement with a wry smile, then reached out and put his hand on my knee. "I just want to be sure you're being smart… and safe. I just don't want you getting hurt, or doing things you'll regret. So as of today, I'm ungrounding you. But I am going to ask you to be very, very careful with how you handle things and the messages you're sending to those guys. All guys. I don't want boys in your room at all, or over at the house when I'm not here, period. Not even outside. And I expect you to tell me where you're going and who you'll be with before you go anywhere. No more monkey business."

"No more monkey business, Dad, I promise."

. . . . .

Forty minutes later, I was in Jacob's shop, pinned under him on the couch, our shirts and jeans in a pile on the floor, the new lock on the door engaged and the shop heater blazing away.

"No more monkey business," I echoed to him, shaking my finger and doing my best Charlie impression.

He laughed. Then his hands came down and tucked under my thighs, lifting my hips into his. He ground his pelvis into me, pushing his tongue over and across mine. I moaned into his mouth, raking my nails over his back and down into the waistband of his boxer briefs to the smooth skin underneath. I let my fingers trail around the sides, the front of him, working slowly down to feel his hipbones beneath the soft fabric. I felt him react, taking in a sharp breath as I deepened our kiss and eased my fingers lower.

He let go of me, pushing himself up slightly so we both could breathe. I brought my hands up to his chest.

"Bella, what Charlie said that night… he's right, you know."

I sucked in a hot breath of air. This wasn't exactly the conversation I'd hoped to have on our first afternoon back together, especially as well as it had been going the last fifteen minutes or so.

"It's something we need to talk about." His eyes met mine, and I knew he saw the guilt there. "It's not fair to him, and you shouldn't be stuck in between us. And I'm mostly bringing this up right now because I won't go any further than this with you while you belong to someone else. I shouldn't be going this far with you—hell, I shouldn't have even kissed you while you were still his."

His eyes clenched and he let out a wracking sigh. "And god, Bella, I want to go further. You have no idea. I want you so badly."

He pushed his hips into mine again for emphasis.

Then he smiled lightly and kissed down my chest. He slowly slid over my bra straps so he could get at my collarbones. His hand traveled lower and tucked inside the dark blue material. His eyes closed again, dazedly this time, and he moaned quietly. I shivered and arched up to press into him.

I knew I'd need to make up my mind sooner rather than later. I was tired of being torn in two, tired of hiding and feeling guilty, and tired of waiting to be Jacob's—all Jacob's.

The realization shocked me and I gasped with surprise and pleasure.

. . . . .