6

SIMON

My hands twist in his hair, I twirl the dark strand around in my finger as his face lays on my shoulder, nipping at my neck. His arms pulling me in by the waist, holding me in a tight hug. Tear makes still fresh on my face, but being curved by my cheeks turning into a smile. The bell rings and I feel his body shift slightly, "Class…" He mumbles, but doesn't detach.

"Screw class," I move his face up and kiss his lips.

"Simon…" He pulls from me, just enough so that I can see his frown.

"I can't concentrate in that class," I wrap my arms around his neck.

"Why not?"

"Just-" I try to form 'Because Penny's empty seat is a constant reminder of her death' without it being pathetic, but can't think of anything, "Boring."

"We can't just cut class because the subject isn't interesting. That's not how it works," He shakes his head at me, "Come on," He completely pulls away and picks his bag up from the tile floor.

"Baz, please I-" I can feel the tears welling up and I don't know why. My voice cracks and I break into sobs.

BAZ

His whole body racks as he heaves and pants in a sudden crying outburst. I pull him back, holding him as the crying turns from sobs to sniffles. I watch the clock while he cries, trying not to think about the consequences. When the class is half way through, I cringe at the thought of an absence. Simon doesn't notice at all, "I miss Penny," He mumbles into my chest.

"I know."

"I don't know what I'm going to do without her," He goes through another wave of sobs, "She was my best friend. I loved her more than anyone," I try not to take offense to that because there's no reason I should take offense to that.

"She was pretty great," I agree, awkwardly. He nods.

"And now she's gone forever," He pauses and gulps, "Because of me."

"What? You didn't kill her, Simon," I try to rationalize, even though I know it won't work.

"Baz, I did," He sucks in a breath, "I was the one driving and I looked away for a second-only one fucking second- and then she was dead. I did it," He hands hold on to the back of shirt my shirt a little tighter.

"Penny wouldn't blame you," I say and he stiffens.

"Penny can't blame anyone, she's dead," He deadpans. I don't reply, it's useless. This isn't the first time we've had this conversation. It always ends the same way. He lets go and wipes his nose on his sleeve, "See you tomorrow?"

"No," He looks confused at my response, "It's Saturday tomorrow."

"Oh, right, yeah," He mutters as he runs a hand through his hair, "Wanna meet up?" He smiles, nervously.

"Snow," I start, but he shakes his head.

"Never mind, you never can,"He walks out of the closet. We always end up in the closet during lunch, but I think I'm the only one that enjoys the irony. I follow him.

"Are you going to be okay?" I whisper as we walk down the empty hallway.

"Why are you whispering?" He laughs at me.

"In case…never mind. Are you okay?" I repeat.

"Yes, dear," He drawls in a sarcastic drawl.

"Really? Can you please be serious?"

"Baz, I'm fine. It's not like a loved one died or anything…oh wait," He laughs again.

"Simon!" I say, exasperated.

"Lighten up, god. I'm just kidding," He rolls his eyes.

"You're being immature and quite frankly, rude," I try to keep my voice level and emotionless.

"At least I don't have a stick up my arse all the time," He turns and pokes me in the chest. He glares at me, and I frown in response.

"Can you stop for one second?"

"Stop what?" He raises his eyebrows.

"Being a fucking twat," I say and his face turns red.

"Really?" He throws his hands up in the air, dramatically, "I'm the twat?"

"What have I done, huh?" I ask, but the bell rings. People start rushing out of classrooms and we both walk out into the parking lot. He follows me to my car and we both get in, "Why are you in my car?"

"Because the bus doesn't come till school ends," He fiddles absentmindedly with his t-shirt, "We are fighting," He says after a minute of quiet.

"I noticed," I reply sarcastically, he frowns at me, "What's your point?"

"You called me a twat," He states, "After…after what happened," His bottom lip quivers slightly. The kissing or the breakdown? I assume the latter.

"That's in no way the worst thing I've called you."

"Still."

"And it's not like we're dating."

"What…?" He furrows his eyebrows and looks up at me. Then it dawns on him, "I guess we aren't, but still, Baz."

"Still what? I hurt your feelings?" I laugh bitterly, "It's not like you weren't actually b/eing a twat."

He rolls his eyes and looks out the window, "I was kidding, you git." I huff and cross my arms, "I don't actually think you have a stick up your arse," He smiles. I hold my face still, "Oh c'mon," He nudges my shoulder.

"Are you going to get out?" I ask and his face falls.

"What? Are we still fighting?" His eyes widen. I turn away from him.

"I have to go home," He touches my arm as I speak.

"I could-"

"No, Simon, that't not an option," I reply. He sighs and opens the car door.

"Bye, I guess," He fumbles with his bag and leaves. I slouch into my chair and focus on not crying until school ends.