Disclaimer : I do not own Harry Potter, I really wish I did, but I don't.
The Boy Who Lived
"Hem Hem, all students and teachers please go to The Great Hall immediately", A sickly sweet voice rang out through the whole school. Ron turned to Harry and said,
"Wonder what that's about," just as Harry replied, "No idea."
The trio quickly headed out of the Gryffindor common room and down to the Great Hall. When everyone was seated, Umbridge stood up and smiled.
"This can't be good if she's smiling", Hermione muttered to Harry and Ron. Quite frankly, Harry agreed.
"Good morning everyone, this morning I stumbled upon a room full of books. And each of these books went to every student in this school. So I found seven books on Harry Potter and I decided to read them out so we can find out each and everyone of his lies since 1980. I also have invited Minister Cornelius Fudge and Amelia Bones to witness the reading. Are there any objections?" Umbridge said this all very quickly and Harry had trouble understanding it all.
"This can't be allowed!" A voice suddenly screeched from the front of the Great Hall. One quick look confirmed that is was Professor Minerva McGonagall shouting. "It is an invasion of Potter's privacy!"
Harry smiled slightly at his Head of House sticking up for him, people didn't seem to do that very often now a days.
"It most certainly is, Minerva. Now if you will sit down, we will begin the first chapter of the first book." The Deputy Head Mistress looked ready to protest, but Dumbledore leaned over and whispered something in her ear so she relaxed. She quickly nodded at Amelia Bones so she could begin the reading.
Harry sighed and then his eyes widened as they all dropped to the floor just as the Headmaster said,
"I believe it would be more suitable if we were all comfortable."
Amelia started,
Chapter 1, The Boy Who Lived
Snape sneered and Draco Malfoy rolled his eyes at the name.
Mr and Mrs Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.
Harry snorted and muttered rather loudly, "Very normal I assure you, if whale sized humans were normal." This comment sent laughter racing down the room until Umbridge called,
"Quiet down!" which only made the students laugh louder. When they quieted down again, Amelia started reading again.
They were the last people you'd expect to be involved in anything strange and mysterious, because they just didn't hold with such nonsense.
"Magic is not nonsense!" An offended, pure-blood, Ravenclaw called out, there were a few noises of agreement following her.
Mr Dursley was the Director of a firm called Grunnings, which made drills. "What are drills?" He was a big, beefy man with hardly any neck, although he did have a rather large moustache. Mrs Dursley was thin and blonde and had nearly twice the usual amount of neck, which came in very useful as she spent so much of her time craning over garden fences, spying on the neighbours.
"Your family sounds wonderful, Harry" Ginny commented (this cause a few more minutes of snickers)
The Dursleys had a small son called Dudley and in their opinion their was no finer boy anywhere.
"You mean no finer whale anywhere." Harry corrected which caused Hermione to cuff the back of his head.
The Dursleys had everything they wanted, but they also had a secret, and their greatest fear was that somebody would discover it. They didn't think they could bear it if anyone found out about the Potters.
There were a few hisses from the teachers who had taught Lily and James.
Mrs Potter was Mrs Dursley's sister, but they hadn't met for several years ; in fact, Mrs Dursley pretended she didn't have a sister, because her sister and her good-for-nothing husband, "James was a talented young man, thank you very much!" were as unDursleyish as it was possible to be.
"Good riddance!" Minerva muttered.
The Dursleys shuddered to think what to think what the neighbours would say if the Potters arrived in the street.
"Don't mind me interrupting," Dumbledore started, "But I believe it may take quite a while to read all of these books, and as much as we all would like to read about Harry's personal life and feelings, we could read about the most important bits of the book. I know a spell that would allow us to do this, it would not only shorten the books but make them more interesting and combine them together."
(A/N I apologise, but this is to save my time as it took me an hour to write up to here, literally.)
There were murmors around the Great Hall as the students considered it.
"I suggest, Headmaster, that we carry through with this idea of your's." Amelia Bones replied seeming confident in her answer.
Dumbledore then looked at Harry for his approval, and at Harry's nod, he turned to the book, chanted some words that no one could understand and pointed his wand at the book. Suddenly, the seven books started getting smaller and then joined into one massive book.
"Well, let's carry on reading, shall we?"
SORRY THIS IS SO SHORT! The next chapter will definetely be longer :) I also got the idea of shortening the books from another story, unfortunately I cannot remember the name. Just know that it wasn't my idea :)