Unforgiven
It was days after the mission and Ed had gone in to the office earlier than the rest of the rest of the gang. He looked up from his desk when he heard voices coming from outside the office, it was Stan and the rest of the team.
"How long where you planning on keeping this from us?" Chris asked.
"I'm sorry guys, I was too embarrassed to tell you about my ventriloquism." Stan replied rubbing the back of his head smiling, Nina sighed and punched him in the arm causing him to cry out in pain.
"Ouch! What was that for?" Stan said rubbing his aching arm. "that's for making me think that you were cheating on me." Nina replied giggling.
Later that day Riza walked into the office and went straight over to Ed's desk. "Riza!" Ed exclaimed jumping when he saw that she had entered. He hid the piece of paper that he had been writing on in his drew and turned to face her.
"What can I do for you?" Ed asked her as she stood there sternly in front of his desk, she hadn't said a word to him when she had entered the office.
"This is for you." Riza said evenly handing him an envelope. "There transfer papers to Central. I can no longer work under your command." Riza continued sternly, Ed expression changed from serious to shocked when he heard her say that.
"Oh, I see. Is that what you want?" Ed asked, his tone sounding defeated as he tried to hide the sorrow that was in his voice. "What did you expect Ed? After what happened you can't expect me to stay here. I'm not leaving right away, General Quinn needs to complete the transfers so I will be here until the end of the week." Riza explained, she stood there waiting to see Ed's reaction but he just simply sat at his desk his face expressionless, so she silently turned and left his office to tell the others, leaving him alone with his thoughts.
At the end of the week Riza stood on the platform of the station giving the team one last hug goodbye before her departure to Central. "Please don't go Riza, surely you and Ed can work things out." Nina said bursting into tears. Riza gave her a sad smile.
"I'm sorry Nina but this is for the best. What ever it was that Ed and I had is now over." Riza said handing her a tissue.
"I'm glad that we were able to have that drink, I really enjoyed myself the other day." Chris said smiling sadly as he hugged her. "You take care of yourself." He whispered into her ear, she nodded looking over to Frank who was giving her a 'I don't do hugs' look. She walked over to him and held her hand out for him. He took her hand and shook it before being pulled into a hug. "This a one time thing got it." Frank said causing Riza to smile up at him.
As she got onto the train and sat down she waved goodbye to everyone. The train began to pull out of the station and she made herself more comfortable for the long trip ahead of her when she noticed Ed standing a the back of the station, the same sad defeated look that he had when she had handed him her papers. Riza looked away as she couldn't look at him any more not the man he became
As the days went by everyone in the office could tell that Riza's departure was taking it's toll on Ed. Before he always had a smile on his face. He would always chat with everyone he saw and was full of life, but now he hardly ever spoke at all. The smile that he used to wear was now gone replaced with an emotionless expression that worried everyone that saw it. Since Riza had left Ed seemed to just drifted through life.
Ed sat tiredly at his desk, the papers that were due were left as he just leaned on his desk half asleep. It was quiet in the empty office until there came a knock on the door so loud that it almost caused Ed to fall.
"Come in." Came his bored reply and Nina came in sitting down in the chair in front of the desk.
"What can I do for you Nina?" Ed asked, his voice emotionless and croaky from lack of sleep.
"I'll cut to the chase Sir. I've been on this team for awhile now and I was nothing but a shy young woman who saw herself as nothing but a failure. The only reason I decided to train in the military was because I wanted to be like Riza. I looked up to her and it it hadn't been for the both of you choosing me and helping me I wouldn't be the woman I am today." Nina cried clutching her chest, "You moulded this team into what it is today and we are all grateful for everything that you have done. I wanted to tell you that we are all hear for you if you ever need anyone to talk to. "Nina looked up at Ed with her tearful eyes and was surprised to see that he was smiling sadly at her.
"Thank you Nina but I will be al right given time." Ed replied sweetly his smile still there. Nina smiled back and apologised for interrupting him before leaving the office to let him think about what she had said. As soon as Nina closed the door behind her Ed's smile faded back into the emotionless stare he had had since Riza had left. "I'm sorry Nina but I don't think I can ever be that man ever again."
Ed tried to hide his depression knowing that his team was watching him. He didn't want to worry the team no more than what he already had but it was no use, Chris could see right through Ed's act. He had thought about taking Ed out for a drink one night and talk to him to help him with the obvious depression he was suffering with but decided that he couldn't go against his wishes to be left alone. He would wait until Ed came to him first that way he could help him without causing more problems.
Days passed and Chris found that he was finding it harder to ignore the distress that his boss was in. Ed's behaviour had worsened and he decided that it was about time he confronted him with his problem weather he liked it or not.
When Ed got home that evening he took of his coat and throw it to the rack missing in the process, but he didn't care. He just wondered into the living room and sat in his chair that was near the window, the tears that he had been holding back all day rolling down his cheeks finally begin allowed to be released. He pulled up his sleeve and stared at the word 'worthless' that he had carved there himself, unable to feel anything but emptiness.
The following day Ed never turned up to work which made everyone worry. "Has anyone seen Ed at all this morning?" Nina asked in concern.
"No I don't think anyone has. You don't think he's started drinking again do you?" Stan asked looking at everyone.
"I wouldn't put it past him." Frank replied, "I think someone should go and see him." He looked around the room to see who was going to volunteer. "I'll go. I think I might know where he is. Just make sure that Quinn doesn't find out that he's missing." Chris said, he put his coat back on and left the office to start his search for their commanding officer. Chris went into every bar in town searching for Ed but to no avail. It seemed as if he had completely disappeared. He sighed in annoyance and decided to try Ed's house hoping that he would be there.
When Chris got to Ed's front door he knocked and waited for a response but none came. He knocked again and again and after the fifth knock Ed finally opened the door.
"Huh! Chris what are you doing here?" Ed asked, his words slurred with the obvious signs of drink and Chris had to turn his head to try and avoid the smell.
"You didn't turn up for work this morning and I was worried so I came over to see if you was al right" Chris replied. "Nina and the others were afraid that you might of done something dangerous." This made Ed flinch and grab hold of his arm. Chris looked at him suspiciously.
"Well I'm fine. So you can go back to work and..."
"Your not fine! I'm sorry Sir for this." Chris said looking down or a second. Before Ed could react Chris injected a needle into the side of his neck and in seconds Ed was asleep on the floor.
Ed slowly woke up with his head throbbing. He looked around the room and tried to remember what had happened when Chris walked up to him with and mug of coffee in his hand.
"Ah I see your awake. I wasn't expecting you to wake up this quickly." Chris admitted sitting down in a chair that was opposite to the one that Ed was slouched in. Ed looked at him in confusion.
"I'm sorry for having to do that but it needed to be done and you hadn't given me much choice." Chris explained taking a sip of his cooling coffee.
"What was that? I don't remember anything." Ed said rubbing the side of his neck. "It's a new anaesthetic that I've been perfecting for the hospital. It's completely harmless though normally a person would have been out longer than what you were." Ed tried to stand up but felt dizzy and fell back into his chair.
"I wouldn't try standing just yet. You might be awake but the drug hasn't fully left your system yet." Chris explained. It took an hour until Ed was able to move again and he stood up to stretch after being sat in the chair for so long.
"Now that your drug has finally worn of I want you to leave my house!" Ed said angrily pointing towards his front door.
"I'm sorry but I can't do that. I came here became I wanted to talk and I'm not leaving until we have." Chris replied refusing to move from his chair.
"I know what you are going to say but it's ok, I'm perfectly fine. I haven't been drinking too heavily and I know that I should have been at work this morning but I needed some time alone." Ed explained hoping that Chris would understand and leave, but he didn't.
"That's not what I wanted to talk to you about." Chris replied, "Before Riza left I took her out and we shared a few drinks. She told me all about Maes Hughes and she told me how much she thought I resembled him. She told me about what kind of man he was, always having a laugh and keeping everyone's spirits up when ever they were down. She also told me about Ishval and the horrors that they were forced of commit in the name of their country, she said that even though they had to go through that he still always managed to keep a smile on his face and others." Ed face dropped as his listened to what Chris was telling him, he missed Maes so much and wished that he was there for him now. "After hearing the story from Riza I decided to call Roy and ask him more about him, since Riza told me that Roy and Maes were best friends, Roy told me that after the war he became extremely depressed and one day had tried to kill himself. He was stinking drunk and held his gun to his head when Maes came in and saw him. He told me that if Maes hadn't of walked in that day and helped him through his depression that he wouldn't be where he is today. I also know that Maes helped you and your brother as well when you needed it and that you both saw him as the dad you never had." Chris continued wiping his eyes as the story was starting to become too much for him, but he continued anyway because he felt that Ed needed to hear this.
"Roy told me about the promise he made on the day of Maes' funeral, how he would fight and stop the corruption that was in the military and one day full fill his dream of becoming Fuhrer, helping everyone he could as he did and he has still kept that promise even to this day. And seeing you now in this state makes me feel that all of his efforts to talk and help you was all wasted. What do you think he'd say if you saw you acting like this? I think that it dishonours his memory and everything that he sacrificed to help you with your goals." Chris said disappointingly. Hearing this hit Ed harder than everything else that he had said and he bowed his head in shame.
"I know what you've done to your arm, don't forget that I was trained as a doctor before joining the military and I can see the signs of self harmer." Chris finished off his coffee before continuing, watching Ed's reaction as he held on to his arm in disbelief. He hadn't expected anyone to notice since he thought he had hidden it well. "I know that this can't be easy to hear but it needs to be said. You have to snap out of this and concentrate on everything that you have achieved in your young life. We are all here for you Sir and always will be, all you need to do is ask. But remember that you need to admit that you have a problem and need the help first." Chris stood up from his chair and put his coat back on, placing the empty cup on the kitchen counter. "I'm going to go back to work now Sir and leave you with your thoughts. Don't worry and Quinn I'll just tell him that you have the flu and won't be back to work for a few days. You go and get some sleep and I will come by again tomorrow to see how you are." Chris saluted Ed and then left the house, leaving Ed alone with his thoughts. Ed sat there thinking about what Chris had said and after a few hours found a pen and some paper and started writing a letter.
A few days later Roy was having a private talk with Riza. "You will have to tell him sooner or later you know." Roy said looking out of his office window at the beautiful weather there were having.
"I know. I will ring him later I promise. Now can I get back to work?" Riza asked smiling at him.
"Yes you can go now. We can talk more later." Roy said dismissing her. Not long after she had sat down at her desk there came a knock at the door. She told the visitor that they could come in and a private walked in carrying an envelope.
"I have a letter for you Major Elric the private said handing Riza the letter, she took it of him and thanked him and he left to yet her read it in private, everyone else continued with her work.
Dear Riza,
If you are reading this it means that I am dead! I couldn't take my own life so I asked someone that was willing to do it for me, Richard Gladly. I know that I could never ask for your forgiveness as I know I don't deserve it. I only hope that you and everyone else will remember me as the man I used to be and not the monster that I had become. I look back at my life and only see that I ruined peoples lives who had ever only tried to help me in return. And yours was the last one I will be ruining. I hope that you will one day find love again because you deserve to share your love with someone that will love and protect you in return. Someone special that will never hurt you and make you cry as I have done.
I am truly sorry for what I have done and I only hope that you don't loose your heart warming smile you hid for so long because of me.
I love you so much. Goodbye forever, Riza Hawkeye.
Edward Elric.
Riza burst into tears causing everyone in the office to look up and wonder what had happened. She stood up from her chair and dashed out of the office ignoring the shouts behind her asking what was wrong.
"RIZA WAIT!" Roy shouted jumping out of his chair and chasing after her. Riza just continued to run. Roy picked up the letter that Riza had just read to see what could of upset her this much.
"DAMN YOU ED YOU IDIOT!" Roy throw the latter down to the floor and ran after Riza hoping to find her.
It was some time before they found Ed's body and a funeral was arranged for him. Al had invited Roy and everyone else from Central and a few close friends to attend.
They stood in front of Ed's grave which was next to his mothers, sobbing at their loss. "We are all gathered here today to give our respects to my dear brother Edward Elric. I know the last weeks of his life were hard and that he had gone into a downward spiral into depression, after taking a young woman's life but I would like us all to remember him as the man he used to be before that terrible incident. Edward was a kind hearted soul that would of done anything to help a person that was in need. No matter who they were he would of done everything he could to ensure that that person was safe and happy. And that is what he's done for a lots of you here today. So lets us remember the man that touched our hearts and in some way helped us to become the people that we have become." Al said tearfully trying to hold back the sobs that were threatening to come out. "Ed once told someone that in order to move forward they would need to us their strong legs to do it, I still believe that even to this day and I know that Ed only did what he did because he left that it would be best or the people around him. I wasn't completely surprised when I was told how he dies because that was the kind out thing he would do if it was to help someone that he loved." Al continued, "I guess that the burden he was feeling this time was to heavy for him." Al said quietly looking down at the head stone that had his brothers name written on it. "Rest in peace brother." Al rested a single white rose on the grave and then moved away for everyone else to do the same.
Later the night Riza went for a walk and started to loose herself in though and found herself under a tree with a beautiful view of the surrounding area. She sat down on the grass and took the view in until she was startled by a voice behind her.
"You know, this used to be Ed's favourite spot it sit when he had a lot on his mind." Al said sitting down next to her, Riza sighed.
"Oh Al, you made me jump." Riza said taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry Riza I didn't mean to scare you. Are you al right?" He asked in concern.
"I'm ok now thank you. That was a very moving speech you gave today, I just wish I could forget what he did." Riza replied as she looked out into the distance.
"I know about what happened, Nina told me about it, but from what I was told no one knows why he shot her." He explained, "but I believe that he must have had a good reason to do it because we both know how he felt about guns and would only use one if he had felt that he needed to, but I guess that we will never know now." Al and Riza sat there up on the hill for hours talking about the good times that they had both shared with Ed.
It had been four years since that night, Riza stood in front of Ed's grave with a little boy holding her hand. "Who's this mummy?" The boy asked looking up to him mother.
"This was a special friend who saved mummy's life twice. His name is Edward Elric and he dies too young." Riza replied, a single tear rolling down her soft cheek. I car pulled up behind them and she turned to see Roy stepping out of the car and waiting for them.
"Look here's daddy, he's come to pick us up Maes." Riza said smiling down to her son. Riza let go of Maes' hand and watched as he ran to Roy and gave him a big hug.
"That was your son Ed. He's the spitting image of you right down to the smile he pulls when he's happy. I was that you was alive so that you could meet him. You would be so proud of him." Riza turned and looked at her son and husband. "I have to go now, but I promise that we will come and visit you more often. Goodbye Edward." She said and turned to go to the waiting car that would take them to Al's house.
As Roy saw Riza coming to help put Maes into the car he looked behind her at Ed's grave whispered quietly to himself. "I promise you Ed that I'll raise Maes as my own son and give him the childhood that you and your brother never got when you two were young." Riza smiled to him when she arrived to the car and helped Maes into the car before getting in herself with Roy and driving off to Al's.
Well thats one ending i hope you have enjoyed reading my storys from For all his troubles to this one. Im extremely sorry for the very long wait i had writers block and then had deaths in the family myself and i just couldnt get back into finishing it off but its done now please read and review and again i thank you for reading my storys.