So far the court case seemed like some sort of twisted dream to Aaron. He'd made sure he didn't let it seem real enough to him. He was scared of remembering it all, every little detail. He didn't want to remember any of it, not if he didn't have to. Harrison had tried to make Aaron to wake up to it all, questioning him, going over his case, even others had tried like Jackson and Paddy. But he just didn't want it to become real. As far as he was concerned it hadn't happened to him. Or if it did it, wasn't as bad as it was all made out to be by the others. To him it was like falling off his bike and shrugging it off as nothing and pretending he hadn't broken his arm. Darrel hadn't tried to rape him. It was a mole hill blown up into a mountain.
That's what was running through his head as they drove Hotton to the court house. He was trying to convince himself that it had never happened. But the closer they got to the court rooms the more he could hear what Harrison had said during their meetings, the questions, the fake accusations against him and the clear facts. They were becoming more vivid.
"You alright love?" Chas asked Aaron with a small forced smile as she turned round in her seat.
Aaron nodded his head.
"Of course he's alright, he's a Dingle." Cain hissed at his half-sister. He had the same set of mind as Aaron. Pretend that everything was okay when it wasn't. Never show that anything affected him.
Chas rolled her eyes. "Easy for you to say." She mumbled under her breath.
"What was that?" Cain snapped as he took a turning into the car park across the road from the Court rooms. Being a Dingle he knew exactly where the court rooms were.
"Nothing." Chas grinned at him harshly.
"Good."
He left Chas and Cain to bicker among themselves when they met Harrison quickly inside the Court house. His solicitor wanted to quickly run over things once more. Aaron knew for sure that Harrison would be glad when it was all over. He was quite possibly the worst client he'd ever had.
"Now, I believe there's been some sort of hold up - lost paper work or something." Harrison explained to him. "You may have to wait a little longer until you're called but I'll meet you in there if there's nothing else you want to know."
Aaron nodded his head before getting to his feet. He just wanted it all over with now.
Harrison wasn't surprised when Aaron didn't come forward with any questions. "Right, then. See you later."
"Yeah. See ya." Aaron mumbled as he headed back into the busy corridor outside where Cain and Charity were still sitting on a wooden bench drinking coffee.
"What did he say?" Chas instantly asked jumping to her feet. She'd been a fidget ever since they got there.
"Nothing." Aaron breathed calmly. His mother's nerves were beginning to irritate him.
"He must have said something?" Chas persisted. "He can't have said nothing, you were with him a good twenty minutes."
Aaron took a deep breath and sighed. "He said there's been a small hold up."
"What? Why? It's not going to affect the verdict is it?" Chas panicked.
"Just shut up." Aaron snapped as he sat down next to Cain.
"Hey!" Chas exclaimed hurt.
Aaron shook his head and clicked his tongue. Another reason why he wanted it all over with, his mother was like an old mother hen.
"Just leave him be Chas." Cain groaned.
"I'm only looking out for him!" Chas protested one last time before sitting back down and letting silence once more take them.
They waited nearly an hour before Aaron's name was called out by a court room usher and during that time, Aaron's nerves had begun to grow even more. The sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach was reaching its peak; he fought back the threat of being sick. Nearing the next hour, he'd thought of just walking away from it all. If his mum hadn't been there with him to deal him a life long lecture and scolding, he would have done. Now he was sitting in the stand, his hands shaking as he fought to keep his breathing normal. He kept his focus towards the judge, until the edges of his sight began to blur. He daren't risk looking anywhere else, in case he so happened to catch a glimpse of Darrel. He knew he was in the room, he didn't know how but he could just tell. A feeling of dread swept over him as he stepped into the court room. He didn't know what emotion it would bring to the surface if he was to see him and right then, he was struggling to keep them in check. He couldn't even look towards the public gallery where his own mother would be sitting, willing him to look her way just so she could assure him she was there.
He jumped when the court was called to order and he could feel his heartbeat pick up even more as sat listening to the usual proceedings. Soon they were going to call him to take the stand whether he was ready or not.
"Mr Aaron Livesy." Harrison announced to the whole court. "Was attacked by Darrel Kendall not once, or even twice but on several occasions." He looked towards the judge and then to the jury as he spoke. "We have several witnesses to prove that it is so and shocking photographic evidence as well as a sickening recall of each occasion. Mr Kendall is a sick man."
Aaron could hear someone snort in protest as the words left Harrison's mouth. If he didn't know any better it was Darrel. But he daren't look.
He didn't want to listen as Harrison spoke of his and Darrel's first meeting in Bar West, when he tried to kiss him in the toilets and then at the road side when he'd turned nasty. He'd started to touch him and force himself upon him. It made his skin crawl listening to it all. He tried to think of something to stop himself from listening, to distract himself from it. But everything seemed to let him down and he couldn't help but hear the retelling of the attacks from Harrison. Why couldn't he switch off?
"He snuck into Aaron Livesy's home and waited for him upstairs where he attacked him a third time!" Harrison told the court. "He pushed him down a set of stairs and fled the scene as Mr Livesy lay bleeding to death from a head wound at the bottom of the stairs. . ."
He still tried to fight the memories at bay. He didn't need to see the look of pure anger on Darrel's face as he shoved him down the stairs, or the look of pure desperation as he fought hard to get what he wanted from the teen.
"Mr Aaron Livesy." The judge called to him.
Aaron's head snapped up at the call of his name, forgetting about telling himself not to look anywhere but towards the judge. On his way to the judge he saw Darrel.
He was standing in the prosecution stand. He hadn't changed the slightest bit. He showed no ounce of remorse, just a smug look on his face. He looked directly at Aaron, no hint of regret of what he done to him present at all. He smirked at him, making his stomach tightened in a knot and his heart stop for a moment. Darrel still had a hold over him. He still made him feel two inches tall.
"Mr. Livesy." The judge repeated once more.
"Yes." Aaron answered drawing his eyes away from Darrel and focusing them on the judge.
"If you could prepare yourself for the stand in a few minutes." The judge said before everyone around him began to stand and start shuffling papers around. He hadn't been aware that they had been called to a break.
An usher guided him back out to the corridor where Chas and Cain were already waiting for him. Cain eyes him as he got closer while Chas looked like she was close to tears. She pulled him into a hug as soon as he was close enough.
"Oh love!" Chas cried out as she hugged him.
"Sis!" Cain hissed. She was drawing attention towards them.
"Sorry." Chas rushed, pulling herself away and swiping at her eyes.
"Remember what I said." Cain whispered in her ear. Just as they were leaving the court room he made Chas promise not to make a big thing out of anything said in the court room unless Aaron was comfortable with it and he doubted that. He hadn't heard exactly what had happened until sitting in the public gallery listening to Harrison retell each attack, leaving no stone unturned. It made his stomach turn just thinking about it. He was boiling with rage, that sick man had done that to his nephew, his little sister's son!
Chas nodded. "Sorry, I just can't believe- . . . It makes me sick listening to it-." She hissed with a hand over her mouth.
"Chas. . ." Cain warned.
Shit. He hadn't thought about that. He hadn't thought that his mother and uncle would hear what happened. How could he have been so stupid? Of course his mother and Uncle would hear if they sat in Court. They knew every single detail now. There was no sheltering them from it all. He didn't even know if he wanted to them know, especially Cain.
"Where you going?" Chas called out after him as Aaron turned on his heel and began heading further down the corridor.
"I need the loo." Aaron lied as he headed towards them. He needed to be alone. It was all becoming too much. He needed Jackson. Jackson always knew how to make things seem better.
He was relieved to find the toilets empty. He pushed his sleeves up his arms and roughly turned on the cold tap. All he could see was Darrel running through his head, feel his rough hands across his body and the smell of his expensive cologne. His breath began to quicken as the memories grew more vivid. The scenes flashed through his head as he fought harder to suppress them. Before he knew it, it all became too much and he found himself emptying the contents of his stomach into the nearest stall, a sour taste of losing against his memories.
Once he caught his breath, he wiped the back of his hand across his face and headed back over to the sink on his crutches. He placed his hand underneath the steady stream of icy water and chucked it over his face. He needed to calm down. He had what? Another couple of hours or so in court at the max? He could deal with that, no problem. He looked into the mirror in front of him and what he saw disgusted him. He was mess! An absolute mess! Darrel had done that to him. He still couldn't get over how one man had made him become what he was, a nervous wreck by the mere mention of his name. A year ago he would have laughed at himself if he saw what he was now.
He couldn't help but not suppress the bitter laugh that escaped his lips. He was a joke!
A/N – Omgosh so sorry for not updating sooner. I've been so busy and I really struggled with this update. I thought if I left it for a bit and then tackle it again may be the best Idea. Just hope it was. Hope you're still enjoying this fic. Can't wait to see what you think. Thank you once more for such incredible feedback.