Diary of a Wimpy Newbie
Disclaimer: I don't own Runescape, don't sue me. Also, bad grammar is the person talking, not me.
Day 4:
Well, after I returned to Lumbridge with a COOL teleport thingamajigy, I decided to explore some more. Oh, explore, oh explore, I'm gonna be the best!! Sorry, I got sidetracked. All right, stay focused. Okay, so this is the whole story. I AM MAD!! These people wearing black robes attacked me for no good reason. Dude, I haven't bothered anyone yet! Quit picking on me!! I saw them at a place where there were guards. As soon as I got near them, they started to attack me with a weird purple magic. I tried to run away, but I had run all the way there, so I had no energy left. I was down to the bones. Boo hoo. Every time I log on, something horrible happens to me. I'm gonna log off and try my luck tomorrow.
Day 5:
Today, I found some fish and chicken that someone had left behind when they died- right outside of Lumbridge castle! I got extremely lucky today, because right after that, I found a bunch of gray stuff and I checked it. It was RUNES!! I decided to sell it, and I got lucky again! I sold it to a person for 100 gp. Wow! That's a lot of money! I don't know what I'm going to do with it yet. Maybe I'll buy some new clothes. Or maybe get something to eat. Anyhow, I should log off before all my luck goes away.
Day 6:
Apparently, I logged off too late. When I logged on today, it was nothing but bad luck after bad luck after bad luck. First, I found some chicken (good luck), then I burnt all of them (bad luck), then I killed a goblin but died, and after that, some people called me a noob. I TOLD YOU PEOPLE I DON'T KNOW WHAT A NOOB IS!! So anyway, after that, a person with spiky magenta hair said to start dancing if "you hate this noob" and a bunch of people started dancing. I ran out of Lumbridge Castle and ran into bad luck AGAIN. I was chopping trees, minding my own business, when all of a sudden a tree spirit came out of nowhere and started attacking me. THAT THING WAS A FREAKIN' LVL 100! I died , of course, and lost all of my hard earned money and my logs. I don't know what to do. Maybe I should just curl up in a corner and cry. Yup, I think I'll go do that. Goodnight. If you don't see me in the morning, assume I'm dead because I killed myself.