Revamped!

[This is possibly the longest chapter of the story (not counting the bonus one I have planned for the end) and it's possibly my favourite]. [2019: And I made it longer because I'm trash].

[Believe it or not, one of the lines in here was from Oedipus the King so s/o to Sophocles!] [2019: Holy shit, I read that play so long ago].

[Old Chapter Title - The Revelation]

Chapter Nineteen: The Delirium

I rush through the palace with all the sheets containing my contingency plan in an unorganized pile in my arms. A nearby door I didn't see swings open and I stop in my tracks before colliding into it. But the surprise causes me to let go of all my papers. I should've done this electronically. My papers fly all over the place and I struggle to catch them all and the ones I missed land everywhere. I quickly rush to pick them up and so does the person who opened the door.

Oh no … they can't read any of this.

We both stand up at the same time once all the papers are off the ground. I'm looking right into Imanu's eyes. Both of us are flustered because my plan is exposed and he tries to muster up the courage to apologize.

But before any of us could react, I hear my father coming this way.

Oh no… I don't want to see him right now.

"Get in," I say, shoving all the papers into his arms. I don't care that they're not in order and bent in improper angles.

I push Imanu back into his room and close the door behind him, swift enough so that it looks like it was never opened. Before either of us could breathe, I slice my hand through the air to tell him to keep silent.

I listen against the door with a racing heart. I hear my father walk by talking to someone. His voice gets louder but then it's quiet, like a wave. I sigh out of relief, taking a moment to collect myself. Then I notice Imanu starting at me in complete shock. My plan is still in his arms.

"I apologize for that…" I mutter, taking my sheets back.

I end up dropping more sheets and now everything is on the floor, including myself because I suddenly break down crying from all this. I look over my shoulder and see Imanu standing above me, looking at the disaster I'm currently being.

"Are you alright?" I ask him as tears fall onto my papers.

"I was about to ask you the same question," he responds.

I take a deep breath. "I'm not and that's the problem. You see, I have to create a contingency plan to protect Wakanda from future threats targeted towards my friends in America who are the children of The Avengers - I assume you know about them. I haven't slept in three days because sometimes the idea of this gave me nightmares. But the thing is, I made the plans and they work."

Imanu takes a step closer to me. "Why do you have to do this?"

"I have no choice if I want to be queen," I pause. "That sounds selfish so allow me to explain. I don't want to be the queen for ultimate power but for the ability to protect. Sometimes, sacrifices just have to be planned but not made. That's what my father told me. The damage being done to me by such a task is no simple thing. It's the worst to imagine being called a traitor by my friends, my only friends. I don't really have friends here because I like being alone and everyone here sees me as their princess but I'm digressing."

I take a sharp breath. "This whole plan was supposed to be a secret but, now look, I'm telling you everything."

I look down at my hands to avoid his eyes. I wasn't supposed to tell anyone about this plan and now I just told him everything because my emotions got the best of me. But it was refreshing to let it all out on someone wouldn't dismiss me for saying too much.

When I look at Imanu, he's already looking at me. I can see the pity in his eyes as he takes a seat next to me on the floor. I look at the papers on his bedroom floor and don't hesitate to slide them over him.

He already knows about them so I have nothing to lose.

He works in the vibranium mines. In a work environment as vigorous and dangerous as that, they would need contingency plans in case of any accidents. And their contingencies have contingencies.

"I need your help," I say to him, unsure whether that sounded like a statement, plea, or command.

I dab my eyes and wipe my nose with the end of my sleeve. Imanu looks at me for a while longer, debating with himself on whether to help me.

"I will do whatever you ask," he says, making me smile a little.

-o-

All my papers lie across Imanu's bedroom floor, scattered. We tried our best to flatten the folds with various items in his room. Before us are my worst writings and sketches. I can't bear to look at them so I watch Imanu as he reads through them.

"You said you haven't slept in three days," Imanu states. He glances at me for a second and I nod. "You should probably take a nap for a bit."

I would go back to my room but I don't want to tread across the palace and run into my parents. The moment I stand up, Imanu senses my reluctance to leave so he rushes over to his bed to fix it up even though it was already made to a crisp.

-o-

I wake up an hour later, unaware of the time. But it must be late into the night.

He's crouched on the floor, in the centre of all the sheets. His face has more compassion because he knows that there are real people behind these equations and not just display decoys, and he sympathizes with my pain. The longer I look at him, the more I see myself in the reflection of his eyes, recognizing that analytical gaze. I see that look all the time in my parents and myself and I love it on him.

Imanu looks over at me and sees that I'm awake. I smile lightly as I get up and join him.

"Are you sure you want my assistance?" Imanu questions as I stand behind him. "You said yourself that this is strictly confidential."

"Don't worry," I say. "You have my full permission to see and tweak this. My own mother doesn't know my father's plans."

Imanu doesn't respond. I see the expression on his face and that is when I realize my words. Imanu looks at the ground for a bit, uneasy. The Queen doesn't even know the plans.

"That makes me feel important," he says as a small proud smile appears on his face.

I put a hand on his shoulder and he looks up at me.

"You have to stop having doubts in yourself because you are important," I say. "You're helping me be a leader - a better one, actually. It takes a thousand little things to make this work."

He chuckles softly. "I thought it took a thousand tiaras."

I remember the ball for the elite that happened a while back and what I told him about the tiara I gave his younger sister. I laugh but stop once I realize that this is the first time in a while that I laughed.

-o-

We spent hours together before relocating to the castle's labs because we need the space and the technology. It's too early for the scientists to be there but that's a benefit. As I grant ourselves access, erasing my presence in the systems, the labs light up. The bright lights fill up the room as I throw our sheets on the table.

Another perk to having Imanu is that he works in the labs so he knows his way around here. Maybe even more than me.

"How have I never run into you before?" I ask him.

Imanu shrugs. "You never planned to run into me and I for you."

"Good point."

We spent hours together, discussing everything about my plans to the last detail. We wrote over each other, making corrections and adding more information where it's necessary. Never in our lives did we think that work like this, just the concept of it, would be enjoyable and we told each other that.

The company was the best part.

"How do you balance your work life and your personal life?" I ask, remembering how he works in the mines and still has time for his sister.

Imanu shrugs. "It's tiring and straining but I live by the philosophy that I'm not doing this for myself."

I look at him, thinking about what he said for a few seconds longer. I never thought that I would admire him as much as I do. He doesn't work in the mines or play in the jungles for himself but his family.

And it makes me realize that I'm not doing these plans for myself either.

"Do these plans make me a bad person?" I ask.

Imanu pauses, looking at me with soft eyes. "No."

"Do they make me a bad queen?"

Imanu sits closer to me. "Still no. Iqadi, you're doing this because you're a good person protecting your country from a threat that won't ever happen."

I give him a face. "I thought you were a pacifist, not a utilitarian."

Imanu laughs. "I can be both."

"Why did you refuse to fight my father?"

"Because he would've killed me?" He shrugs. "I don't know. Even with the little training I got here, I feel as if my mind and body won't ever pick it up."

"Why else?"

"Because we always have to resort to violence when we don't have to. That's how we're raised in Wakanda and I can understand why. But that day, it may have only been a spar but I saw it as a fight, a competition."

"For what?"

"Your heart."

I'm taken aback for a moment. "No one won it."

He looks at me. "Really?"

I playfully shrug. He may have walked away with it that day.

-o-

I don't know how he did it. Although my eyes never left him, I still don't know what he did.

The antidotes for my contingencies worked. I did

The heaviest weight was lifted off my shoulders and I feel like I could fly.

It was beautiful just to watch him write what I say and listen to his input. I would no longer call this only my plan because he helped me create a contingency plan for my contingency plan. Nobody else could have helped me the way he did. Nobody else could have written down every variable and equation like he did because even though they were simply symbols and letters, he somehow found a way to make them potent, powerful, and passionate.

Almost as if he wasn't going to stop until he figured something out. It was for me.

We stretch ourselves across the lab table, organizing the papers back into a neatly ordered pile in front of us. I stretch out my arms and rest my head on them on top of the pile. I'm still tired but now I know that I can sleep with no strings attached.

I open my eyes and find him lying on his crossed arms, smiling at me.

"You will make a wonderful queen, Iqadi," Imanu says from the bottom of his heart, "and I will be honoured to be your subject."

I don't respond with words but with a hug. I push the paper to the side with my leg as I climb on the table to hug him better. I sit crossed-legged in front of him and he stands straighter to hold me by my back.

We part but not completely. He's holding my waist, looking up at me. My arms are around his neck, resting on his shoulders as I look down at him. We haven't slept but we need to because we're becoming delirious.

Imanu isn't a warrior but he knows how to save and defend others. He proved that to me by successfully helping me complete my contingency plan which was supposed to protect my kingdom and now it will also protect my friends. He sewed stitches on my forehead in the safe room so I wouldn't bleed to death. He was honest to me this whole time, regardless of how that would affect his presence here.

Imanu is an intelligent strategist. He knew to decline the fight with my father since he knew he wouldn't come close to winning. It was a demonstration of saving your scarce resources and being your true self in front of your superior.

We may or may not balance each other but we do complement one another. I act before I think and he thinks before he acts. I protect with big actions and he does the same with little - it takes a thousand little things to make this role work.

I find myself smiling unconsciously but neither of us has moved. He continues to stare at me as my hair drapes down and the ends graze his neck.

Something warm begins to trickle through my veins. Maybe it's my relaxation or because he finally became conscious of me. Or maybe it's delirium… Actually, that's a mistake because he was always conscious of me. But now, I'm fully aware of him. It feels as if every nerve in my body is grasping to every nerve in his and as we rest here.

I lean closer to kiss him but stop. My breathing speeds and I let my eyes drop. I can't speak for him but my heart is beating its way out of my chest.

"We should go," I say.

I leap off the table, brush myself off, and grab my plans. I'm unaware of the time but the morning shift might start soon. And I don't want scientists walking in on us and gossiping to my parents.

"Right," Imanu says, not even realizing how intense we were getting until I started talking.

He brushes his hands by his side and closes up as we walk out. When the door locks behind us, I stop for a moment. I look at him hesitant on whether to kiss him or not.

I know that he won't be leaving anytime soon.

Imanu said that he would be honoured to be my subject but I don't want him as just another person obeying my laws or scientist in my lab. I didn't want to leave his arms.

This is it.

I've made my choice.

[I'm so, so, very happy].