A/N: Hey everyone! I hope you guys are enjoying Diary of a Wimpy Newbie so far! Here's the next chapter. :)
Day 13:
Well, I managed to survive pretty well so far. It seems like everyone has one of those anti dragon-whatevers. So I'm getting myself one of those. First, I have to earn my money. I'll go kill enough goblins to earn money, and possibly go on quests- the easier ones. I want to do some quests. But I don't know which ones. WHICH ONES, OH WHICH ONES SHOULD I DO? Well, I just talked to some member that didn't call me names, and he said that the farmer quest is the easiest. So I'm off to the farmer's to get myself a quest. Well, I got to the farmer's place, but guess what? There were two farmers! One was "Farmer Fred" and the other was "Farmer". I MEAN, SERIOUSLY, WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU NAME YOUR KID "FARMER"! THAT'S JUST A BIG RED FLAG SAYING, "HEY, COME AND KILL MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" OMG, someone just killed the farmer! Call a doctor! Call the ambulance! Call a barber! Call a butcher! No, I don't want to eat the farmer. Besides, all he leaves is bones anyway, which is not really good to eat.
So I went up to Farmer Fred and talked to him. The first thing he said was, "Hey! Get away from my land! Are you the one that's been killing all the chickens?" I mean, seriously, I haven't killed a single chicken yet! I got pissed at him and decided to go away. Farmer Fred was too mean to me. I'm not going to talk to him anymore. So then I left the farm and I saw a bunch of people running to somewhere (I don't know where) and when they ran by the chicken farm I was coming out and one of them said, "Hey!" and I said,. "Hey!" and the person (whose name was PK_Is_Fun) said, "Do you wanna come with us?" and I asked, "Where?" and he said, "To a cool place where you can get a lot of money." And I said, "Sure!" and they said, "Follow us!" So I followed them, and they ran by a lot of cool places that I haven't visited yet, and they got to a place where there was a BIG line drawn in the dirt, and they said, "Jump over this line." And so I did, but I couldn't find them anymore because they were running and I couldn't catch up with them. So I yelled for them to go slower but they wouldn't go any slower and I lost them. So I wandered around by myself for a while and-
HOLY COW, GIANT RATS!
Day 14:
I am now back in Lumbridge, where I am in search of a quest that won't get me killed. I heard there is a ghost here somewhere, and that he needs a head, so I am off in search of that ghost and its head. I went to the cemetery and there was this room in it, and I went inside the room, and there was a coffin, right? So I opened the coffin and out popped a ghost! Well, I was scared to death, and I almost fainted, but I remembered that I had a job to do, so I tried talking to the ghost. STUPID GHOST. ALL HE SAYS IS, "WOOOOOOOOOOO, WOOOOOOOOOOO, WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, WOOO, WOOOOO, WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
HELLO, DOES THE STUPID FREAKIN' GHOST NOT UNDERSTAND THAT I DON'T SPEAK GHOST? I MEAN, I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF IT'S A LANGUAGE OR NOT, IT PROBABLY IS, BUT I NEVER LEARNED IT IN SCHOOL. THE ONLY LANGUAGES I LEARNED IN SCHOOL WAS SPANISH, GERMAN, FRENCH, LATIN, GREEK, RUSSIAN, ITALIAN, AND ARABIC. I NEVER GOT PAST A COUPLE MONTHS IN SPANISH BECAUSE IT WAS FUN IN THE BEGINNING BUT GOT REALLY BORING WHEN THE TEACHER MADE US STUDY GRAMMAR, I MEAN, HOW BORING IS THAT? I FAILED A LOT OF TESTS AND FINALLY MY TEACHER KICKED ME OUT OF THE CLASS BECAUSE SHE SAYS, "I ASK TOO MANY UNIMPORTANT QUESTIONS." I MEAN, THAT IS SUCH A PUT-DOWN! DIDN'T THE TEACHERS LEARN TO BE OPTIMISTIC AND ENCOURAGE THE STUDENTS TO LEARN, NOT PUT THEM DOWN SO THEY FAIL AND FLUNK THE CLASS? I GUESS THEY NEVER TOOK SELF ESTEEM 172. SO I SWITCHED LANGUAGES BUT GOT KICKED OUT AGAIN, SO I KEPT SWITCHING AND FINALLY I GOT KICKED OUT OF ALL THE CLASSES AND THE PRINCIPAL BANNED ME FROM TAKING ANOTHER LANGUAGE CLASS. I NEVER STUDIED GHOST.
Day 15:
Today I found some shrimp lying on the ground. I picked them up and suddenly a cat appeared out of nowhere and said, "meow!" that really scared me. What's a cat doing in Runescape? I don't know, and I didn't know if I wanted to know the answer to that, and I didn't have time to think about it because suddenly I ended up in a jail cell with a bunch of floating pink thingys around me and a stupid prisoner named "Pete". What the heck! This is really stupid. I can't believe that I have to try and pop these balloon animals and try and get out of here. This is so lame. I'm going to pop any random animal and try to get out.
Oh, hey, I got the first puzzle right. I'm excited. Let's see… I can maybe get out of this place after all. Yes! I got the next puzzle right! I'M SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD!
Oh yeah, I got out! I can't believe that I got out of that prison. I'm back where I started, where the shrimp is, or rather… was. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
The shrimp is gone, and now I don't have any food! Oh wait, I can just go to the bank. The bank will have free food. I can get free food because the bank always gives out free food, right?
OMG, forget that. I don't need to do that. I just saw a little wooden board stuck on the ground and it says that someone died!
!
And guess what? The board disappeared after a while and there were bones and money, a lot of it. I picked it up and guess what? I found 917,620 gp! Now I'm rich! Some guy who ran over at the same time I did didn't get the coins and he was like, "********************************** that, NOOB! Give me back my money!" And I was like, "No way. You snooze, you lose, sucker! !"
And guess what he said?
"NOOB."