I'm back in the arena.

Katniss holds out the berries and we're trembling, but we both understand that it is what we need to do. Our backs are against each other and we count to three, agreeing to eat the berries at the same time. Before the deadly nightlock berries touch our lips, we hear the voice of a Gamemaker, shouting, telling us to stop and drop them. We are the victors of the 74th Hunger Games. We're alive and getting out of this hellhole. Joy and disbelief rush through our body, and Katniss and I cry, kiss and hug.

The scene quickly changes to the victor's interview. Katniss talks about how she loves me and couldn't survive without me. She couldn't imagine living without me. I believe every word and say the same things, about how she saved me, about how madly in love I am with her. We hold hands, we cuddle, we kiss, and the Capitol audience goes wild. They couldn't get enough. I couldn't get enough. The girl on fire is who I want and who I have.

Again, the scene changes and we are in District 12. I recognize the houses, the people, and the smell of coal everywhere. Katniss is at the other side. I feel a rush of happiness go through me. I run and run towards Katniss and she's going my direction as well. There's a huge smile on my face and I can hear her giggling from afar. She's still a little bit far away, but I just keep on running. Suddenly, my legs feel heavy. I look down and see that I'm being pulled down by quicksand. I panic but Katniss just keeps running towards me. She'll save me. But why is she still smiling?

Out of nowhere, Gale appears in front of me and opens his arms. Katniss leaps into them and I watch them kiss each other, so in love. Kids run towards them, giggling and screaming. The three kids all have brown hair and Seam eyes… their children. They're all hand in hand now, playing, while I start to sink faster. Only my head isn't sunken. I start to scream, "Katniss, Katniss… help me!". She looks at me and bends down, "Katniss, Katniss!" I scream again, "Help me!"

She begins to cry and say, "Peeta, no, don't sink yet, don't leave me…" and I feel relieved. She's going to help. I smile at her. But then, the look of sympathy and care disappear from her face. She stands up and starts to laugh. Something about that laugh was so evil. So… mean, "Hah, you really are gullible and stupid," she begins again, "Why would I ever save you? You don't mean anything to me anymore," I panic and say, "No, Katniss, please..." I begin to sink more and only my eyes and forehead are above the earth. Katniss laughs again, with Gale, and the kids, being carried by Haymitch now, point at me.

"You worthless piece of trash," Katniss screams, kicking my head hard. I've completely sunk, only the sound of laughter from Katniss echoing in my head. I pass out, probably dead.

Pitch-black darkness. That's all that's left.

I wake up, panting and sweating. I realize that it was all a dream. I sit up and put my head on my knees. I can't stop shaking. It felt so… real. How she could throw me away like that, so easily. I try to get my breathing back to normal. I've always slept beside Katniss. I'd protect her from her nightmares and she'd protect me from mine. My nightmares were always about losing her and she was always there to wake me up and hold me. But I guess I should get used to it now. When we get back home, my nightmares will turn into reality. We don't need to keep the act up anymore, so the affection will be gone. We have different lives and our own families, so our communication will probably die down, too. Everything's going to disappear.

I'm going to lose her, lose everything. But I don't think that's the case. She has her mother and Prim, and never have I doubted her love for them. She'll probably start to hunt again, too, despite her being so incredibly rich now with the victors' wealth. I can already imagine her disappearing into the woods, with her bow and arrows, with her partner, Gale. Gale. She has him, too. Some person started spreading the both of them are just cousins, but I know that's going to die down quickly, too. They'll find a way to end up together, Katniss and Gale. Besides, I'm sure Katniss' heart really belongs to him, never really mine. So I guess that's it. I'll be Peeta Mellark, alone, angry and bitter.

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself," I say to myself. I stand up and put fresh clothes on and I sit down on the chair by the window. I just look out and appreciate the view. The next time I'll see the "outside world" again will be during the Victory Tour and that's still weeks away from now. I just stare blankly ahead. Lots of time pass, I think, just looking at the view. I heard several knocks on the door. Capitol servants and Avox people tried to see if I'm doing okay. Effie's screamed at the door for me to come out and get ready. I ignore them all.

After awhile, another knock comes. A voice says from outside, "You're going to have to come out of there sooner or later, boy," It's Haymitch.

"Go away," I scream, frustrated. I'm sure Katniss told him I knew already.

"Just open the damn door!" he shouts again.

"No!"

"Stop being such a big baby," he says, kicking the door.

Does he really expect me to be okay with all of this? "I said, go away."

I hear nothing for awhile but then I hear the door unlock and open. I don't look back, still focused on the window and views. I'm pretty sure it's Haymitch. "Boy, you can't escape this reality," It is him. He puts his arm on my shoulder and I flinch, shoving it away. I don't want him to touch me, and I certainly don't want to talk to him. I'm sure he can't talk properly anyway, so that's a good thing. The whole train is probably bugged with cameras and recorders from the Capitol, and he wouldn't be stupid enough to reveal here that everything was just an act.

"Look at me," Haymitch orders.

I look back and sigh, giving him a cold stare, "What do you want, Haymitch?"

He looks at me, and then the ground and says, "Fine. We'll talk when we get back."

I nod and look through the window again, listening to his footsteps on the way out. All I can see are coal mines and trees now. We must be near District 12.

"You're gonna want to come out now, kid," he says, "We're almost there."

As we approach the train station, I get out of my room, finally. I can't avoid them forever, as much as I want to.

"You're finally out!" says Effie. Here it comes, "You didn't even eat yet! You can't do all of this with an empty stomach! There will be cameras, and people are going to ask questions! Oh, it's going to be so tiring! You're going to have to look your best and feel good and-"

"Effie," I cut in, a little bit too harshly, "I'm alright. It's going to be alright, okay?"

She looks at me with a sad look, and nods. I walk towards the door and I see Katniss standing there, too. We haven't spoken ever since I found out about their plan, their lies. We look at each other and I give her a slight nod. I look away from her, but I can see from my side she's still looking at me. I just stare at the door, not looking into her grey eyes. Finally, the train stops. We're home, we're finally home. I can hear people from outside the train. Our friends, our families, even people we don't know… they are all dying to see us. I'm nervous, and I still feel sad and angry, but now is not the time to let my team down. There are probably a hundred cameras out there right now, and I realize that I'm supposed to look happy, so unbelievably happy… and in love.

I hold Katniss' hand and she looks at me, confused.

"Are you sure?" she whispers.

"Just this one last time," I say in a low voice, "For the cameras."

The train doors open and we get down, finally stepping foot on District 12 again. Everyone is screaming our name, cheering us on, and waving. We're both smiling so wide, showing everyone how joyful and in love we are. As people take our pictures and take videos of us, we just stand there, hand in hand, grinning. I probably look like I'm having the time of my life. But the truth is, I'm dying. As I hold onto Katniss' hand so tightly, I'm crumbling inside because I know I'm going to have to let go of her soon… and I'm afraid I'll never hold and have her ever again.