Nothing felt right for a long time after that day. Norma alternated between telling him she was fine because "life goes on" and crying alot. Alex floundered helplessly, wrapping her up in his arms, desparately wishing he knew what to say or do to make it all ok again.
Summer came, and with it, came a slightly happier Norma. Slowly but surely things started to return to normal, though the both knew they'd lost something they'd never quite get back. One night, over dinner, Alex took a long sip of wine and finally mustered the courage to say something.
"Norma... I know what you said but-"
She cut him off, slamming her own glass back on the table, huffing angrily at her plate of food.
"Stop." She snapped. She glanced up at him, her face softening at his hurt expression. "Just... don't Alex. I can't do it again. Ok?"
He nodded sadly down at his chicken alfredo.
There was a pause, and a small sniffle, and he was afraid to look up for a moment.
"Am I not enough?" She asked in a tiny voice, and he looked up in shock. She was glumly pushing linguine around her plate, her bottom trembling like it always did when she was trying not to cry.
"What?" He blurted out in surprise.
She glanced up at him with watery eyes.
"Am I not enough? Without a baby, I mean?"
For a second, he couldn't even speak, his mouth dropped open.
"I mean... I know you really wanted this but..." Her voice broke. "I don't think I can do it again..."
She stood suddenly, grabbing her mostly full plate and angrily scraping the contents into the trash, while Alex sat frozen, unable to comprehend what she was saying for a moment.
"Are you gonna leave?" She asked in a tiny voice, directing her query into the trash can.
He jumped up suddenly, his wits returning to him suddenly, crossing to her in a heartbeat, taking the plate from her hand and slamming it on the side. She jumped, like she thought he might be angry with her. In a way, he was.
"I'm not leaving. I will never leave." He said seriously, grabbing her upper arms almost roughly.
"When are you gonna start believing that?"
She shrugged, sniffling, avoiding his gaze.
"Yes. I wanted to have a child with you." He started, and she let out a quiet little whimper.
"But I'm not... I'd never leave. I understand that you don't want to try again. I get it."
She opened her mouth to speak, staring at his chest, looking like she didn't know what to say.
"You're enough for me, Norma. You're more than enough."
She finally glanced up at him through wet lashes, smiling breathlessly at him, craning up on her toes, trying to kiss him. He swayed away, tightening his grip on her arms to stop her, a small smile playing on his lips.
"No. I'm mad at you." He smirked at her. He could sense her softening, could see the smile tugging at her reluctant lips as he turned his head away haughtily.
"You gotta stop thinking I'm going to leave you." He shook his head lightly as she pouted at him, her hands sliding delicately around his waist.
"I got feelings, Norma." His tone turned a little more serious as she playfully carried on trying to kiss him. "It hurts me that you always think the worst of me."
"I... I don't..." Her mouth opened and closed as she trailed off. "I'm sorry." She said finally, and he wrapped his hands around her suddenly, depositing her on the counter with a soft little gasp.
"I'll forgive you." She smiled at her, finally giving up on pretending to be mad at her. He wasn't even sure he knew how to be mad at her.
"Oh that's very gracious of you." She rolled her eyes at him, sliding her hands around his neck, as her thighs slid open, giving him space to stand between them.
He opened his mouth like he was going to speak, cut off as she suddenly tugged him forwards, crushing her lips against his.
His hands slid up her thighs, smoothing around the curve of her ass and then up to the small of her back, dragging her forwards to the edge of the counter.
"I feel very conflicted when you wear pants." He murmured, dragging his mouth away from hers, sliding his tongue along her jaw, as his hands toyed with the waistband of her grey pinstripe pants.
"Oh?" She muttered, raising one eyebrow at him.
"Yeah." He said gruffly, as his finger tips slid inside, managing to shove his hands into the tight material of her pants, brushing against the lace underneath.
"On the one hand," He squeezed his right hand as much as he could in the constricting material. "Your ass looks really good in pants."
She nodded in agreement, and he smiled at her confidence. He always loved it.
"On the other hand," He squeezed his left hand around the top of her ass cheek. "Less access."
"I see." She said quietly, nodding as she pretended to mull these points over deeply. His lips continued pressing against her jaw, moving down along her throat. "It must be very hard being you."
He grasped her wrist lightly, pulling her hand to press against the growing bulge in his pants.
"Very hard." He said pointedly, and she giggled out a faux shocked laugh, snatching her hand back from where it was sandwiched between them.
She tilted her head, giving him better access as he licked and sucked at her pulse point.
"I went back on the pill." She breathed out and he froze, pulling back to gaze at her enquiringly. She'd announced one day, not long after that horrible day at the hospital that she didn't want to go back on birth control straight away, to "give her body a break". He wasn't sure he entirely understood what that meant, but he had nodded gently, hiding his disappointment that this meant no sex for a while. He didn't mind. Not really. He would wait as long as she wanted - He couldn't imagine what she was feeling, how much she must be feeling like her body had betrayed her, so he just patted her hand sweetly, smiling at her.
"Of course. Whenever you're ready. I'm not-"
He had been cut off as she'd suddenly reached into her bag, slamming a box of condoms onto the dinner table.
"Jesus-" He spluttered, choking on a sip of wine as she smiled innocently at him.
"You're never too old to be embarrassed buying condoms. That's what I found out today."
He hadn't hated using them, but neither of them could describe themselves as fans and he felt a smile spreading across her face at the news she was back on birth control.
"Really?" He muttered.
"Mm hm." She nodded, licking her lip seductively, her hands toying with the hair at the nape of his neck.
He let out a little groan, his hips jerking forwards a little.
"God, I wish you weren't wearing pants."
"Mm?" She murmured, faux innocently, as he nuzzled his nose against her temple, his hands kneading her flesh down the back of her pants.
"Yes. I..."
She shoved him back suddenly and he stumbled, tripping as he stepped back. She jumped down from the counter, smiling at him wickedly, stepping around him and walking to the doorway before spinning on her heel.
"I'd better take them off then." She announced, and he gulped as she undid her button, shimmying the grey fabric down her legs deliberately slowly, bending to push them down to her ankles before stepping out of them completely.
His mouth dropped open as she straightened up slowly, twirling around very slowly to give him the full view of her lace-clad ass as she turned.
She glanced over her shoulder, smirking at his open mouthed expression.
"What are you waiting for?" She shrugged at him, stalking away before he could answer, swaying her hips deliberately as she walked. She was halfway up the stairs before he moved, coming to his senses, chasing after her. She squealed, starting to jog up the steps and he was mesmerised for a second, watching her ass sashay as she bounced up the stairs. He caught up to her, slapping her ass playfully, and she squealed and giggled as he swept her up into his arms, dragging his giggling, half naked wife into their bedroom, spending the night showing her just how much he loved her, baby or not.
Summer faded into Autumn, and Norma's mood changed again. She was quiet at breakfast, pushing her eggs around her plate, eating almost nothing, occasionally looking unhappily out of the window, frowning to herself.
"What's the matter?"
"I don't feel well." She said in a small voice, her brow creasing, pressing her hand against her forehead and taking a deep breath. He dropped his knife and fork with a clatter, standing immediately and rounding the table to crouch in front of her.
"I'm fine." She assured him, as he rested his hands on her knees, staring at her, his face a picture of concern.
"I just feel a bit under the weather. I didn't sleep well." This wasn't news to him. She'd tossed and turned all night, kicking the covers off them both a few times, until she shivered, sitting up and pulling the comforter back up to her neck, shaking like she was freezing. He'd wrapped her up in his arms every time she did it, stroking his hands along her back or her hair until she quietened again.
"You sure?" He reached for her, and she jerked away from his touch.
"I'm fine." She snapped, standing suddenly, pushing him back. She grabbed both of their plates and swept over to the sink, depositing them roughly into the water and he shook his head in confusion, not sure what he'd done wrong.
"Go to work." She mumbled suddenly, her tone a little softer now.
"Yes ma'am." He said, standing up and saluting, getting nothing but a small over-the-shoulder smirk at his little joke, before she turned back to the dishes.
"You sure you're ok?" He crossed over to her, wrapping his arms around her. She felt absurdly hot, even through their clothes.
She nodded tightly, and he pressed a kiss against her shoulder, his hand drifting up to press against her forehead.
"You're really hot...?" He queried.
"I'm fine. Honestly. It's nothing." She said, her voice tight and strange.
"Love you." He pecked her cheek, feeling how clammy her skin felt before he reluctantly let her go.
"Love you too." She choked out, and then he was gone, warily leaving the house, his jacket hanging loosely from his hands.
He sat in his SUV for what felt like a long time, frowning up at the house, feeling uneasy. He couldn't leave her like that, knowing she was lying about how ill she was feeling.
On a whim, he called Janine's phone.
"Janine?"
"Oh. Hi." There was a long pause, where he was pretty sure that wasn't Janine's voice, but he didn't know what to say.
"Who is it?" Janine's shrill tone filtered in from the background of the other end of the call, along with the gentle hum of a car engine.
There was a shuffling sound and then the sound of muffled conversation that he couldn't quite make out.
"Sorry Sheriff." Regina's voice was unmistakable now. "Janine's just driving at the moment. Can I help at all?"
He floundered for a second.
"Erm... I just needed to let you both know I might be late in today. My wife's ill."
"Ok." Regina said back simply. She was a woman of few words, especially when it came to Norma, who shared a frosty relationship with his receptionist.
"Why are you and Regina in the car?" He blurted out, frowning in confusion.
"Oh. Erm... We carpool." There was a hushed giggle in the background.
"But you live on opposite sides of town? It wouldn't make any sense to- Oh." He suddenly remembered Norma's prediction about the love lives of his staff, a small smile playing on his lips.
"Yeah." She said simply, and he could hear the smile in her voice.
"Ok. Well, tell Lahey I'll be in later, ok?"
"Sure." There was another bit of muffled conversation. "Erm... I hope your wife feels better soon."
Alex's mouth dropped open at Regina's concern for Norma, wondering if maybe he wasn't the only one who could be softened up by the love of a good woman.
He was so distracted by the idea of telling her all this, that he almost forgot why he came back up to the house, until he stood in the doorway, his eyes shooting upwards at the sound of her violently retching upstairs. The toilet had flushed by the time he had sprinted to the top of the steps, and he rounded the doorway just in time to see her sag heavily against the wall, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand. Her legs were splayed out to the side, and as he took in her deathly pale, sweating face, he could barely believe he'd only left her ten minutes ago.
Her eyes shot open when she realised she wasn't alone, and for a second, he assumed she'd be embarrassed for him to see her like this, probably trying to get him to leave, insisting that she was fine, so he was surprised when her face crumpled. She started to cry, her eyes wide and panicked as she gazed at him.
"I'm not pregnant." She said, sounding like she was trying to convince herself, or perhaps trying to cut down the idea before he could get his hopes up.
"I can't be... I can't be pregnant." She sniffled, shaking her head vehemently, and he crossed over to her, sinking down slowly to a crouch, reaching to press his hand against her forehead. She was burning up, her eyes glazed as they stared at him.
"I don't think this is morning sickness." He agreed, and she visibly sagged, mostly relieved that she was right, feeling a slight pang of disappointment there also.
"You're burning up." He announced worriedly.
"I'm dying." She said simply, and he laughed, in spite of his concern, cupping her face gently. She leaned heavily into his touch, like even holding her own head up was too much for her.
"Well, that's dramatic."
She started to laugh weakly, before the smile dropping from her face and she lunged forwards, hoisting herself up onto her knees and heaving into the toilet, throwing up the last of the tiny amount of food she'd eaten at breakfast. He surged forwards immediately, smoothing her hair away from her face, tenderly gathering it at the nape of her neck, his other hand smoothing across her back.
"It's ok." He murmured soothingly, as she flopped back against the tiled wall, her head dropping back, taking a deep, shaky breath.
"I'm sick." She said, sounding like a little girl. He nodded.
"I know honey." He pressed his hand back to her forehead, frowning again.
"You're really hot. Should I call a doctor or-"
She cut him off.
"Mmm mm. No. I'm fine." She said defiantly, her speech sounding slurred and strange, her breaths panting out as she shook her head. He gazed at her unsurely. Realistically, he could tell she was fine - It was probably stomach flu, and she'd feel awful for a couple of days, and then be ok, but he couldn't stop that bubble of panic rising up when he looked at her, taking in just how pale and clammy her face was, watching as her head lolled heavily to the side, as she murmured a soft noise of discontent.
"Come on. Let's get you back to bed." He said gently, reaching for her hands, guiding her to wrap them around his neck and scooping her up into his arms.
He struggled to his feet, feeling just how hot her body was through their clothes, her dress sticking to her under his hand. She curled against his chest, muttering half formed words that made him worry she was delirious, feeling like he was carrying a rag doll as she sagged weakly in his arms.
He sank down to the bed, settling her down and pulling back to wrap the covers up around her. His heart sank when he remembered the last time he had looked after her like this, that fateful day they'd both lost a part of themselves. She'd needed him then, and she needed him now, and he frowned as she tossed her head back and forth unhappily, clutching at her stomach, letting out a soft whimper of discomfort.
He disappeared into the bathroom for a second, returning with a cool damp washcloth, pressing it against her clammy forehead, watching her expression smooth out a little as relief flooded her features.
"I'm gonna get something to try and bring your fever down, ok?" He muttered and she nodded sleepily, her eyes still mostly closed, only fluttering open every now and then.
He stood, leaning over her to press a kiss against the top of her head.
"Thanks." She mumbled out, and he smiled down at her, before turning to leave.
"You would have been a great dad." She whispered, slurring her words as her fever tugged at her consciousness, and he froze.
He turned, watching as she sniffled gently, before curling onto her side, apparently drifting into a fitful sleep.
"I erm... I'm gonna get you some water." He said unnecessarily, trying to pretend that her fevered admission hadn't torn him apart, stirring up feelings he'd long since tried to repress.
Yes. He would have been a great dad...