Chapter 2:

Cartman PoV

I was quite pleased with the way I had delivered the morning announcements. Since Elementary I had been banned from reading them as I had either been student body president or Casey Miller had taken over my role.
However, now he was attending a boarding school in Idaho, which had nothing to do with me, of course.
So I had reinstated my role of the morning announcement reader last semester, which I was sure everyone was thrilled about. Besides, now I was in senior year, I had much more chance of being able to change the school for the better. If I could just get Wendy on my side, which I was doing a pretty good job at currently.

"Hey dudes." I greet my friends as I enter the dinner hall.

"Fuck off Cartman." Wendy snaps as I go to sit down next to her. Great, she was talking to me, this was all going to plan. However, I decided to go ahead and join the lunch queue to get my steak and baked potato meal.

"Well hey Eric." I heard Butters' voice from behind me.

"Hi Butters." I turned to face him. "Sup man."

"Well uh, not much." He bashes his knuckles together. "Suppose I'm um happy to be back at school. Your morning announcements were super cool again I guess."

"Why thank you Butters." I say in my sarcastic tone. "Let's not start up a rally with the nerdy kids again shall we? We don't want you shitting on anyone's doorsteps again."

"I won't Eric." He promises and looks down at the floor. I reach the front of the lunch queue and the cook piles up my plate with steak and potato. I wonder how they know that I eat so much, they always give me extra food... Maybe they just like me. I did wish we still had our Chef from Elementary school however. He was not just the school cook, but also someone we could go to if we had a problem. If he was here now, I bet he would be cooking us chips every day and I could talk to him about my plans to change the school.

Kyle PoV

Is it called fifth wheeling when you are hanging out with two couples? Both of which were draped over one another, feeding each other bits of their lunch. It made me sick. Stan and Wendy I could deal with, they had been together since third grade on and off and so over time I had got used to my best friend being Wendy's property. However, I had to admit I often got jealous of it, since middle school they had spent a lot more time together and as we were now all in the same friendship group, I didn't feel like I had my best friend anymore. In fact, he spent a lot of time with Kenny too.
Speaking of which, Kenny and Bebe were a nightmare. They had got together last year and had broken up a few times since. I was surprised that Bebe had settled for one guy as she is your stereotypical 'slut'. Head cheerleader. Blonde princess. Destined to be prom queen. She has slept around with about ten of the boys in our year, including Token, Clyde and Craig. But not me of course, I was still the little Jewish Virgin, which put me under a ton of pressure when I had to hang around with two sets of love's young dream constantly. The only other boys in the year I was aware had not slept with everyone, were Scott Malkinson, Kevin Stoley, Butters and Cartman, which was not surprising in the slightest. Tweek and Craig had got together in junior year too, so I was assuming they had slept together, although with Tweek's severe anxiety, it was probably a challenge.

So I was an outsider. I did not hang out with Cartman or Butters when I could help it and Kevin was friends with the nerdy kids in the year below. Scott had a lisp and diabetes so people would think I was weird if I hung around with him. I just had to smile and pretend I knew what they were going on about when they talked about this shit. Plus I was so much a fifth wheel, I was on a completely different bicycle. A unicycle. I did not know what was wrong with me, but there must be something if I had been categorised alongside Cartman, Scott, Butters and Kevin.

"So Saturday night then, we are all going to Shakey's?" I heard Bebe ask and I snapped back to reality.

"Yeah sure sounds good." I pipe up and they all turn to look at me as if I was invisible before.

"Um... Kyle it's sort of a double date kind of thing..." Stan bites his lip. "Weren't you listening to us before? They have a deal on for couples night."

"Oh..." I begin to blush and so lean on my hand to cover it up. Of course it would be a 'double date kind of thing', that's what it always is nowadays. I could not remember the last time Stan, Kenny and I went out together, we could even drag Cartman along for old times sake. But no, now I was always excluded because I was the single reject. "Yeah, I know. I meant, it sounds good for you. I'm busy Saturday night anyway."

"Really? Doing what?" Kenny asks politely, aware that I had not been involved very much this lunchtime.

"Um... Helping my dad." I lied. Brilliant, what an exciting thing to be doing on Saturday night. I could not think of anything better, could I?

"Wow... Sounds fun." Kenny laughed and Bebe giggled with him.

"It's cool Kyle, maybe we can hang out on Sunday." Stan suggested and this pissed me off even more. I didn't want to hang out with Stan on Sunday. I was always available when he wanted me and I was sick of it.

"No, sorry, I'm busy on Sunday too." I continue to bullshit. "I'm meeting this girl."

"Girl?" Stan's eyes widen and they all perk up to join in the conversation. As soon as I don't look like a lonely fuck, they all begin to find me interesting. "What girl?"

"Does she go to this school?" Wendy asks.

"Is it Lola?" Bebe teases. "Or Jenny? Or Millie?"

"No, she doesn't go to this school." I tell them, my story getting out of hand. "She attends a school in Denver."

"Well what's her name?" Kenny asks me, squeezing my cheeks in a jokey way.

"Um... Cady." I remember back to when Ike and I watched Mean Girls a few weeks ago... That never happened, of course...

"Oooh!" Wendy choruses. "Kyle and Cady sitting in a tree!"

"Well why don't you invite her on Saturday night?" Stan suggests and my heart stops for a second. Shit.

"What?" I stammer. "Uh... No sorry, I'm helping my dad, remember?"

"Well I'm sure that can be postponed!" Bebe laughs. "It's not like it's a meeting with the president or anything."

"Yeah come on Kyle." Kenny beckons. "We'd love to meet her."

"Plus then it can be like a triple date." Stan adds and my eyes dart from couple to couple.

"Please?" Wendy begs. I had no way of getting out of this one. I would just have to find a girl really quick.

"Ok fine." I shrug. I was in shit now.

Bebe PoV

After an eventful lunchtime, it was time for the cheerleading tryouts. Wendy was at a council meeting and so could not make the auditions, so instead I had asked Red and Lola to join me. There were only two places up for grabs since last years seniors had graduated and I thought they would get filled relatively quickly. However, judging by the girls we had seen so far, it did not look like we were ever going to have a full team. They mostly consisted of Freshmen, eager to join the cheerleading squad to raise their popularity status, but none of them could even do an air straddle so that was a no no. There had also been two Sophomore girls who were slightly better but still not the standard I was anticipating for this team.

"This is not going well." I turn to my friends who are making notes in their booklets.

"I know." Lola chips in. "Did you see that one girl? She was the size of Eric Cartman!"

"And that other one, with the greasy hair." Red adds.

"Ew yeah." Lola scrunches up her nose. "And the one with the lazy eye."

"I wasn't really judging on physical appearance." I interject. "Although that girl was very large... None of them can do the tricks this team requires."

"Perhaps we can just keep the team as it is?" Red suggests.

"Nah, we need the right numbers to do quadrant lifts." I bite my lip. "We need another member at least."

"Well we've still got a few left to audition." Lola scans her booklet. "Let's give her chance."

"Next please?" I call and the door swings open. We all gasp as a gorgeous looking boy walks into the hall. "Ehem, the football tryouts are outside."

"I know." He smiles and I melt a little inside. "I'm here for the cheerleading squad."

There is silence as we all take time to gather our thoughts. A boy on the cheerleading squad? I don't think we had ever had that before in the South Park Cows. But he was eye candy for the girls so I was prepared to give it a shot.

"Ok, fire away." I wink at him and he begins his routine as Red and Lola nudge me, telling me not to flirt when I have a boyfriend.
His routine consists of a variety of tricks that are all very well executed, in fact, he is better than the majority of people currently on the squad. When he finishes we all stand up and applaud him. "Well..."

"Ryan." He inserts.

"Ryan, that was a stunning performance." I tell him. "We would like to invite you to join the South Park Cows. Practice starts next Tuesday after school."

"Bebe, I thought we were supposed to discuss the candidates before we select them" Red whispers.

"Did you watch that routine?" I snap at her. "That was miles better than the rest of the candidates put together."

"Thank you very much." He gives a slight cough to remind us he is still here.

"What year are you in?" I blurt out. I had been wondering this since he walked in. He was much too tall to be a Freshman but I had never seen him around before.

"Erm, I'm a junior." He explains. "But I'm new to the school, I moved over from Russell, Alabama over summer break."

"Awesome." I mutter and stand to shake his hand. "Well welcome to the team Ryan, we hope to see you Tuesday."

"Thank you again." He shakes my hand and exits.

"He's totally into me." I gush, Red and Lola immediately pouncing on me.

"Bebe! What would Kenny say?" Lola gasps and I give her a look.

"Just because I have a boyfriend doesn't mean I can't go window shopping." I laugh, this was going to be a good year.