Aaron had spent all week since the trial inside. Nobody had said anything, asked him why he hadn't stepped a foot outside. The weather had been bleak and miserable, chucking it down mid way through, so that was maybe why nobody had said a thing. Who would want to go out in that sort of weather if not for work or the shops? Jackson had returned to work Monday and each time he'd returned home he'd been exhausted, too exhausted to suggest going to the pub or into town for a drink. He had been doing over time, making up for the many hours he'd taken off the week before. So Aaron had yet to venture into the village.
"Aaron, I'm just going over to laurels." Hazel called through to Aaron from the bottom of the stairs as she buttoned up her coat. " . . . Aaron?"
The young mechanic had fallen asleep on the sofa in the lounge whilst he'd been watching a formula one re-run, his leg propped up on the coffee table in front. A cup of tea was dangerously close to spilling it's contents onto the carpet in his grasp, before Hazel swept in and rescued the carpet from a stubborn stain. She placed the cup of luke warm tea on the coffee table and took a throw from the back of the other sofa. She draped the throw gently over Aaron and crept back out the room, on her way to Laurel's for a cup of tea.
Less than an hour later, Aaron awoke with a start. His breathing fast and uneven as his mind reeled from the images in his dream. He wiped away a thin film of sweat from his face and threw back the throw that had been covering him. He'd been locked inside a dream with Darrel again. It hadn't been the first dream he'd had that contained Darrel, but it still didn't assure him or help shrug off the horrible feeling he had growing in the pit of his stomach after each nightmare. They were getting worse and harder to get over the haunting grip they held over him afterwards. H could smell Darrel's aftershave as he sat trying to compose himself. He knew Darrel hadn't stepped foot inside while he'd been sleeping, every door and window was locked, but he still felt uneasy.
Inside his dream he was back on the roadside again, inside the cabin of the pick up truck. He was on his back, the gear stick digging painfully into his lower back and Darrel was forcing himself onto him again. The older man's hands ivaded his space, creeping over his skin and tearing at his clothes, impatient and desperate to get his hands on the teen. Aaron could remember it all clearly, the smell of the upholstery mixed with oil and Darrel's breath. . .It made his skin crawl. Unlike in reality, Aaron couldn't fight Darrel off. He kept advancing, holding him down with his larger body pinning him beneath him as he continued to tear at his clothes and skin. Rough, ugly kisses were planted violently on the side of his head or neck as he kept thrashing his head from side to side. None of the fight Aaron put up was any match against the larger older man, it was futile. Instead of Aaron, spotting the cash tin and grabbing it to smack Darrel over the head, it was Darrel who grabbed it, sending a heavy blow to the side of Aaron's head. His world went black as he felt hot liquid trickle down the side of his head into his face.
He instinctively reached up a hand to where Darrel hit him in his dream the cash tin, to check if there was any blood.
"Aaron, I'm back!" Jackson shouted form the front door, making the young mechanic jump in surprise.
The cup of tea, that had been relocated by Hazel earlier to save the carpet, got the brunt of the shock. Her efforts had been in vain, as Aaron's leg knocked into the cup knocking it to the floor, spraying tea all over the carpet.
"Shit!" Aaron cried out as he scrambled off the sofa and grabbed the box of tissues from the table.
"Nice to see you to." Jackson teased from his boyfriends response as he sat down in the kitchen to pull off his work boots.
Aaron threw himself to the floor and began soaking up the rapidly appearing stain with Kleenex. Just what he needed, Paddy was going to go mad!
"Aaron what happened?" Jackson asked as he stood in the doorway.
"Knocked my tea over." Aaron snapped as he continued to scrub at it, making it worse. Wasn't it obvious what he'd done? "I'm so stupid!"
"Aaron, leave it. I'll do it." Jackson said stepping into the room and kneeling beside Aaron. The teen was making it worse.
Aaron ignored him and continued the cleaning the carpet.
"Aaron." Jackson said more sharply. "You're making it worse, let me."
"Aaron dropped the bunch of tissues in his hand at the older man's order. "I think I might grab a shower, while you do that. . ." He mumbled, feeling a strong need to wash away his nightmare.
Jackson stood and held out a hand to help Aaron up. "Go do that and I'll get tea on the go." He said. "What do you fancy? A curry?"
Aaron nodded. He wasn't bother about what they ate right now. He just wanted to get in the shower and wash away the horrible hold his dream had over him.
Jackson carefully mopped up the spilt tea with a few cleaning sprays and the hover until there was no trace of it of ever happening before making a start on their curry. He was waiting for Aaron to finish in the shower before he could dish up. He let the curry simmer in the pan as he sat at the kitchen table, flicking through on of Aaron's car magazines he'd left lying around to pass the time. When he finished mindlessly looking through the glossy pages, Jackson checked his watch. The young mechanic had been over an hour upstairs, showering and changing.
"Aaron?£ Jackson called up the stairs. He thought he'd heard the shower shut off forty minutes ago. It barely took Aaron five minutes to throw on a t-shirt and trackies, never half an hour. When he didn't get a response from the younger man, panic spiked in the back of the builders mind. What if he'd fallen over and banged his head? Aaron wasn't that graceful on his crutches even after a couple of months to grow accustom to them. "Aaron?" Jackson repeated as he headed for the stairs.
The bathroom was empty as he peered inside. Small puddles of water on the floor by the shower and a damp beige towel discarded on the side were the only signs of Aaron he could find. Jackson grabbed the towel to mop up the puddles and placed it in the laundry basket by the door before switching off the light and heading across the hall to the teen's bedroom. He didn't bother to knock as he walked in, Aaron had had plenty of time to dress and if he wasn't, well. . . it was nothing he hadn't seen before. Aaron was sitting on the edge of the bed, a loose pair of sweatpants covering his legs and hooded sweatshirt hastily pulled over his body.
"You alright? You've been ages." Jackson commented as he stood leaning against the door frame.
Aaron nodded his head. "Yeah, sorry." He answered. "Still a bit difficult showering with this." He added knocking a hand against his cast.
Jackson eyed him carefully, Aaron had been off since he'd gotten back from work. "If you're sure." Jackson said eventually. "Tea's a little over done now but I'm sure it tastes the same."
Aaron got his feet as he said. "Sorry."
The rice was over cooked, soft and sticky and the curry was a little burnt but all was eaten without complaint. They sat in the lounge watching a comedy sketch as they ate, tucked up together on one of the sofas. Through the whole meal Jackson watched Aaron, for any signs of concern, but none were seen. He seemed perfectly fine, laughing along to the comedy sketch in front of them. Every so often he'd catch the teen snatching the sleeves of his hooded sweatshirt over his hands and screwing them up in his fists. It was just something Aaron done when he was tired, nothing to alert Jackson to start worrying. He'd spent enough time recently watching Aaron, waiting for him to break. Strangely, it seemed as though as he was coping. There was the odd moment once in a while and that seemed to be it, as far as he was aware.
That night as they both laid in bed, Jackson rolled over to Aaron snaked a hand over his boyfriends stomach to hook him closer. It was getting colder now at night and he knew how cold Aaron got sometimes, he seemed to be the warmer of the two. He didn't want to alert Aaron, push him further than he was ready for. Since everything with Darrel they had been taking things slow again, holding each other now and again and little kisses. The last thing he wanted to do was pressure the young mechanic into anything he wasn't ready for, he was content to just hold him at night.
"We should go for a drink later on this week." Jackson mumbled into Aaron's neck as he snuggled closer, warming the teen's neck with his breath. "You must be doing your not being stuck in here all day. I know I would."
"I don't mind. I'm not out there in the rain working on stupid cars on the forecourt while Cain and Debbie keep warm and dry in the garage." Aaron yawned. "I'm not complaining."
Jackson laughed, slipping his warm hands underneath Aaron's t-shirt, just to feel closer. "Don't worry, you'll soon be back to work in the rain doing double to pay back Cain." The builder smirked.
"Yeah, whatever." Aaron sighed; he was dying to get back to work. Just for something to do.
"Whatever." Jackson mimicked childishly, running his hand across Aaron's flat stomach, causing the teen to hiss and flinch back.
In the dark Jackson raised an eyebrow, pulling back his hand from underneath Aaron's t-shirt. Curious, Jackson rolled over, flicked on the bedside lamp and rolled back to face Aaron, waiting for answers. He patted the duvet back to their hips and went to lift Aaron's shirt but the teen stopped him, hands firm on his, his eyes boring into his pleading for him to not go any further. He was worried now. What was it that Aaron didn't want Jackson to see? Had he just hurt him?
"Aaron." Was all he had to say before Aaron loosened his hold and allowed the older man to continue lifting his t-shirt. He hitched the dark green t-shirt up to the teen's chest.
His skin was red raw. There were patches of sore skin across the young mechanics stomach. It made Jackson winced as he looked at the soreness of Aaron's pink stomach. He reached out a hand to take a closer, hesitating with his hand hovering above Aaron's abdomen. Some of them looked like they had once been bleeding. He looked up to his boyfriend's face for permission, but he was looking anywhere but at Jackson, his eyes searching all over the room. He couldn't help himself, he gently skimmed his fingers lightly across the angry blotches. Some of them even marred his skin below the waist band of his sweatpants and others trailed up the side of his ribcage.
Aaron tried not to hiss in pain as Jackson carefully looked. He just watched as the builder ever so lightly ran his fingers across each piece of skin he had scrubbed clean. It hurt. It hurt an awful lot, and he wished he hadn't gone so mad in the shower with scrubbing at his skin. He hadn't been able to stop himself though. He had wanted to feel clean again and he wasn't going to stop at anything until he did. He couldn't feel how hard he'd been scrubbing, to consumed by the need to rid himself of Darrel's touch.
"Aaron." Jackson whispered gently this time. "What have you done?" He couldn't believe what the teen had done.
Aaron shrugged pulling his t-shirt down.
"Is that . . . Is that it? Is there anymore anywhere else?" The builder question looking concerned at the teen.
Aaron debated on telling him the truth or not. He was already looking at him as if he was going to burst into a million pieces. He didn't want to worry his boyfriend anymore than he had don already but no doubt he would find out sooner or later and that would cause more drama later on.
"Babe." Jackson breathed when caught Aaron nodding slightly.
He watched as the younger man pulled up his slightly longer sleeves on his t-shirt that came half way down his upper arms, revealing more angry marks were he'd scrubbed violently at his skin.
"Why?" He asked. He needed to know, to hear from Aaron.
Aaron shrugged again, struggling to speak. "I wanted to feel clean."
Jackson couldn't help the tears from threatening to fall, months after it happened and Aaron still didn't feel safe and clan. He held back his emotions that were fighting to break out and pulled Aaron closer to him, planting a kiss to the top of Aaron's head before his forehead and then his lips. He wrapped his arms around the younger man and tugged the duvet up to their shoulders.
"You don't need to do this to yourself. He's caused you too much pain without you making any more for yourself." Jackson told him firmly. "I'm gonna help you forget."
"-But how?" Aaron muffled into Jackson's chest. "I can still feel his hands on me. Every time I close my eyes he's there."
"We're going to get through this. I'm gonna make sure we do." Jackson promised. "I don't know how yet, but we will, you deserve at least that."
"I wouldn't hold your breath.
A/N – Thanks guys for the feedback, it means so much to know what you think, and it reassures me that people are still interested in reading this. Hope you enjoy it. Might do a Christmas one shot for these two this year, you never know! So watch this space.