Author's Note: Finally, Chapter Eighteen! First off, Happy Fall! Yay! I love fall time. I am just all around a much happier person when its dark and gloomy outside, not that that doesn't sound morbid or anything, in all honesty heat and I just aren't on the same page. Anyways, I hope that you all enjoy this chapter, let me know what you think. And bestie, don't kill me lol, had to throw you for a loop somewhere. As always, Read/Enjoy/Review!

Chapter Eighteen: Coming Home…

" There's no place like home…sometimes."-Anonymous.

XXXX

" Brae," the sound of my name being whispered stirs me from my sleep, and cautiously I open my eyes.

" Oh God," I groan, squeezing them shut because the sunshine burns and causes the headache to pound that much harder.

" Mmm, guessing that half a bottle of vodka isn't serving such an awesome purpose anymore is it?" Tyson muses, and if I could sum up the energy, without feeling like I'm going to vomit, I'd smack the smirk that I'm sure is on his lips, right off his face.

" Shut. Up."

" Hey now, I came bringing you water, Tylenol, because I'm sure your head is pounding right about now, and some dry toast," he says, rubbing his hand over my back, fingers kneading into my shoulders.

" I am never drinking. Ever, ever again," I moan into the pillow, holding my hand out for the Tylenol.

" Uh huh," he murmurs, sympathetically rubbing my arm as I sit up and swallow the pills. I lay for a few minutes in silence, enjoying the feel of his hands rubbing the ache away from my neck.

" I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten drunk like that," I murmur, my words muffled by the pillow I'm currently seeking refuge in.

" Brae, if anyone needed to get drunk like that, it's you," he whispers, fingers running through my hair.

" Tell that to my hangover," I say, eyes drifting closed as his fingers continue to work away the tension.

XXXX

I study the ring on my finger, spinning it slowly as Tyson sleeps, head pillowed on my lap, and I wonder. Wonder how it is that my marriage is falling apart, and yet, I don't feel sad. Not the deep seeded sadness I felt when Tyson broke my heart.

How is that logical?

Tyson and I had just been dating, just dating when we fell apart, and I'm still feeling the repercussions of that. Yet my marriage is in shambles and I may be hurt from the revelations of late, but honestly, I feel okay.

That's a lie.

I feel lonely. Silly really to feel alone when I'm with someone right now. I mean, Tyson is right here, sound asleep, and it wouldn't take me much to wake him, but I don't have the heart to do that.

Despite what is happening with me, all that really matters is Tyson's well being and health.

" How long was I out?" Tyson asks, blinking his eyes clear as he stares up at me.

" Not even two hours, go back to sleep," I murmur, running my fingers through his hair.

" No, I'm awake," he says, turning so that he's on his back and my arm is laying across his chest, and he starts fiddling with my fingers, " What's on your mind?"

" Too much," I say, smiling down at him when he laughs at my blunt answer.

" That's kind of a vague answer."

" It's an honest answer."

" Pick just one thing your thinking about."

" I don't understand."

" Understand what?"

" How its possible. How it can be even the slightest bit conceivable that it hurt me more when things went bad with us, then it hurts that I'm pretty much going to go home to an empty house and divorce. How does that work?" I ask, closing my eyes.

" Do you love him?"

" Yes."

" Are you in love with him?" he asks, catching me off guard and shocking me into silence.

" Where did that come from?"

" Answer the question Brae. Are you in love with him?"

" Does it really matter? It wont change anything."

" It matters to me. Just answer me Brae, please."

I open my eyes and stare down at him, his eyes are dark and I don't understand why he's suddenly so interested in my feelings or lack thereof as far as Chase is concerned.

" Why? Why does it matter to you so much?" I ask, growing nervous when pushes himself up on his elbows, his face right in front of mine.

" Please," he pleads and I let out a breath.

" No, I'm not," I whisper, and suddenly he's there. His lips on mine, his fingers diving into my hair, and I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should kiss back, I want to kiss back, everything inside of me tells me I should kiss back.

So... I kiss back.

XXXX

I lay, curled into Tyson, smiling as I run my fingers over his chest.

" I should feel bad," I whisper, laying my head on my hands looking up at him. I shake my head when he just smiles, eyes closed, completely relaxed, " I really should feel bad."

" Why?"

" Because, even if my marriage is going down the toilet, I am still married." Before I can stop him he lifts my left hand and slides the ring off my finger.

" Now your not," he says laughing as I stare in shock when he tosses the ring across his bedroom, " And if that doesn't convince you that your guilt is misplaced, maybe round two would be more convincing."

XXXX

Ten days. How can ten days go by so fast? Of course the fact that the last six of them were hardly spent out of Tyson's bed, probably didn't help the time go any slower. I stand in the airport, my hand linked causally with Tyson's, and I honestly feel like I'm going to cry. Somewhere in the last six days, since finding out about Chase's deception, Tyson healed me.

Took the broken pieces and just put them back together again, and I'm terrified that being away from him will just make everything fall apart. I'm in dangerous territory here. And I know it. I feel it. Hell, part of me is willing to jump head first into the danger if it means I get to be just a little bit closer to him.

" I'll be back in L.A in no time," Tyson says, handing my suitcase off to be checked onto the plane, " And then we can…"

" We can what Ty? I know this is probably absolutely hands down the worst time to bring this up, but I need to know. I need to know what we're doing," I say, lowering my eyes, " I don't want to get my hopes up about us. About you. About whatever this is that's between us, but I need to know that I have something to hold onto."

" Brae," he murmurs, lifting my face to look at him, and he kisses me, a sweet light kiss that leaves my head swimming just a little, and more than anything wishing for more, " Hold onto that. Call me when you get home."

" I will," I whisper, letting go of his hand as I step into line, and I watch, waving goodbye as he walks away and I hope to God that letting him back in doesn't end up hurting me in the end.

XXXX

Part of me was relieved when Evy listened to me and wasn't waiting for me at the airport. Instead, my car was waiting for me right where she said it would be, and I'm grateful. Grateful, because the only way I'm going to get through any of this is if I learn to stand on my own.

I sit in the driveway of my house, staring at the car parked in my spot in the garage, and all ready I can feel my blood boiling. Stupid really to get upset over something so small in the grand scheme of things, but seriously? In my spot? As if it wasn't bad enough that this woman just popped up in my life and turned everything upside down, but she is seriously going to park on my side of my garage? I push out of my car and with a deep breath go in to the house.

The television blares loudly in the front room, and sitting on the couch I see why. A lanky, teenage boy with a cap of shaggy blonde hair sits, eyes glued to his phone. He looks up, and I stop, frozen by the fact that it's Chase's eyes staring back at me.

" You must be my step-mom. Your kind of hot," the boy says, eyes automatically going back to his phone.

" Braelyn," Chase's voice snaps me out of my thoughts, and I find myself staring at him. The dark smudges under his eyes tells me that he hasn't been sleeping, and maybe, if the situation were different, I'd feel guilty for that.

" Chase. I thought you weren't going to be he…is that my shirt?" I ask, staring at the willowy blonde woman who stands, teary eyed just behind him, " Wow, you sure didn't waste anytime did you? Okay, I'm just going to get some things together, and tomorrow when your at work, I'll pack the rest of my things, and no one, not any of you will be here."

" Braelyn, wait," Chase calls after me as I take the steps two at a time to get away from him, " We're going to have to talk about this."

" There's nothing to talk about," I say to him as I pull an empty suitcase from the closet and set it open on the bed, blindly shoving things in.

" I didn't sleep with her. I mean, I have, but not in years," he says, and I roll my eyes shaking my head, " She's in your shirt because she spilled her wine all down the front of hers, and I didn't want her just sitting around in her bra, while I washed it."

" I'm sure."

" Oh come on. Even if I did sleep with her, which I didn't, can you honestly say you didn't sleep with Tyson while you were out there playing nurse? Bet all of this mess served as an excellent excuse to open your legs for him again."

" Your right. I did sleep with him, but only after I found out about your ex-wife and son!"

" You just couldn't wait could you? You know, your supposed to wait for a period of time after an abortion to engage in sexual intercourse," he spits at me, and I feel the blood drain from my face as I turn to look at him.

" What the hell are you talking about?" I demand, and I watch as he takes a piece of mail off the dresser.

" This came in the mail while you were gone. An abortion, really Brae? Did you think I would never find out?" he throws the paper at me, and I fight the tears and bubbling anger.

" You don't know what the fuck your talking about Chase," I say, shaking my head at him.

" Bullshit. The proof is right there in front of me. You aborted our child!"

" I had a miscarriage! I lost the baby, I didn't kill the baby, I lost the baby, our baby! After you came to the hospital and ranted and raved about me being a whore, and how could I just leave to be there for Tyson. I was so stressed out from being torn between doing what I know, what I felt was right, and what you expected of me, that it killed our baby! And I dealt with it, on my own. On my fucking own! You weren't there! You didn't go through it with me! All because you felt that somehow I was wrong, when all of this fucking time you hid from the fact that you had been married before me and had a child! We fought about having kids, and when you suddenly changed your mind and said you wanted to have children with me, I felt so guilty. I felt so bad because I thought, would I want to have a baby in the world that was really only wanted by one of it's parents? For a while, I thought, I'd be okay, I'd find a way to be okay if we didn't have babies together. That somehow I'd be able to do that for you. Then, then I found out I was pregnant, and lost the baby, and you weren't there. You weren't there. I finally figured it out, it isn't that you don't want children, you just don't want them with me. So, think whatever you want. Think that I'm a whore, or that I've been looking for a way out of our marriage from the beginning, I really don't care. Because what it all comes down to is this. You ruined us Chase. You broke us, not me. You lied, and you deceived, not me. For all I care you can pick up right where you left off with your first wife, or you can go to hell, all I know is I don't want to be around you, I cannot be around you right now."

" Brae! Braelyn!" Chase calls after me as I race down the stairs, and I nearly run the blonde haired woman over once I hit the bottom.

" Braelyn…" she says, and I hold my hands up, shaking my head as the tears run freely down my face.

" You can have him, you two can share this house, share your lives, I, I really just cant do this."

XXXX

I let myself into the house that Evy and I once shared, and unceremoniously drop my suitcases to the floor. The lights are on, and I'm glad to know that a familiar and friendly face is here.

" Honey, I'm home," I call out, unbuttoning my black coat, laying it over the back of the couch, " Evy?"

I follow the music, finding the door to the guest room open a crack as music pours through it and I push it open, smiling as I lean against the doorway, Evy's back to me as she sits in front of a canvas.

" Hey beautiful," I say and she jumps turning to me, eyes wet as big tears roll down her cheeks, " Evy, Evy what's the matter."

" I'm pregnant," Evy says, hiccupping over her tears and I feel my head swim, " I'm pregnant Brae."

Part of me hurts, a deep seeded ache that I quickly smother as I make my way across the room and gather my best friend close, letting her cry her emotions out on my shoulder.

XXXX

" He's happy, ecstatic actually," Evy says, taking another bite of ice cream talking over it, " And I guess somewhere deep down inside I am too. More than anything though, I'm scared."

" Of what?" I ask, looking over at her my head resting on my knees.

" Screwing up. I mean come on, nowadays people have kids and nine times out of ten the kid ends up growing up and hating you."

" Yours wont. Your going to be an amazing mom, and Jared's going to be an amazing dad. And well lets face it, I'm going to be the best Aunt, ever."

" I'm glad you have so much faith in me."

" Of course I do. I mean look at us Evy. Our parents didn't screw us up. They were amazing. You'll be amazing."

" God, I hope your right."

" I usually am."

" Okay, so when are you going to tell me about how things are in Brae's world?" she asks, and I let out a sigh.

" Confusing. Scary. Heartbreaking. I uh, I slept with Ty."

" What?"

" I slept with Ty. A lot actually, and I mean, I'm hurt. I'm hurt by everything that's come to to light with Chase, but somehow, I'm more scared about what is going to happen with Tyson, than I am over my looming divorce. God, I'm such a bad person."

" No your not. Your not a bad person at all. You were just with the wrong person. You belong with Tyson. Everyone knew that, except for you. Yes, Tyson hurt you, and I can still strangle him for that on a good day whenever I think about what you went through, but even underneath all the anger I always knew you and him belonged together."

" So why in the hell did you let me marry Chase?" I ask, surprised by her confession.

" Honestly, because I thought that you were never going to be able to forgive Tyson. I thought you were always going to hold onto that, and never let it go. And I was hoping, that Chase would at least make you happy enough to survive and have a good life, but when he told you he didn't want kids I knew that things were going to go downhill."

I bury my face in my knee's, shoulders shaking as the tears come.

" Brae? Honey, what's wrong?"

" Something happened. In Florida."

" What are you talking about?"

" When you and Jared came to bring me my things, I wasn't gone. I was in the hospital."

" Well, why didn't you see us then?" she asks confused and I lift my face to hers.

" I was in the hospital Evy." I watch as her eyes cloud over before clearing with understanding.

" What happened?" she asks lightly, taking my hand in hers.

" I had a miscarriage."

" What? Damn it Brae! And you didn't tell me, until now? What kind of shit is that?" she demands, and I shake my head.

" I don't know. I just, I needed time. Time to come to terms. I knew if you were told that you wouldn't have left, and that somehow you'd turn it all around and I would have ended up going home rather than staying, and if I had stayed well then I would have found out about Chase's ex-wife and son first hand, and that just wouldn't have gone over well."

" You still should have told me."

" I just did."

" You know what I mean. How. How far along were you?"

" Nine weeks."

" Our babies would have been a month apart, give or take," she whispers, and I nod my head, tears sliding down my cheeks, " I'm so sorry Brae. I'm so sorry."

XXXX

I stare at my phone, smiling at the words on the screen.

' I miss you like crazy.'

Tyson.

Funny that it would take so much for me to realize who my heart belongs to, who its belonged to from the start. Why is that? That it takes so much bad to happen for you to open your eyes and realize what's been right in front of you from the start?

I guess that's life though.

I don't know much, but I know that I don't plan on letting go again.

He has my heart, and I'm just fine with that.

I think.