Chapter 12:
Cartman PoV
Lying on the couch was the only thing I could do right now to stop myself feeling like I was going to collapse. My stomach ached so much, it felt as if I was in labour. I had spent lunchtime today in the toilets again, but Tweek and Clyde had been in the cubicles taking dumps for about half an hour. So I had to hang around by the urinals, which Jason had taken the wrong way when he had tried to do a piss. The most annoying thing though, had been the smell of fries wafting in from the cafeteria, which resulted in me banging my head against the wall to resist the temptation. This was so fucking hard. I was obviously eating small amounts, I was going to build up to completely starving myself, but every mouthful of food just felt wrong. I could hear the fat jokes with every bite I took, it seemed my stomach was begging for food but my body was rejecting it. I had to keep pushing though, I was sure that with time, it would get easier. Hopefully…
The doorbell sounds, which suddenly makes me jump. I was not in a position to get up right now. I don't think I could get up right now. "Meeeeeem, someone's at the door!" I whine, trying to look slightly casual and not like I was dying.
"Coming hun." She calls in her usual bright tone. She was like my pet dog; I click my fingers and she comes running. She crosses in front of me to answer our front door. "Eric, it's your little friend; Butters."
Butters? What did he want? "Send him in." I sigh, I could try and get rid of him quickly.
"Well, hey Eric." He greets, kneeling next to the couch as I probably take up most of it. My mom disappears back into the kitchen.
"What do you want?" I snap and he begins to bash his knuckles together. God that irritated me. Stop. Stop. Stop bashing them together. "What do you want Butters?" I repeat, angrily.
"Well uh… I just wondered whether you wanted to go out tonight." He stammers. Go out? What did he mean by 'go out' exactly?
"What do you mean?" I screw my nose up.
"Erm, well… my dad you see, he says there is this deal on at Shakey's." He informs me. Shakey's? Yeah I wasn't going there in a million years. "It's like, a buy one get one free thing… And well, I wondered if you wanted to go?"
"…That's a bit weird." I tell him and he looks confused. God he was so naive. "You and me, going out for a meal… just the two of us? Butters, it'll be like 'Super Phun Time' all over again."
"Well… I suppose." He bows his head, embarrassed. "I'm sorry I didn't think…"
"Eric, does your little friend want to stay for dinner?" Mom asks from the kitchen. Shit, dinner. Think of an excuse... "We're having southern fried chicken."
"Um… Butters and I are going out..." I yell suddenly and then hear it back. "For a meal. Not like… that…"
"But Eric, you just said-" Butters begins but I cut him off.
"But I'll see you later." I interrupt. Ok, this was good. I could just have a glass of water. Mom would think I was eating a meal and everything would be fine.
"Ok hun." She says. "Do you need some money?"
"…Er, no that's ok, I've got some." I lie, that way I couldn't be tempted. "Come on Butters let's go."
I practically drag him out of the house, my stomach doing somersaults as I did so, my head spinning with it.
Kyle PoV
"Ok, so everything is going to be fine." I stress, partly to myself and partly to Sian, who is stood by my side outside Shakey's. "Your name is Cady, remember that? Not Sian, Cady. We'll just get through this evening and then I will tell them we broke up or something."
"But I broke up with you." She decides. "That way it is more realistic."
"…Thanks." I roll my eyes, God I was nervous. "Right, ok, come on then."
She follows me through the restaurant until I see my friends sat in a square booth. Wendy and Stan were sat on the left hand side and Bebe and Kenny were at the back.
"Hi guys." I greet and they all turn to look at me. Their faces drop instantly when they notice Sian, as I expected. "This is Cady, my girlfriend." This was wrong on so many levels.
"Hiya, nice to meet you." She waves, sweetly. I have got to give it to her, she is a good actress. Everyone sits there in silence, glancing from me to her repeatedly. They all then exchange a look with one another. It did look ridiculously unrealistic; no way would I ever pull a girl like Sian, but I was enjoying them believing it all the same.
"I'm sure they are pleased to meet you too." I raise my voice and they all snap into action.
"Um, yeah, nice to meet you Cady." Stan looks her up and down, smirking, which results in him receiving a death stare from Wendy.
"Sit down." Bebe indicates to the right side of the booth and we both take our seats awkwardly. "Well I've got to say, you're… beautiful."
Kenny gives her a similar look to Wendy's but then nods in approval. "Yeah, so you two are like together? Seriously?"
"Do you mind Kenny?" I snap and Sian lets out a slight giggle. "Oh yeah sorry, this is Stan and his girlfriend Wendy, they have been together since Elementary school. We call them Romeo and Juliet, or they like to think so and this is Kenny and his girlfriend Bebe. They have only been together for a couple of months, serious relationships aren't her type of thing. They call themselves Barbie and Ken; probably because Bebe is plastic and Kenny's… Well 'Ken'."
"Creative." Sian nods.
"Rude." Bebe corrects her. "No need to show off in front of your girlfriend Kyle."
I wince at it again, ever so slightly so no one notices and decide to change the subject. "Right, shall we order food?"
"Hold on!" Wendy yelps as I pick up the menu. "Let's all just chat first, there's no rush."
"Ok…" I mutter, putting the menu down.
"So, how did you two meet?" Bebe asks Sian, excitedly and Stan and Kenny groan with boredom. We had agreed that I would do all of the talking, which could be awkward as she wasn't directing the question at me.
"We met at a Wall Mart in Denver." I answer, I had this all planned out. "I went with my dad one day and we met in the tinned fruit aisle."
"Right…" Bebe frowns. "Romantic."
"Are you originally from Denver?" Wendy questions. "Only you sound quite Eastern to me, not to sound rude or anything."
"She moved to Denver last summer." I interrupt again and they both look quite agitated.
"Ok Kyle." Bebe interjects. "I'm sure Cady can answer for herself."
"Yeah, talk to Stan about his football match." Wendy suggests.
"Oh yeah, how did that go man?" I ask, maybe this would change the subject. His eyes have moved from Sian's tits at the mention of his name.
"Um, yeah good." He nods. Ok, that was weird, it wasn't like Stan to short-talk football.
"Well, did you win?" I prompt.
"Yeah dude!" He perks up a bit, bumping fists with Kenny.
"Five minutes to go, Stan Marsh, perfect touch down." Kenny hypes. "Wins at life. It was ace."
"Ok, no one cares about that." Bebe shushes him, clearly bored already. "So Cady, you live with both your parents?" There was a silence, I hadn't thought about this one.
She took the hint and answered for herself. "Um, just my mother." She smiles. "I never knew my dad. My mom always wanted a change of scene so we moved over to Denver so she could work there." Ok, that's enough. "I've been attending a public school for a year there now, all the guys sprung on me at first, but Kyle is my first real love." Oh well done, idiot.
"Ahh, so you guys are in love?" Wendy claps her hands excitedly. This was getting too far out of my comfort zone.
"Uh, yeah." I nod, trying not to pull a face whilst I said it. I just dig my fingers into my arm under the table instead.
"But you still haven't slept together?" Bebe's eyes widen. Ew, no, let's not get onto that.
"Um… no." Sian hesitates, realising she hadn't waited for me to answer the question.
"Oh well we can give you lots of pointers for when you do." Stan sits up instantly. Wait what?
"What?" I panic.
"For starters, he has a pretty big dick." Kenny blurts out. "He had it snipped, you know, at birth, because he is Jewish. So it makes it bigger."
"That's not the reason I had a Bris…" I inform her. "It's part of the religion."
"But more fun for you." Stan points out. I see Sian gulp with disgust. No, stop, now. I think repetitively.
"Stan!" Wendy shrieks, hysterically. "Not at the table, that's disgusting!"
"Yeah, let's just…" I start.
"He shaves too, which is always good." Kenny continues. "Well it depends on your preference." This was the worst idea I have ever had. I needed an excuse to stop this conversation. Sian coughs awkwardly. Think of something Kyle.
"Hey is that Cartman and Butters?" Stan pipes up, pointing over to the entrance. Yes, Stan saves the day. Cartman and Butters had arrived… Wait… Cartman? "CARTMAN?" Stan yells and I panic internally. Shit, no.
"Stan, keep your voice down." Wendy frets. "Why do you want to see him anyway?"
"I want to know why he is at couple's night with Butters." Stan sniggers. Cartman turns his head to where we are sitting and tries to avoid us, but Butters is pulling him over before we know it.
"Hey cuties!" Kenny teases as they arrive at our table.
"You could think of a less gay greeting Kenny." Cartman mutters.
"Oh, I think you are the ones who are gay." Kenny points out. "Dinner for two, is it?"
"Shut up." Cartman yells. "We're just having dinner here, that's all."
"What on couple's night?" Stan frowns.
"Couple's night?" Cartman repeats, looking confused. "What the…"
"There is a deal on; buy one get one free." Bebe prompts.
"Yeah, that's what we are here for." Butters nods, thinking he is covering his tracks.
"Yeah…" Stan gestures to the menu. "The deal is for couples."
They all burst out laughing at Cartman's shocked expression and then I see him turn on me. Shit, don't say anything. Don't say anything.
"Well it's not as bad as bringing you cousin." Cartman scoffs. Fuck. "That's sick dude."
"What?" Kenny laughs at him, as if he has gone crazy.
"Sian, is it?" Cartman remembers. "You were very rude the other day on the doorstep, I must say."
"Um…" Sian attempts to come up with some excuse. Everyone is staring at us now, confused.
"It's Cady." I try to cover but Cartman is adamant.
"No…" He objects. "You said cousin Sian."
"Cousin Sian?" Stan repeats. "Who's 'cousin Sian'?"
"Kyle's cousin…" Cartman trails off, pointing to my 'girlfriend' who is looking extremely awkward. I stare down at the table, having nothing to say. But Cartman has clocked it. "Oh-ho." He grimaces, his face looking as if lunch and dinner had been rolled into one. "I see… That's low Kyle, even for you."
At this point Sian jumps up and runs out of the restaurant before being humiliated any further. I look up to see my friend's staring at me with open mouths.
"…Kyle?" Wendy looks disgusted, I was pretty certain I was the colour of a tomato right now. "…She's your cousin?"
"…Yeah." I whisper, looking up at Cartman who is practically dancing with glee.
"What the fuck Dude." Kenny begins to laugh again. I felt like crying. "Why would you do that?"
A tear drops from my eye without my consent and I am instantly up and running away from the table. This was honestly the most embarrassing moment of my life. I practically collapse on the sidewalk outside, balling my eyes out and being judged by passers-by.
Stan PoV
"Sorry to ruin your evening." Cartman bows curtly, clearly pleased with his achievement.
"You didn't, thanks for the entertainment." Bebe giggles and Kenny bursts out laughing again.
"Fuck off Cartman." I tell him defensively and he leaves without question. "Stop laughing you two, it's not funny."
"It is!" Bebe objects. I could see Kenny was a bit more sensitive but she was leading him astray. "Did you see how awkward he looked?"
"Oh my God, we were talking about the sex stuff too!" Kenny chips in and they high five.
"How pathetic is he?" Bebe exclaims through the fits of laughter.
"Bebe, that's horrible." Wendy scolds. I was glad to see she was acting maturely.
"What? He is! Pretending his cousin is his girlfriend?" She smirks. "He deserves it."
"Ok, that's enough." I bang my fist on the table before getting up.
"Where are you going?" Wendy asks me.
"To find Kyle." I reply. "Where do you think?"
I leave the restaurant without another word. The fresh air hitting me suddenly. It doesn't take me long to spot Kyle, sitting and wiping his eyes on the edge of the road. 'Sian' was nowhere to be seen. I felt bad for him, sat there like a lost little kid.
"Hey." I whisper as I sit down next to him and he looks away from me, ashamed. "You ok?"
"Do you think I'm ok?" He asks, weakly. "I'm an idiot." He raises his voice. "AN IDIOT!" He throws a rock aggressively into the road and I shush him.
"You're not an idiot Kyle." I empathise. "You're human. We've all done stupid things. I just wish you had told me you felt left out before hand, you still could have joined us, avoided the… humiliation."
"Yeah well I am humiliated." He snaps, defensively. "I bet they're all having a good laugh."
"…No." I lie. "We all care about you. I care about you."
He looks at me then, long and hard, for about ten seconds. Not avoiding eye contact. It is as if he is staring straight through my eyeballs to read my thoughts inside my head. Then he looks away again, quickly, as if I have panicked him.
"What?" I mumble and he looks back at me and then the floor.
"Nothing." He yells, getting up. "Nothing. Just everybody leave me alone!"
He begins to run off down the road. "Don't do anything stupid." I call after him.
"I already have!" I hear him burst into tears again.
I watch him disappear into the distance and then stare out at the snow covered sidewalk on the opposing side of the street. I put my head in my hands. What a day…
Author Note: Ahhh! What an awkward scene to write. I was cringing all the way through! Hope you guys liked it though. Review?:)