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ENTRY NUMBER EIGHT
~312~
CPOV (OC but 22 years old)
It was 9:00 p.m. and Christian was seated in "The flying wish", the bar of the hotel he was staying in, it offered enough darkness and silence to get lost inside his own thoughts. He was drinking and sulking over the fact that, once again, his father didn't trust him, or didn't give him the benefit of the doubt. And once again, Elena Lincoln was the one offering what he needed. Last time was relief and control, this time money to start his own business.
He was staring at his shot of whisky and tossed the content down his throat, the strong amber liquid went down burning away the bitter taste of reality. The strong alcohol made him grimace but the warmness it provided was welcomed. He was thankful to have Elena, for her support, but he knew that what she has done for him wasn't all "good". He remembered the first time she bound him, how the panic invaded him, he could even smell the stinky cigarettes that left him marked when he was too little to fight back. Fortunately, Elena acted "nice" until he got used to it because he certainly needed those afternoons at her house to recover some control over his life.
He stopped pulling out of his inner depths such disturbing images and took another sip of the liquid fire. Well, at least someone in his life was taking a leap of faith, or felt guilty enough because seduced a minor. His face twitched with a smirk.
A loud noise interrupted his thoughts, drawing him out of himself. Some annoying group of people had arrived and marched to the back of the bar to have a loud party gathering, obliging everybody else to be part of it. He turned to look at them, they were just some young morons.
That word in his mind made him feel uneasy, young. Wasn't he young too? No, young was a concept that didn't apply to him even if he was just twenty-two. For Christian, life had been exhausting and long, that's why he dropped Harvard, couldn't take more bullshit from those spoiled and conceited boys that knew nothing about life but egotistically behaved as if they did.
He took the key card out of his pocket to see the number of his room, and yelled at the bartender pointing to his empty glass, "312." The bartender nodded, filling the glass of another customer. Christian wondered if he would end up like that man, serving others, condemned to regular jobs. Well, if things go wrong tomorrow he probably would, there was no way he was going to accept one cent from Carrick or Grace, not after the debacle he faced just because he knew what he wanted, not the same than them obviously, and his big brother Elliot was just starting his construction business.
Outside the hotel the street was empty and kind of dark, perfect to take a silent walk around the block and sober his head before calling Elena. After a few steps, he stopped, this time it was a different noise what interrupted his inner monologue, it was a sound of a scared female voice. Christian headed to that direction, that was a sound he couldn't ignore.
"No, Jose, please."
"Come on Ana, just one." The asshole insisted.
"No." That was pure angst, it made Christian shudder.
"I think the lady said no." He couldn't help it, young women in distress had that effect on him, it made him feel responsible for their safety somehow.
The boy that was forcing her into a kiss glared at Christian, the girl took advantage of the sudden interruption to run and hide behind his back.
"And who the hell are you?" The voice of the prick was threatening. Really, asshole?
"He is my cousin, Jose, he's a taekwondo black belt, you better go." Nice try, sweetheart, but that's not the way to stop a fight.
"I know your family, he's not…" This time his voice was too much for Christian's patience.
"Just fuck off and leave her alone!"
The young moron, he was probably one of them, opened his eyes surprised by Christian's tone of voice, cold and menacing. After a few seconds of the staring battle with each other without saying a word, the boy huffed a pissed off breath and went inside the hotel muttering his annoyance.
"Thank you, I didn't need your help but thank you."
Christian smirked and turned around just to meet the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen, they made it impossible to notice anything else. He was mesmerized by a clear and deep blue that made him feel as if he was drowning, he felt his soul momentarily unburdened of the darkness that had so long tormented him.
Shaking his head Christian recovered quickly. "Actually, I was helping him. Don't think he knows, though."
Tilting her head and raising an eyebrow, she regarded his face thoughtfully. He knew what would be next, female admiration then flirting. He was sure the small and pretty brunette, now he noticed more than her eyes, would be as predictable as the rest of her kind.
"Ugh!"
No, there wasn't any admiration in that grimace, more like displeasure.
What the hell?
For the first time in his life he was getting that reaction from a woman, actually it wasn't the first time but he refused to remember the woman that was supposed to love him and showed him rejection, his biological mother. Oddly, this girl looked like her but wasn't her, so maybe he had something on his teeth, or his face? Or maybe she saw my ugly soul.
Christian passed his tongue over his teeth discreetly but didn't feel anything unusual, brushed his hand over his cheeks and chin, nothing there either. Then what?
"Are you wearing makeup?"
"Makeup?"
"You know, that thing you put in your face to…"
"I know what makeup is." He barked at her, annoyed by her suggestion, or suggestions. He wanted to just go and continue his solitary walk, but also felt too curious to do it. "And no, I'm not wearing such a thing."
"I'm sorry, I'm not laughing at you, it's just… there is something about your face, it looks fake."
"Fake?" He was utterly surprised, there was nothing fake about his face, well, maybe the mask he had constructed with his own muscles and bones, always giving the impression he didn't give a fuck even if he was dying inside, like one second ago when he remembered his mother.
She studied his face again, this time she shuddered and turned her eyes away. Christian's instincts told him not to ask but curiosity is a strong impulse.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing… I have to go with my friends. Thanks again."
With one quick step he blocked her way to the door.
"Tell me."
"Why do you want me to tell you what you already know?"
And now he was sure, the girl was able to see straight through him, she was some sort of modern witch, he should run away from her.
She misread his surprise as interest and continued, "the mix of hurt and loss behind your eyes is something painful to watch."
It felt like a punch in the gut, he couldn't breathe. He swallowed hard the feeling of unsettlement, trying to recover his unaffected stance. He failed at that and it was evident because she reached over and touched Christian's face very sweetly, like if they were somehow intimate. Christian couldn't understand why his body hadn't reacted against her approaching hand, on the contrary, the warm feeling the caress unrolled on his chest was very welcomed.
"I'm sorry, it wasn't my intention to disturb you."
And with that she disappeared inside the hotel.
He pulled his own hair trying to find some relief in the painful sensation, and he finally did. He took a deep breath, gave a look to the door that engulfed her, and continued his lonely walk. She was all he could think about, the strangest experience he had ever had, even stranger than Elena kissing and slapping him that life-changing afternoon when he was fifteen years old.
She was right about something though, he knew what she was talking about. What affected him wasn't what she saw but the fact that she was able to see it. Nobody was able to see it, not even Elena or his family who saw his angriness and self-loathing. No, she saw the sad and lost boy that was thoroughly hidden deep inside him.
Christian didn't know how, but all of a sudden he was standing in front of the hotel, a few more steps and he was in front of the door that leads to the same bar he had left minutes ago. It was stronger than him, he needed to ask her how she did it, he needed to be sure that she was okay and the young moron was keeping some distance between his tongue and her mouth. If there is something everybody knows about witches, is that they all end up badly beaten by ignorance and fear, and this Millennium is still as barbaric as the previous one, if not worse.
The bar was as noisy as it was when he left, actually that was why he left, but he stepped into it discretely and sat at the counter ordering a beer. He wanted to be sober when calling Elena later that night, she wouldn't lend her husband's money to a drunken idiot, it wouldn't matter how guilty she feels. Christian really needed that money to start his Company and set him free from the Greys, the family that adopted him but had never really understood him.
He stared at the mirror in front of him, it was large, covering the entire wall surface. Glancing at his reflection he saw it, the falseness she had mentioned, and couldn't avoid a small smile. Damn, it does look like make up. Then he put his attention in the group of young morons and found her quickly. The only problem was… she found him too.
When he met her gaze, he felt drawn into her eyes, again. It was like all the myriad shades of blue swirled together to form a whirlpool of apprehension, he was being pulled into a lake of frozen emotions, frozen until her. Even from the distance he was able to feel it.
He could tell by her body language that she was NOT intimidated by the situation. That pleased him, after all he was kind of stalking her.
The bartender put the beer in front of Christian distracting him for a moment, he took a sip and looked again, she wasn't there anymore. What the…
"Are you spying on me?"
She was sat next to him, how the hell had she done it was out of his understanding.
"Are you from this world?"
All he got for answer was a laugh.
"Seriously, first reading minds and now you can fly?" The flying witch, that should be the name of the bar.
This time she snorted and remained in silence for a few seconds before calling the bartender. "I want the same he is having."
They stared at each other through the mirror, it was unnerving since he knew what she could see. "I'm just perceptive, gray-eyes, obviously you are not used to be seen."
That annoyed him. "I'm always noticed, blue-eyes."
"I said seen… Thank you." The bartender smiled and winked while putting the beer in front of her, obviously flirting, something that annoyed him even more; the bartender hadn't noticed him. It was time for a change of subject.
"Was the boy behaving? And for your information, I AM a taekwondo black belt."
The smile on her face was as bright as her eyes, also causing the same effect, it was so unique that made it impossible to perceive anything else. "He's not here, apparently he left."
Christian looked for him in the reflection of the mirror but she was right, he wasn't there. Suddenly, he felt worried about the girl. What if the moron was stalking her, waiting for a good opportunity to "attack"?
"Don't worry, Jose is harmless."
Turning to look at her, Christian frowned his irritation. "Maybe you read faces but I read voices, you were scared out there."
Her eyes wide open in surprise gave him satisfaction, finally some familiar reaction. The girl lowered her head and stared at the bottle, her voice changed to a raspy whisper that was barely audible.
"Anyway, why are you here?"
"A beer." He answered with a nonchalant voice.
Her glance went up to find his in the mirror, she didn't buy it.
"I was right, you are not used to be seen. That's why you are here."
The unsettlement came back and he couldn't understand what he was doing there, exposing his soul to her again, the soul he didn't want exposed. Someone seeing him beyond his mask was a first, and he realized he wanted to continue that path to discover where it led, so he went for honesty.
"Yes."
"There is something tormenting you restlessly, the greyness of your eyes just matches the greyness of your mind."
Another punch, the girl had a way with words that always let him breathless.
"Why are you the only one seeing it?" He wanted to know, he didn't know what for since that piece of information would be useless.
"I already told you, I'm perceptive." She took a long sip and stared at him, this time directly to his eyes. "Or maybe I'm being tormented by similar demons and just recognize them behind your makeup."
"Mask."
"What?"
"I prefer the word mask, no makeup."
"Okay." She smiled fondly at him clearly amused by his annoyance, he got blinded by the brightness of her smile once again. The sensation was pleasant, he felt it unrolling on his chest again, his untouchable chest.
"I can't see your demons though, and I AM perceptive too."
Sighing deeply she looked down. "Because I stopped hiding them, somehow they leave you alone most of the day if you ignore them, even though they are still in there."
Christian understood, the witch had defeated her demons in a way but not completely. With his index finger he lifted up her head and saw it, the sadness behind her blueness, around it. He felt the strange urgency to wipe that angst off her face.
"Ugh!"
The smile was back and Christian felt ten feet tall.
Suddenly, a blond girl was standing next to them interrupting their moment and making him dislike her. "Ana, let's go, everybody is going up."
Ana? Her name was Ana? It was too short or too simple. Christian didn't know exactly what it was, but he couldn't identify her with that name. After all, she was a witch, probably a nice one but a witch nonetheless.
"Give me one minute, Kate." The blond friend nodded, then blushed when noticed Christian's stare and smiled coquettishly.
Now, THAT was the normal reaction. She turned around hesitantly and walked to the group of morons looking back a couple of times to check if he was still staring. She was attractive but somehow that beauty paled next to… Ana's. He knew the only blond in his life would be Elena, he couldn't find them desirable anymore.
He admitted to himself that didn't like the fact that the blonde eyed the man talking to Ana, even if he needed the reassurance that the witch was the only one 'seeing' him. Wasn't there a silent agreement between friends? Maybe she wasn't Ana's friend, but it was clear that his witch needed better people around her. His witch. Yes, she was already his in a way he couldn't understand.
"She is beautiful, isn't she?"
She had obviously misunderstood his curiosity, there was also a hint of jealousy in her voice that amused Christian. She didn't want to share him.
Staring at Ana, wanting to see her reaction, he spoke slowly with a seductive voice. "You are beautiful, she is okay."
And there it was, the girl inside the witch, blushing profusely not knowing what to do with his compliment. He smirked in self-satisfaction.
Suddenly, Ana stood up and took her last sip of beer. His world was getting dark again, and he just noticed it because the momentary light was starting to fade. That realization alarmed him so he decided to let her go, not without offering his protective services first. He couldn't avoid it, the need to let an open door behind her was too strong.
"312."
"What?"
"My room, 312, if something happens and you need your cousin's help do not hesitate. 312, call me, I don't sleep."
Sighing, she caressed his arm.
"I know. Nightmares or insomnia?"
Of course she knew, that's why he came back.
"Both."
She leaned over to place a small kiss on his cheek, and Christian was again surprised by his body reaction. Every time someone tried to do that he had recoiled abruptly, instinctively, but his body wasn't afraid of the light witch, it let her do her thing enjoying the warm sensation. Weird.
"I already miss you," she whispered in his ear.
And with that, letting him shocked, she disappeared for the second time that night. He realized she was a woman he knew nothing about, a woman he didn't even know existed half an hour ago, but all that was irrelevant, he missed her too… so much.
…
…
Lying on the bed, Christian thought about the phone call that just ended. Elena told him she had gotten the money from her husband without complications, and that she was going to give it to him tomorrow in that hotel room she asked him to rent. With that arrangement, he would be able to start his own Company without much trouble. Of course, it came with a price but he wasn't surprised with Elena's "offer of support" in exchange for something she wanted from him, this was not something he hadn't done before.
He ended his sub-dom relationship with Elena six months ago, telling her he didn't want to be her submissive anymore, but he will have to do it again, at least one more day. One more Scene, a long one, was her request. He didn't feel bad about the whole deal even though he knew she was taking advantage of his vulnerable situation. He thought about this money as a loan and he was okay with giving her some hours of something he enjoyed. Actually he needed it, he'd been deprived of his sexual relief for six whole months, way too many months, and without money it was impossible for him to go to a private 'Club'.
To get in the right mood with Elena was a challenge, he was sick and tired of her routines, also wanted to try new things. Nevertheless, it shouldn't be a problem since he hadn't been with a woman for quite some time. He tried to picture Elena in her basement and suddenly a brunette-witch assaulted his thoughts diffusing Elena's image. Ana, a name he still hated, was there smiling her unique smile, making Christian smile too. Surprisingly, he noticed he was strangely aroused by the memory, which wasn't exactly helpful since he needed to be prepared for Elena.
His hand descended unconsciously, the goal, to get some relief. He was already picturing blue-eyes riding him, kissing him sweetly, touching him with her soft and warm hands, but he resisted the urge, he needed all he had for tomorrow's Scene. What also stopped him was an overwhelming confusion, everything was out of place inside his head. Why was he thinking about vanilla sex? Why on earth was he fantasizing about someone touching him?
Because his body loved her touch? Because everything about her was unique?
A knock at the door interrupted his struggle, he look at the alarm clock on the nightstand, it was midnight, 12:00 p.m. He shook his head, presumably Elena wanting to take advantage of the night. Well, the sooner, the better.
Taking a deep breath, he walked to the door wearing just his boxers, no need for formalities.
Christian opened the door and froze, the most unexpected vision was in front of him. Earlier he thought he would be happy to see Ana again but he wasn't, everything was wrong, she was showing up at his door soaking wet, bruised, and covered in glitter. Shocked, he opened the door to let her in, a cold feeling unfolding in his spine immobilized him. Someone had hurt her and he wasn't there to protect her.
She didn't move either, looking down to the floor, probably ashamed of her appearance.
"Ana, come with me please."
Grabbing her hand, he made her walk inside and sit on a couch placed next to the door. He closed it and sat next to her respecting the personal space, he knew how important it was after suffering a trauma.
"Are you okay?"
Nothing, she was in shock, still looking down. He needed to see her beautiful sky-blue lagoons to be sure she was fine.
"I know something bad just happened to you, but now you are safe. I'm here for my light witch."
After a few seconds she lifted her head, rewarding him with a weak smile. "Light witch?"
He gulped as he found himself trapped in her azure gaze, a gaze now filled with disquiet and embarrassment. Shaking his head he focuses on the task at hand, to bring her back.
"No, MY light witch."
The smile widened a little, encouraging him to insist. "Please, tell me what happened."
She closed her eyes to answer. "Jose got drunk and tried to kiss me again, while getting away from him I slipped and fell in the pool. I'm sorry if I'm ruining your room, all I had in my mind was 312."
In the pool? She fell in the pool? He pulled his hair as hard as he could trying to calm down but it was impossible, the certainty that she could have died was tormenting him too much. Standing up he paced the floor nervously, that moron needed to suffer, Christian started to imagine all the ways he would torture the asshole.
Without any warning she stood in front of him blocking his way, they stare at each other for a while until she took his face between her hands.
"I'm fine, I'm here, and I need your bathroom."
"You need a doctor!"
"Why?" Her hands leaving his face made him feel hot and cold at the same time.
"Your bruises, we need to go to the hospital." What the hell was he doing thinking about that moron when she was so hurt? That would wait until she was safe, then that asshole will be the one in the hospital.
She observed her arms surprised. "No, must be something from the walls, I was grazing them on my way down."
Stroking one of the "bruises" he confirmed it, he also confirmed the softness of her skin. Under the dirt she had something pale and deliciously delicate that he wanted to caress relentlessly.
"I really need your bathroom, I'm soaking wet."
But Christian was paralysed again, his gaze fixed on her body now exposed through a semi-transparent wet blouse. He knew it was wrong but couldn't move his eyes from her, feeling like a teenager that had never seen a naked woman that close.
"Really, grey-eyes? HEY, stop!"
Christian looked up pissed at himself, she was just assaulted by an asshole and there was another one gawking at her disrespectfully. A whisper was all he could manage, "I'm sorry, of course you can use it… there." He pointed with his nose to the bathroom's door and turned around so she wouldn't notice how much his body wanted her. It was strange, so many years learning about self-control and body-discipline with Elena, and this girl was deleting every single lesson from his mind in just one night.
His body was rebelling and taking its own decisions no matter what the brain ordered, as when he was a horny teenager full of disoriented hormones. Before Elena, there were a few girls from high-school awakening his virility, but that was very superficial and volatile, hormonal, easily solved by his own hands. This was different, her soft touch eased the old pain in him, there was no way his hands could substitute that.
He wanted her, that was for sure, he was even fantasizing about having her on top of him a few minutes ago for Christ's sake. But she didn't need that shit from him right now, so he went for his pants and turned on the TV looking for the most boring program of the night. There were a couple of pornos that he quickly changed, Christian had already a porno running in his head, one that he was trying to erase.
Must be the six months without sex, that was the only sound explanation he could find for what was happening to him.
After half an hour he was preoccupied, what the hell was she doing in there? He knocked at the door hoping she was fine, after all she fell in the pool, maybe hit her head.
"Ana, is everything alright?"
"Yes, but I have nothing to wear, I can't get out naked."
Shit, the porno again. His mind was misbehaving as much as his body.
He remembered the shirt he had brought with him, it was the only thing he took since he wouldn't need clothes for his stay at the hotel.
"I have something… might be useful."
The door was opened just enough for her arm to reach out. He passed her the shirt trying not to think of the naked body attached to that feminine arm. Closing his eyes he gathered some self-control that quickly evaporated when he saw her standing there, wearing just his shirt and an enigmatic smile. Christian's world stopped moving and rotating around the Sun, to do it around Ana. Her wild brown hair, finally free, was the perfect frame for the depth of her eyes, the eyes she lowered in embarrassment.
"Stop, please."
"I'm sorry, the glitter makes you look so special." She clearly failed at the task of removing it.
"Like a light witch?"
The playful girl was back and that made him feel better about the whole mess she just went through.
"They made it rain, that thing is very sticky."
He smiled imagining her trying to get rid of the glitter.
"You look great without your makeup, I mean… your mask."
"Do I?" Filled with self-satisfaction he smiled his devilish sexy smile, the one that had never failed before. Finally she was able to admire his charming.
"Ugh!"
What the hell? Both of them were frowning.
"What?"
"Faking again, it doesn't suit you."
And she had done it again. Rude witch, he was sulking like the teenager he was being tonight.
"Yes it does, it always works."
"What for?"
He answered with a growl. Wasn't she the witch? Then she could ask to her magic mirror.
He went to the bed and sat down leaning against the pillows, with a movement he invited her to join him. "Are you tired?"
She sat down next to him, covering her legs with the bed sheets.
Good. He was over the whole hormonal mess that assaulted him before, didn't need more of that shit. Some self-control was finally coming back.
"Yes, but I won't sleep, not after what happened. I could watch TV in silence while you sleep."
"I don't sleep, I already told you." He gave her the control of the TV.
"Then you choose." The control was back to him.
"But you are my guest."
"I'm not your guest, I just showed up."
"I told you to come here."
"Actually, you told me to call."
Now they were kids, this woman provoked strange psychological regressions. He pinched the bridge of his nose irritated. "Just accept the damned thing."
"Hey, what is your problem? I'm being nice."
She crossed her arms over her chest frowning. It was a cute gesture that made him smile inward. "And now I don't want to watch TV."
Yep, two fucking kids. Christian closed his eyes, leaning his head on the headboard. "Fine, whatever."
"Let's talk instead."
"What?" He opened his eyes alarmed, to talk with the witch wasn't a good idea, she will keep seeing things.
"Why are you staying in this hotel?"
Fuck. "Because I can. You?"
"Mm, you don't like to talk."
He sent another growl closing his eyes again. This would be a long night.
The silent sound of her eyes rolling made him open his.
"Okay, I'll start. We were celebrating our graduation."
That picked his interest, she was talking about herself. "Those morons were graduating in something?"
"Hey, they are my friends." A well-deserved snort was what she got from him.
"Friends? None of them helped you before."
"Because I didn't ask for it." She was glaring at him, obviously mad at Christian's remark.
"You asked me, and for all you know I could be a serial killer hiding in this hotel room. Still, you chose the potential serial killer over your 'friends'."
She smiled sweetly at him, and he saw the sign of DANGER inside his head. The holy trinity was his new kryptonite: the depth of her gaze, the sweetness in her smile, and the tender touch of her hands. As long as the three of them weren't combined in one, Christian was safe.
"I trust in you, I can't explain why but I do."
"Good, because you are not safe with those idiots. You could have died. Fortunately for you, you weren't drunk."
"Now you are exaggerating."
Christian straightened his back, sending her a withering look. "You fell in the pool for God's sake! Of course you could have died."
Her wide-open eyes startled him, he knew what it meant. To make it worse, she reached and grabbed one of his hands. Shit, two of three. One smile and he wouldn't respond for his acts.
"Who died?"
The fact that she clearly saw it, startled Christian even more, the witch was using all her potential to see maybe too much.
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Please, you need to do it."
"I don't. And what do you care anyway? You don't even know my name." Turning his head he stared at the off TV, shooing away some awful images from his past that were threatening to come back.
The girl then started shaking his hand as if she were greeting him. "Anastasia Steele."
Anastasia!
"Wasn't it Ana?"
"My friends prefer Ana, I prefer Anastasia."
Of course she did, that was such a perfect name, a unique name for a unique magical creature. He felt the need to let it roll through his tongue. "Anastasia… Christian Grey."
"Christian." She smiled sweetly and that was it, the holy trinity blinded him, all he could see was her, all he could feel was her sweet softness. As if they were two opposite sides of a magneto, both his hands felt irremediable attracted to her face. Her pale and soft skin blushed under his touch. He couldn't stop caressing her, this skin was so different from Elena's, her silky hair was also especial, it was like… hers.
He withdrew his hands scared at the memory that invaded his mind, his death mother, but Anastasia's eyes calmed him down.
"You need to talk about her."
"And you need to respect my wish."
A quick glance at the alarm-clock told him it was almost one o'clock.
"What about a girlfriend… or boyfriend?"
"I'm not gay, Anastasia." She blushed again and his lips twitched to hide his smile. "And no, there aren't any, don't have time for that."
"What keeps you so busy?"
"I've been studying, I have a plan in mind, it's perfect."
"Oh, how exciting!" He smiled at her sincere expression. "When are you putting it in practice?"
"Maybe tomorrow."
"I'm starting a new life tomorrow as well." Is she leaving? The possibility of her permanent absence alarmed him, he already needed her. "I got a new job, my dream job."
"Here?"
Her smirk was unsettling.
"Mhm, someone is afraid of losing his new friend."
He rolled his eyes at the conceited witch, feeling playful. Elena had never allowed that, he would get a punishment for being disrespectful. He had to admit that to be himself with the woman he felt attracted to, felt good, triggered the nice warm sensation inside his chest he was learning to enjoy.
"Answer!" His adamant tone didn't intimidate her.
"Wow, you are kind of domineering."
Oh baby, I'm a submissive. He raised his eyebrows demanding the answer, he needed to know.
"Here, Christian, here."
A wide smile greeted the news and she gasped in surprise, her breath caught in her throat as she contemplated him. "You have such a beautiful smile." Then she smirked. "You are terribly good looking, how come you don't have a girlfriend?"
"My tastes are very singular."
Actually he wanted to work on that, all he knew was Elena and submission. His haphephobia was very restricting but he had a couple of things in mind, one of them was to become a dominant, that could work for him. The other one was to have Anastasia for at least one night and see how it goes, he could ask her not to touch him in the chest.
Well, this last option had just occurred to him while studying her attractive features. Sex was a permanent impulse around her, he really wanted the witch in a way he still couldn't understand. So many things he couldn't understand about himself while being with her. Nevertheless, he had the suspicion it would be good, he knew it would be good because in just a few hours she had given him some of the sensations he had craved for since puberty started and ruined his life.
"How singular?"
"Do you really want to know?" He challenged her.
"Yes."
"I have been with just one woman in my life, and sex with her was… well, very particular."
"Just tell me, Christian, I won't run for the hills, my sexual preferences are unusual too."
"Unusual?" Most of his thoughts about her were sexual, but to imagine her having sex with other men was too much for Christian.
"Yes."
"What do you mean?"
"You first."
It was like taking off a Band-Aid, mostly because he was curious about her.
"I was a submissive."
He didn't expect her to understand at first. To explain BDSM would be a difficult one, he had never had to do that before.
"No way, Christian, there isn't a submissive bone in your body." She didn't even hesitate, it just exploded out of her mouth letting Christian in shock.
"I AM a submissive, Christian, you look more like a dominant to me."
Christian couldn't articulate, his jaw was rigid, his lips tightly compressed. What were the odds, what were the fucking odds.
"But well, I guess that's not something necessarily visible, I might be wrong."
Analysing him she demanded more information, somehow they had ended up talking about him. "How old are you? Not older than me for sure."
"Twenty-two."
"I'm twenty-two too. When did you start? I started two years ago, a boyfriend, but he was an abusive asshole. Now I just have eventual partners when I feel in the mood."
He frowned, clenching his teeth and tightening his fists. "No, that's not right, you could get yourself trapped in a dangerous situation by doing that."
Unfortunately for Christian, the girl wasn't very submissive out of the Scene.
"I'm always careful, I take my time to choose."
"What about me?"
"What?"
Yes, what about him? With his game exposed he needed to know immediately.
They stared at each other for a bit, not saying a word. Her brow furrowed with incomprehension. "You said you were a submissive." Christian shook his head knowing she was right, she didn't have enough information… not yet.
"I ended up that relationship six months ago because I didn't feel comfortable in it."
"What have you done since then?"
"Nothing." The playful smile on her face triggered the DANGER sign again.
"I don't know if 'we' could work. How much time were you her submissive?"
"Seven years."
She stood up abruptly, coughing violently, choking with her own saliva. With three quick movements Christian was next to her patting her back. "Anastasia, breath!"
That very second he saw her hand going to his chest, looking for support while she was trying to recover. He grabbed it harshly shaking a 'no' with his head. The hurt look that contorted her face made him feel bad.
"That's a hard limit for me, I'm sorry."
Sitting in the bed she composed herself. "Why?"
"Haphephobia."
"Haphewhat? I haven't heard of it in any Club." Smiling, he seated next to her. He loved the surprised look on the witch's face, she didn't have all the answers in her magic ball.
"Because it's not BDSM related, it's a psychological condition, a phobia to be touched."
"But I have touched you."
"Just my chest and back are affected by the condition."
She shook her head with sadness in her eyes. "The hugging zone."
He knew what she was talking about, he had grown up avoiding the hugs of his family but craving them at the same time.
"Until where?" She was pointing to his chest.
Confused, Christian painted an imaginary line, demarcating the damaged zone.
"I could do it." The conversation was now heading the direction Christian wanted. "But I'm not sure, I wouldn't know how to lead you, I've never topped from the bottom." Nope, they weren't even close. "Let's do it, but we need to learn how to walk before we run, Christian." The most confusing creature in the whole fucking planet.
Remembering Elena, he answered to her acceptance with an annoyed gesture. "I have a pending thing for tomorrow. After that, we can talk. I'd like to try."
He went back to his position, leaning on the headboard. "Come here, if we are doing this my body needs to get used to yours."
She blushed furiously but accepted his hand. With a soft pull he sat her between his legs, her back against his chest, her head resting on his shoulder, her scent filling his nostrils. There wasn't a holy trinity anymore, her scent was something else he would worship.
"I'm happy we are doing this, Anastasia."
He was finally caressing her soft skin the way he wanted, but exercising the self-control the situation demanded. Elena was still coming in a few hours, after nine she said.
"Oh, I know. I put a spell on you when I left you on the street."
Damn, she certainly did, she could read him so well.
Christian wondered if that was good for a Scene, maybe no, maybe yes, he would know soon. The way he felt, probably tomorrow. Now he wasn't so sure about his performance with Elena, he wanted this delicious brunette way too much. He was anxious to be in charge of her pleasure, reading her to figure out what she wanted even before she knew, and then give it to her.
So many things in his head, he wasn't good at waiting, at postponing, but her scent calmed him gradually, hypnotising all his senses one by one until he drifted into a peaceful sleep.
…
…
A furious knock at the door woke them from a deep sleep.
Fuck, Elena!
The alarm-clock said nine fifteen.
"Shit." He had never slept this much. Of course, he was bewitched, and it was good, he felt rest for the first time in a too long while.
He got distracted for a second by the vision next to him, Anastasia was a fine sight in the morning. Her hair was falling wildly around her face and shoulders, her eyes bright with energy, her cheeks slightly flushed, all combined in one beautiful woman that would be, soon, his. What was more, she was in the lifestyle and willing to try new things with him, she couldn't be more perfect.
Another knock startled him. "Go and get dressed."
"Why do I feel as if we were cheating on someone?"
"We aren't. Now go, I'll explain later."
He went to the door, opening it carefully to receive a furious Elena.
"Christian, I'm not happy."
"But…"
"No buts, you should have been waiting."
"Calm down Elena, I fell asleep, I was tired." Fucking bitch, what was her problem.
Christian realized he wasn't happy either, already rejecting Elena, the woman he was supposed to have sex with in a few minutes. The deal wasn't looking that good anymore.
Closing her eyes she took a deep breath composing herself. Then she smiled at him. "Okay, sorry, I'm actually pissed because I don't have as much time as I thought, so let's start right away. Take off your pants and assume the position while I use the bathroom."
"No, wait."
"What?" She looked at Christian surprised.
Trying to mask his feelings, Christian explained with a nonchalantly tone. "A friend is using the bathroom, she will leave in a couple of minutes."
The scowl on her face told him she was getting angry again, the cold tone confirmed it. "You used the room I'm paying for, to play with a friend?"
"Of course not, Elena. She had an emergency and I helped her, that's all." That's all you need to know, and it wasn't a lie. Christian could understand Elena's indignation, but he wasn't feeling very patient that morning.
Anastasia stepped out of the bathroom wearing her clothes, still wet but not as much as last night. What if she caught a cold?
The threat of the cold was immediately forgotten when he noticed what was going on in front of him, the two women were about to square off in a cat fight.
"Rose?"
"Hello, Elena."
Rose?
"Rose?"
"It's my pseudonym."
She had met Elena, probably at some Club or party. The alarmed look Anastasia gave him was disconcerting, it was surely related with Elena.
"Wasn't she leaving?"
Shit, Elena was throwing her out of the room. He didn't like that, after all, for all Elena knew, Anastasia was there because of him.
The girl approached him and did something strange, it caught him by surprise but since she kept herself away from the sensitive area, he didn't recoil. She hugged him by his waist, just joining their hips, and standing on her toes kissed both his cheeks and whispered, "be careful, please."
It was brief but so special that Christian felt the now-familiar-warmness spreading inside his chest in soft waves. That weird hug was created just for him, so he could enjoy something that his abuser snatched from him when he was a kid. It was respectful, it was heartfelt, and the most important thing, it was bearable. Anastasia had touched him again, but this time she had touched his soul. He couldn't let her leave, just not yet.
"Wait, how do I contact you?"
A snort made them turn their heads. Elena was rolling her eyes. "She is easy to find."
Christian wanted to know what Elena meant, nevertheless, since she was being so rude to his friend he didn't ask and turned the attention back to the light witch. He'd find out later, and once she was his, it'd be solved. He wanted for himself all the hunger and lust he could sense in her.
Anastasia was fidgeting with her hair nervously. "I better go."
"Yes dear, Christian and I are busy right now, we need privacy."
Elena purred the words winking unpleasantly at her. That attitude fuelled Christian anger, Elena had no right to do that, they had ended the agreement a long time ago and this was supposed to be a one-time thing between two old friends.
"Stop, Elena."
Elena glared at him aggrieved. "What? Just saying."
"No, you are being rude, stop that shit."
Elena pressed her lips in a fine line but didn't say anything.
Lowering his voice, he focused on Anastasia again. "Do you need anything? Where is your stuff?"
"Must be upstairs."
That made him nervous, what if that asshole was upstairs too, waiting for her? "You shouldn't go there alone."
"It's okay, Christian, don't worry."
"No, it's not." He felt the need to do something about her lack of self-preservation instincts.
Anastasia walked to the bedside table and grabbed his phone offering a better alternative. "I'll ask someone at reception to go upstairs with me."
"Christian, I don't have much time for what we need to do."
Elena again, but this time at least she was using a polite tone of voice.
"There, now you have my number… Bye Christian, I'll be waiting for your call."
He looked at her bewitching summer-sky eyes for the last time, wanting to bury his nose in her wonderfully fragrant hair, wanting to kiss her, really kiss her until he lost himself in her. How come he didn't do that last night? Right, Elena, if he'd followed up on even one of his desires, he wouldn't have been able to stop.
When the door was closed behind her, he felt empty and nervous realizing that they didn't actually concrete anything, what if she changes her mind? Shit, he needed to go after her. Christian raked his hands through his hair in frustration, feeling the urgency to finish the deal quickly and move on without interferences.
Looking at Elena he knew it, he didn't want to do this and that changed everything because everything had changed. Elena noticed immediately. She walked to the bed and sat crossing her legs, her back straight in a defensive position.
"Christian, what's going on?"
"I don't know what you are talking about." Of course he knew, Anastasia.
"You like that girl?"
"Is that a problem?" He asked as he sat down on a chair that was placed near the bed. He wasn't her submissive, there should be no problem.
"She is very promiscuous, Christian, always leaving the Club with a different man."
Anastasia already told him that, she said she had eventual sexual partners, something that would hopefully change soon, he wasn't planning on letting her escape or sharing her for that matter.
"I know."
Elena frowned with discontent and then threw her bomb.
"I will give you the money only if you promise not contact her again."
Christian froze, that was completely unexpected, was she blackmailing him?
"Why?"
"Because I don't like her."
"Then don't contact her."
Why was she doing this was hard for Christian to understand, Elena was obviously jealous but the relationship they had shared for so many years was kind of distant and utilitarian. When he ended the agreement she reacted with normalcy, so this was strange.
"Then you can forget about the money."
"I thought it was a loan."
She took an imaginary thread from her skirt, analyzing it, giving the impression she didn't care much about anything.
"You can call it as you wish, it's an exchange. I'll give it to you only if you forget about her."
Elena was crushing all the trust he had on her, tossing it aside. He needed the money, probably more than he needed Anastasia, but he couldn't accept this. It was his choice, not Elena's.
He grew up the first years of his life surrounded by moral turpitude, human cruelty, and maternal negligence, and yet, he survived. How dare she think he would fell for that? The only reason why he asked HER for the money, was because he saw her as his friend. The deal he was accepting was based in the fact that he trusted in her, but also because he needed to do it too, he hadn't had sex for six months for Christ's sake.
Christian leaned back in the chair with a blank expression on his face, and this time he wasn't faking it, he was tranquil knowing what to do.
"Did Grace tell you how the marks on my back and chest were made?"
"Of course, I know everything about you." Elena stood impassibly, waiting for him to elaborate further.
"Do you know why he made it, why I have so many?"
She didn't respond, of course, nobody knew, not even Grace.
"He wanted me to admit it hurt, he wanted me to admit out loud that he was stronger than me, that I was afraid of him… Guess what? I didn't, and I was four."
Now she understood, Elena saw she had lost the bet.
"So, you know my answer to your stupid blackmail."
"You have no choice, Christian."
She pushed a little harder, the blackmail wasn't the only stupid thing in the room.
"Of course I do. First, you can't choose for me, and second, you know my parents are wealthy, Elena, and even disappointed they have always looked after me, always."
Yes, he realized now, they had never sent him away even though he was always surly and crabby. Elliot had accepted him in his apartment until he could solve his economic situation and his differences with Carrick, like the big brother he was. Mia and Grace had called every week to check on him. They cared.
Elena stood up in front of him, adopting her dominant stance and raising her guard even higher. "Carrick won't give you one cent, I already made sure of that."
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"
The rage contained in the yell startled them both. He was now standing too, running his hand through his hair.
"What did you tell him?"
She was now nervous and scared at the same time, she made a mistake leaded by the anger she felt, and it was the first time she was seeing him reacting like that. She was probably wondering where was her submissive? Burning in rage.
"ANSWER!"
"I told him you were gambling, losing all I had lent you. I told him you were fighting again… for money, in order to pay your debts."
Realization was hitting him as a merciless hammer, taking all his balance away. He suddenly understood all the strange looks he had received from Grace and Carrick for so many years. Why was she being honest about her lies was a mystery to him, but he knew she was telling the truth now, and he knew she had manipulated him into their "friendship" since the beginning.
"Why, Elena? Why would you do that to me?"
Her teeth clamped together and she hissed her words at him. "Because you are mine, and you will always be. You got confused by a pair of pretty blue eyes, but that will pass and you will come back to me, deep inside you know I'm your only option, your only true friend."
"FRIEND?"
Trying to control his temper, he took the shirt that was hanging in the back of the chair and put it on. "I choose her. You and your money can rot in hell for all I care."
"Christian, don't you dare to leave me here."
"Fuck you and your FUCKING LIES. You are so full of shit it makes me really sick."
"You will regret this."
He did, he regretted a lot of decisions he had made, not this one though. Shrugging his shoulders he went to the bedside table for his cell phone, watch and wallet. Everything went to his pocket as he grabbed his shoes from the floor to left barefoot. He couldn't bear one more second in the same room with Elena fucking Lincoln.
In the elevator he finished getting dressed, trying to focus on Anastasia, it was too painful to regard the past… again, so the girl was a better thought. Later, now he needed to tie up his future, my light witch. He smirked at the thought, he would need to learn to do that if she was into it, he didn't want to hurt her mistaking the knots. And about the money, well, that was so fucked up, his business plan was perfect and this was the perfect time for it, maybe if he had an honest conversation with Carrick...
Outside the hotel he looked careful both sides of the street and spotted her just before she turned right on one corner. In a few quick strides, he reached her and grabbed her arm bringing her to an abrupt stop. She gasped and turned around looking up at him dumbfounded. "Christian!"
Lost in the beautiful eyes he was happy to see again, he pinned her against the wall and kissed her -hard, demanding, urgent. She tasted so sweet, and she was accepting his kiss giving herself in return. She curled her fingers in his hair, moaning in his mouth, her breathing becoming ragged; it wasn't like the ravenous scorching kisses he had had with Elena, it was full of something new, something that tastes heavenly. The kiss went on and on, neither of them willing to end the moment.
Finally, he tore himself away, panting, "that was one hell of a kiss."
She giggled trying to catch her breath and he knew there was one more thing about her he would worship, that adorable sound. Five things so far, he was sure there were more, a lot more to discover and worship in his witch.
"Come with me, please, we need breakfast and I need you."
Blushing red as a tomato she nodded her agreement.
The morning was starting to get better, despite all the bullshit he had had to face. To have this adorable creature by his side meant the world to him in a way that was unfamiliar but fulfilling at the same time.
Suddenly, he was afraid of the intensity of what was happening inside him, what if she leaves him? What if this doesn't work? He was aware of how invested he was on the illusion of being with her.
"I'm scared too, Christian."
The witch, of course, she had read his fears on his face because she had, somehow, destroyed his mask, at least while he was with her. And by telling him how she felt, she had made clear that, like him, she was jumping to the unknown. They would take the risk of an unhappily ever after together because even if they didn't have a compass, they would find the way.
"Let's go."
Elliot's apartment was near the hotel, so fifteen minutes at a normal pace was enough to get there. It was a quiet walk, both holding hands loosely and lost in deep thoughts.
He opened the door wondering about the contents of the fridge since he wanted to prepare her a passable breakfast, then he saw them and froze. Carrick and Elliot were sat in the living room looking in their direction with a very inquisitive look.
"Dad!"
His father walked toward them offering a hand to his son. "Christian." They shook hands and then he turned his attention to Anastasia. "I'm Carrick, young lady, Christian's father." The girl smiled and politely corresponded the greeting.
"Come with me, please, we need to talk." His father was right, they needed to talk, a life changing talk actually, surely not what his father had in mind… or maybe yes after what Elena told him.
Her voice interrupted the moment. "I'd better go, Christian. You can call me after you finish here."
This was déjàvu, some difficult circumstance was throwing her out of the room again. Well, not this time, he knew he would be impatient and nervous if he let her go with nothing agreed, and the conversation with his father would end up badly.
"No, stay… please."
She was hesitant but one look at him, at his plea, and she accepted. "Okay."
Anastasia sat far, on one of the bar stools at the breakfast bar, trying to be invisible. It was an impossible, she would never be invisible, at least not for him. He smiled at her reassuringly and she corresponded with a gleaming hope.
His father was looking at him bewildered, he had never seen Christian with someone before. Yes, I was hanging out with a girl, can we move on? His brother Elliot just disappeared, not even greeted them which means this would be tough. Coward.
Her sweet voice brought him back. "May I have your cell phone? Mine is dead and I could use some music right now."
Christian smiled again and walked back to her to give her what she wanted, he wished he wasn't broke to give her all she could need.
Back to his father he sat in front of him straightening his back.
"Christian, I know you have a problem."
A problem? That was a damned understatement, he had so many. "I know, her name is Elena Lincoln."
"What?" Yes Dad, welcome to the conversation we are about to have.
"She lied to you." Christian was trying to remain impassible because to think about this made him angry. They had been talking about his son with a person that isn't family.
"Elena?"
"Yes, Elena."
Surprised his father demanded more. "What do you mean?"
"You are the lawyer Dad, what does that mean?"
The father was getting pissed by Christian attitude, but fortunately Elliot chose that moment to show up. "Chris, everything alright?"
"Mhm, where are you going?"
"Girlfriend, I'll be back late." Elliot winked at him making a gesture toward Anastasia but he ignored it.
His brother gave a kiss to his father and went to the breakfast bar to present himself, making some joke that amused Anastasia. Before his jealousy made him react, Elliot was living the apartment sending him another annoying wink.
Everything came back to where it was. Where was it? Right, his father was pissed at him, he was pissed at his father.
"Would you mind to elaborate, Christian."
Talking with his father about his life was a novelty, he didn't know how to do that so he just started from the end. "I was with her half an hour ago, she mentioned the lies that had told you about me gambling and fighting for money."
Carrick leaned back on the chair sighing. "That's just... Why were you with her? Why would she do that?"
The Band-Aid again. The sooner, the better. "She wanted to have sex with me in exchange of some money she would lend me."
A deep whoosh of air and a cough startled them, Anastasia was choking violently. Christian ran to her and palmed her back. "Anastasia, please…" The father was sat there just looking at him with the girl, shocked. "Dad, help me!"
"I'm fine, I just… I'm fine." Her voice was hoarse while talking but he calmed down a bit, shooting daggers at his father. "You have it recorded, Christian."
"What?" He had no idea what she was talking about.
"What you mentioned, must be here since I let the cell phone's recorder on when I left the room, and it was still turned on when you gave it to me."
She was waving the cell phone in front of him. Christian took it and looked at his files, there was one from today, she saved it under one suggestive name, '312'. He smiled inward at the detail. Nevertheless, he was afraid it didn't record their exchange since he had never used that as a recorder.
He went to his father giving him the phone, then came back to Anastasia, didn't want to know if it worked properly or not, didn't want to hear that conversation again. There was another conversation he needed to have, with his personal light witch sent by a coven of fucking psychics.
"Why did you do that, Anastasia?" Her name in his voice felt right, he needed to say it more often.
They could hear the recorded conversation in the background, which annoyed Christian because he didn't want her to hear that shit.
"She is an awful person and…" Fidgeting with her hair, she made a pause.
"And what?"
"And your demons run wild inside you, she was obviously taking advantage of that… I don't know, it was a hunch. She could say something self-incriminatory."
"Mmm." Christian was impressed by this beautiful smart girl, he stroked her cheek tenderly wanting his father to leave. Carrick could take the damned thing for all he cared.
Then Christian's voice crossed the air, from the cell phone, directly to them, "I choose her."
She smiled sweetly at him putting her hand on his. She was about to say something but a moving shadow made him take his glance away from the shining blue eyes, his father had grabbed his jacket and was putting it on, standing next to him.
"I'll give you the money."
"What?" He couldn't believe what he was hearing, that was his goal, well, one of them since he wanted his parents to know the truth, that he wasn't gambling or fighting. He had spent the last four months in a library studying and designing his plan.
He knew the lies had surely broken Grace's heart, he needed to amend that but he also had thought about asking Carrick for the loan again.
"But you have to explain me well what you want it for, and I have to agree with it." Of fucking course, that was the Carrick he knew, always the 'buts'. He felt confident though, his plan was perfect.
"No problem, Dad." Shaking his hand he added. "Thank you."
His father knew he couldn't be hugged, so Carrick palmed his shoulder instead, sadness filling his eyes. "I'm sorry, son. I'm glad I came here to hear it from you and do something about it. I just want the best for you."
Something inside Christian cracked and spilled out, spreading warmth through his chest. That was happening a lot since he met the witch, the darkness inside him couldn't fight it. If he were superstitious he would think she was his talisman, through her the demons had been warded off.
"Bye, young lady, and thank you." He placed a quick kiss on Anastasia's cheek and left, a murdering look on his face. Christian expected his father not to do something crazy against Elena, after all he was a lawyer, he knew better than that. Well, their friend, their problem.
Christian was shocked by the results of the events, but there was something that distracted him more, he felt like a teenager but couldn't help it. Turning to look at her, he smirked.
"Where were we? Right, hunger, so much fucking hunger."
His gray eyes eating her alive made her blush. He realized how much he enjoyed doing that to the witch, he was able to make her loose her powers from time to time.
"Actually, I do am a little hungry."
That was like a bucket of cold water over his head. Of course she needed to eat.
"Let me check the fridge."
He felt observed while preparing her some coffee and a sandwich, and he liked it. For the first time in his life Christian was enjoying something so simple, and at the same time so basic as feeding his girl. "His girl", they hadn't even had sex yet but he already felt that way.
The 'created reality' Elena had submerged him into, had no comparison with what he was doing with another person. He had done a lot, yes, but always alone, always full of melancholic loneliness. He felt complete now, and it scared him because it was still nothing and his darkness was there, he could feel it, he wouldn't foolish himself.
Ironically, it was Elena who put him at the crossroad that made him realize that the whole control-over-his-life feeling was just an illusion. If it wasn't for the strange encounter with Anastasia, an encounter that had so quickly evolved, nothing of this would have happened. He understood that in life, if you are lucky enough, you have choices, and it's important to look at them carefully to notice when them are taking you away from what you want.
"This is where I want to be. I choose you, Christian."
Obviously she had read his mind again, he was so screwed, boiling happily in the pot of the most beautiful light witch that had ever existed in this haunted planet. The future was uncertain, but Christian had something clear, he was where he wanted to be, under her spell.
The End