Chapter 10
Pyrrha rushed out after Nora, bursting through the door and out onto the sidewalk just in time to see Nora trip and fall hard on the pavement. Nora yelped in pain as she hit. "Nora!" Pyrrha shouted. She rushed to Nora and knelt at her side. Nora just curled up in the fetal position sobbing, covering her face with her hands, blood seeping from scrapes on her knees and arms. "Nora?"
Nora pulled her hands away from her face and met Pyrrha's gaze. She reached out weakly. "Pyrrha…" She groaned.
"Shhh, it's alright." Pyrrha said softly. "Let's get you home." Pyrrha put her arms under Nora's shoulders and helped her to her feet.
"I...I didn't mean to." Nora sobbed into Pyrrha's shoulder. "I just...I hurt. I wanted her to know...I wanted her to know how I felt."
"It's okay Nora, it's okay." Pyrrha said.
"It's not okay Pyrrha!" Nora yelled. "I lost control and I hurt her. I hurt Winter. No one deserves to feel like that. It's horrible...I saw her face...she didn't even know."
"Everyone loses control sometimes." Pyrrha assured her.
"But I lose control all the time." Nora wept. "I'm broken...I don't work right. I just want to be normal, talk about my problems and get better like a normal person would. Like Winter, like Yang and Velvet and Blake and Sun."
Sun stumbled out of the building and spotted the pair. Pyrrha saw him too and waved him over. She reached into her pocket and grabbed her keys, then tossed them to Sun. "Get the car." Pyrrha ordered.
"Right." Sun said, rushing off.
"Let's go home and get you cleaned up." Pyrrha said, embracing Nora. "You need to rest. Okay?" Nora just groaned and sobbed.
Yang drove straight to the house with Winter weeping in the passenger's seat. Abnormally, there was no drama with Yang behind the wheel. No peeling out, no drifting, no doing twice the speed limit. She was too worried. Winter got out of the car almost before it came to a stop. Seemingly in a trance, she walked to the door, unlocked it and continued on inside. Winter took a seat on the couch, staring down at her hands, clenched in her lap. She had stopped crying and was now just silent.
"Winter." Yang said, sitting beside her.
"I never meant to...to buy your love Yang." Winter struggled. "Please believe that. I...I just...I thought I was doing right all this time...by you, by my family, by the company. I was thrown into a position of power and I...just did what I thought was right. I never looked into it. Why would I? I...I just wanted to make my father proud."
"Winter…" Yang tried to cut in.
"My father was watching me, judging me, pushing me to prove myself...so I just did what he expected me to do." Winter continued. "I was given a bad situation and told to handle it and I...I...I spit on the memory of that poor girl's husband. Oh God...oh God, Nora...Yang I'm...I'm despicable!" Winter sobbed, moving her hands up to cover her face.
Yang pulled Winter's hands down and put a hand on her shoulder. Winter still refused to look up so Yang released her hands and grabbed both her shoulders, forcing her to sit up straight and meet her gaze. "No." Yang said.
"W-what?" Winter gasped.
"You're not despicable." Yang declared. "A despicable person would do those things knowingly and without guilt. The fact that you're this broken up tells me you're not like that. And you didn't try to buy my love, you tried to bring me happiness. You didn't spit on Ren's memory, you just tried to do your job the best way you knew how. You are not a bad person Winter. From my point of view the only person at fault is your father, for forcing you into this position."
Winter collapsed into Yang's arms, grabbing at her shirt. "I...I don't want this Yang." Winter wept. "I don't want it anymore. I wanted to be a big sister. I wanted to be worth looking up to. But I don't have that anymore. I...I have nothing Yang. Weiss was my life...my life was for Weiss. She's gone...my mother's gone...my father sees me as an asset...a tool. Everything I've done, everything I've worked for, all my life...it's been for nothing. It's all been worthless. My life has been worthless. I'm worthless. I don't know what to do anymore. Yang I...I just don't know."
Yang took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "You're not worthless Winter." She said. "You're worth the world to me. When I met you, I was at my lowest. Everyone thought I was getting better, but I felt like a zombie, walking, talking, going through the motions but not really living. I had no direction, no desires, no will to live. If someone pulled a gun on me I wouldn't have cared." Winter stared at Yang who opened her eyes and locked into her gaze. "The night I was fired...I came closer than ever before to just...ending it. But just as I really hit rock bottom you showed up. You faced me, even though you could have gone on as if I'd never existed. You decided to do the right thing, and...you saved me Winter. You really saved me and I'll be forever grateful for what you've done for me."
"Yang…" Winter said.
Yang smiled and leaned in, resting her forehead on Winter's. "You're at rock bottom Winter, but you're not alone." Yang assured her. "You're not worthless and we're going to get through this, together."
"Together?" Winter asked.
"Together." Yang confirmed. "I won't let you face this alone. Not now, not ever." Winter choked out a laugh and kissed Yang. It was a kiss as passionate and loving as any she had experienced.
Nora sobbed through the car ride home. Once there Pyrrha had her shower to clean up. For once there was no playful request that Pyrrha join her. Nora just dragged herself into the bathroom. Once Nora was done Pyrrha put antiseptic on her cuts and covered them with adhesive bandages. Nora continued to cry on and off, hardly managing a coherent word. When they went to bed things were different too. The pair had shared a bed before, even if they had done nothing intimate. Now Nora clung to Pyrrha as if she were a child clinging to a parent. Nora eventually cried herself to sleep and despite her worry Pyrrha managed to drift off as well.
In the morning Pyrrha woke up first. Still Nora's arms were wrapped around her, Nora still asleep. It was odd. Nora was always up early. That Pyrrha would get up before her was very rare. Pyrrha remained still, not wanting to wake Nora. When Nora finally woke up she seemed confused and groggy at first, then just seemed subdued. Pyrrha made sure Nora took her medication, but it did not seem to help. Even Pyrrha's offer to make pancakes for breakfast, Nora's favorite meal, did not improve her mood.
"Why don't we go out to the gazebo and meditate." Pyrrha suggested after breakfast. "Maybe that'll help you feel better."
"I...I can't." Nora mumbled. "Ren wouldn't have wanted me to do what I did. I let him down...again...just like I always do." Nora retreated into herself.
Pyrrha decided to change the subject. "Nora...how are your cuts feeling?" She asked.
"They still sting." Nora replied. "But I deserve it."
"Nora…" Pyrrha sighed. "That...don't say that." Nora just shrugged, stood, and walked away. She flopped down on the couch, not even bothering to turn on the television, and just lie there, staring ahead blankly.
Pyrrha was now even more worried. Nora said she deserved to be in pain. Did that mean she would...hurt herself? Pyrrha looked around and realized all the things Nora could use to harm herself. There were knives in the kitchen, razors for shaving, all manner of gardening implements, toxic chemicals, the list went on. And those were just the obvious things. Nora was a danger to herself in the best of times, but in her current state...just the thought terrified Pyrrha. But the day went on and Nora did not try anything. She was just listless. It was so unlike her, and that scared Pyrrha more than anything.
"Glynda, I know it's Saturday, but could I move my appointment to today?" Winter asked into the phone.
"I normally don't have sessions on Saturday, but seeing as it's an emergency I'll be happy to speak with you." Glynda replied. "What time?"
"As soon as possible." Winter answered.
"Just come over then." Glynda said. "I'll head straight to the office."
"Thank you." Winter said. "I really appreciate this. I'll be right there." She tapped her phone to hang up. "She said we can meet right now."
"Do you want me to go with you?" Yang asked.
"No, I'll be alright by myself." Winter said. "If I need anything I'll call you."
"Don't hesitate." Yang said. "And remember, I'm always here for you."
"I was always so sure of what I was doing." Winter said. "I knew the path I was on. I knew where it led. I knew what I needed to do to reach the next step. It was so simple. Now...I still know the path but I realized I don't like the destination. Following my father...doing what I'm doing...it's not going to make me happy. So what's the point? I'm almost 30 and I'm just realizing that the road I've followed all my life is a dead end. I just don't know what to do now."
"If the path your father laid out for you isn't going to make you happy, there's no reason to stick to it." Glynda agreed. "As for the alternatives, that's something you have to figure out for yourself."
"That's the problem." Winter sighed. "I've had to do a lot on my own, but the general course of my life has always been set in stone. Even if I screwed up at every turn I'd still end up in the same place because of my father. I feel like I'm out of my depth, and I've never felt this way before."
"You need to make a change." Glynda said. "What that change is, I don't know. It might be something small, like a change in your management style. It might be something existential like a different outlook on life. You might have to make a break with the life you've lived to this point and start over. Only you can determine what will make you happy."
"I could make a clean break." Winter said. "With my sister gone it's not like I'd be leaving anyone I care about behind. But what if it's the wrong choice? If I do this my father is going to cut me off for sure. No more job, no more billions of lien, nothing. I'm independently wealthy, sure, but I was only able to earn that from the jobs he gave me. And it's not enough to live off of for the rest of my life."
"So what's more important to you?" Glynda asked. "The money or your happiness? Is it more painful to keep going down a road you know ends in sadness or to risk failing on your own?"
"I know...I can choose between guaranteed sadness and possible sadness." Winter groaned. "When you put it that way it seems obvious, but I'm sure you also know that it's much easier to live with the devil you know. I have an idea of what I want to do, but I just don't know if it'll work. If it doesn't I'll throw away all my good will with my father and still end up back where I started."
"Winter, you're a strong, smart woman." Glynda encouraged. "The way I see it, you can't fail because you'll keep trying until you succeed. And with your skills and knowledge, your chances of success are very good."
"So you're saying I should do it?" Winter asked.
"I'm saying you should follow your heart." Glynda replied. "Take me as an example. I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life. I had everything mapped out. Then when James died I realized my plan wasn't going to work, so I changed it. Now here I am, schoolteacher-turned-psychologist, happy and successful. I see no reason you couldn't make a similar shift."
"Thank you, Glynda." Winter said. "For the encouragement, the wisdom, everything."
"I'm just doing my job." Glynda said.
"No, you've gone above and beyond that." Winter said.
"Maybe so." Glynda shrugged.
"Well, I should get going." Winter said, standing up.
"We still have some time." Glynda pointed out.
"That's okay." Winter said. "There are some things I need to do."
It was just Tuesday, only a few days after the fateful meeting, but to Pyrrha it felt like it had been months. Worry filled her every waking moment. She watched Nora like a hawk and did everything she could to cheer her up, but nothing changed. Nora was still as distraught and depressed as when they had gotten home, and if anything probably getting worse. Pyrrha was out of ideas. She felt like all she could do was delay Nora's downward spiral, and that wasn't near good enough.
Glynda had given Pyrrha the week off to care for Nora, and with her semester over there was nowhere else for her to be. Glynda helpfully brought some clothes from Pyrrha's apartment and even had a session with Nora in her own home. Pyrrha wanted to help people the way Glynda did, but she was learning just how unprepared she was. Even Glynda seemed unable to help, her session with Nora coming and going without any discernable progress. If Glynda could not help, what hope did Pyrrha have?
Pyrrha's phone rang. She slipped it out of her pocket and looked at it. Winter. "I have to take this." Pyrrha said. Nora, still lying on the couch, staring blankly at the television, just barely grunted acknowledgement. Pyrrha got up and walked to another room where she answered the call. "Hello?"
"Hello Pyrrha." Winter said.
"What is it?" Pyrrha asked. "I'm not working this week so if you need to schedule something with Glynda…"
"No, this isn't about that." Winter cut her off. "I wanted to apologize to Nora. I was hoping to stop by but I wanted to make sure you were okay with it first. I wouldn't want to make things worse than they already are."
"You want to...yes!" Pyrrha exclaimed. Finally, something that might turn Nora around. "Please, come over. Come right now if you can!"
"Oh...alright." Winter said. "I'll bring Yang too if that's alright."
"That's fine." Pyrrha said. "Just get here as soon as you can."
Winter pulled her car to a stop in front of Nora's house. She clamped her hands on the steering wheel, her knuckles bleached white. Yang covered one of Winter's hands with her own. "You okay?" Yang asked.
"Years of board meetings, hundred-million lien contract negotiations, firing people in person rather than by phone or e-mail." Winter said. "I've done it all, but nothing compares to how fearful I am at this moment."
"Winter, look at me." Yang said. Winter looked over, her breathing uneven. "If you can face me, you can face Nora. Be strong. I'll be by your side the whole time."
"Okay." Winter said. "Okay, I can do this." She took a deep breath and got out of the car. Yang waited at the sidewalk and they walked hand-in-hand to the door.
"Want me to knock?" Yang asked.
"There's a doorbell." Winter observed.
"Knocking's more personal." Yang suggested.
"Sure." Winter said with an uneasy laugh.
Yang hit the door with three loud knocks. A few seconds later it swung open to reveal a rather frantic-looking Pyrrha. "Winter, Yang, thank you for coming." She said, doing her best to appear calm. "Please come in. Nora's in the lounge. She's...I...I can't help her. I don't know what to do!"
"I've come to make things right." Winter said. "In any way I can."
Pyrrha nodded and led Winter and Yang to the lounge. Nora was reclined against the end of the couch, seemingly-half asleep. When she spotted Winter her eyes snapped wide open. "Winter?" She gasped, leaping up.
"Nora I…" Winter started.
Nora rushed forward and wrapped Winter in a tight embrace. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" Nora exclaimed with tears in her eyes. "I didn't mean to say those things. I didn't mean to yell. I was...I…"
"Nora, please." Winter cut her off. She pried Nora off and held her at arm's length, looking her in the eyes. "Let me say what I need to say first. Let's sit down."
"Oh...okay." Nora said, nodding and wiping the tears from her face. Yang sat on one end of the couch and Pyrrha the other with Winter and Nora between them. Nora reached for Pyrrha's hand and she offered it, Nora taking a deathgrip.
"Nora, I would like to apologize for my...past treatment of you." Winter said, her eyes downcast. "At the time I'd recently been placed at the head of that division of SDC. The prior head had been immediately fired after...the incident. My father expected me to clean things up, and I did as expected. I met with the lawyers, listened to their plan of action, and signed off on pretty much anything they suggested with only minor modifications. I didn't give it a second thought, and for that, I am truly sorry."
"I'm sorry too." Nora sighed. "I lost control and dumped it all on you, just because your name was on the papers and the cheque. And I've been treating you badly ever since we met, and you didn't do anything to deserve that. Ren...Ren would be disappointed in me."
"You were...are still, grieving, Nora." Winter said. "Grief makes us...not ourselves. Sometimes we drink, sometimes we lash out when we normally wouldn't...sometimes we do worse. But some good has come of the things you've said to me."
"How?" Nora asked.
"I've decided to make a change." Winter explained. "From now on I'm going to be a new person. My old life, the life in which I hurt you, I don't want it anymore. It's over. In that life the only thing I had worth caring for was my sister...and she's gone now. I'm going to forge my own path...something better...something happier." Winter took Yang's hand and smiled at her. Yang smiled back.
"You're...you're leaving your old life because of me?" Nora gasped. Winter turned back to look at her and Nora met her gaze.
"I'm leaving my old life because you made me realize it wasn't what I wanted." Winter replied. "You helped me see that continuing to live it would lead only to misery. For that I thank you Nora. Thank you for helping me see the truth. Thank you from the bottom of my heart."
Nora, crying again, used her free hand to cover her mouth to stifle a whimper. She released Pyrrha's hand and hugged Winter tightly, too tightly for Winter's liking but comforting at the same time. Winter was briefly taken aback but returned the embrace and started rubbing Nora's back as she quivered and sobbed.
"I'm s-sorry for e-everything Winter." Nora struggled. "I promise I'll be a g-good friend to you...from now on."
"And I you Nora." Winter said. "And I you."
Pyrrha smiled at Winter and mouthed thank you to her. Winter smiled back. Her new life was off to a wonderful start.