A/N

Sorry for the late update my little girl started kindergarten on my birthday on the fifth and it has been crazy ever since. I hope I will be able to update more often. I didn't want to keep repeating the same scenes pretty much so I'm going to skip to the end of the week to when they do their fearscape again. I still don't own anything other than my OC's. Hope you enjoy.

...OOO...

The rest of the week goes by in a blur. I get better at balancing while I throw and facing my fears are just as bad as they began. I keep hoping that I won't keep seeing my father die but to no such luck. His face swims in my head every time I close my eyes now. I can't keep the memories at bay.

As we walk toward the fearscape for the last time I am haunted by facing my fears once again. I try to keep my emotions down but as we get closer my hands start to sweat. I can't wipe them as they are still clutched around my crutches. Thankfully we have gotten to the part where we have to climb the stairs and I have to think of how I am going to manage it with my crutches.

I take it a step at a time with my good leg first. I don't think that it would have been as hard if the ground was level. Wes and Audi asked to help but I wouldn't let them. I could be seen as helpless or weak in front of everyone. At the top of the stairs I give a sigh of relief and am once again faced with my worries. Can I make it through this? Do I want to? I have to. I want to. I was born to.

When we go through the door to get into the room I have my head held high. I am my father's daughter. I will make his memory proud.

...OOO...

I am not the only one to still have problems with their fears. Everyone still panics as they come out. I am near the last one to go so I see most of the others fears. Some are small like spiders or heights. While some are deeper like death and abuse. Death. Death is my fear. The death of my father and the death of my best friend. I can't get over either one and I dread each time that I go under that Audi will make an appearance. Will she be in this one? Will I soon have more fears?

"McKaven Blaine." Tris calls out my name.

Am I ready? I have to be. I am the only one left.

...OOO...

I jerk up and off of the chair. I quickly walk from the room. I am done with seeing my fears. As I come out of the room Max stands up.

"Everyone is free for the rest of the afternoon. Rankings will be up after dinner. They will be posted in the training room. That is all you may leave.

Wes and Audi walk over toward me. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Nothing I haven't seen before." Audi gives me a quick hug. That is not true and they know it. Audi has made it into my fears. My fear of Wes's death has changed a bit. Now it has Audi and Wes standing together with Jeanine telling me to choose. I choose to kill Jeanine than kill them.

"So if get a tattoo. Does that mean you will put it on you?" Audi asked.

"Yes. You have made your mark." I tell her.

"That is cool. I'm glad you didn't kill me." She jokes. "You are stuck with me now."

...OOO...

I make my way to the kitchen to start with prep. Even with my bum ankle Eric won't let me off KP duty. I take a seat and start peeling vegetables for the stew that was going to be tonight's dinner. I finish up so that I can go join my friends. I know we will make it but I wonder where we stand and if we will see each other often.

Sitting down to eat I find that not many initiates are eating. Just picking at their food. Worrying and waiting.

All the trainers are absent even the leaders. The rest of the dinning room is full and loud like always. It quietens imminently as they all walk in. "If all the initiates will follow us into the training room you will be given your rank and job according to that rank. So those of you that rank low will not have as good as job or pay as those of you that rank high. Do not blame anyone but yourself for not working harder." Max commands attention.

We dutifully follow him and the others into the training room. Everyone's name is on the board with the top rankings first. My name is next to one and Wes is at two with three through eight mostly composing of Dauntless born before Audi's name next to nine. Ranks four, six, and ten are transfers with eleven through twenty-seven a mixture.

After standing there for a moment letting it all sink in I feel him behind me. "What do you want?"

"Just to say congratulations." Eric's voice comes from much closer than I thought.

I turn around to find him not even a foot away. "Yeah right. You never say just congratulations." I retort.

"Is that so?" He comes in closer.

"Yes. Snide comments, commands, insults, and all around nastiness. But never pleasantries." I stand my ground.

"Have you ever seen me with another member to see how I act?" He asks.

"Four, Tris, Max, and the other trainers." I answer.

"Doesn't count." He raises his pierced brow.

"Than no." I huff.

"Than how do you know how I act around others." He leans in closer.

"You don't seem like the kind of guy that is overly nice." I try to keep my breathing normal.

"You think so. How do you know that I don't want more with someone. Or if I already am." My skin crawls as I think of him with someone else.

"I don't think you would cheat. I find you to be a very private person." His face is all but next to mine. His breath is on my cheek.

"Wouldn't you like to know." He laughs and walks off.