Chapter 20:

Stan PoV

I put my phone back on snooze and roll over onto my side. I was cutting it very fine if I wanted to get to school, the bus was leaving in fifteen minutes. But I didn't care, I was not in the mood for being ripped on again, or seeing my 'friends' or doing math.

"Stan, are you still not up yet?" Shelly's nasal voice rings out as my bedroom door flies open. "Mom, Stan's not out of bed!"

"Shut up Shelly." I spit. "Make yourself useful and go to the job centre."

"Mom, Stan's making jokes about my brace again." She lies and mom appears at the door.

"Stan, why aren't you up?" She screeches. "You shouldn't make fun of Shelly's brace."

"Yeah besides, your face is fucked up too now." She chortles and I throw a pillow at her. Mom flicks the light on and I sit up angrily.

"Can you all just fuck off?" I yell.

"Stanley, mind your language." Mom scolds, ironically, she hadn't asked Shelly to mind her language. This was sexism, I swear to God. "You're going to be late."

"Oh no..." I drone as dad appears behind the two of them. Great, the last remaining member of the all-star threesome.

"Stan, why aren't you up yet?" He asks me.

"Any more questions?" I hiss. "I'm not going today."

"Why not?" Mom pesters, folding her arms the same time as Shelly.

"Because I'm sick." I lie and she raises her eyebrows.

"Stan." She walks over and puts her arm around me. "I know it must be hard right now-"

"Get off me!" I push her arm off. Why did they always fuss about everything? Why couldn't they all just leave me alone? "I'm staying home, I'm not going to school, so there. You can't force me."

"You can't stay home, Shelly has got her photo shoot today." Dad tells me.

"What?" I mutter.

"For my modelling career." She prompts me.

"Modelling career?" I burst out laughing for the first time in ages and suddenly, I can't stop.

"Stan, stop it now." Mom snaps.

"Modelling career?" I repeat, still in fits of laughter. "Dream on! The only thing you'll be modelling for is a mental institution."

"Stan you are grounded." Mom finalises.

"Oh no..." I chuckle. "Grounded? What am I going to do now? I'm not going to school, ground me all you like."

"Fine." She slams the door, leaving me alone. I lie back down in bed, staring at the ceiling. I wouldn't be able to sleep now and that was the only thing I wanted to do. Man, I hated my family so much. If they could just disappear that would be a blessing. Actually, if I could disappear, just vanish into thin air... Where I could finally just be alone, without Kyle nagging or Mom fussing or Wendy fucking someone else. I slap myself in the face without thinking and a searing pain emanates from my wounds. Fuck. I bite my hand to prevent me from screaming out. Tears trickling out of my functioning eye as my hand begins to sting like crazy. I pull myself up to get an ice pack from my desk when I catch myself in the mirror. I pause, staring at my reflection.

Who was that? I didn't recognise them. It wasn't me. I reach my hand out to touch the glass and so does the person staring back at me. The person? The monster. The stranger. Bruises coating their face, stitches in their lower lip, an eye half closed. Black hair greasy, ruffled, posture broken, slumped. That shimmer in my blue eyes had disappeared. The ambition in my face was gone. Now I just saw my future. The dumb kid who is in all the bottom sets. Who dreams of being a footballer but secretly knows they have no chance. Clinging onto the hope so that they don't have to focus in lessons. Bloody, bruised, broken.

Why was Wendy even with me? Why hadn't she run away ages ago. I now realise why she is so desperate to spend time with people like Craig. Because it was better than spending time with this person. This person who was unhealthy for her. Who once made her laugh, made her happy. Who now only brought agro, trouble and trauma.

What was even the point anymore? I get my phone out and dial Kyle's number, I didn't know why, he just seemed to be the only one who cares right now.

Kenny PoV

"Where is everyone?" I ask Wendy as I take my seat in homeroom.

"No idea." She shrugs. Bebe, Kyle and Stan all hadn't shown up yet. "Cartman is probably in the announcement suite right now, deciding who to humiliate today."

"Most likely to be one of us." I reply.

"Again." She sighs. "So neither Kyle or Stan were at the bus stop?"

"Nope, had to put up with Cartman all the way." I tell her. "Mind you, he hasn't been all that bad this morning for some reason."

"I haven't seen him around as much." She ponders. "Probably too busy out beating kids up."

"Yeah, he wishes." I laugh.

"...How are you?" She finally asks and I knew what she was referring to. I had been the laughing stock of the school after my little outburst last week. The news still hasn't died down about the crash and my drunken escapade. You would have thought it had put me off drinking for life, but I had been down Skeeters bar another three times since. I now had no job so I was running out of money to feed Karen with. Dad had fucked off, none of us had seen him for months now. He was probably dead, not that I cared. Mind you, I had to thank him for spending all that time in the bar, it resulted in me getting free drinks all the time. Kevin was still being a complete dick, bringing thirty year old women back to the house and fucking them so loudly that Karen runs into my room, crying, thinking someone is being murdered. Mom wasn't being any help either, she was still spending an awful amount of time slumped on the couch, only getting up to get a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon from the cupboard. How she was buying them, I didn't know. They were probably Kevin's and she would drink them whenever he was out. She obviously hadn't gone back to work so we literally had no income, except for Kevin's wage but he spent all of that on himself and the girls down the brothel. Our electricity had completely cut out so we had no television, no refrigerator, no lighting. We had dealt without heating for long enough but if you wanted the definition of poverty, our family was the place to come.

I suddenly notice Wendy's concerned expression. "Oh, uh, fine thanks." I lie and she puts a hand on my shoulder, knowing it was complete bullshit. I look up as Bebe enters the room, looking very pale as she slides down in the seat next to me. "Where've you been?"

"Toilet." Is all she mutters to me and I see Wendy shift her gaze from me to her.

"...Well, this really isn't a good time for relationships, is it?" Wendy chirps.

"Why, aren't you and Stan getting on?" I ask and she just shrugs.

"Ah..." She sighs. "I don't know, he's just been really weird lately."

"Haven't we all." Bebe mumbles. She was right to be fair, we all had been a bit weird, the only person who still seemed sane was Wendy. She was like the councillor of the group. Probably because she hadn't been caught up in the crash or pretended been on a date with her cousin.

"Bridon and Lola, Stan and I..." She hesitates. "You two."

"Um, we're fine thanks." Bebe suddenly snaps. Well... She was clearly on her period.

"Ok... Just an observation, that's all." Wendy gives a sympathetic smile.

"Yeah well don't observe." Bebe shouts, suddenly getting up and running to the door. "Shit, I'm gonna puke."

The class sits in silence when she has left. Whoever thought senior year would bring this much drama?

Wendy PoV

I file my homework in my folder and place it back into my bag. Even if no one else was, I still wanted to get good grades at the end of this year. It seemed no one else cared anymore. But dad always told me that if others are bringing you down, soar higher. So that was what I was going to do. Even if Stan was being a depressed prick or Kyle was whining about being judged or Kenny was running off to the pub or Bebe was growing bigger or Cartman was reciting my name over and over on the morning announcements. I just had to focus on myself for a while.

I wrap a towel around myself and head out to the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror as I wipe away the make-up. The plain-faced girl from third grade who had always tried her hardest in everything. I was so close, I could do it now.

I begin running the water and step into the shower, feeling the warmth drench my body. I close my eyes and imagine that it is a waterfall, crashing down on me, drowning any worries I might have. My jet black hair falls down over my shoulders as it is soaked. I reach for the shower gel and begin lathering it over my body. My eyes still closed to prevent water from entering them.

That's when I feel it. A tiny bump in my left breast. I pause suddenly, my eyes flying open, standing frozen in the hot water. I raise my shaky hand and cautiously touch the area I had just passed, hoping I had imagined it. Sure enough, I felt the lump again, very predominant under the flesh. I had always checked for things more subtle than this, I stare down but I can barely see anything. I quickly reach my hand out and turn the water off, sliding the other hand over the bump several times, as if trying to make it disappear.

It was nothing. I was sure it was nothing. It couldn't be anything serious... Nothing like this ever happened to me. No. I was normal, I was perfectly normal. I had always been normal. But the more I touch it, the more I know that I am kidding myself.

This wasn't happening.