Ella:
I feel so alone right now; so distant from the world that I used to know. As he shifts his weight onto his elbow and his cold eyes meet mine, I know it is true. I am not a human anymore; I am just a puppet for the Capitol. All I wanted now it to have a true feeling of passion and love. Right now I had no feelings, I just had a small feeling of redemption.
"What is a matter, Ella darling?" he tries to soothe me over and make me feel. The man lying in the same bed as me pulls over my body and kisses my cheek. He was so passionate and I wondered why. He was so different from the other guys that I was forced to sleep with. I just close my eyes, day dreaming that he was the guy with the golden-green eyes that I met merely days ago. Was it days ago? I could not remember now, all I do is his face.
"Nothing, Seneca," I spat, turning my body away from the Gamemaker.
I could hear his sigh all the way from here, he pulls his arms around me and whispers, "it sure does not sound like nothing."
His hot breath on my neck is enough to send tingles down my spine, but I still feel no emotion. "What is it to say, that I cannot feel anymore, nor can I get one off my mind? I am forced into these kinds of things and forced not to feel any pain. All I want is the one I am thinking of, but know nothing about him," I start rambling, "I just want to fee actual love, not the synthetic one that the Capitol wants me to have."
There is a brief silence before Seneca replies, "Just forget him, there is someone that loves you, just turn around." I turn my body around and let my head sink into his chest. Maybe I needed to get this boy off my mind. For all I know, this is my life now, useless and unforgiving. He starts to run his fingers through my hair making me sleepy. "Why are you so passionate?" I ask on the brink of entering the dream world.
"I love you, Ella. I am trying to have a child with you," Seneca kisses my cheek again.
My eyes become the size of snowballs, I was wide-awake now, "what do you mean that you want to have a child with me? Why is that so important to you?"
Seneca's eyes thin, "you do not know about the 'clause'?"
I pull myself out of his arms and the bed, pull over a robe, and stare down at him. "What the hell is the 'clause'? So no, I do not. It turns out that Snow had some more explaining to do?" Anger was taking over my emotionless body; rage and fury filled my impassionate eyes.
"The clause where if you get pregnant, the father of the conceived child would get you out of the prostitution thing and be your husband. You would be out of this dispassionate pain," He explains, but I am already wanting to leave grabbing onto my bag with my clothes and reaching for the door knob, "now if you leave, Snow would have to hear about this. Lets just say anything precious to you would be gone." I just ignored his threat, pulling the door open and running out of the apartment grabbing my shoes on the way. He did not follow, which was a sign that I was free. I was free from his oppression that I had for the past three days.
I hit the button on the elevator and wait there with the barrier that was my robe. I carry my shoes in my hand, my bag in the other. When the elevator arrives I push up my glasses and step in. I was the only one on the short ride, so I decide to get dressed. I pull over a hooded sweatshirt before grabbing onto my bag. I wait for the silvery doors to open to get me out of this hell and into the place that I know my family and friends care for me. When the bell rings singling that I had made it to the bottom floor, I am relieved and exit through the lobby and into the chilly night air of the night in the Capitol.
The only thing I do is wander aimlessly through the streets of the Capitol, which seemed like a ghost town this early in the morning. There is a small wind that blows through my hair and nips at my nose. The cold outside turns me into an icicle. I had to get to the training center and the square, but I have an issue about finding my way around. Eventually I find a peacekeeper that leads me through the streets and to the training center. "Thank you kind sir," I whisper to the man, trying to slip him some money.
"No, keep it, it was my pleasure. Now have a nice day Ella," the peacekeeper whispers before going back to his patrol. I smile as he leaves and enter into the building quietly. I go into the elevator and hit the number eight and let the elevator take me home to my father. When the metal doors open, I just push my way through. Everybody was asleep, including the avoxes that worked on our floor. I just fall back on the couch, discarding my bag to the side. I turn on the television to find a repeat of my Hunger Games is on. It was just starting so it was after the reapings; the Head Gamemaker was talking to Caesar.
"Well, Aaron, what do you think about the tribute selection this year?" Caesar question the man, "anybody you want our citizens to root for?"
A smile stretches on the man's face, "Well I just have to say, and you better look at District Eight tribute Ella Hawthorne. She is the daughter of a victor, she is bound to be as good as a career tribute."
"Well you heard it here everybody, look at District Eight in the tribute parade tonight. I am the head of ceremonies Caesar Flickerman," Caesar signs off and the screen goes black.
I quickly shut off the television before I could see any more things that remind me of the games. They all were dark memories that I just wanted to erase from my mind. I killed to many people; I heard to many cannons; I did not want to go back into the arena visually or mentally, nor physically. I just hold onto the remote with a strong grip, I never did get out of the arena. I am still living through the Hunger Games.
"Ella, what are you here and what are you doing up?" I hear a loud yaw come from a female behind me, "are you supposed to be at Seneca's till noon?"
I turn around to find Cecelia who is still in her nightgown, I just give her the same unemotional face, "I was supposed to be, but I learned about his plans and ran from the house as fast as I could. I am sorry Cecelia, but I can not stand this anymore."
Cecelia walks over and sits by me and puts her hand onto of mine, "sweetheart, you can not stand up against the Capitol like that. Now I fear that you or you father might get hurt. Did you want that to happen? Anyways, what was Seneca's plan?"
I gulp, I probably put a death sentence on my father and me, "I just did not want to be forced to marry him, and he was trying to have a child with me. There is a clause that if I do get pregnant; I have to marry the man that is my conceived child's father. I do not want to marry Seneca Crane, I just want to see the boy I met at the party days ago."
"You want to have someone that you love marry you, the love should be mutual. Maybe, if it happens, we can hide a pregnancy from Snow. You do not have to come to the Capitol when you do. Unless they have you go to Capitol doctors," Cecelia was spacing out, "we can easily hide it and you would never have to marry. If worst comes to worst we will object the marriage. If you want that boy, you might as well go to Five. Actually let me call Elizabeth up here…maybe she can explain more about it." She lifts herself from the couch and heads over to the phone across the room. I have yet to meet his boy, but I already had a plan to have a child with him? I shake the idea off my mind.
"Well hello all you textile people!" Finnick Odair's perfectly toned voice echoes through the room, "I am searching for Ella Hawthorne! You have a visitor!" Finnick enters his room, even beautiful at this time of the day, he smiles, "Now I heard you stood up against Seneca Crane, now that was a risky move, but congrats I would never have the courage to do that."
"Thank you, Finn," I whisper, staring at his sea-green eyes, "now who is my visitor?"
A smile stretch across Finn's face, "hey boy with the golden-green eyes!"
My eyes widen and I start to frantically search for his face, it enters next to Finnick, "hello Ella, I am Cinna." He gives me a small wave and drops his arm to his side.
"Cinna," I must have sounded like an idiot, "it is actually you."
He chuckles and steps over to me, taking a seat right down next to me, "you actually are prettier in person. I really do swear that I cannot get you off my mind. You had some type of narcotic effect on me, and I have to tame my addiction. A kiss?" I nod my head and lean in to kiss his soft pink lips. At first both of eyes were open, trying to see if the other was actually enjoying the kiss. Eventually both of our eyes close and we both explore each other's lips and mouths. It was the most passionate kiss I ever had, and if had been before the prostitution it would have been my first.
"Okay you two, you need some air at one point," Finnick breaks us apart, "three days, not knowing her, and you already have made out with her? You have some type of effect over woman that I need to know about. Anyways, Cecelia called me up here along with Elizabeth, who should arrive any moment."
"You two make such a cute couple!" Cecelia exclaims, tapping Cinna and me's shoulders before starting a private conversation with Finnick. It left me and this boy sitting alone and right next to each other.
"So, how old are you?" Cinna asks, "no wait, I remember the betting board, you are fifteen? Am I correct?"
I nod my head, "how about you?"
"I am currently nineteen-years-old, I will be twenty in another month," he replies, he grabs onto my hand. His hands were soft and I just stare at his grip then look back up. We shared this of complete intimacy, and then Elizabeth finally comes to our floor.
"Okay? Finn? Cecelia? What is so important at three in the morning?" she spoke in a thick accent, but everybody could understand.
"How long does it take to get to District Five if we leave right now?" Finnick asks frantically, almost knocking the sleepy ginger off her feet.
"Two hours to be exact," she replies, "why Finn are you going to five?"
"Okay you do genetic engineering there, right? Can you help some friends of mine? This matter is a life or death situation, were some of the people in the room can be gone. Please do help," Finnick rushed out his words, some of them, slurring.
"Yes, we do. Your friends, are they trying to conceive a child? If so, who are they exactly?" Elizabeth's eyes were large and focused onto Finn. He points to Cinna and me, and whispers some words into her ear. She nods her head and turns to the two of us. "Okay you two, just follow me," Elizabeth points her finger at the two of us, making us walk behind her into the elevator.
When we step on, she starts to explain to us about what was happening, "Okay you two, it looks like Ms. Hawthorne has gotten herself into a predicament, and it can mean life or death. Cinna, I need you to be a father, and Ella you a mother. You two are going to have to have a child, to give an excuse for her getting angry with a Gamemaker. We have bigger prices to pay if we do not."
"Wait, wha-?" She cuts me off mid sentence, "you have no other choice Ella. I know you like this boy, lets just say do you want to be star-crossed lovers?" I shake my head, looking at Cinna who is standing quietly. I knew he already knew about this plan and was on board with it. I guess I had to as well, to be a mother you needed a good father on your side.
I let my hand slide on top of his, I ask, "together?"
His attention turns to me, his fingers interlock with mine, "together, forever."
"I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together."
― Lisa Kleypas, Blue-Eyed Devil