Stargate Atlantis: Devil's Advocate3
Of course he would have to see me when I was making a fool of myself. He would just have to walk in when we just talking about him and those sexy gray pants of his. And then I had to be a fool and go on about it. And then then singing started and of course he would walk in when I was on top of the table, gyrating and singing about desire. I was so embarrassed but I think I hid it well.
At least I like to think I did.
John seemed to be amused by it all, and his beautiful green eyes held a modicum of interest in me, or so I made myself believe at the time. He flirted with me: the tilt of his head, the smile, the way he stood, one hand on his hip. Our words were teasing, trading sarcasm for sarcasm which I believe we both enjoyed. He seemed to enjoy the banter as much as I did. And that boyish swagger, the wink of his eye…I thought I had made an impression. Probably a bad one but at least I had made one.
At least he might remember me.
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"I do not understand your reasons, John. John? John! Do not ignore me!"
John was trying to do exactly that, as he adjusted his TAC vest as he stood in the armory. He had his back to Teyla but even so he could feel the Athosian's glare. He inwardly swore and finally turned to see her. She was standing near, hands on her hips, pure ire in her eyes. "This is a purely military mission," he stated firmly. Most would back down from his stern tone.
Not Teyla. "Then why is Ronon going?"
"Ronon's military, remember? Satedan military, but still military, and he assures me he can handle a mission like this."
"And Rodney?" Teyla asked, still glaring as she was not convinced.
John shrugged. "He insisted."
"Then I am insisting."
"No. He's got a dead fiancé to avenge, and I am going to make damn sure he's not the next victim! You have a child and a husband and I need you here in Atlantis in case things go south."
"Those are just excuses!"
"Those are reasons!" John argued, becoming angry. "I've made my decisions and they are final!" He turned away to procure a P9, ignoring her wrath and indignation, her concern. He reloaded a clip as she stormed out of the room, nearly crashing into Ronon on the way.
"Wow…she didn't take it well?" Ronon asked, quickly sidestepping before the Athosian woman mowed over him. He entered the armory. His big long coat flapped behind him.
"Not at all," John said gruffly.
"Maybe you should let her come."
"No."
"Okay. Your call."
"Thank you." John adjusted the safety on the gun. He turned to see Ronon checking his big gun. Underneath the long coat the Satedan was wearing a TAC vest as well, which was unusual but John didn't say a word. Instead he scowled, waiting, but the Satedan seemed engrossed in his task. "Well?"
"Well what?"
"That's all you have to say?"
"Yes."
"Good."
"I don't care what you say, John, I am going so don't try to bully me out of this!" Rodney said quickly as he entered and grabbed a TAC vest. He yanked it on, fighting with the zipper as he talked quickly. "I am on the team and have every right to go and by God I am going to go if only to keep you from some damn heroic suicidal mission because the more I think about it the more it sounds like a suicide mission or at least a trap but if I have the chance to confront that bastard Todd after what he did I will and nothing you can say will stop me!"
John and Ronon exchanged glances as at last the physicist paused to take a breath. "Okay, Rodney. Here."
"Here? Here what? A…oh." Rodney's rant stopped as he saw the gun that John was holding out to him. It was a 9mm handgun. He was at a brief loss, having marshaled a host of arguments to convince John to agree, but John had already agreed and now Rodney didn't need all those extra words. "Okay then. I think it's a wise decision not to have Teyla along, in case, you know." He took the weapon and holstered it at his thigh.
"I know. And we've got a marine squad for additional backup. Listen, Rodney, just don't go all postal on Todd until we get the intel we need, all right? I'll have Ronon restrain you if you try anything like that." It sounded like a joke, and the Satedan smiled, but John was dead serious as he watched Rodney fumble with the holster strap.
Rodney met his gaze, expecting sarcasm but instead finding solemnity. There was no mockery which both pleased and worried the physicist. "Okay, John. But don't stop me when the time comes. I have to do this. For, for Jennifer. For the city. For myself. And for you. All right?"
"All right. Just keep your emotions in check."
"I always do!" Rodney looked round. "Where the hell is my backpack? Damn it, I think I left it in the lab! And I better add some extra protein bars in case I, I mean we need them. And some chocolate 'cause you never know…" He sighed, strode out of the room.
John and Ronon exchanged a smile.
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He saved me. I know that it cost him, to kill Lieutenant Ford, but he did it to save me. I was afraid that he would blame me for that, or resent me. There wasn't time as we had to move and get back to the others. He had wanted to see the alien. The body was gone. I could have sworn that it was dead, but I remembered feeling it move under me. At least I had the footage to review and the scant tissue samples.
He helped me walk as the pain in my foot was almost unbearable. I could barely support myself so he supported me, his strong arm around my waist as I held onto him. He guided me towards safety, both of us soaking wet from the rain and filthy from the muddy terrain. Both of us were injured and bloody and weary but we kept moving towards safety, towards the others. Even through the pain and the fear I reveled in the feel of being pressed up against his side, the feel of his muscles moving in tandem with mine, the warmth of his body and the strong surety of his protection.
Until Ronon's scream momentarily paralyzed us. But worse was to come. We lost Evan Lorne that day. We lost him. He was killed by those aliens.
When I came across John in my lab he scared the shit out of me. He was so silent in the dark. Brooding and grieving over Lorne as we all were. He felt a guilt he shouldn't have, but he did. Guilt in a long line of guilt, of deaths that he believed he had caused or could have prevented. He was telling his rosary beads but not with prayers; he was reciting the names of the fallen. So much loss, so much guilt, so much darkness encompassed him. I like to think I eased some of that for him. I like to think that my compassion and empathy restored him, if only a little. That his dark experiences would see the kinship in mine, however unspoken they were.
He needed information on the new alien species and I would give him everything I had. He could rely on me and I would be his go-to scientist for that sort of thing and for anything that he needed. He was kind, relaxing with me in that lab. It was just the two of us, two lonely souls in that city. And he did like the beer. A lot. And when I stumbled and stammered and my own emotions rose to the surface in my inept apology he was there for me. He hugged me. It should have been awkward, but it wasn't. The feel of his strong arms around me, the feel of our bodies pressed together, the long, lean lines of him, the warmth and the strength. The gratitude and the comfort he freely gave me without my asking. Wordless.
It was wonderful.
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John shut the door behind him, an unusual thing in itself, but it was the gravity on his face that made Richard move to his feet. The Atlantis leader moved round his desk, adjusting his glasses as he looked at the military commander. John was decked out for the mission, entirely in black with a TAC vest that appeared both daunting and formidable. He held a P90. "Contingency."
"Excuse me?" Richard asked, then realized. "In case you don't come back?"
John nodded. "It's all in the file. Well, I need to revise it since Lorne's not…anyway it's all there in case I don't make it back."
"It sounds like you're not planning to make it back…you…no. John, you can't."
John shrugged. "It's the only way to really find out what's going on with the Wraith. If a chance presents itself I will go with Todd to meet this queen. Like it or not they are our best bet against these new guys. The enemy of our enemy, you know."
"No. I can't let you take that risk! We can ally with the Coalition and convince the Genii to—"
"They're useless and we both know it. Apart from us only the Wraith have the technology that might have a chance against these new guys. If we have to go to bed with the Devil in order to save Atlantis then that's what we have to do. What I have to do. At least with Todd we have a known variable. Rodney can keep track of me once he's back in the city…and the city will as well."
"In that case you need to take a Jumper to—"
"No. No one knows about this except us, and I am keeping it that way."
"You won't be able to get back to Atlantis."
"Perhaps not, but I think that I will. If they want our help they will let me go…eventually." John suppressed the dark doubts in his mind. "As I said, the contingency plans are in there in case I don't make it back. The city…um, the city will go along with this. Just keep Beckett here because he can access the Ancient Chair if it becomes necessary."
"The city will…" Richard shook his head, baffled, but deciding not to question. He stepped to John. "If you truly believe this is the right course of action I won't try to talk you out of it."
"Thank you."
"Or as much as I disagree. We know next to nothing about this new queen and who knows what her agenda could be. Once the fug…the new aliens are eliminated as a threat the Wraith will turn back to us."
"Just like old times," John agreed. "For now let's tackle one alien threat at a time. There is to be no extraordinary actions taken if I don't make it back. I will make damn sure everyone else does."
"I understand, colonel. But I hope that it doesn't come to that." Richard held out his hand. "Good luck, colonel."
John took the other man's hand and shook it. "Good luck to us all."