Chapter 33:
Cartman PoV
I was over the moon. Finally. Finally something had paid off. I had always hated Mr Logan, I mean, he was the teacher who forced me to do sports. But yesterday he had made my life complete. Not only had showed my year that I was no longer 'fat' but I had also weighed in lighter than Bebe Stevens. Bebe Stevens; the captain of the cheerleading squad, who ate salad for every meal of the day. I of course knew why that had occurred, but it didn't stop me from finding it hilarious.
I did feel a little sorry for her, I mean, I had been in her position once. Which was why I was heading into the lunch canteen for the first time in three months. To pay my respects, as well as twist the knife in a little further.
"Bebe, Jew." I nod when I arrive at their table. It was just the two of them today, for some reason. I didn't know why she wasn't eating with lover boy, maybe they still hated each other after Portia's party, which ironically, was the best night of my life. I instantly put on my sweet little boy voice. The sort which makes me seem nice but everyone knows I'm not. The voice I used when I needed my money back from Scott Tenorman after he sold me his pubes, or when I wanted to go to Casa Bonita so badly I had to be nice to Kyle. "I just wanted to say, I know how you feel. Bebe I mean, not you Kyle, I could never know the horror of being well... You."
"Fuck off fatass." He spits.
"Well you see, that's the thing." I smile. "I am no longer classified as 'fat', so your point is invalid."
"Yeah, you probably broke the scales when you stepped on them so they showed an incorrect weight." He hisses.
"Very good Kyle." I nod at him. "But if that was the case then I'm sure Bebe's scales would have snapped in two."
"Just go away Cartman." She mutters, through gritted teeth. She hadn't raised her head since I arrived at the table.
"Sorry what was that Bebe?" I ask her.
"I said go away." She raises her voice slightly.
"Kyle." I turn back to him. "Do you have any ideas as to why Bebe weighed in so heavy?"
"No. I also don't care." He sighs, but I can see the alarm in Bebe's eyes which confirms that she hasn't told him.
"What if I told you-" I begin.
"Ok! Ok!" She stands up suddenly. "What do you want?"
"I would like you to come on the show next week." I smile, satisfied with her response.
"The show?" She frowns.
"The morning announcements." I prompt her. "Next week is interview week and your slot is Tuesday."
"No." She replies, stubbornly. "You'll rip the shit out of me."
"Kyle." I turn to him again, tactfully. "Perhaps you would be interested to know-"
"Fine!" She yells, which causes the tables around us to turn and stare. "I'll do it."
"Excellent." I give a slight bow before I walk off and I can hear Kyle's confused chatter behind me, asking her why she was so afraid of me. Next up, I was headed towards Kevin, Lola, Jenny and Pete's table.
"Lola, Jenny." I greet them. "How wonderful to see you both again."
"What the fuck do you want?" Jenny mutters, rudely.
"Well since your asking." I respond. "I was wondering if you'd help me with a little project."
"No." Lola replies instantly.
"It's nothing massive." I tell them. "Just a little bit of fun."
"No." Jenny confirms.
"Jenny, do you remember when I made you shit your pants in class after putting laxatives in the cupcakes I gave you?" I continue to keep up my cheery tone.
"Vividly... Wait that was you?" She suddenly yells. Oops, that wasn't a good move.
"Well anyway, I wanted to do a similar thing with someone you really hate..." I decide to go down another path.
"Unless you're gonna throw yourself under a bus again or run away to Somalia-" Lola starts.
"Again." Jenny adds.
"We don't care." Lola finishes.
"Bebe Stevens." I whisper the name as if it is some sort of detective show and I see Jenny's face brighten up slightly.
"What do we have to do?" She questions.
"Morning announcements, Wednesday morning, I'll explain the rest then." I respond, professionally.
"...I want fifty bucks." Lola negotiates and Jenny nods in unison.
"Fine." I snap.
"Each." Jenny pushes.
"Done." Another upside of not eating was the fact that it allowed me to keep my lunch money to spend on purposes such as these. Although the chicken nuggets on Kevin's tray were virtually calling my name. I had to get out of here. "Right see you Wednesday then."
I turn on my heel and head for the door. Of course, their interview would have nothing to do with Bebe, just to gather a bit more information on their current... relationship status' and make the announcements a bit more interesting. I am stopped in my tracks however when I notice Stan sitting on a table with Douglas, Francis and Peter Mullen. Well what the fuck was happening here?
"Stan?" I frown and he turns to look at me instantly, probably because the mention of his name is a rare occurrence.
"Fuck off." He spits, stirring his spaghetti round his plate with a fork and staring at it sullenly. This seemed to be a regular greeting whenever I was near.
"These your new friends then?" I force a kind smile.
"...Yeah." He gulps, bravely. "Problem?"
"Interesting." I nod and then wedge myself down on the bench next to him, which causes Peter to slide off, letting out a small shriek as he does so. I forget about apologising to him and instead throw my arm around Stan's shoulders. "Stanley, you are a young, slightly clever... Used to be popular pupil."
"Don't call me Stanley." He hisses, helping Peter back up onto the bench.
"Right, so can I ask how in a matter of weeks, it has gone from being over there." He points to Wendy and Kenny's table. "To being here, with these people."
"Do you mind?" He drones, angrily. "If you gave my friends a chance you might stop and realise-"
"Oh so they are your friends then?" I question.
"Yes... As I have already mentioned." He frowns.
"...Stanley..."
"Stan." He corrects.
"...Stan." I nod. "What you need is some therapeutic... Rejuvenation."
"Where did you learn those words?" Francis suddenly pipes up, but I just blank him.
"So therefore I am giving you a free, VIP pass for you and two friends." I beam. "Any two friends you like... But not Peter."
"For what?" He groans, finally shrugging my arm off his shoulder.
"For... Drum roll please." I point to Douglas who taps the table once. "The morning announcements."
"What?" Stan rolls his eyes.
"I'm giving you a VIP pass to be on the show." I tell him. "Thursday, 9am."
"No thanks." He mumbles. "I'm busy then."
"Doing what?"
"Chewing on a pen." He responds.
"Bring it with you, it can have a VIP pass too." I cheer and turn to Douglas and Francis. "See you kids on Thursday." I wink at them quickly before leaping up and heading off out of the canteen doors. That was the way to deal with unhappy customers; not let them have an answer.
Wendy PoV
We are out of the doors before the school bell has even rang; I don't know why because I wasn't in a hurry to get anywhere, in fact, I was trying to delay time.
I had a hospital appointment tonight. It had been a month since I had been told I had breast cancer and so I was bricking it like crazy. This was going to be a full on meeting with a doctor, deciding what route I wanted to go down and starting to move forward with it. I was nowhere near ready to make this kind of commitment but I had left it too long and I knew that it was only getting worse.
I had been debating whether to ask Craig to accompany me all day; he was the only person who knew and I really didn't want to have to go on my own. There was a part of me that wished I could ask Stan, so that he could hold me when I cried and tell me it would be ok when I was scared. But I hated him. So that was not an option.
"Craig?" I blurt out, finally plucking up the courage to ask him. We were almost at his house so I had to do it quickly. Although I knew I couldn't tell him here and now because Kenny was walking alongside us.
"Yeah?" He turns to me.
"Well... I was just wondering if-" I begin before he is suddenly spun round by Clyde, running up and practically licking his face. For a second I thought they might be kissing...
"DUDE!" He claps his hands over Craig's face, waving two pieces of cardboard in front of his eyes. "YOU WILL NEVER GUESS WHAT I'VE GOT!"
"Gonorrhoea?" He guesses. "...Hopefully."
I give a slight laugh, which is something for me.
"TWO TICKETS TO TONIGHT'S RAPIDS GAME!" He screams.
"No fucking way!" Craig grabs them off Clyde. "Look at those seats! How did you get these?"
"Stole them off some freshman kid." Clyde shrugs and I roll my eyes.
"Dude, that's so not cool." Craig glares at him.
"Don't worry, I told him I'd stolen them." He sighs.
"So then you didn't steal them..." Kenny interrupts, clearly put out that he hadn't been invited to the Colorado Rapids game.
"Nah I did." He assures him. "But then I was like 'hey kid, you realise I've got your tickets'? They were hanging off his bag you see, who does that? Anyway, I got Annie to give him a blozza to keep quiet."
"And Annie just... Accepted just like that?" I frown.
"Don't worry, I'll pay her back." He winks. "I'm Clyde fucking Donovan."
"Yeah well 'Clyde fucking Donovan' not every girl in the school wants to sleep with you." I cough. "For your information."
"Oh that reminds me, you're a free agent now aren't ya?" He prods me in the arm. "You're still on my to-do list so let me know if you have a free house. Mind you, more your style isn't it." He turns to Craig.
"Dude." Craig sighs. "If these seats weren't so awesome I'd be punching you to bits right now."
"But they are." Clyde hypes. "So I'll pick you up at five."
He snatches the tickets back out of Craig's hand and swaggers up the road towards his house. Oh what it must be like to be Clyde...
"Sorry about that, did you want something?" Craig nudges me, softly and I reverse back to before we were rudely interrupted. Shit, the appointment.
"Um... Nope, doesn't matter anymore." I force a smile. "Forgotten what it was anyway."
"Look can we please make a move here?" Kenny exclaims. "The sun is setting, we'll be walking back in the dark otherwise."
Craig gives him some sort of 'cool dude' hand shake before heading off down his garden path and I walk with Kenny in silence for a while.
"Ugh man!" He finally interrupts the peace and quiet. "Another night of sitting in that dump on my own. I swear to God, I'm gonna go insane."
"What about Karen?" I prompt him.
"Ah, she practically lives at her friend Jessie's now." He shrugs. "Has done since mom got locked up. It's not like I have any money to support her."
"Yeah well don't start drinking again." I warn him. "It's getting to be a habit that."
"I don't have any money to buy it." He sighs as we reach my house. "See you then."
I wave him off and get half way down my path before pausing. I turn and watch Kenny as he trudges down the street, through the snow, head bent. Maybe I could tell him... Maybe if I could explain to him what was going on, I wouldn't have to rely on Craig all the time... Plus he had said that he had nothing to do tonight...
"KENNY?" I yell, through the cold air and he immediately turns to face me. He was right, it was getting dark now and we were both almost silhouettes. I run quickly back up the path to stand a few meters away from him.
"This isn't one of those moments like in films where it's all cold and then you run up street and kiss me in the winter air is it?" He looks a bit resistant.
"No." I frown. "At least I hope not."
"Good." He approaches me slowly.
"Good." I give another cough and we stand there for a second.
"So..." He prompts me.
"Oh! Yeah um..." I start, my words suddenly getting mixed up as I try to categorise what I was trying to say. "I wondering was you'd if..." I blurt out and he looks confused as hell. I take a deep breath and start again. "Ehem... I was wondering if you'd come to the hospital with me tonight..."
"The hospital?" He frowns. "You're not pregnant too are you?"
"No." I try to laugh but it sounds more like a weak bleat. We had learnt that we both knew about Bebe's pregnancy after I had let a comment about baby names slip out, luckily it had just been the two of us and I was glad to learn that he already knew. "...It's probably worse than that actually."
"Huh?" He gives me a concerned look before I stare down at the floor, kicking the snow with my boot. "Wendy? What's going on?"
"I um..." I mumble. "I have breast cancer." I finally admit, the words coming out all wobbly and weird again.
He stands there staring at me for about a minute before opening his mouth. "...What? I... Are you serious?"
I just nod at him and I can tell in that second that he cracks just a bit more. Jeez, what was I doing to him? He already had enough troubles on his plate without having to deal with my problems; Bebe, his parents, the house, bills, his drinking, Karen.
"Just forget I said anything." I quickly change my mind but he grabs my arm as I turn to walk away.
"No." He stares at me, his blue eyes full of sadness and pain. "No, I'm coming with you."