A/N: Oh why hello there! Very little to say today, so let's keep this note short. First off, let me thank you all FOR GETTING US TO 100 REVIEWS! I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH RIGHT NOW YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW. THANK EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED AND WHO FAVORITED AND ALERTED THIS IT MEANS THE WORLD. You all gets cookies *grabs platter of delicious ginger snaps*Oh, and thank you everyone who wished Maddy a Happy Birthday, she freaked out when she saw the reviews ;) One last thing, and that would be me saying sorry. I know I told you all the last chapter would be the last of the Frank/Sirius/Alice thing but... this one is too. Now now, calm down, because we still have some gorgeous Lily/James fluffy stuff in this one so you have that ;) Okay now, go enjoy and PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW AND MAKE ME THE HAPPIEST PERSON ON EARTH. I update more often when I see the review count has gone up, because I feel like people are actually reading and enjoying it, rather then posting for no one. So.. yeah. Wow, this wasn't really a shirt author's note... okay whatever. Go read.
A few weeks later, I noticed Lily seemed very distant and distracted, and I wondered what I could do to change that. So as I dismiss the class for lunch, I choose Lily to help me put the balls back in the Quidditch chests. "Are you okay?" I ask her, trying not to look too concerned should anyone be watching.
"What do you mean?" she says, also not making eye contact. But this time it seems like she does it because she doesn't want to face me instead of any onlookers.
"Lily." She hears the sharpness in my voice and looks up instantly. I see, in her eyes, what must be confusion, sadness, and that emotion that can only be described by wanting to help in some way-and not being able to. "What's bothering you?"
She sighs and suddenly sits down on the grass, looking dejected. I glance around-no one in sight-and sit next to her. "I wish I could tell you, James," she murmurs. At her soft, sad tone I reach out and brush her face with my hand, which she grasps and holds in the place I touched her. "But it's not my secret to tell."
I give her a solemn smile and nod. "I understand. But if you do ever need anyone to talk to-"
"You'll be the first person I go to," she interrupts, causing my smile grow. We stand and walk to the dining hall hand-in-hand until the very last moment we'll be able to.
Sirius is even worse off than Lily, and I don't have the very slightest idea why. He's supposed to be my best friend, but there's nothing I can do. All he does is lie on his bed, staring at the ceiling, occasionally letting out a very large sigh. That is exactly what happens as I complete some summer work for school, before throwing my quill down on my desk and sauntering over to his bed.
"Talk," I say, sitting on the edge of it. "Now." He looks at me for a moment: not a glare, not a confused glance, not a sad stare, just a blank look. Then he sits up in bed and does what I told him to.
"You know Alice Prewitt, right?"
"Duh."
"Yeah. See, the thing is...I'm kind of in love with her." I fall off the bed in surprise.
"Okay, wait, wait wait," I start, regaining my original composure. "You, are in love, with Alice Prewitt. A girl you have never expressed interest in before, has a boyfriend of like three years? The bookish, quiet, opposite-of-you Alice? I mean, frankly, she isn't even that gorgeous. I mean, don't get me wrong, she's pretty, but compare her to, say, Lily Evans..."
"This isn't about your personal taste in girls, Prongs. I..." Sirius sighs. "I'll tell you the full story." I nod, sitting back down, to encourage him to continue. "During the Christmas holidays last year, you three were off doing Merlin-knows-what...And Alice and I..." He breaks off, heaving yet another sigh. "I had liked her for a really long time. Then we actually kissed and stuff...and damn it, Prongs, she was one hell of a kisser. It's not like we shagged that night, but we almost did.
"If I thought it would get her out of my head, it didn't. It only made her stay in longer. And now...I really do love her. Like you love Evans." He pauses, and I'm not sure if he's done talking or what.
"So that's why you're so torn up?" I clarify. "Because you love her but she's with Frank and stuff?"
"But that's just the damn thing, Prongs!" Sirius yells, standing and pacing with a sudden anger. "She said that last night, when she saw him for the first time in weeks, she was going to break up with him. But guess what she did instead? She accepted his proposal to bloody marry him! They're engaged!" Holy shit.
"I...I...dear Merlin," is all I'm able to say, and even that doesn't sum up what I'm thinking.
"It's one thing to be with her when they're dating. And he's never really there. But to be married to him...even engaged...I can't do it, James. That's not my place to interfere."
He sits back down on the bed and buries his face in his hands. I pat him on the back and say quietly, "That's the right thing to do, mate. If you truly love her...that's the right thing to do. I'm sure he'll make her happy."
"But that's it," says Sirius, his voice sounding very strained and small. "We've talked before, about...us. And she says...Frank was always safety. A constant in her life. But there was never any passion. Well, I'll tell you right now, the passion between us would rival that between you and Evans. And doesn't she know that I could be that constant? I love her enough to...to change. To be there for her. I don't know, I guess I'm not strong enough for her..."
When he says this, I think of what would happen if Lily told me she would be able to be with me, then ended up marrying some other guy she didn't love. I think I would jump off the roof of the walkway of Tower Bridge. The way Sirius is handling it is pretty strong to me.
"Padfoot, this is really hard for you, I know. But...prove that you really love her."
"How?" he croaks.
"Let her go. And I suppose that's very hypocritical coming from me, when Merlin knows I could never get over Lily-"
"Exactly Prongs. You tried to get over her. You never tried letting her go. And I'm glad you didn't. If you did...you would never have gotten what you have now. But now I know. Alice and I could never have what you and Lily have. We realized our feelings for each other too late. We were already marked as these people, with these people, and there's no going back." He swallows. "That's why you're right. I...I should and will let her go. Acknowledge what has been, push aside what is, and ignore what could. Doing anything else wouldn't be fair to either of us."
I am absolutely dumbfounded by this nugget of absolute wisdom. I didn't know Sirius had it in him.
"Someday," I mutter quietly. "Someday you'll find the right girl."
"Frankly, I already have," he replies, sounding just as hopeless as he has this whole conversation. "And I've lost her." I don't know how to reply to this, but luckily Sirius senses that. "Oh, who am I to bore you with my problems," he says, returning to his usual (if only a bit more sad-sounding) way of speaking. "I'll let you do your schoolwork in peace now." He stands and leaves, but turns back around as he reaches the door. "And she is very beautiful, Prongs, if you really bother to look."
"Sirius is really torn up about what happened between him and Alice," I tell Lily the next night. We're lying in the middle of the Quidditch field where we practice, having stayed after closing time so that we could practice her flying. We had finished with that about an hour or two ago and moved on to other, more...stimulating activities. But even those have reached a pause as we rest, enjoying each other's company and the view of the stars above.
"Well, Alice is too, you know," she replies, a little harshly. But any tones of bitterness are ameliorated by the way she traces circles with her thumb on the back of my hand. "She really does love him. But she knows that she can't be with him. It's like-"
"They realized their feelings for each other too late," I say, quoting Sirius. Lily doesn't speak for a moment, but I can almost here her thinking.
"Exactly like that." There are many questions I want to ask, but I don't give her any of them. Instead, I gaze at her profile: the slope upwards of her nose, the full shape of her lips, the bareness of her chin and neck.
"Last night, Sirius said something about us. About me, really. He said I tried to get over you, but I never tried letting you go, and that's a good thing, because if I had, we never would've had what we do now. He said that was the difference between us and him and Alice-I could never let you go, but he knows he has to let her go." I don't know if I was expecting a reply to this, but Lily doesn't give me anything. And I'm fine with that.
At a much later time, so long I don't even know how much time has passed, I hear her whisper, "I'll never let you go, James Potter."
A/N: HEHE I hope you liked it and I would love to know what you think... hmm... do you guys want to know what the next chapter is on? Well, I'll tell you, and hopefully it will motivate you to review. It's full moon time! Plus, we have a certain pair of parentals walking in on our favorite couple. Anyone who reviews saying "I want more!" can get a few hundred word sneak peek! PLEASE REVIEW EVERYONE! THANK YOU AGAIN FOR GETTING US TO 100 REVIEWS!