There was a mistake in that last chapter, as a lot of you probably picked up, I was informed by RatherOddRanger that it should have been Stan's PoV at the end and not Wendy's, so sorry about that!

Kenny PoV

"Oi." I'm stabbed in the back by a sharp finger and turn to see Red, staring at me intently. "Where's Bebe?"

"I don't know." I lie, knowing that she was actually still at my house and refusing to come to school because of the pregnancy.

"Yeah you do." She responds, rudely. "She hasn't been in school for days."

"I'm her boyfriend not her life tutor." I shrug her off, taking a sip of the vodka from my apparent 'water bottle'. It was great, no one ever had to know, as long as I didn't release the fumes in front of anyone.

"What's happened to Cartman?" She continues, when I try to turn around.

"Ey?" I frown.

"He's in hospital apparently." She informs me. "There's rumours on Eavesdropper saying Stan had something to do with it."

"So... Ask Stan?" I suggest, rolling my eyes at her.

"Can I have a sip of water?" She persists and I freeze slightly. "I'm being serious Kenny, I've forgotten mine and my throat is really dry."

"No." I reply, bluntly. "...I have the flu, wouldn't want you to catch it."

"No you don't!" She retorts. "Please, I might not be able to speak soon."

"Which would be a blessing to us all." I spin around, placing my head back into my hands.

"Is this shit true about Cartman being in hospital?" Clyde asks the whole of homeroom as he enters, Bridon at his side.

"The morning announcements will be brought to you today, by Casey Miller." Principal Victoria's voice booms out over the room, conveniently answering everyone's questions.

"What are you two sniggering at? Homos." He adds on the end, rudely pointing at Jessie and Kal across the room.

"Nothing to do with you Windmill." Kal pipes up, glaring at him. "It was to do with Bridon."

"Hey, Bridon you pulled a bunch of lesbians." Clyde elbows him sharply. "Nice."

"Ah that'll be about the video." Lola groans, from where she was draped over Kevin.

"What video?" Bridon frowns, as someone presents him with a phone. "'New Youtube footage! Proof Bridon is a lousy boyfriend; watch this clip of him playing basketball and ignoring Lola as she shouts 'I'm breaking up with you'." He reads. "Even states she's off to ask Kevin out on a date in said clip as Bridon simply replies 'yeah, Maze Runner sounds amazing, I'll take you next week...' Yes! I've made it Clyde, look there's a news video and everything."

"It's YouTube Bridon." Jenny huffs. "You haven't just hit number one in the charts."

"Yeah and besides, no one cares about that." Lexus chips in. "What I'm interested in is the absence of Cartman and Bebe... Or whether that tramp committed suicide in the end."

"Missing your boyfriend?" Millie teases.

"Why aren't any of the losers in school today?" Annie asks. "All of that group aren't around you know; Douglas, Francis, Emily-"

"Stop calling them that." Heads are turned as Wendy stands up by her desk.

"Sorry..." Red frowns, clearly finding the outburst hilarious. "What did you say?"

"I said." She announces. "Stop calling them that; losers and tramps. They're people, just like you. Why does there have to be some sort of hierarchy all the time?"

"Wow..." Red giggles, everyone shocked at Wendy's sudden defence. "Calm your tits babe."

"DON'T YOU DARE!" She suddenly screams running at Red. Shit, bad choice of words there.

"Wendy, Wendy stop it." I jump up, pulling her off Red's surprised frame, who was grabbing chunks of her hair to fight her off. "It's not worth it, don't."

"No one gets it Kenny!" She yells, giving up as my arms fold securely around her. "No one understands."

"I know." I whisper as she buries her head in my chest. I peer around the room, eyes glued to our entwined bodies. Red was staring at us with rage in her eyes, trying to play the martyr. This wasn't good for our reputation, then again, nothing was these days. It was like The Hunger Games but for gossip. With Eavesdropper so popular at the moment, Douglas was a clear example of how no one was safe.

I made that sound so deep, I guess it was the drink talking. Really, I didn't give a shit at all.

Cartman PoV

"Hey! Can I get some service in here?" I jab the button on my remote repeatedly, hearing it bleep persistently in the distance.

"Oi kid, it's not a fucking hotel." A woman opposite me snaps, pulling her earphones out. "I can hear you over the sound of these."

"Yeah well it should be." I moan. "I didn't ask to be stuck in this dump. Where's my mom anyway? She told me she was bringing my X Box."

"And where exactly are you planning on plugging that in?" She quizzes me, and I throw her a sulky expression. "What you doing in here anyway?"

"Oh I uh... I'm a spy you see, I saw three minorities and had to take them down in one." I lie, it made things more interesting. "Two bullets remaining, straight through the head, the chest, then had to take on the final one with my own toned physique. Obviously I gutted him, but, no hero emerges from a battle without a few bruises, hey? What about you?"

"...Drug overdose." She states, bluntly, clearly not fazed in the slightest by my story. "Why aren't you in a children's ward?"

"Because I was too cool, they thought I might intimidate them." I lie again, and she nods, disinterestedly, putting her earphones back in. Stuck with nothing to do again, I proceed to beat the attention button up repeatedly.

"What is it, Eric?" A nurse comes up to me, folding her arms in annoyance.

"Yeah hi, I don't want this." I point to the plate of what was supposedly macaroni and cheese... Or shepherds pie, in disgust.

"Just eat a few spoonfuls for me?" She sweetens her tone.

"I'm not five!" I object, pushing it away stubbornly. "And why would I eat it for you anyway? You look like a horse with gum disease... Any chance of plugging my X Box in when my mom gets here?"

"Eric you have a visitor." Another nurse walks up to me.

"Ladies please, alright." I hold my hands up. "No need to crowd me."

"Cartman?" Stan peers round and I have to refrain from looking surprised. What was he doing here? He was threatening to beat me up yesterday. "Can we talk?"

"I'll leave you to it." One of the nurse's says, pulling the other one off with her.

"Ehem..." Stan coughs awkwardly, pulling up a chair after draping the curtain round my bed. Oh great, so now Douglas had croaked it he was trying it on with me instead. "So... How are you feeling?

"...If you've come to turn my life support off I'm afraid you're too late." I blink at him, which he doesn't respond to. "...However if you've come to bore me to death, which we all know you're good at, a hospital probably isn't the right place to go either..."

"I know about the eating disorder." He blurts out, causing me to fall silent this time.

"...So why aren't you in school?" I attempt to divert the topic, but he doesn't move an inch.

"I'm being serious Cartman." He lowers his tone. "This isn't you, why are you starving yourself?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." I deny, causing him to huff, leaning back in his chair slightly.

"I was there, when the doctor diagnosed you." He tells me, which causes me to think. Now I actually didn't know what he was talking about.

"What?" I question and a look of recognition flashes over his face.

"With anorexia." He says, bluntly and the words hit me hard. In that second, with one word, reality had hit me. I had a feeling that was why I had collapsed but I hadn't let it faze me, just like I hadn't for the last six months. "...Why?"

"Why do you think?" I snap at him, forcing back tears. I would not cry in front of anyone, especially Stan Marsh. My throat aches, my teeth grind against one another as I try to prevent any emotion getting through. The strain, the pressure, the denial. "...I've spent my life being called 'fat'." I whisper, the words wavering as they slip off my tongue. "And yes, hypocritical I know... Because every day I have to label people; Jew, black, gay, poor... But you know why that is, Stan? It's because I'm so fucking insecure about myself that insulting other people makes me feel better. That's why I do it. That's why I'm such a sadistic, twisted, bitter, jealous... Cunt."

There's an awkward silence. I immediately regret letting the words flow, his expression was softening and I hated that, more than anything.

"I mean... I am anyway... But that just adds to it..." I try to cover over what I had just exposed, although this was also partly true. I wasn't gonna lie about the fact that I did relish in making other people's lives a misery, winding them up. I look up at Stan, who's staring at me intently, his hands clasped in his lap.

"...I really, really don't like you." He says, bluntly. Well that cheered me up... "But it doesn't mean I can sit back and watch you... Destroy yourself."

"I'll be fine." I tilt my head towards the ceiling, studying the cracks in it, wishing I wasn't here. "I don't want your sympathy."

"It's not sympathy." He shakes his head. "It's called being human."

"...Sorry, but when did you get morals?" I roll my eyes. "You slept with beetroot head like a day after splitting up with Cinderella."

"I didn't sleep with her." He tries to defend himself, realising this wasn't the topic at hand.

"So come on... Why are you so... Depressed or whatever?" I hiss and he looks at me, shocked. "Don't think no one has noticed, you look like you got to KFC one minute after closing time, every single minute of every single day... Is it because Cinders swept you under the rug?"

"See you're doing it again!" He retorts, adamant to avoid the question.

"What?" I snap.

"The name calling the... The constant jibes." He raises his voice slightly and I daren't look at him.

"Stan just go." I sigh, not having the strength to have yet another argument with him. "Please."

"...Ok..." He nods slowly, standing up and beginning to leave before turning around. "Cartman?"

"What?" I mutter.

"You remember when we were kids?" He reconciles, which was the last thing I wanted to discuss right now. "You pissed Kyle, Ken and me off to the max. We loathed you... But you were still our best friend. It wouldn't have been the same without you."

"Cute." I mumble. "Now go."

"Did you post those rumours on Eavesdropper?" He persists. "About Douglas, I mean?"

"No." I respond, certainty in my voice, and that confirmed it for him. "...Like I said, I was going to. But I didn't, someone else got there first. I don't know who, but... I just want to sleep."

"Alright." He whispers. "Take care of yourself."

Take care of yourself.

Like that would ever happen. I force myself not to cry, and it hurts, it hurts like my empty body. But it has to, it has to for me to live.

Kyle PoV

"Douglas?" I cry out, before even realising I was doing so. I spot him heading through the snow, hands wedged in his pockets. He looks around, surprised by the sound of his name. "You're ok?"

"Seems that way..." He mutters, attempting to walk off.

"No, no wait." I stop him, approaching him from behind. "I just... I'm so relieved."

"...Why?" He frowns.

"Because to think you might..." I trail off. "Why? Why did you..."

"Eavesdropper." The word hits me and he walks off. I don't bother trying to catch up with him this time. There was nothing I could say. I hated what I had turned into, I hated being gay, I hated being jealous.

I also hated, despite the fact it was extremely hypocritical, that Eavesdropper was coated in headlines sparking from yesterday's outburst. Although people already had their suspicions after the locker incident and, let's face it, lusting after my ex best friend, I had finally confirmed it for them.

I trudge up Bebe's garden path, knocking fiercely on the door. I needed to talk to someone, else I would just end up cutting myself again and I didn't want to resort to an act as weak and pathetic as that, even if I was a 'faggot'.

"Bebe in?" I ask her mom as she comes to the door.

"No." She replies, shortly, shutting the door in my face before I can persist further. I peer around the street, a bit confused as to what had just happened. My eyes focus on Tweek's coffee shop, at least he might be someone who understood...

Heading over, I push the door open, hearing the welcoming tinkle of the shop bell.

"What can I get you?" Mr Tweak asks as I approach the counter. "We've got a new deal on today; buy a large coffee of your choice and get a cake for half price."

"Uh... I'm here to see Tweek." I reply, and he looks a little disappointed at this. "Is he in?"

"Yeah should be." He shrugs, opening the barrier for me. "Come through."

I find my way up the stairs, recalling it from when we used to be close, as Tweek was our replacement for Kenny. Knocking softly on the door, he turns around in his chair, abruptly.

"Kyle?" He cracks a slight laugh, twitching at my appearance. "What are you doing here?"

"...I don't know really." I confess, feeling immediately stupid. Why was I here?

"Three guesses and two don't count..." He narrows his eyes. "I'm the first gay who came to mind, now that you're out the closet... Apparently."

"Apparently." I repeat, standing awkwardly in the doorway. "I just... Don't really know what to do..."

"Live your life." He shrugs, and the words make me smile. "Now that you know what your life is."

"Yeah..." I nod, making the decision to sit down on his bed and he stares at me intently, trying to figure me out. "My parents don't know yet... That might be an issue."

"How come?" He asks.

"Well... I don't really think it was in their plans..." I mutter. "The good little Jew boy, growing up like... This."

"They will get used to it over time." He assures me. "Mine were shocked, confused, questioning. But you get past that eventually."

"Ok and now problem B." I virtually cut him off, my palms shaking as I urge myself to say the word I had been bottling up for so long. "...Stan."

I don't look at him, I don't dare. I keep my gaze fixated on the carpet, begging him not to question me further, praying he would guess, or maybe already have an inkling.

I was right.

"He loves Wendy, Kyle..." He says it so quietly, so genuinely and it hurts me. It really, really hurts. My eyes brim with tears and I fight them back, I clench my fist, release it, clench it again. He loves Wendy. I knew that. I already knew that, I had for years. So why had my heart just literally broken? Why did I feel so beaten down, so hopeless, so consumed in sudden sorrow? It wasn't even that, it was pure lust, it was pure love, it was the thing I wanted more than anything in the world, that I couldn't have.

"It hurts..." I whimper, begging myself not to crumble, but I was and I couldn't help myself. I wanted to slice my skin apart, I wanted to feel the searing pain shoot through my flesh, I wanted to see the beads of blood, the anger, the hatred. I didn't want to sit here, hating Tweek for the words he just said, when I knew how true they were. I wanted someone to say to me 'he loves you Kyle', scrap that, I wanted him to say 'I love you' to me. I wanted to hear the words come out of his mouth, the softness of his touch, that look in his eyes that is always present when he's being deadly serious. Even if he was lying, even if he didn't want it at all, even if it made him extremely unhappy. I was selfish enough not to care, because that's how badly it hurt. That's how badly it would hurt forever.

"I know." He whispers, taking a seat next to me on the bed and reluctantly holding out his arms to cradle me in. I can't prevent myself from crying, I needed to, but I also needed to hit my head against a wall, repeatedly, maybe knock myself out, knock the last few months out of my head and go back to being the popular kid I used to be. When I had friends, and I was oblivious and I could go out to house parties, get wasted, get off with people and wake up the next morning feeling like shit. But that was nothing in comparison to how I felt now. I wished, more than anything that I could know what that felt like again. For my priorities to be who I kissed the night before, how many shots too many I drank, hating myself for spilling red cider all over my new jeans.

But that was then and this is now.

This is now and I can feel Tweek's hands on mine.

I can feel the intimacy, the craving, the desperation.

I part with him, forcing myself not to, but his eyes were fixed on mine and I was hurting. I was in so much pain that I needed some form of life support, and that, right now, was sat right in front of me. That, right now was waiting for me to lean in.

And I do.

And I did.

Until Craig walks in.

Please leave a review if you have time!