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Beta: RiverSong98

6. Life's Tough

They were in the Zeppelin on their way back to London, Jackie was embracing her daughter as said daughter was understandingly distressed after saying goodbye to the love of her life. Mickey and Pete were in a different room, discussing the policy of Torchwood, not that much got done. Both of them kept getting distracted by the thought of the heartbroken pregnant woman in the next room.

Rose thought about her last conversation with The Doctor. It had certainly not gone the way she had expected. She had yet to decide whether it had gone better or worse than she had expected, probably worse. She had nearly told him that she was pregnant with his child, she actually had told him but had taken it back.

The Doctor knew her and she knew that there was a fair chance that he knew that she had lied. She didn't know whether she wanted this to be true or not. She put her hand on her stomach and sighed, so far the pregnancy was pretty similar to a human, except a bit slower. She hoped that it stayed that way. The only person who would know what the differences are and how to deal with them was The Doctor and he was unreachable now. Of course, she didn't just want his knowledge, she wanted him to be the one to embrace her instead of her mother and help her through the pregnancy and then be there for their child. But that was impossible now.

She let out a sob as she thought about it again, and held her mother a bit tighter. She really wanted The Doctor to comfort her and tell her everything was going to be okay, just as he had done back when they were on Krop Tor. But the situation was worse now, back then he had been with her, together they could handle almost every problem.

But when they were apart?

She but a hand to her stomach, it was really a wonder that she was pregnant or just (bad) luck. There was no question as of when the baby got conceived since they had only been that intimate once. The Doctor, while making it clear that he didn't regret that it had happened, had explained to her that he was a bit against it if there wasn't a special occasion as it went against what his people stood for and he wanted to keep some respect to them as last of the Time Lords.

Rose had to give him that their first (and only) time had been for a very special occasion. It had been just after they had left Krop Tor, both of them had been very happy that they had made it out alive.

Rose opened the TARDIS' door. The Doctor looked up at her and smiled. They ran to each other and he gathered her up into his arms, lifting her off the floor. They giggled, so happy to know that both of them were still alive. He put her down and kissed her, she kissed him back, quite passionate. They kept going like this until they needed air.

"Why must things like this always be ruined by something so stupid as breathing?" Rose said, causing The Doctor to chuckle, while he was trying to catch his breath

The Doctor was still panting as he sent the TARDIS back into space and let her float around the spaceship a bit. He turned to Rose and tugged on his space suit.

"Any chance that you can help me getting out of this?" He asked the one question that fixed the event that would surely happen in the next hours between the two them.

"Sure." As she started helping him.

It took them 24 minutes to get him out of that space suit, this hadn't been without a fair share of kisses between the two of them, which resulted in both of them really wanting to take things to the bedroom. He stored the space suit for later use and activated the comm with the space ship again, while he tried to appear normal.

"Zach? We'll be off, now. Have a good trip home." He paused a moment. "And the next time you get curious about something... oh... what's the point? You'll just go blundering in. The human race..."

"But Doctor, what did you find down there? That creature, what was it?" Ida asked him.

"I don't know! Never did decipher that writing. But that's good! Day I know everything? Might as well stop." he answered.

"What do you think it was? Really?" Rose asked.

"I think... we beat it. That's good enough for me." he told her.

"It said I was gonna die in battle."

The Doctor caught her eye.

"Then it lied." He told her with confidence, he was hoping it to be true. Gosh, he really wanted to take things further now, so happy that everything was over, but also to enjoy their limited time together. However, he didn't want to at the same time, because the Time Lords were totally against things like that and he wanted to keep their legacy. But his love for the pink and yellow human won over the respect he had for the Time Lords.

"Right, onwards, upwards, Ida, see you again, maybe!" He told the other humans on the spaceship.

"I hope so." Ida said.

"And thanks, boys!" Rose said over the comm.

"Hang on though, Doctor. You never really said... you two... who are you?" Ida asked.

"Oh..." He looked at Rose, seeing the same desire in her eyes as he felt. Yep, they were certainly taking this to the bedroom. "The stuff of legends."

He pulled a lever and watched the time rotor rise and fall with Rose both of them smiling. That's when he couldn't take it anymore and turned to her, cupped her cheek and kissed her passionately once again. He broke the kiss and let her feel how much he wanted to have fun with her and she gasped.

"Do you want this?" He asked her.

"Yes, I do. Of course, I do." She pulled him into another passionate kiss.

"There's … only … one … thing …. left … to …. decide ..." He said in between kisses.

"Which is?" She asked before pulling him into yet another long kiss.

"Your bedroom … or mine?" He asked her.

"Whichever is closest." She started pulling him towards the hall.

The made a lot of stops to lean against the wall to kiss each other passionately (and, while neither of them would ever admit it later, nearly fell over 14 times.), Rose had put her hand in his hair and he had his hands on her back pulling her close to him.

It turned out that his bedroom was the closest, he opened the door as they leant against it, causing them to (finally) fall, the Doctor on his back and Rose on top of him. They giggled at this.

"This is going very smooth, isn't it?" Rose gave him a peck on the mouth and moved to get up.

"This is comfortable as well." He told her, as he prevented her from moving.

"And what's wrong with the bed standing barely 3 metres away from us." She asked him as she let her hand wander a bit.

"It's 3 metres too far away?" He tried, his voice going squeaky.

"Not good enough. Come on." She got up again and this time he didn't stop her but got up himself as well. He grabbed her by the waist, pulled her to him and kissed her once again. While he clumsy closed the door of his bedroom. They spent 5 and a half hours with their activities on that faithful night that both of them would come to think of as their best night ever, even years after this.

The Doctor stumbled backwards from the monitor, his eyes moistening again. He had just dropped of Donna at her home and had finally looked up Rose's medical record. It had told him exactly what he had suspected.

She was pregnant, with his child.

It was a boy, she had been a little over 3 weeks gone when they parted, something he already knew as he remembered that night perfectly fine. He put his face in his hand as he let out a small sob.

He hadn't just lost the love of his lives, but also his unborn son.

He started towards the hall stumbling while tears were running freely over his face. The way that she had(n't) told him about the baby, made it clear to him that she did want that baby. She probably would've married him as well. He would've been engaged if he hadn't been so...

He groaned, he was so angry at himself. He shouldn't have been so afraid to ask her to marry him. He pulled at his hair and groaned again, it hurt but it was the punishment he deserved, he could've given her so much more, but instead he had been too hesitant to stop following the Time Lords' law. Something he hadn't done before they got extinct.

"ARGGGGGHHHHHH!" He punched the wall out of frustration.

Thonk!

He should've realised his feelings earlier.

Thonk!

He should've confessed those feelings just after he found out about them.

Thonk!

He should've acted on those feeling earlier.

Thonk!

He shouldn't have been so hesitant to take things further.

Thonk!

He should've asked her to marry her.

Thonk!

He shouldn't have gotten her trapped in a parallel universe... He let out a sob and leant against the wall he just punched with his palms flat and forehead. He barely felt the pain in his clearly broken hand.

He stood there for a few minutes, thinking about all the things he could've done if he hadn't been so scared of his own feelings. Tears were running freely over his face. He took a deep breath and started walking again, to their room. He opened the door and looked around.

Both their clothes from the day before were lying on the floor, their bed unmade. It just looked like they were expecting to go back here just like it used to be, but it wasn't. He let out another sob. His eyes fell on the huge teddy-bear , that he had won for her, that was lying on the bed. The teddy-bear looked very hug-able at the moment and he walked towards the bed, his knees about to give out. He grabbed the teddy-bear pulled it into his arm and hugged it tightly, still barely feeling the pain in his hand. He climbed on the bed, got into fetal position and finally carried out his original plan before Donna had shown up.

Sobbing until the end of the week.