A/N: Hey babes, sorry, I was gonna upload this last night but my mom decided to come downstairs and catch me on the computer at like 1 o'clock when I should have been sleeping so.. haha. Um.. yeah, this is the next chapter. It's torture, I know, I know. Lily and James are... they are both very stubborn. But, never fear, Jily is endgame.

After the awkwardness that was patrol the night before, I decide that is it. I'm done. No more of the fighting and the awkwardness or any of it. I was going to get over him, once and for all, by simply ignoring him.

So, the next day in one of our classes, I find myself staring at the back of his head, daydreaming about us being a happy couple again, and I stop myself. If I'm going to do this, I've got to do it properly. That means no staring at the back of his head, no daydreaming, no talking to him, unless it is for Head business. And that's exactly what I do.

When I see him in the corridors, I avoid eye contact. When he comes into the Head's room, I make a quick excuse to leave. We walk in silence during rounds, me deflecting any sort of conversation he tries to make. And, surprisingly, it works. For a few weeks there, I feel like I might actually be getting over him. That is, if you don't count the butterflies in my stomach during rounds or his invading form into my dreams at night.

It all comes crashing down after once October hits and with that comes Quidditch. It's a chilly Saturday morning and I see people gathering in the Great Halls, great scarves wrapped around their necks and banners in their hands. Great, there's a match today. As I approach the table, I see Alice jittering nervously, her Quidditch robes adorning her body.

"Who are you playing today?" I ask once I sit down next to her. She is pickign at the food on her plate, yet not actually eating any.

"Hufflepuff. They shouldn't be too hard to beat, but it's still the first game," she replies, running her fingers through her shoulder length hair.

"I'm sure you'll do fine. I can't wait to hear about it," I gush, though knots tie in my stomach as I think about James out there on his broom, the wind rushing through his hair, focused on winning. I wipe my mind of him, trying to concentrate on here and now, rather then a daydream.

"Well, you won't have to hear about it, silly, you can just come and see now that you're not afraid anymore!" Suddenly, the small amount of breakfast I have eaten sits in my stomach funny and I don't feel too good.

"Just... Alice, I'm sorry, I can't.. James and everything... I mean- he's captain..." I try to explain, stumbling over my words and blushing at the thought of him. Damn you, James Potter, for making me into such a bumbling idiot.

"Lily, please," she pleads, laying her hand on top of mine. "I know it's hard for you to be there... but I really would like some support from my best friend. I have to go through seeing Sirius at every practice... please do this for me." She doesn't say it in a rude way, but I can see in her eyes how much she wants me to come.

"Of course," I finally say after a minute of debating with myself, "Of course I'll come."

"Thank you!" Alice cries, jumping up to hug me. After a moment, I pull away and smile at her, before continuing breakfast, the butterflies in my stomach raging now.

To make matters worse, I then hear a farmiliar voice behind me, smooth and masculine, say, "Hey, Alice, I need you to head on down to the pitch so we can warm up." I look over my shoulder and see him standing behind me, and we lock eyes. It's the first time I've properly looked at him in about a month, and I see his hazel eyes flicker in confusion.

It's like the entire world stopped, only for a moment, but the second are dragging on. Everything in that one moment reminds me of the summer, the soft kisses and the warm breeze.

It only lasts for those few seconds, before he glances down and the connection is broken. Flustered, I stand up in a dash, knocking my orange juice in the process, and wave a hand to Alice.

"I gotta go," I mumble, before rushing out, not a word toward James.

As soon as I start to climb the steps of the stands, I realize something it wrong. My head starts spinning and my stomach churning and I can't seem to think straight. A few more steps, and I feel even worse. People around me are rushing up, shoving me to the side seeing I'm frozen.

"Lily!" calls a distant voice, one I assume to be either Mary or Marlene. I don't wait around to find out, because I tear out of the stairwell, now feeling claustrophobic and sick. I didn't realize it at first, but now it all comes rushing back. This is exactly how I felt before, when I had my fear of heights. It didn't seem to be completely gone, I guess.

Tears form in my eyes, angry tears because this is all his fault. If he hadn't broken my heart, if he hadn't used me, played my out like one of his stupid birds, maybe this wouldn't have happened. But as it looked here, my fear had returned.

I push through the crowd, making my way up to the castle, before I hear another voice, one much different then the calling one before. This one is talking slow and deep and it's not talking to me.

"Amanda," sighs James, his hand perched on her cheekbone, brushing the hair from her eyes and leaning forward. They are situated behind a few trees along the path, probably thinking no one would want to watch their private encounter.

"Please," she replies, as she leans forward too. I close my eyes, before their lips meet, and let out a sob, before tearing away from path, and up toward the castle again. Twigs crack under my feet, while the October air stings my tear streaked cheeks, and I realize how heartbroken I really am. The picture of James, in his bright Quidditch robes and messy hair is burned onto the back of my eyelids, along with Amanda and her puckered lips.

"Lily! Lily! Evans!" he calls from behind, obviously noticing that I had seen the entire scene, laid out like some cheesy movie on the television. I don't stop though, knowing I won't be able to face him and his smirking grin and his pitiful eyes. He doesn't love you. He never loved you. He will never love you. I repeat them over and over again, trying to accept the fact.

I pass the Head's office before I find the common room, and decide to hide out there until the game is over. Fumbling with the key, I finally let myself in, before throwing myself down face first on the couch. He doesn't love you. And you will learn not to love him.

"I don't love James Potter," I whisper to myself, "I don't love James Potter. I don't love James Potter." Again and again, I repeat it to myself, curled up into a ball, back pressed to the couch, until finally, I almost start to believe it.

Almost.

I don't know what time it is when I am shaken awake, a large hand gripping my shoulder and slight moving it back and forth. Groggily, I sit up, unaware where I am or why there are dried tears sticking to my cheeks. It comes back when I see the culprit of the shaker, his messy black hair bringing back the memories of Amanda and James and my fear returning. I wish I could just go right back to sleep now.

"Lily, what are you doing here?" asks James tentatively, an almost fearful expression inhabiting his face. Looking around, I realize I'm in the Head's Office and slowly sink down further into the couch with embarrassment. How could I fall asleep here? In the one place he can find me?

"I.. I uh... just fell asleep," I stutter, my face flushing and burning red, as I slowly curse my ginger genes! "What are you doing here?" I bite back, glaring at him. "What if I wanted to continue sleeping without you interrupting?"

He hangs his head and mumbles, "Well... Gryffindor won and even if you don't usually come to the games I know you like the after parties. Also, I saw you running away earlier and just wanted to uh.. make sure you were okay." Suddenly I feel guilty, before pushing it to the back of my mind as I hear his last statement.

"Why do you give a shit, James? It's not like you care about me, why would you care if my whole world is crumbling around me?" I say it in a way filled with doubt and regret, one where the hurt shines through in my voice.

"Lily," he says softly, before grabbing my hand, "No matter what happened during the summer, I still care about you. I always will."

Ripping my hands from his, I scoff, "Well you sure have a funny way of showing it." My mind flashes back to the scene with Amanda and I feel the bile rising in my throat.

He catches on quick, replying steadily, "Are you... are you talking about that thing with Amanda?"

"Oh, so it's a thing now? Are you back together?" Jealousy seeps through my pores and into the room, hanging heavily in the air. It's awkward and embarrassing but I can't stop it.

"Lily, I want to be friends, please just listen, just for a moment-"

I cut him off, raising my hand into the air to stop him, and saying, "No, James, you are going to listen. You hurt me. You led me on, you made me fall in love with you, and then you dumped me. You broke every promise you ever made. James... I trusted you. You were my best friend... I met your family! And then you have the nerve to come back here, to try to be my friend and make me listen to you? No, James, I don't want this. I'm sick of looking at you everyday and having my heart break all over again. I can't... I can't be friends with you because I'll die every day inside. I saw you and Amanda, yes, and if you two get back together I don't know if I can take it. Please, just leave me alone. Don't talk to me, don't look at me... stop making me love you. Please, James, just go."

"But Lily-"

I slam my hand down on the arm rest and cry, "James, do you not know how hard this is for me? Please, I don't want an explanation, I just want to be alone."

Finally, with a sigh, he just stands up and walks to the door.

"Lily... you don't know the whole story." And with that, he leaves, more confusing then ever. I don't cry, no, I just curl up again, falling back asleep. Because I don't feel pain in my sleep, when I'm sleeping I can't remember James. And that's just the way I like it.

A/N: So next chapter James and Lily are gonna talk a bit more and resolve some of the issues that they are having! We'll try to get the chapter written as soon as possible, so hopefully up within the next few days. As always, reviews motivate us greatly so we'd LOVE it SO much if you'd do that! has actually been really slow on Firefox on my computer, but I recently got Chrome so hopefully i can start replying to all your reviews! REVIEWS MAKE LILY AND JAMES FORGIVE EACH OTHER AND MAKE LOVELY BABIES THAT DESTROY EVIL DARK WIZARDS!