A/N: This is the first chapter I'm switching up the POV. It should be a preview of what the format is going to be like for most of the chapters.
Disclaimer: Don't own the Outsiders. Don't own Somewhere I belong by Linkin Park.
I will never know myself until I do this on my own and I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed. I will never be anything till I break away from me. I will break away, I'll find myself today.
"I don't see why you don't like him." She picked up an apple and sucked her teeth into it. "I mean he seems real sweet. You like sweet."
He rolled his eyes. Sweet wasn't what he liked. "He's Dallas Winston's brother. You need to stay away from him. I don't trust 'im."
"Why?" she nearly yelled, cocking her head. "Danni is dating Dallas. You don't see her brother's going all ape shit."
He cringed at the last word. After all the years of him not watching his mouth, she finally caught on to a few things. His mom says it'll pass along with the clothing and attitude. He knew better. "They do too. And watch the language, will ya?"
She shrugged it off and tiptoed into the living room, the apple still hanging on her teeth. "He's cute."
"God, don't say that!"
"Stop bein' that way." She whipped back around and smiled. "I'm smart."
Yeah, he thought, smart enough to check out Ronnie Winston. "Just stay away from him, 'ight?"
Why was she all of a sudden into boys anyway? Last time he checked she was still playing with Barbie dolls with Kens missing their heads, and having tea with stuffed animals. He knew this day would come...he'd just have to nip it in the butt quicker than he thought.
"I mean it, Em," he stressed. "I know the Winstons'. They're not people you wanna wrap yourself into. Find someone better."
She gave him an annoyed look, one he hadn't seen on her before. "You don't know Ronnie!"
"You don't either!" he threw back. "And if him and Dal are related, I think I know what he's like."
"He's different!"
His eyes almost jumped out of socket. "You just met him the other day! You don't know anything about him and now you're talkin' like ya'll are going to run off in the night and get hitched!"
She grinned slyly.
"Don't you dare!"
She giggled at her brother's distress. "Calm yourself. I'm a big girl, Two. I can take care of myself and choose boys for myself just fine."
Sure she could.
It was right where she wanted it. It was the one she wanted. He spent every minute of the summer at the DX just to pay for it. He wouldn't have it any other way. He was going to pay for it. He was going to do this for her.
"Mom dropped by to check in," she informed him lightly. "She saw the holes in the bathroom. You know my dad could-"
"Evie I told you I don't want any help," he snapped. "I'll fix 'em."
He meant to do it last week but that was before the stove blew a fuse and someone had to work to pay for it. He would get to the bathroom this weekend. He'd just have to.
Evie sighed and circled another spot in the paper. "No one's hirin'. I couldn't get a job in this town if I walked around topless."
He wiped the oil on the outside of the part he was fiddling with. It, just like everything else, needed fixed. "Ain't nothin' I can do, babe. Just gonna have to suck it up, and put your big girl panties on."
"Would you stop bein' such an ass," she spat. "You've been this was all fuckin' week and I'm tired of it. I'm tryin' okay?"
He slammed the piece of medal down on the table making the glasses tremble. "Well I'm awful sorry that I'm a little tired from working my brains out for the past three months!"
"I didn't ask you to do that!"
"Sure you didn't." He sat back down at the table and started working on the part again.
She tossed the marker down on the table in front of his face. "I'm goin' out."
"To where?" he asked loudly. She didn't go out. They were married. Where and who was she going with?
She grabbed her jacket from the living room and wrapped her slender body up. "Alice wanted to check out the new bar that just opened up. Promised her I'd go."
He watched as she carefully buttoned each button precisely. If there was one thing Steve Randle couldn't stand about his new wife, it was how much of a perfectionist she was. The littlest thing could be out of place and next thing he knew the whole house would be flipped upside down and the kitchen would be the new bathroom.
"Well what am I supposed to do? Did you not make dinner either?"
"No."
"Evie!"
"I'm your wife not your maid, Steven Randle." She threw her hair back and quickly fetched her purse. "You want food, you fix it yourself. Brand new stove right there!"
He sneered. "Yeah the one I bought with my money!"
"You're such an ass." She opened the door, ready to run.
He leaped from his position ready to chase her. She wasn't leaving. He wasn't finished yet. "Where are you going?"
"Away from you!"
Too bad he just couldn't buy her that fucking house.
The house gets real quiet when Darry and Soda have to work late and Pony's at Track. It doesn't get quiet in this house that often and to anyone else, it'd be nice to just sit and soak it all in. That is, to anyone else.
"Danni." The door downstairs opened. "You home? I got food!" Kathy stood with a box in hand, smiling up the stairs. "Come on, I'm starving."
I skipped every other carpeted step, hopping down. "I thought you had the night shift again tonight?" I followed her to the kitchen table where she laid the box.
"Someone got the times wrong so they just sent me home." She licked the sauce off her finger. "What've you been doing all alone in here anyway? I expected to come home to a party or at least Dally with his feet propped up on the sofa."
"No Dally, no party." I picked the cheesy covered bread and crammed it down my throat. "Just little ol' me."
"Well..." She smacked her lips together. "That's good. Darry'd kill us both then."
She slipped her blonde hair out of the hair bow holding up. It fell until it hit the tip of her shoulder blade and flattened out. Darry got pretty upset when she cut it all off. It was a long night and Kathy ended up crying on our sofa for a while.
"When's Dar comin' home?"
She dried off a clean plate and put it in the cabinet. "I talked to him earlier. He said around nine or so."
That night, Darry hugged her so tight I though she was going to die from lack of oxygen. He held her head and shushed her for an hour. She told him she thought he'd like it. She did it for him because it was the same style Beverly Harris had and Darry was always staring at her.
"You going to stay the night?"
She laughed and shook her head. "No. You think that'd ever happen?"
It was the first night I'd seen that look on Darry's face. Everything was drained and he got so white. It was the first time any of us had seen Kathy cry, even him.
"When you two going to tie the knot anyway?" I asked.
She spun back around like a top. "We've only been dating for a few months. Don't be so stupid."
"C'mon." I giggled, picking the cheese off my slice and eating it. "We all know it's going to happen anyway."
He kept apologizing. She told him it was fine and she'd grow it back out, but he didn't stop. In all my life, I'm not sure I'd heard him say those words so many times. Then he slipped out the words I know I've never heard him say to any other girl but two.
"He loves you." I grinned. "I mean come on, Kat. You two are like perfect for each other and you know it."
She shook her head and tried to wipe away the smile she's had for months. "Yeah, yeah. Call me Cinderella and we can call him... Prince Charming. That the guy's name?"
"Kathy," I whined. "Come on, Soda wants to be an uncle and I want a little Darria running around here."
She scrunched her eyebrows. "Darria? Really?"
She stopped everything that night and just looked into his eyes. He didn't stutter, he didn't take anything back; he just looked into her eyes and repeated the words again. Three words he had saved for her and only her.
She turned back around to her dishes. "Well, how is Dally anyway?"
"Way to change the subject."
She threw the rag at me. I dodged. She laughed. "Hush. And no way in hell am I naming my kid Darria...Dallia."
"Funny."
It was also the first night I'd seen them kiss. Darry's weird about public affection and I think it was the first time any of us had seen him kiss someone, period. Kathy kept crying. She latched onto his neck and didn't let go. And she still hadn't.
"So, Dally," she pressed on. "Let's put you in the hot seat."
I picked some of the hot cheese off the next slice of pizza and licked the sauce off my hand. "What do you wanna know?"
"Well how is he?" she stated in an obvious tone. "He hasn't been around here lately."
I shrugged. "He's working more. He wants some kind of new engine or wheels or something for that stupid car."
He still had that stupid car. It was all anyone heard when he'd drive it somewhere. He even had a name for her. Her. Sheila. Every date I went on Sheila was there watching, and every date I went on, it was Sheila who got petted and cooed at the end.
"He's been hanging with the guys more again too," I said. "With Tim in jail, he seems calmer which is good."
Dally'd been out of the gang group since we'd gotten together. Soda still gets on pins most of the time when we're together and most of the guys are too, but I think Dally's happy he's good with them again. He seems so anyway.
"He ain't gotten into any more trouble has he?" she asked. "If so don't tell me. Darry will flip again if he finds out and it'll be me who will have to hear it and my ear can't take anymore Darry."
Dally stole Robby Hendricks's tires. Stole, not slashed. He said they were top of the line and if ol' Robby was dumb enough to leave them sitting at the end of the street at night, well he deserved to have them taken.
"No, he's been alright as far as I know. Like you said, he ain't been around too much."
She picked up the dish rag and started shinning the ladle. "What's up with this Ronnie kid? He's Dally's baby brother?"
"Says so."
"Don't you think that's weird?" She turned back around. "I mean, how long has it been since they've seen each other?"
"Dally won't speak a word of him," I told her. "I know, I think it's weird too, but I guess it's none of my business. Dally doesn't talk about his family or anything anyway so I don't know."
"But I mean, where'd this kid come from? He's just visiting some family in the middle of a school year? Don't you think that's odd?"
I smirked and tossed the left over crust into the trash. "Well if you can get Dal to answer all these question, I'll hand you a gold medal babe."
She shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest. "I just might. I like Dal."
"Oh so you're after my beau, Kathy Henson."
She held her nose high in the air. "Nice hair, good lookin' car. Think I could go for it."
I smiled. "Yeah, then Darry'd have a real good reason to kill 'im."
"Kill who?" The back door shut back once he entered the room. He set the beat-up red box on the table and walked over to her. One hand picking up a slice of pizza, the other wrapping around her waist. "Say."
"Don't worry 'bout it." She pulled his head down and kissed the tip of his head. "You need a shower."
"Hey, I don't smell that bad." He pulled her in close making her yelp. "Come on, smell me."
She grinned and let out a few squeaks. "Go bathe, now."
He let go, an expression of disappointment coating his face. "Well guess I'm going to have to take the hint then." He turned on his heel and made his way over to me. "You think I smell?"
He put his arm around my shoulder, his arm pit filling the once clean air. "Yes." I pushed him. "Worse than Sodapop."
"Now there's an insult."
"How was work?" Kathy asked.
He rubbed his head and let out a tiresome sigh. "Hell. I gotta get these freakin' bills done."
"I could-"
"No," he said firmly. "I got it, Kat."
There are moths running into the light on the porch. Most of the time they'd end up in here and Darry'd kill them and Soda'd through a fit, but tonight they're just running into that light, some sticking to the screen of the door.
Within a second, they all flew as quickly as possible, for the boy fixing to slam their rest spot into the wall. "God!"
"What's wrong with you?" Darry's head spun back around.
He looked worse. His track suit was barely hanging to his body and there was still sweat running down his forehead. His books were falling out of his bag and it looked like he'd just ran five blocks rather than Cherry driving him.
"Freakin' Cherry!" he grumbled. "She just...I don't know! She started cryin' the moment I got into the car and next thing I know she's tellin' me she can't take it anymore."
Kathy tilted her head. "What's wrong with her?"
"That's just it!" he yelled. "She wouldn't tell me! She just kept cryin' and talkin' about how hard things were and how hard they were going to get and I just don't even know!"
"Well it had to be something." Cherry just doesn't freak out. Cherry's collected, sophisticated.
He took in a breath and composed himself. "I think it's her parents but I don't know. She was talking about them fighting a lot a few weeks ago but she hasn't mentioned it lately."
I stared at the floor, biting my tongue.
"Pone, I'm sorry."
He sniffled and wiped his nose on his sleeve. "We'll break up soon anyway." He threw his bag on the floor. "Just might as well get it over with!"
Darry shook his head. "Pone."
He was already half-way up the stairs. It'd been this way for a month. Cherry just wasn't Cherry anymore. It didn't seem like she'd come back either.
Ponyboy had it tough. The talking hurt, but the tears stung...it did for all of us.
Darry sighed and rubbed his already dead face. "I guess I'll take this one."
"Cherry wasn't always like that was she?" Kathy asked.
"No, Cheery was real sweet. To be honest, I never thought they'd end up together, but it happened. She'd been real good to him. They were fine...good in fact."
She huffed and let the water out of the sink. "I should help him. He can just suck it up this time. I'm doing the freakin' bills."
Cherry just wasn't Cherry anymore...and she wasn't coming back.
That it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind. What do I have but negativity 'cause I can't justify the way everyone is looking at me. Nothing to gain, hollow and alone. And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own.