"Half Blood Harry Potter"
By Loki Palmer
Author's Note: Harry Potter and all related characters belong to J.K. Rowling, while Percy Jackson and all related demigods belong to Rick Riordan.
DZ2: [Rolls eyes] Of course I've read "Harry Potter and the Magical Storm" – at least, as much as you've written of it – and it's an excellent work. Those of you, my fans, who love my work, honestly, go ahead and check him out – he is hilarious! I don't know about the Fried Satyr part, though, my friend (LOL) … I may dislike Troll Brain and his stupidity, but I hold no such animosity towards Grover. Besides, as many Ron/Hermione fanfics there are (ugh … that ship is so anathema to me), how many Grover/Annabeth fanfics are there? Just a minute … don't answer that. Who knows, there probably are some, I don't doubt, but could you imagine what their kids would look like? No worse than any kids of a Ron/Ginny ship …
[Disgusted Weasley fans throw pies in my direction. Mmmmmmmmm … pies … (Homer Simpson drool). LOL.]
WhiteElfElder: Yes, that is true … Lady Athena would NOT be in the showgirl line of work … that would be Lady Aphrodite's milieu (allright … giggity, giggity, OH!)
To author mikanMD: Sure, I could have done that, but I didn't want to make things too easy for our heroes ...
Now for my twist in the canon of Percy Jackson … and I hope you like it …
Chapter 4
"Well, Percy, now that we have the second Pearl, where is the third one?" said Grover.
Percy opened the map and his eyebrows crossed in some confusion. "Tulsa, Oklahoma?"
"Great," said Grover rolling his eyes. "We're going to a place with more country music rednecks."
"Let's not forget it's the state of Carrie Underwood, singer of the song 'Before He Cheats.' " said Annabeth.
Hermione gave her a high-five. "That's an awesome song, Annabeth."
"Agreed, although I would admit, I would do worse to a cheating boyfriend than to knock his headlights out with a baseball bat."
Percy and Harry paled. "May the Gods protect us from your anger, ladies," they said.
"Don't be the ones to arouse our anger and you will be fine," said Annabeth.
"The main reason I've been upset with Harry – when I've been upset – is because I worry about whatever situation his bullheaded tenacity will land us next," said Hermione.
Annabeth smiled. "Now that you know who his Father is, the bullheaded tenacity makes sense. Or I should say it, 'Bolt headed tenacity'?"
Harry rolled his eyes as the others chortled at the pun. "I guess that nickname is sticking to me, eh?"
"You bet your bolt headed ego, it is. If you didn't have that scar, I would find it difficult to tell you and Percy apart."
Harry and Percy looked at each other, and then cracked up laughing. "Okay, I'll admit, we both have black hair and green eyes –" said Harry.
"– But we're still different!" said Percy. "I'm from New York –"
"– I'm from England – come on, Annabeth! Even our accents should help you identify one of us! What could be more different than Prime Minister Tony Blair saying, 'This heinous incident has brought our civilization to the edge of oblivion, but we shall endure – ' "
"– Poor Dubya, meanwhile, is thinking, 'Shoot, I can't even spell that!'(*) Hold on … did I just compare myself to President Dubya?"
"If I compared myself to Tony Blair and Percy compared himself to President Dubya –"
"I reckon that don't sound right at all," said Grover with a country twang.
Harry fought not to crack up. "Thanks a lot, Country Goat. Here, have an empty soda can before you get all ma-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-d at me."
The group laughed. Grover bleated at him as he accepted the can and ate it.
"Percy … going back to what I was saying … if we were comparing each other to past leaders of our respective countries ... I'm not your lapdog, right?"
Percy was recovering from his previous bout of laughter, but this question set him off anew. "Of course not, Harry! Let's face it, those were … awkward examples to show the contrast between the two of us. What about favorite foods? My mom's blue chocolate-chip cookies are out of this world!"
"Blue chocolate chip cookies? That sounds odd ..."
"It must be because he's a son of Poseidon," said Hermione.
Harry nodded. "That makes some odd sense. My favorite foods are treacle tart and pumpkin pie."
"To celebrate my recovery from the Basilisk Petrifying me, I gave Harry the biggest slice of pumpkin pie I could find," said Hermione.
"Let's not forget the most … EPIC … HUG … EVER! I wasn't even sure you heard what I said to you in that time period, Hermione."
"I was unable to respond, but that didn't mean I was deaf as well. I heard everything you said."
"What did you say, Harry?" said Annabeth.
~FLASHBACK~
"Hermione … I don't know if you can hear me or not, but … I miss you. You gave me my first hug back in our first year, and …I don't know how you will respond to what I'm saying, but without you around, it's like I'm missing a piece of myself, and missing you hurts me so much … is this love, Hermione? I want you safe, sound, and alive; is that too much to ask? Your Enemies should be afraid, for they are mine as well. Believe me, I WILL BLAST ANYONE WHO THREATENS YOU TO THE DEPTHS OF THE UNDERWORLD, AND MAY THEY STAY THERE!"
A thunderclap rent the air, making Harry jump. He wondered, "What is this new style of language that I'm speaking? It sounds awesome ..."
He smiled, chuckled to himself, and let out a thunderous yell as lightning flashed outside the window.
Madam Pomfrey ran out of her office. "Mr. Potter, would you care to explain the noise?"
Harry spun around, his green eyes aglow and flashing electricity. [Tune: "Epiphany" from "Sweeney Todd"]
"I'LL KILL HIM!
Voldemort is here within this school …
YES, I'LL KILL HIM!
Voldemort is here, and he wants to kill again!"
Madam Pomfrey sang:
"Harry, please, why so mad?
Let us have more time …"
Harry sang:
"WHAT?"
Madam Pomfrey sang:
"Yes, you're sad …"
Harry sang:
"Why should I wait?
You think I will wait?
Well, he's here to kill again!
There's a darkness that pulls me into a pit,
Filled with vengeance and vipers; I'll need my wit
To survive this great fight, then make my hit:
This stupid fool!
Tom Riddle, he must die!
Tell you why, Madam Pomfrey, tell you why:
Because in the whole of this magical school, Madam Pomfrey,
There are two kinds of people, naught but two!
There's the victim who suffers a bully's hate,
And the bully has him suffering on a plate!
Tell me now, Madam Pomfrey, is it true?
Yes, Tom Riddle, he must die!
He'll kill me, Madam Pomfrey, by and by!
Because his life's shortened candle shall go out quick,
And I guess I'm the one chosen to do this!
Tom Riddle, he will die!
Will I ever see Hermione?
Will I ever hug my love to me?
LET'S GO!
ALLRIGHT!
Lucius, how about a taste?
Come and – see now – your nightmare Harry!
Draco! Ferret! Come and feel my hate!
I call vendetta … you will bow before me!
Riddle? Crabbe, Goyle?
Why are y'all so scared? Come here, come here!
Harry's waiting;
I want you bleeding!
Slytherins? COME ON NOW!
People, why y'all so scared?
This one man, Thomas Riddle,
Is the one who wants to kill me!
First, I'll kill him!
And I will make him scream even as he dies,
In the meanwhile, I will kill his team unwise!
My Hermione's like a statue,
Will I ever hug my love again?
But the war waits!
I'm awake at last –
And I'm full of RAGE!"
More lightning flashed, and more thunder roared, shaking the castle …
~END FLASHBACK~
Annabeth's eyes widened as she listened to Harry's tale from his second year. "Did you know about your demigod status back then?"
Harry shook his head. "No, I didn't, but do I look like someone to question whence my power comes? I thought that as interesting as it would be to find its source, the answer will come one day, if it is important that I know it."
"Wasn't Hermione curious?"
"Yes, I was," she said, "but Elemental Magic is a rare branch of Magic now, so I didn't bother with it for now. Where are we going in Tulsa?"
Percy looked at the map. "It looks like we're going to the Prayer Tower at Oral Roberts University."
Annabeth looked at the map. "It looks like we'll need directions once we arrive in Tulsa. I've never been there."
"Nor have I," said Grover, "but how tough could it be out there?"
Everyone shrugged their shoulders as Grover stepped on the gas.
"Percy," said Harry, "keep an eye on Grover. We don't want to cause another accident on the highway."
Percy gave him a thumbs up and a smile.
Author's Note: Another fun chapter done. What awaits our heroes out in Tulsa, you may wonder? We'll find that out in the next chapter – when I type it all up, that is.
Smiles and laughter,
Loki Palmer
(*) The exchange about (then) Prime Minister Tony Blair spouting off big words about 9/11 and (then) President George "Dubya" Bush despairing about how he can't even spell them is taken from the comedy monologue "Live on Broadway" with the late Robin Williams (1951 – 2014). I imagine it was a sad day for all of us when we heard the news about his death. :'(