A/N: This is its own chapter because if I put what else I intended to be here with it, we'd have like a 15k chapter and I really wanted to preserve the feel of this chapter. I know I'm a couple weeks late, but I'm going to bury myself in this story so I can get a couple chapters ahead. I want to get to updating every couple weeks.

Anyway, I'm endlessly glad for anyone on this ride. This exploration of a Mord'Sith and a Confessor falling in love, and what comes with it. I'm really ambitious about where I'm going with this, but at the core of it, that's all this story is.

The darkness of the room told her it was far from dawn. Kahlan sat up, running a hand through her hair. The day before, they'd stopped at this village to resupply and rest. And soak in what happened with Richard. Kahlan hadn't been able to sleep that night, and she doubted she would now. Talking with Zedd hadn't eased her, and not sleeping had given her plenty of time to sort out that what bothered her was and wasn't her emotions regarding Richard. For all she thought about it, she could only conclude she thought too much.

Far too much.

Kahlan went to the window and drew back the curtain, taking in the empty street below.

Have you asked your heart lately?

She spun, searching the corners of the room, and, slowly, her shoulders slumped. A sigh escaped her. Kahlan rubbed her face, mentally chastising herself. She'd heard Dennee's words so clearly that she had hoped.

But Dennee wasn't here. Dennee was on Valeria.

Still, her quiet wisdom gave Kahlan pause. Dennee had said people think with the mind, with thought and logic and barriers set by a person's outlook. And in the mind, one could lie to themselves. Then there was thinking with the heart. Something of instinct and action, something without barriers. It was easier, and most true to a person's character.

Kahlan had seen it as the compassion to a Confessor's sense of justice, but only now did it mean more.

She sank against the wall, forgetting logic and contemplating past actions. Absently, a finger touched her lips. Richard's kiss had meant nothing to her, and his words even less. Magic tore at him in more ways than one, but she didn't care.

The pure, honest hate in his eyes when he intended to cut her in two, that was true, and within his heart. A part of Kahlan had hesitated, even as rage screamed within her, as her power slammed against its cage. She hesitated, believing in Richard, and doubting herself for her willingness to kill him.

Then there was Cara.

Cara, who did not hesitate. Cara, prepared to kill the man whose blood allowed Mord'Sith to use agiels. Cara, who risked death for the Mother Confessor.

"For me," she whispered to the empty room, as if saying it aloud would make it less surreal.

You don't deserve it.

Cara's words to Richard finally hit Kahlan. She stood, changing into her clothes with such haste she almost tripped.

None of it was a part of their agreement, and it wasn't about Confessor and Mord'Sith, not anymore. Cara maintained it was, but not out of animosity or disrespect. Actually, it was clear the woman had quite a positive opinion of Kahlan, now that she thought about it.

She hopped around, pulling on her boot with a curse. The Mord'Sith had been distancing herself for a while and Kahlan had just stupidly watched. She couldn't recall saying anything offensive, not even by Mord'Sith standards.

"Oh, and you know all about those, don't you, Kahlan Amnell," she muttered.

Breezing out the room, she stopped suddenly. Kahlan had no idea which room was Cara's. She took the stairs two at a time and startled the man dozing off at the counter.

"Which room is the Mord'Sith in?"

He scratched at his stubble. "Uh, she didn't get a room."

Kahlan blinked and covered her face with a groan.

"Sorry, Mother Confessor."

"It's okay," she said from behind her hands, "You aren't the most infuriating thing on two legs."

Awkward, he cleared his throat.

She looked up at the ceiling. "Have you at least seen her?"

"Phil said he saw her when he went fishin' at the creek this afternoon. West of here."

Within minutes, Kahlan could hear water as she navigated through the trees in the dark. She slowed, rubbing her hands on her dress to free them of sweat. Her heart propelled her here, but now her mind spoke again.

She stopped, taking in a large breath.

Kahlan rubbed her hands again, recognizing the involuntary sweating as nervous excitement.

Her mind asked why, but her heart led her closer to the almost ethereal sound of water in the night.

Reaching the creek, she paused, mesmerized by the moonlight sparkling on the water like fine jewels. The subdued rustle of leaves in the gentle wind combined beautifully with the soft tones of the water rushing by.

"For all my efforts…"

At the sound of her voice, Kahlan turned. The sight of Cara took her aback.

Here, in this almost otherworldly moment, the woman sat by the river bank, arms resting on her knees. Her red leather was dark in the night, somber, and somehow without the usual promise of blood. The moonlight lent a pale, soft look to her hair, and Kahlan noticed it had grown beautifully since her braid was cut. The few inches created a somewhat quieter appearance as a gentle breeze teased her hair, just past her shoulders.

Kahlan swallowed thickly, unable to shake the feeling she only now saw Cara for the first time. She walked to Cara's side, watching the water casually pass them.

"For all my efforts," she gave a soft, humorless chuckle, "For all my efforts, still I find myself among my personal agonies."

"And I begin to fancy this is a war without end." Kahlan knew it by heart, though she hadn't thought of it in what could've been years. It was one of her favorites. She looked down and gasped softly as eyes pierced her, already waiting for her. It felt like minutes before she spoke again. Her tone was hushed. "Your eyes hold the moon and stars."

A lazy smirk pulled at Cara's lips. "It seems I'm in yours."

"Does it?"

"What do you see?"

The question surprised Kahlan, and she felt it thicken the air between them, but it only enthralled her more. She quirked her eyebrow slightly. "This one."

Cara's eyes traveled across her body before settling on blue again. "I see opposites." She gestured to Kahlan, then herself. "Light and dark."

"Light shapes dark."

"I don't think so."

"Do shadows not react to light?"

"The closer you get to the light, the greater the shadow becomes."

Kahlan tilted her head slightly. "You present the argument that they shape each other."

"You're putting words in my mouth."

Kahlan partially smiled. "You're not very good with them, so I have to guess."

"They twist too easily. I prefer to show, rather than speak. A fist is clear."

"Motivation can be twisted just as easily. Standing between me and Richard, for example."

Cara at last shifted her gaze and patted the ground, waiting for Kahlan to sit beside her. "Berdine wields words like an agiel. You'd like her, maybe. Vincitus is her favorite general to quote."

"He was also a poet." She smiled when Cara glanced at her. "Do you know the rest of the poem?"

"You're bluffing."

"Answer for answer?"

Cara grunted, obviously unhappy.

"You said," Kahlan paused, her smile fading and suddenly she found herself wondering if she really wanted to continue with this path.

"I said?"

Kahlan closed her eyes, remembering her sister's words. "You said Richard didn't deserve to be at my side."

For a long time, only the rushing water filled the air.

Kahlan sighed, opening her eyes. "I—"

"I say what I mean. There's too little time to hesitate."

"Of course." When Cara didn't say anything, Kahlan ran a hand through her hair. "I've offended you. I don't know how or when. I don't know how to apologize in a way that matters to you."

Cara tilted her head, listening.

"Whatever it is, I hope you forgive it. I, well, as unlikely as it is, as strange as it is, I have to admit something. And you mustn't punch me for it."

Cara waited.

She stood, dusting herself off. "I've come to realize I count you as a friend. I hope you consider that."

"You out to reform me, Confessor?"

"You?" Kahlan laughed. "You're impossible."

She pretended to look Kahlan up and down. "I am quite the sinner."

Blue eyes rolled despite the slight heat in her face. "Good night, Cara."

"Confessor."

Kahlan stopped mid-step. Never had the title sounded so soft, so affectionate before, not even from the tongues of fellow Confessors. Well, it was almost affectionate, and perhaps that made it more so, considering who had spoken.

"I don't see how my statement needs explaining."

Kahlan's eyes wandered without purpose, and her voice came out softer than she intended. "So who does deserve to stand at my side?"

They both knew the question wasn't for Cara.

Kahlan rubbed her temple.

"Have you considered 'Sky?'"

She turned, blinking.

"He's been nothing his whole life. Just dirt on the ground. You can make him more. Call him Sky and it'll mean everything to him."

Kahlan mulled it over for a moment, shocked both by Cara's suggestion and the thought behind it. "A fantastic idea, I think… Cara?"

"Yes?"

"Might I be utterly absurd, annoying and probably stupid to you and you take me seriously?"

After a pause, Cara huffed. "This is your only chance to do it in this life."

Kahlan came to sit at the river bank again. She nearly bit her tongue to keep from asking, but the question slipped out anyway. "Do you want to be at my side?"

Cara stared at the river before them.

Kahlan's heart beat wildly and she tried to swallow down the feeling. "Do you, could you enjoy it? And don't just say you're Mord'Sith because if that was it, we would've killed each other two months ago."

Green eyes studied the water. "It has been two months, hasn't it?"

"Yes."

And Kahlan waited.

"You speak as though being Mord'Sith is independent of who I am. Being a Confessor plays a role in who you are, does it not?"

Briefly, she gazed at her hands. "It does."

"Then I'm not sure what you ask me. And maybe it will prove easier for you in the end if I do not attempt to answer."

Something like disappointment welled in Kahlan's stomach.

"To hesitate," Cara said, a hard edge deepening her voice, "is the greatest mistake. And yet here I sit, hesitating."

"It's human," she countered gently.

"If I hesitated, you'd be dead right now, cut in half by Richard Rahl." Cara looked away from her, up the river.

"So why didn't you hesitate?"

"Because it's a mistake."

"What makes it a mistake?"

"Damn, you're persistent."

"Why?" Kahlan knew she should let it go, but she just couldn't.

Cara's fingers tightened into a fist. "Isn't it enough that I didn't hesitate?"

"No, not for me."

"Why? What are you hoping to hear? Are you trying to say something? You're being ridiculous."

Green eyes blazed, and Kahlan stared, fascinated. She'd pushed the Mord'Sith beyond too far, but she didn't care at all. She could only take in the way something glittered in those eyes, something she couldn't place, and it called to her. "Why is your anger beautiful?"

Cara recoiled, open shock playing across her features.

A gloved hand hit Kahlan's face.

Kahlan watched the woman storm away. When she was gone, Kahlan stared into the river and brought her fingers to her stinging cheek.

After some thinking, perhaps too much of it, she was certain she didn't regret anything. Nor had the almost otherworldly feel of the night diminished. Traces of a smile ghosted onto her face and she laid back, absently wondering when she last felt so relaxed.

Kahlan had nearly fallen asleep when she heard what she considered to be Cara's subdued version of stomping. It was probably too foolish to actually stomp as a Mord'Sith, and she almost laughed at the thought. "Can you counter my offense tomorrow?"

Footsteps stopped a few feet from her head.

The woman's tense air made Kahlan open her eyes. Twisting slightly, she frowned up at Cara. From her perspective, Cara was framed by endless stars, a sharp contrast to her irritated expression. "What is it?"

"Which is it, you mean? One thing is that you shouldn't lounge out here alone."

Black disgust blossomed in her chest, ugly and thick. Kahlan looked back at the sky. "Why, so you can assure him that you took proper care of me?" Creator, she hadn't even used his name.

"Don't be foolish. You don't need coddling."

"So what does it matter to you?" Kahlan screwed her eyes shut and bit her tongue, disliking the bite in her words but not caring at the same time. She had to control herself, but the very concept irked her further. A soft creak of leather told her that Cara had lain beside her.

"If I didn't know that you've been near your limits, I would say you're acting like a child. I would also say you ask too much of me, but I can't tell if that's your nature or your escape."

Sighing, Kahlan opened her eyes again, a sea of stars sparkling above her.

"I considered that you've actually been operating past your limits, but I did not want to pay you such a compliment." She said the last word slowly, as if speaking it for the first time. "Now, I know it's true, but it is no compliment."

Kahlan turned her head, watching Cara contemplate the sky. "Why not?"

"When someone resists breaking long enough, they compromise. Bits and pieces given up or reshaped so they never fit again. I did not originally compare you to being trained, but it is the same."

She wanted to call the Mord'Sith a liar, but her tongue felt too heavy, and her chest too tight. The reality of how she was inside hit her like a kick to the face, and the beginning of hot tears formed in her eyes.

"Breaking without guidance is as dangerous." A dry laugh came from Cara. "I'm unused to your harassment, your escape, but I will take it all the same. I am Mord'Sith, after all."

"I'm not sure what you're saying." A couple of tears spilled over, but she remained focused on the woman beside her.

"I don't care to serve anyone, to be bound to anyone. Before Trianna, I was exploring the idea of freedom. I didn't know what I was going to do, but it was going to be my will and I knew I'd die before I let that change." Cara's shoulders moved in a slow shrug.

It was still odd for the Mord'Sith to speak so much at once, especially with such open words, but Kahlan had no idea what she was trying to say. The woman had a skill for burying meaning behind seemingly casual or out of place words. She feared asking for clarity would make Cara stop altogether. As the silence wore on, dismay began to settle into Kahlan's stomach and she at last cast her eyes to the stars again.

Then her breath caught in realization and she only just stopped herself from abruptly looking at the blonde. She swallowed heavily as her heart drummed in her chest. Lips moving, she only made a strangled noise.

"Are all Confessors as dense as you?"

Kahlan thought that perhaps she was the densest of them all. The Mord'Sith had sought freedom with such intensity that she became the driving force behind her master's death. In the process of beginning to taste freedom, of beginning to be whatever or whoever she could be, she chose to walk with the Mother Confessor, with Kahlan. She could leave at any moment. She could end the near constant "harassment" she suffered and take anything she wanted, do whatever she pleased. She was free.

She was staring up at the sky with Kahlan.

Kahlan couldn't think of a better demonstration of her true character. It entered her mind that this was also a display friendship, or that the Mord'Sith nearly felt something close to it. With a cough to clear her throat, she hoped the woman would understand her meaning. "I don't know what you were saying earlier."

Cara exhaled slowly, as though relieved. "I'm saying that it's disgusting, the way you're being."

A slow smile curved Kahlan's lips. "I have a confession."

"Oh?"

Her heart thudded and she shivered, some excitement rippling through her. "You don't have to say anything, and I actually prefer that you don't, but you make me feel… right. Around anyone else, I'd feel horror over it. I would hide it, try to lock it away inside of me and feel broken. Wrong." The words rolled off her tongue, and, strangely, she didn't worry that it would upset the Mord'Sith. Though, she got the feeling she couldn't stop if she wanted to. "When I slapped you and you threw me into the river, I felt so alive. Only around you can I give into it and be such a way. At first I was scared. I was scared it tainted my power, and I thought I was wrong. A broken Confessor. I remember flashes of it when I was younger and being scared someone would notice. Now I realize this rage, this insanity, it's intertwined with my power. Together they're complete."

Cara finally looked at her.

Blue met green. "You're guarded now." Kahlan's brow furrowed lightly. "Or you've been guarded this whole time and that's why you wouldn't look at me."

Cara's gaze traveled to the grass past Kahlan's head.

"You make me feel so idiotic. Now, thinking about it, you've been quietly guarded for a while. I can't remember the last time you truly looked at me."

"Unfortunately, I have to look at you a lot."

Kahlan's fingertips grazed her wrist. "Cara."

"You speak far too much," she said roughly, eyes still averted.

"Before, you asked if I controlled my power or if it controlled me. If I really thought I was separate from it."

Green flicked to blue and away again.

"You help me to understand it, to navigate it. It doesn't feel like drowning anymore."

Cara's voice came out as a faint whisper. "Why must you harass me so?"

Tentatively, Kahlan wrapped her fingers around Cara's wrist.

Cara stiffened, but didn't move otherwise.

Kahlan, feeling encouraged, gave her wrist a gentle squeeze. "What have I done to offend you?"

The blonde shut her eyes. "The offense is mine."

Her head spun a little from her situation. Though, it felt so natural. Her mind screamed, but she couldn't hear it over her heart. Kahlan squeezed again. "Please."

Cara pulled her arm away, sitting up. "I also came back to tell you I had to go."

"Go?" Embarrassment tinted Kahlan's cheeks because of the obvious note of panic in her voice.

"I," Cara shook her head, "I have to meet someone. Now. I'm leaving in the morning."

Kahlan sat up, and the way Cara shifted away from her did nothing to ease the feeling of her heart in her throat. She asked a question she wasn't sure she wanted the answer to. "For how long?"

The river's gentle melody filled the air.

Kahlan focused on evening out her breathing, controlling her sense of panic and trying to place the exact reason for it.

"I don't know."

"I'll come with you."

Cara shook her head a little. "You forget yourself."

"I'm not hesitating."

"Words twist too easily," Cara muttered.

"It goes both ways." Kahlan took a deep breath. "Until the end."

Cara glanced at her.

"Wherever it leads," Kahlan promised.

Cara studied the water once more. "And if I'm off to torture and kill?"

Kahlan hesitated.

"I am Mord'Sith." Cara flexed her fingers. "Do you believe you can consider a Mord'Sith a friend, Confessor? I am made of nightmares."

Softly, Kahlan asked, "Am I truly any different?"

"Confessor—"

"Zedd and Dirt, er, Sky can go find the next Seeker. Meanwhile, your business."

"Is it mine if you stick your nose in it?" Cara sighed, clearly exasperated.

"Who would I be if I didn't harass you?"

"Someone possibly pleasant," Cara answered.

"Not that you can tell me what to do, but are you saying I can't go with you?"

For a few minutes, they sat there, the question hanging in the air between them. As Kahlan yawned, Cara spoke, "You're far from a nightmare, Confessor. At least, for others."

"I might believe you when you finally look at me again."

A/N: About fucking time, Kahlan. Stop thinking so much and keep being casually seduced by Cara on accident. Just let it happen.

So, next chapter, we finally see what's been up Cara's ass the past couple chapters. (Congrats to anyone who's figured it out already.) Also, I realize I like Dirt/Sky so much better than I will ever like Leo. If only lightning would just strike him. Oh wait, that's canon. (Sorry, Leo.)

See you guys in a couple weeks, even if it kills me.