Chapter 13

I change my tank top and que up my music after I put the wireless headphones. I feel tears threaten my eyes and close them to enter my void. As soon as I am there I take a few big drinks of the bottle.

Four hours later the bottle is gone. I have run the obstacle course several times just without the weapons for that part and started the setup of the first one before my body had said it was ready. I grabbed my bag and went to the top of the tower and fell asleep right there. Tears stung my cheeks, the silent kind you wouldn't believe could be cried because it feels like a dam had been unleashed.

I wake to so many messages it is impossible to go through them. When I sat up finally I dropped down from the tower and headed to the dorm.

I cried through the void and I wonder when in this entire day I had already grown to allow Eric in so much that he was able to hurt me. The truth is he had always found a way to me there. I just didn't realize how much he was already there.

I decided then I wouldn't make that same mistake. Men and I don't have a great track record not when it comes to someone I might be romantic with.

I make my way over to the dorms and clean up then change into workout clothes. I drop my bag into my locker and lock it before I head to the dining hall. It is around seven in the morning and I grab some fruit and a muffin. I feel eyes on me and see Eric, Max, Andrea and Leo are there. Eric lets his gaze scan over me. I turn away after I grab my food and a water and walk back out.

I make it to the tower again and eat my breakfast as I read through my messages. I lie through my teeth and tell all of my friends that I got drunk and passed out in the obstacle course room.

"Raven?" I hear Tris call me.

I stand up and see Tris entering the room ahead of everyone. But not by much so I drop from the top of the tower. I had already put the smaller course's pieces that needed to be set up in an area I think it will fit.

She frowns looking over me. "Why didn't you respond to anyone? We looked everywhere for you." I see Eric quirk an eyebrow listening but I don't particularly care.

I shrugged emotionlessly. "I got drunk. I made my way here and started to try to get everything set up."

She frowns "I won't push it Raven, but I think we both know that isn't the truth. You don't get drunk easily."

I shrug. I am not willing to hear it from Four. I don't want to get into what I might be feeling and it isn't Eric's fault anyways. "It is the truth that Four needs to hear and the only thing I am willing to say." She sighs and nods.

All the leaders, instructors and some senior staff look over the latest course while I follow behind but don't talk much. I let one of the others answer.

"You ok?" Four asks me frowning.

I nod and fake a smile. "Just preparing to run the course. If you want we can finish up the set up for the first one."

He looks over me closely then sighs. "Yeah, you have the layout in general. Shouldn't take much now. Zeke come give us a hand."

By the time the three of us have it done the others are ready for me to run the course. I never drop my detached state and run it through twice. The first one is a fast one, the second I do a bit slower so they can get a grasp on each part. Neither time do I enjoy it. I am just willing to get it over with and out of Eric's presence.

I watch as Tris shows them her run through the first course as I sit off to the side and watch. When everyone breaks away Max and the others are smiling.

"I really like what I am seeing here. I want the first course started as soon as we return from off days. We will run half of classes for the next stage and half on the course. We should leave the longest course up for just a little while longer." Max says approvingly.

Max and the others move to go discuss some things. I look around but decide that I am done in here for the day. I turn to make my way out, throwing a fake smile and wave to Tris and Four.

"Raven do you have a moment?" I see Eric standing outside of the newly coined obstacle course room.

I nod "Of course Sir. How may I help you?"

He frowns but then sighs. "It really is best this way."

"I understand." I nod.

He stands there looking at me for a moment but doesn't say anything else.

"Excuse me Sir I will just be on my way. I am sure you have more important business. Thank you by the way."

He tilted his head "For what?"

I meet his eyes and stay quiet for a minute. "A lesson learned." I nod one more time and then step around him and walk away.

Two days later

"I can't believe visiting day is already here. Which means it is the end of the off days" Astrid groans.

I smile "We just woke up Astrid, savor the day."

She stretches in her bed still under the covers. "Plan to. What are you doing up?"

I shrug "I thought I would grab some breakfast and then browse the Pit. I want to look at some items for the baby."

She grins "You are going to spoil him and he isn't born yet."

I laugh with a shrug. "I am an aunt so I can do that." I kiss her cheek. "You should sleep more we won't be able to sleep in for a few weeks."

She nods and rolls over to my laughter and passes out.

As soon as I am out of the door I go back into my void. I am rarely outside of it now since my last interaction with Eric. He hasn't tried to approach me again and I haven't sought him out.

I make my way to the dining hall and stick to yogurt, fruit and a muffin with milk. None of my friends are up yet since we were all up late. I pick a seat and take out my phone to eat and read. Someone sits beside me but isn't close and I don't look up.

"What are you reading?" I turn to look at Eric who isn't looking at me but is sipping on some coffee and looking at his own tablet.

"The Hobbit." I eat some fruit and turn back to my book.

"Good book."

"I like it."

"Do you ever come out of the detachment?" He asks annoyed and looking at me.

"Yes when I am around those I am close with."

"Do they know about your aunt?" He snaps.

"Yes, I don't keep secrets from them if I can at all help it."

"They are ok with her and who she is?" He again had open disdain in his voice and a sneer on his lips.

"They are ok with who I am." I stare at my food and determine it has all lost any appeal for me. "Enjoy your morning sir." I say as I pick up my tray and leave the table. I toss everything in the garbage and walk out.

If he isn't ok with my Aunt or who I am why does he keep fucking bothering me? He says it is best that way but still tries to…

I head to the clothes store and browse for something to wear to see my aunt today. I find a deep purple strapless dress that is tight at the top with the front stopping at the knees but going longer down the bottom. I buy that and some silver low heel sandals. I end up finding a few children's books for Shauna and the baby. I walk around browsing the different stores until it is time for me to go get ready for the families to arrive. I decide to try a different hairstyle. I do a side swept updo and wear simple silver dangling earrings. Light makeup and a shorter style leather jacket I have completes the outfit.

"You look amazing Ray." Scott says smiling at me as I enter the pit.

I smile "Thank you."

He shrugs "Just speaking the truth. Are you nervous for today?"

I sigh. I have been faking emotions so that my family won't worry. "I am yes,.Tris' advice about my Aunt makes sense. I still look forward to seeing her again."

He nods and smiles sadly at me. Before we know it others are arriving to wait.

"Raven?" I hear the soft voice of my Aunt.

I turn to see her just walking into the Pit area. She breaks out in a smile and breaks from her restraint of emotions and swiftly walks up to me and pulls me in a hug. "Oh my beautiful girl."

I lose the death grip I had on my detachment and close my eyes. "I have missed you Aunty Genie."