AN: Now you have my apologies for the lateness, having a life, and all that. Reviews appreciated -makes it all worth it- etc etc. Oh, and (very late) happy holidays and whatnot. Hope you enjoy.
*Oh hey, completely forgot to add that I changed the order of the solar system to fit better with what I wanted to achieve in the story. Probably doesn't matter so much if you're reading casually but if there are any detail oriented people out there... just know I'm working with a very alternate universe. Simple version - swap Jupiter with Mars and Uranus with Neptune. There were other changes but nothing relevant to the story at the moment.
14.) The Bonehunters
To see clearly is poetry, prophecy, and religion all in one.
- John Ruskin
BERYL
Nerves of steel were something I could only dream of. It wasn't that I was scared... I just hated waiting. The suspense was killing me. Then again, I suppose it was more patience I needed, not nerves of steel. Though the time for nerves of steel was steadily approaching, a steady hand and deep seated conviction were all but required. I sighed.
"So what's wrong with you lately?" Came the soft voice of the newly crowned king. His eyes were searching mine with an almost innocent level of concern. I gave him a smile, feeling an odd tugging sensation on my heart. There was something about him – a purity that made me vow never to involve him in my affairs.
"Nothing you need to worry about Endymion." I told him, doing my best to be reassuring.
"You've been my most trusted adviser and friend for years. It's as much my duty to worry about you as it is your job to worry about me." He told me with a smile. When I didn't reply he frowned and continued. "Beryl, I know the last few years have been hard work for you. The transition between governments has burdened you with more and more responsibility... and the following you've acquired is nothing short of demanding."
A gentle expression graced his features as teasing tone entered his voice, however the serious expression returned quickly.
"You can talk to me you know."
"Not about this." I told him.
"Is this another one of your attempts to protect me?" He asked in mild annoyance. "What are you? My mother?"
I felt myself smile.
"An obnoxious older sister perhaps." I replied. He rolled his eyes.
"Well, if you insist on keeping me in the dark about this, I'll just have to change the topic..." He let his voice trail off, a playful tone was beginning to enter his voice.
"What topic would you be changing too?" I asked warily, despite his purity of heart... he could be rather merciless with his teasing.
"You've been rather distracted of late. Just wondering if the reason is that dark haired beauty back on the Moon." He prompted, a smile on his face. A flush rose in my cheeks as I turned my gaze upon him. There was a glint in his eyes that made me shake my head. He was trying to get a rise out of me.
"Don't get started on me... or I might retaliate in kind." I warned. He grinned but dropped the matter. An almost wistful look had entered his eyes and with that, he was lost in thought.
I smiled, choosing not to redirect his focus. He was a good man with clearly defined moral standards and a rare purity of heart. It was the trait that had caused him to clash with the rest of us so frequently. He believed in a universe without darkness, without hate or pain. He believed in the basic good intentions of everyone he met.
I shook my head, he was innocent in a way the rest of us never would be. Some would call it naive but... I wanted to believe he was the correct one and the rest of us were all horribly mistaken.
I idly picked up a book from the table beside me, only pretending to read it. If he thought I was preoccupied he wouldn't feel inclined to strike up a conversation whenever he emerged from his daydreams.
And that could possibly give me time to properly plan out my next move. I would have to see about getting in contact with the others. Their current task should nearly be complete.
ENDYMION
It was obvious she didn't want to talk to me. It was also obvious that there was something bothering her, there had been a dark cloud hanging over her for the last couple of days. She had taken to pacing the observatory at odd hours, her sleeping patterns were off-kilter, and there was a shadow in her gaze. Something was driving her, I just wasn't sure what. Or for what reasons.
She had been changing over the last few years, she had always had strong convictions but now she was uncompromising. She was a strong leader, much stronger than I could ever be. She was capable and much, much more than that. She inspired trust and knew how to reach out and touch the hearts and minds of her followers. The only thing even slightly questionable about her was her secretiveness.
I stared out the window, watching her out of the corner of my eye. She was paging through a book and she was going slightly too slow for her to actually be reading it. I could almost see the plotting that was going on in her mind, the streak of cunning and ruthlessness in her was growing. I couldn't complain about that. Her political savvy was what had reunited this world and I was lucky she was on my side. I was lucky I was on hers, standing against her wasn't a good idea. But her secretiveness was bothering me. I was beginning to question it.
I may have been the king but she was in charge, she had captivated the people in a way the monarchy had failed to do in a long time. They would fight for her, die for her, in a way that they hadn't for us since the middle era. She was their saviour, their hope in the future.
And I think that had changed her.
SETSUNA
War and destruction. They were becoming the all encompassing features of this era. I had watched Mars at war for the better part of my existence, but that was stable – contained. Not that that made it any less horrific, but it was still better than what was going on now. The battle on Uranus was appalling, the worlds were going to war.
I opened my eyes, looking at Queen Serenity.
"Is there any change?" She asked. I closed my eyes again, seeing the darkness consume the worlds. It blocked out everything, stretching to the edges of the galaxy... Then there was the faintest hint of light, like a star exploding. And then everything disappeared and the darkness returned.
I looked back at the Queen, there was a slight shimmer around her eyes. I shook my head.
"No, no change." I whispered, unable to meet her eyes. It was to be the fall of an empire and the rise of something new.
HARUKA
I paced my way back and forth across the room. Every few seconds my eyes flicked towards the docking bay. It had been four days. Four goddamned days since we'd had word from my planet – from my family, and waiting wasn't getting any easier.
All attempts to make contact had failed and communication across such long distances was complicated when you lost the use of the specially developed communicators. The lack of communication was to be expected but...
I shook my head. All the possibilities were beating down upon me. Rei hadn't had that much faith in her plan to begin with and...
"Haruka?" Michiru asked, resting her hand on my arm. I looked down at her. Her arm wrapped around my waist.
"Yes?" I replied.
"You need to rest, love." She told me. I shook my head. Not until I'd got word from my family.
"So do you." I told her, she'd stayed by my side day and night and it was beginning to show. We'd slept very little over the last three days. And as the days stretched on, I was far to consumed by what was going on to even consider sleep. I didn't want to miss the news when it finally came.
"I'll leave when you do." Michiru replied, her voice reinforced with conviction. I turned to look at her, prepping for an argument. I could see my feelings reflected on her face, neither of us would be willing to stand down.
I opened my mouth to start off the argument but someone cut across me.
"This is all very touching but I need a word with Michiru." Rei announced, I did my best to glare at her but it wasn't forthcoming. "Sooner would be better than later, Michiru."
With a sigh and a glance at me, Michiru followed Rei out of the room. I wasn't sure if I was happy about this, on one hand Rei was probably the one person who could talk some sense into Michiru but on the other... Michiru wasn't here anymore and already the silence was becoming unnerving.
MICHIRU
I followed Rei out into the hallway, my frustration and concern over the current situation hadn't been improved by Rei's graceless summons.
"Couldn't you see we were in the middle of something?" I asked her in annoyance. She certainly did know how to pick her moments... mind you, she always had been rather inept in social situations. I supposed that was due to a lack of socialization when she was young. Then again, it could have just been a Martian thing. I never knew where the culture differences ended and Rei's personal quirks began.
"I thought it took precedence over a lover's spat." She replied. Okay, so that one was definitely all on Rei. "You two are both on edge, that's understandable but you need to take a step back and get your head on straight."
I took a deep breath, steadying myself. Rei knew more about the stresses of battle than anyone else. She was probably right. I nodded.
"You need to distance yourself from this – from her." I balked at this. I wouldn't leave her when she needed me most.
"Rei..." I started, needing to tell her that I couldn't do what she was asking me to.
"Listen, Michiru, if this is really happening... if it's going to turn out the way I think it is, you cannot be worrying about Haruka right now."
"What are you talking about Rei? What Haruka is going through..."
"Michiru. Shut up and listen to me. What she's going through... If I'm right, it will be you next. You have to start the evacuation of your planet now. I'll deal with Haruka." I could sense the panic rising in Rei. Her posture and mannerisms betrayed her desperation.
"You have to get them out of there." She told me, her tone was dark.
"Rei..." I murmured. "I can't leave her, she's... she's my family."
"If you don't do this, we could lose... You could lose the rest of your family." She told me, her voice was strained now. The urgency in her eyes was unfamiliar. I'd seen her through various stages of emotion but nothing like this. The fear in her eyes was what brought it all into perspective. "Michiru, you're the one who knows how to navigate the Neptunian political scene, they will listen to you. Please don't argue with me over this... just get them out of there."
"Rei..." I breathed, knowing that my parents were as close to a family as she had. And that relationship was important to her.
"Michiru, you have to get them out of there. If you trust me even the slightest bit... do this for me. It's all I ask of you. I'll look after Haruka, just go warn your family."
I found myself nodding. Rei smiled in relief as she went to join Haruka. I took in a shaky breath, what Rei had been saying was sinking in. Neptune could be headed into a war we were woefully unprepared for. I broke into a run, trying to get to the communications room as fast as possible.
MINAKO
I was doing my best not to hover.
My concern for Rei was almost overwhelming, each moment I watched her the struggle inside of her became more apparent. I wanted nothing more than to reach out and engulf her in a hug, but when I looked at what she was doing I couldn't bring myself to interrupt her. She was holding the situation together through sheer force of will, Haruka was nearing her breaking point and Rei was the only one able to offer reassurance or support.
We knew that, at worst, we could simply be waiting for news of genocide – the death of an entire civilization. But it wasn't the worst of it. The worst part of it was the hope that flickered occasionally in Haruka's eyes. If we had been resigned to the destruction we could prepare for it but hope kept us in constant fear.
I sighed, catching Rei flick her eyes away from me in a hurry. I swallowed roughly as I brushed her consciousness with mine, the pain running through her head was growing. There was more than just physical pain though, there was a deep longing as well. I reached out to her, resting my hand on hers as she rested against one of the tables. Her gaze shot back to mine, I gave her a small, hopefully reassuring, smile and tried to take away some of the pain.
I kept my hand on hers as she turned her attention back to Haruka. There was a rumbling noise from overhead and Haruka bolted from the room.
I did my best not to worry as Rei followed her. Rei didn't even notice the damage she was doing herself but I did. She needed rest. She needed to come to terms with... everything. This chaos wasn't good for her.
HARUKA
I raced towards the terminal as the Uranian shuttles began to land. A temporary refugee camp had been established in the days we'd spent waiting for news of the battle – it was another thing Rei had been good with. She and Michiru had worked together to organize the relief efforts, Rei knew how to best organize these things but Michiru had the skills necessary for communicating with the Lunar nobles. They made a damn good team.
I found that thought chased from my mind as one of the royal shuttles landed. I fought my way towards it, elbowing my way past the throngs of Lunar soldiers and Uranian citizens. All I could think of was my parents.
One of my mother's escort disembarked from the transport. I caught her by the shoulder, pulling her to face me.
"My parents? Where are they?" I asked, she looked at me in shock. The expression changed to sadness fairly quickly though. My heart sank, it felt like the breath had been knocked out of me.
"Haruka." A familiar voice exclaimed, I turned as I felt a surge run through my heart. An uplifting relief and joy. I caught my mother in my arms as tears wet my eyes.
"You're alright." I breathed, her arms tightened around me. I frowned, realizing her shoulders were shaking. I cast about for some sign of my father but couldn't find any.
"Mom?" I asked softly, feeling like I knew what had happened. If he wasn't here that could only mean one thing.
"He stayed behind to buy us time."She told me, her voice thick with tears. I swallowed back the agony that threatened to engulf me. I knew what this meant, I was truly the ruler of Uranus now. I needed to be strong – I needed to get things under control.
"He wanted me to tell you something." My mother told me some time later, after she had reigned in her emotions. I had taken her to the palace to get her settled in before returning to my duties. There was so much to deal with now my people had arrived...
I looked over at her, wondering what his last message to me would be. I sat down beside her, taking her hand in mine.
"What was it?" I asked her.
"He told me to tell you that he trusts your judgement." She told me. I frowned, remembering the last time he'd said those words to me.
Our conversation about the Martians and their role in the Alliance. I couldn't tell if his final message to me was saying that I had made the right choice or if he had been questioning the way things had turned out. Uranus has received no Martian aid in it's final days. I sighed. While it was true that Rei had done what she could... but with the destruction of our planet, surely there would be some who wouldn't agree.
I nodded. I needed to stand by my convictions no matter what people said. It wasn't just that I trusted Michiru's faith in Rei... I trusted Rei. She could have turned away from us, she could have let us suffer our fate. My people certainly hadn't given her any reason to intervene. But she didn't. She never would have done that. Rei, despite the injuries given to her, would do her best to save lives. She would always do her best to save lives no matter the cost to herself. I could trust her.
I looked back over to my mother, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.
"You should get some rest. I have work to do." I told her, she nodded. There was sorrow in her eyes but it was coupled with pride. I got to my feet, leaving the room and joining Michiru in the hallway.
"We should go join the others." She told me, taking my hand.
"I need to start..."
"Ami's already making a list of survivors and Minako has been collecting information from the surviving soldiers to get a coherent time line assembled. Makoto is overseeing the distribution of resources and shelter – Ami thought she'd be well suited to that task." Michiru informed me.
"What about Rei?" I asked, she was the one who concerned me the most at the moment.
"Minako wanted her to go get some rest... but Rei, being Rei, is refusing until we get things under control. So Minako has her going over information we've collected."
"Rei's has been pushing herself rather hard the last few days." I commented.
"So have you." Michiru pointed out. I nodded but decided not to verbally acknowledge it.
"We have work to do. My father's death means..."
"I know what it means, but you are allowed to mourn. No one would blame you for that." Michiru cut across.
"There will be time for that soon enough, but right now I need to deal with the matters at hand. Once I get my people settled I can grieve... but not until then."
Michiru squeezed my hand.
"Rei's in the common room, that's probably the best place to start if you want to get these matters resolved as quickly as possible." I nodded and headed off in the advised direction.
MICHIRU
Things were finally starting to calm down as the last of the information trickled in. It had taken two days but we'd managed this catastrophe well enough. Relief was starting to set in as our task came to an end. I knew that sooner or later we would have to start preparing for the next wave of refugees – my own people this time – but for now we wanted to catch our breath and relax.
Only Rei seemed still on edge. She and Haruka had been having a hushed conversation off to one side for the last few minutes... it had taken long enough to draw everyone's attention.
"It doesn't make sense. I must have missed something. Rei murmured looking back over the sheets. Haruka could only gape at Rei.
"There are more survivors than you anticipated... and you're acting like it's the end of the world. Shit, Rei. Lighten up." Haruka grumbled, looking mildly annoyed. I had to admit, Rei's pessimistic attitude had me slightly unnerved.
Rei shook her head.
"Something's not right."
"So now you're upset that more people didn't die?" Haruka prodded.
"Haruka..." I warned, watching as Minako walked over to Rei.
"What are you thinking?" Minako asked carefully as she rested a hand on Rei's arm. Rei shook her head again, looking at the plans laid out on the table in frustration. The hastily assembled reports were showing her something that the rest of us didn't understand. There was a larger picture painted across them that went beyond our sight.
I looked back to Haruka, watching as her eyes flicked back over to Rei. The start of a frown was building in her eyes. I could see she was concerned about Rei's thinking, she just didn't want to hear any more bad news. We'd had enough of that for a long time.
"That can't be right. It doesn't make sense. Why would they...?" Rei muttered lowly, I returned my attention to her. Frustration was building up inside her.
"Rei, what is it?" I asked, even Haruka seemed to settle down for a moment as her jaw clenched. She may have still been angry but she was listening.
"I don't think they were going to war." Rei told me but her gaze was on Haruka.
"They slaughtered thousands, hundreds of thousands, of my people and you don't think that they were going to war!?" Haruka exclaimed. Rei didn't even flinch, she had been expecting this outburst.
"With their numbers they could have slaughtered everyone... but they didn't. I've looked over all the reports." Rei replied calmly. "They showed mercy when they shouldn't have – not if they wanted to destroy your people."
"So, they came the Uranus to do what? Shower us in hugs and kisses? I'm sure that will come as a huge relief to the people they slaughtered." Haruka commented sarcastically, agitation showed clearly on her face.
"An invasion of that size indicates one of two things. War or... occupation. And occupation could is not too different from a large scale hostage situation. I don't think they wanted a fight. I think they wanted leverage." Rei explained, in an offhand manner before turning to me. "You did get through to Neptune, right?"
I nodded, looking between her and Haruka. Rei's face showed nothing but determination, Haruka's had taken on an ashen hue at the thought of what occupation would mean for those who were left on her planet. Rei's eyes held mine, demanding information.
"Neptune started the planet-wide evacuation the day after we spoke. My mother spoke to the Autokrator, the Martians are offering a place of refuge until more ships can be mobilized. It was decided that the refugees would be moved to Mars first as a layover point before shuttling them to the Moon – the population would reach safety faster that way. Once the entire population has evacuated they'll depart for the Moon."
"Depends on what you'd call safety." Rei murmured. "But it will certainly buy us some time. I imagine that the invaders will still take their time in securing Neptune. I should speak with Prometheus as soon as possible though..."
I looked at Minako, we had both sensed the apprehension in her tone. It was then I cleared my throat.
"I believe he's actually on his way here with my parents." I told her. "They wouldn't tell me why, only that it was important."
As I said this I found myself wanting to gauge Minako's reaction about this information rather than Rei's. I had a feeling she knew more about this particular occurrence than Rei did.
MINAKO
Prometheus was coming back. He had mentioned that there was something he could do to help Rei with her visions, I wondered if this was it. I could only hope that this was it. As the days passed I could see more and more of what these visions were doing to her.
She rarely slept and when she did it came in fits and starts. It certainly wasn't a restful environment. Rei was healing well enough under the circumstances but I could still see the pain she was in. The pressure she was under.
I had the feeling it wasn't just the visions keeping her up at night, sometimes when she was going over the war reports she would get this look in her eyes. It was recognition she was seeing something in our current circumstances that reminded her of something from her past. And then that look would disappear, hidden behind a mask of concentration.
War. It was something she was familiar with. It was something she recognized in all shapes and forms. And it was something I didn't want to see in her anymore. Her war with herself needed to stop.
And that was why when the Martian shuttle landed I made a point to be waiting at the landing for it.
PROMETHEUS.
Through the clouds of dust kicked up by the shuttle I could see someone standing there waiting for me. I wasn't exactly surprised by her presence, it was actually a good thing. I wanted to run certain... information by her before I brought it to Rei's attention.
"Lady Minako." I greeted, hardly noticing the guard that followed my companions from the shuttle.
"What do you have Prometheus?" She asked, I raised an eyebrow. There was so much of Rei in that question it had surprised me – straight to the point and blunt. "Did you..."
"I found someone to help Rei with her... problem." I told her. Her eyes narrowed.
"Someone?" She asked, then her eyes flicked over my shoulder. She paused. I could see her assessing the man before her, cataloguing the similarities between him and someone she had come to know quite well in the last few months.
"Is he - who is he?" She questioned in a low voice. I had the feeling she already knew but I decided to answer her anyway.
"He's the last remaining Bonehunter."
"You know that's not what I meant." She remarked, the sharpness in her tone was
"He's also Rei's grandfather." I added.
"How is this even possible? I was under the impression that all the Bonehunters were dead – and that Rei was the only one left with any affiliation to them." Minako said, still studying the man over my shoulder. I nodded, I had known these questions were coming.
"That's what my father wanted everyone to think." I told her.
"Why?" Minako asked. I frowned, not liking the answer I had to give her.
"You've seen Rei, the power she has... He was insurance. If she ever lost control he is probably the one person on Mars who could have controlled her. My father thought it wise to keep one of the High Priests alive to contain her. My father kept him secured in one of the peripheral holds – he was kept out of the way and locked down."
I could see Minako was mulling this over in her head.
"And what are you going to use him for?
"I'm not going to use him to keep Rei in line, if that's what you're asking. I was under the impression that was your job." I told her. "He has an interesting perspective on Mars. I was hoping to use that after he helps Rei. His point of view might not be the most suited for Mars but after seeing how Rei turned out, I'm sure it's not completely without merit."
Minako nodded, not rising to my jab about her keeping Rei in line. I turned back to look at the elderly man.
"Do you think she's ready for this?" I asked Minako. She sighed.
"I have no idea."
MINAKO
I watched as Rei was approached by Prometheus. She didn't even look at him, her gaze was securely focused on the older man. I could see emotions pass over her face as she studied him. The man approached her slowly, studying her in the same way she was studying him.
I stepped closer to Rei, trying to gauge her reaction to what was happening. All I could sense from her was disbelief. I turned my attention to him, trying to feel out his intentions. I wanted to be ready to intervene if this all became too much for Rei.
"You look so much like your mother." The elderly man commented, I could see sadness in his expression. I felt a rush of emotions from him that I couldn't block out, the ache of his loss filled me. I pulled back from it as best I could. I could feel Rei tensing up beside me. I reached over, tensing up
"Rei, this is Chryses. He's your mother's father... a Bonehunter." Prometheus told her, his voice had an easy cadence to it like he was trying to negotiate with an enemy. Rei looked over at him.
"Why now Prometheus?" She asked him, with only the slightest waver in her voice.
"Because you need the guidance." Chryses replied, cutting off Prometheus. "Normally seers were trained in the use of their gift from the moment their minds were opened. That was not the case with you, so I am here to remedy that."
Prometheus frowned at Chryses' explanation
"I brought him here to help you." Prometheus told her. "Not to get you under control, not to make it easier to weaponize you. I brought him here to help because you need it."
Rei nodded, it was obvious she was still coming to terms with the fact that Prometheus wasn't like their father. He didn't always have a motive behind his actions. Sometimes he was just simply acting for one single reason.
"And what about you?" Rei asked, looking at Chryses. "Why are you here?"
"I am here because you are a danger to every one and every thing around you. You were raised as a weapon, it's what you are." Chryses told her, I felt myself bristle at his words. Even Prometheus looked a little put off by his words, he held his tongue though. Rei had simply frozen, I could tell the judgement he was passing was everything she feared.
"Who the hell are you to decide that? You don't know anything about her." I exclaimed, closing my hand around Rei's arm. I wanted to shield her from everything he was saying.
"She is a tool of destruction and strife when she should be unifying and healing our land." Chryses pronounced. "There is nothing to her but war. And there never will be."
"You're wrong." Rei murmured, her doubt showed through clearly.
"You say that but you lack conviction." Chryses told her. "You doubt what you say... and that is why it will always be true. You will always be at war until you can convince yourself that there is more."
His voice had lost it's condemning edge.
"You need to set aside your doubt and find peace." Chryses declared. "Now let me show you how."
After hours of watching Rei struggle with the tasks Chryses had set for her, I was beginning to question his methods. Ever since she had... come back I'd been working at getting her to believe in her potential for good... and in a few short sentences he had torn down all that progress. I should have know that the Bonehunter way of doing things would have been just as rigid as the standard Martian way of doing things. There were no half measures with her people, there was no grey area. Either you were committed or you weren't.
Watching Chryses had shown me that he was as rigidly committed to the idea of peace as Cycnus had been to the idea of war. And it was in that moment that I understood the reason for the Purge. The unrelenting nature of both parties and their conviction of their own superiority would never allow them to coexist. There was no compromise, just conviction. They had chosen a path and they would stick to it no matter what.
I sighed as I watched Rei's frustration finally boil over as she slammed her fist into the ground in front of her. The fire Chryses had built exploded outwards, racing towards the sky. As quickly as it had come, the fire vanished. Rei looked almost embarassed as she shifted into a more comfortable kneeling position. After what seemed like an eternity Rei gave a growl, running her hand through her hair. She closed her eyes, bringing up a hand to rekindle the flame.
She was ready to try again.
Chryses had told her she was failing because she was too conflicted to control it but he had given her nothing to help her overcome that. She had no way to solve the conflict, no way to grasp control.
I knelt down behind her, resting my hands on her shoulders. I felt her tense up, the muscles in her neck flexing slightly. I moved slightly to brush her hair back over her shoulder letting my fingers trail over her hair.
In the past few days I'd come to understand more about her. I was beginning to learn her tells, even though I could simply read her emotions I didn't want to rely on it. I wanted to know her without it.
I wanted her to trust me without it.
I slowly began to rub her shoulders, thinking on how I could help her to trust me. I knew that she was wary of me... like she didn't know what to think of me. I felt her muscles begin to relax, she was warming to my presence. After every moment of separation between us, it was like I had to start over from the beginning again.
I rested my head against hers. If I had to guess the reason for her hesitation I'd have to say that it was because she wasn't sure of my feelings or intentions.
We'd been on better terms, sharing a room had enabled that, but really she had no reason to trust me. She slept lightly, with a weapon within easy reach. I would catch her watching me out of the corner of her eye as if expecting a knife in the back.
She didn't trust be because I hadn't managed to work up the courage to say the words that would make her trust me. I didn't have the courage to admit out loud that I loved her. Saying that, committing to that emotion, would mean abandoning everything I'd ever known or been raised to believe.
To admit out loud that I loved her would make it final, everything I'd believed would be thrown into turmoil. And I wasn't sure if I wanted to throw Rei into the middle of that – I wasn't sure that I should throw her into the middle of that. She had enough to worry about at the moment. But she needed to know. And that took priority over any doubts I may have had.
My heart wouldn't let me be divided any longer or at least it wouldn't let me appear divided. And even if I couldn't say it out loud, there were other ways to let her know. I gently sent my feelings across our bond, the desperation I'd felt when she'd died, the pure relief when I'd felt her return, and the untidy jumble of emotions that made up the sensation of being in love.
She sucked in a sharp breath as the feelings revealed themselves. I tried to read her emotional response to my transmission, but I couldn't get a feel for it.
"I'm here for you." I whispered, gently leaning down to kiss her cheek. After a moment she turned to look at me with vulnerability evident in her gaze. She swallowed and I could feel the confusion of emotions running through her, underneath which ran the steady beat of relief. I smiled at her even though she couldn't see it, rubbing my thumb across the nape of her neck. I stayed beside her as she closed her eyes and reached out with her mind – trying to find the future.
"I believe in you." I whispered. The peace my words had brought her steeped through her entire being, a calm was stretching through the room. The flame in front of me began to flicker – a shimmer of a picture beginning to show at it's heart.
Rei's eyes opened.