Disclaimer: I don't own the Outsiders or Arms of an Angel.

There's always some reason to feel "not good enough" And it's hard at the end of the day. I need some distraction, oh beautiful release. Memories seep from my veins. They may be empty and weightless, and maybe I'll find some peace tonight.

Her mother called the cops. She did right after it happened but she called them back when she overheard Two-Bit going on about Ronnie. She went on it then. She was down at the station day and night until they finally found Dally's car. They put two and two together then.

She shifted around in her seat. Her momma wasn't too happy about what had happened while she was gone. After the hugging ceased, she went cracking. Then came the 'don't trust boys talk'. She could have done without that one.

"Ants in your pants?" Two-Bit sneered from the doorway.

Emily shot him a dirty stare. "Hush."

He grinned and walked into her room. He'd forgotten how long it'd been since he was up here back when she was missing. He'd come up here and just stare out her window for hours during those few days. Those were longest fucking days of his life.

He pulled out one of her chairs and sat down. "Ah, that wasn't nothin'. You should of seen the whippins' she used to give me. Man, woman may be small but boy can she throw down."

Emily turned her attention to her fogging window. It started raining again. She didn't like the rain anymore. "How was she...while I was gone?"

"She was fine! I'm the one you should be askin' 'bout."

Emily giggled. She should have known. She did know. "Sorry 'bout that by the way."

"So I've heard." He reached down in his pocket and pulled out a box of cigs.

She looked at him, a disgusted look on her face. "Don't light that up in here. Are you stupid or something?"

He rolled his eyes and flicked his lighter open anyway. "Accordin' to you, I am. And you ain't one to be talkin' about stupid people anyhow. You ain't gettin' no Nobel Peace Prize this year."

"How come you smoke so much, Two?" she asked.

He flipped the lighter shut and took a big puff. "'Cause I'm a man."

She raised an eyebrow. "Can I have one?"

"No!" he said, making her feel stupider than she already did.

She watched the smoke raise up and spread out around the room. "Danni smokes."

"Yeah well if I was shaken up with Winston I'd need a couple to drown too."

She laughed at that. That was something about her brother she admired. He could laugh. Not many men could just outright laugh. Two-Bit could make light by just cracking a joke, offensive or not, he knew how to make other laugh if not only himself. He lightened people. That was hard to do. It goes unnoticed. People just shrug it off but not Emily.

"How have things been since I've been gone?" she asked. "I heard you got into some trouble yourself."

He flicked his weed in the ashtray on her dresser. "Socs are goin' crazy."

"All because of that old man?" She scrunched up her face. "Did they really care about him that much?"

He shrugged and took another puff. He was buzzed himself. He'd been staying that way since Emily left. "It's not just about him. He makes two. They were all like in love with that Sam kid. They think Ronald did that too." His face got red just saying his name.

Emily's face flushed. "I-I didn't kill that old guy. You know that, right?"

He nodded. He had figured that out a long time ago. Though, like everyone else, he had his doubts. He would never admit that to her, but he did.

"I don't think Ronnie killed Sam either." She said it so quietly, Two-Bit barely heard her.

He leaned forward, shocked. "What?"

She immediately wished that hadn't even come out of her mouth. "I-I just don't think he could."

Two-Bit angrily jumped up and slammed his fists on her dresser causing her to jump. "Emily-"

"I'm sorry," she said quickly. "I know you don't like him and I guess you don't have any right to but listen to me: we have to do something! Ronnie didn't kill those people."

Two-Bit couldn't believe what was coming out of her mouth. "He's only in jail for the one," he snapped.

"I was with him all night that night," she said, half-begging him to comply with her. "I can tell the cops that. What's it called? An alibi? I can give him that."

He spun around and faced her, his face solid red with anger. "You are doing no such thing!"

"Why not?" she asked, getting defensive. "He's innocent! You're just going to let him go to prison just because you don't like him?"

"Yes!"

She couldn't believe what she was hearing. He was her brother. The one who was supposed to hear her out. He wasn't hearing anything. He had his feelings about Ronnie set. He wasn't going to back down and she was disgusted by it.

"I don't want to hear another word about it!" He pointed a finger at her. "You hear me?"

She scowled. "Yes."

He gave her one last intimidating look before seeing himself out.

She wasn't going to back down on Ronnie. No matter what he had done or how many times he had lied. This just proved how right she was to run off.

She had to help him.

"So do you think he did it?" I asked. I stayed down on the bed and ran my finger over the nice smelling sheets. I had forgotten what it was like to lie on sheets that smelled good instead of something that smelled like a farm.

He bent over the sink and splashed some water over his face. He raised up and grabbed a towel. "I don't know, Curtis."

"You must have an idea," I pressed on. "What do you think the cops will do to him? They can't charge him if they don't know something right? You know cops. What do you think they're doing?"

He breathed out slowly and tossed the towel over the heater. "Curtis-"

"I don't know why he would do that though," I went on. "Why would he just come to town and kill them just for the heck of it? That doesn't add up."

He flopped over on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the warmth of his bed. Dally missed his bed the most. He enjoyed it more than anyone.

I continued on, "He's just a baby. He's a child. He couldn't cover his hands in blood. I just don't think he would."

We were all starting to sweat. Things were quiet when we got back. We road through town in the cop car. All eyes were on us, judging eyes just soaking in everything they could. Whispering their thoughts on the story. Trying to come up with their own lies and rumors to tell.

"This ain't right." I shook my head. "Something's up. Ronnie didn't kill them. I know he didn't." I turned to his body just lying on the bed. "What do you think?"

He chuckled. "You mean I'm allowed to speak now?"

I threw a loose pillow towards his head. "Really now. He's your brother. You-"

"Nah," he threw the word out there. "I don't."

I crawled across the bed to his face. "See! I'm telling you, there's something up with this! How could the cops get anything on him? Unless they did have something or someone planted something."

"Goin' all private detective now?"

I ran my fingers through his hair. It was wet and smooth. It slid right through. It was one of the few times I hadn't seen it full of grease. "I'm bein' serious. You should be the one that's worried."

"What'd Superman say?"

"That you're an imbosile." He beamed proudly. "He says the cops aren't fooling around with this and neither is anyone else. This isn't a joke. He says it's breaking again."

His breathing picked up slightly. The smirky expression he had on went away. He clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth.

I sighed and rubbed the tip of his nipple. "What are we gonna do?"

He bit a fingernail off and spit it out, causing it to bounce off the wall. "Stay the fuck out of the fire."

"This is about us this time," I said. "We can't stay out of it. It's coming around again." I put my palm on the surface of his skin and breathed in. It was warmer than the rest of his body. It was pink and small and it matched. We matched.

I ran my fingers over it and circled around it. I remembered at the hospital when I touched it through the bandage. It didn't feel like it felt now. It was warm and fragile. Most people would turn the other cheek every time they saw it but I liked it. It was his badge. It connected us.

"I should go home," I said, still circling.

He breathed in and his muscles contracted over my hand. "They mad at ya?"

I rested my head on his chest and traced over the little muscles on his stomach. "No."

"Then why are ya in a hurry?"

I didn't know how to answer. I wasn't. I didn't really want to go home. There were too many questions and talks. Soda filled Pony in on what exactly was going on between us and the other side and our house was filled with theories and allegations.

"What are you going to do?" I asked.

I could feel his hand on my back, reaching around the front. "Dunno. Can't exactly go roamin' the town."

Darry advised him not to go out very much. According to one of his work buddies everyone thinks Dally is the one that knows something about this. We all knew it'd be a matter of time before the cops got to him. It was the Socs we were worried about.

The T.V. started to scratch again. There was banging from next door helping it along. Then came the squeakiness of the bed and the moaning. Dally laughed at it and banged on the wall back.

"They're like damn rabbits."

I didn't move as the noise stopped and there was a deep sigh. "What about Ronnie?"

He was still focused on the wall. He looked back down and chuckled. He wasn't hiding anything. "What 'bout 'im?"

I just wanted to lie here forever. I could hear his heartbeat in my ear and feel his muscles move every time he breathed and it reminded me how far we'd gone. How long it'd been since I just got to lie on him. "Nothing."

His hand moved up to my hair and he stroked it. I closed my eyes and breathed in. "Thinkin' 'bout headin' down to Billy's for a while, ya know, down in Texas."

"Why?" I curled up closer.

"Can't stay here. I ain't sittin' up here like no goddamn hermit all the time," he grumbled. "I gotta do something."

I opened my eyes back up and stopped tracing his stomach. I knew what he was saying. I knew he was going to. I just didn't want to hear it. "You don't have to."

"It's only a couple of miles away." He laughed. "Get Ponyboy to hot wire Superman's big wheels and ride on down there."

I snickered. "He don't know how to hot wire anything."

"Not from what I heard. Mark has been influencing the baby."

"Great." I didn't care about Pony hotwiring cars. I didn't care much about anything. "Just stay for a little while longer. Just until we really figure out what's going on. I'll talk to Randy if I have to."

"Don't," he said harshly. "Don't you dare go over there to them. He ain't your friend, Curtis."

I swallowed a lump in my throat. I knew that. "Just stay...a little longer."

He didn't say anything else. The T.V. went out and the room filled with silence. We lied there together. I wasn't going to let go just let. I'd let go too many times. I wasn't doing this for them. They weren't going to win this fight.

"Danni, are you listening to me?"

I looked up and nodded. Everyone was looking at me except for Randy. He was by the window not looking at anyone. He was just there. "Yeah, Sam. I'm listening."

"What did I just say then?" he snapped.

I tried to call for Randy to look at me. To help me out here. I didn't want to fight this by myself. He told me he'd help me. "Not to say anything. Act like nothing happened."

Marilyn was in a ball on the couch. It was starting to hit her hard. She had an attack yesterday and that's why we were all here. "Mike, man you gotta control her," Sam said.

Michael nodded and whispered something in her ear. She snapped at him and pushed him away. "We can't just sit here anymore!"

Sam got a raging look on his face. "That's exactly what we're gonna do!" He turned back to me; grabbing me by the arms and making me look at him. "You know what happens to us if we don't? What happens, Danni?"

I tried to look at Randy again but Sam forced my face to him. This was me and him. "We'll get in trouble."

"And what happens to the person who tells? Tells anyone Danni!"

"You'll do it to them," I whispered. "You'll do the same thing to them."

"Dan," There was a tap at the door. "You've been in here all night. Dinner's ready."

I sat crisscrossed on my bed. I gazed up at him and stopped the tears for a minute. "I'll be down there in a minute." I forced a small smile.

He, like always, didn't fall for it. He raced over to the side of my bed. He put a hand on my forehead "Dan, what's wrong? Are ya sick or something?"

I wiped my face. "No Soda I'm fine...I just don't understand why I'm acting like this now."

"Acting like what?" He grabbed my hand and held it like I was on my death bed. "Is something wrong?"

I sniffed and shook my head. "Can I ask you a question?"

He didn't press the problem anymore. That was Soda. He nodded. "Sure."

I grabbed a tissue from beside my bed and went on, "Have you ever done something you knew was wrong? Like something really really bad?" I looked at him with pleading eyes.

He blinked and mumbled a quick answer, "Well yeah. Everyone does stuff they ain't supposed to, right?" He laughed it off.

"Really really really bad," I said again with more empathy on bad. This wasn't clicking for him just yet. "It just sits in you and eats inside of you and you can't get it out. What do you do then?"

He fiddled with the sheet on the bed. "You should tell someone I guess, Dan. It's not good keeping things bottled in like that. Mom always said to let it flow." He imitated her with a giggle.

I grinned. "She only did that so we'd rat on each other."

He got a puzzled look on his face. "I rated on myself."

"Because you were the only one that didn't catch on to the trap."

We sat there and laughed. I sometimes missed the days when we were all little. During those days we all seemed to be a little closer. Even now we should be closer because it's just us, but that's not the way it was. All of us, even Darry, hung by each other when we were little. Time just changes things I guess.

"Really though," I said. "What would you do?"

He shrugged and thought about a reasonable answer. "I think you should tell someone what you did, Dan."

"That's the Sodapop my big brother answer," I smiled. "Give me the Sodapop my cool big brother who's my best friend answer."

He snickered and wiped his face. "Tell someone who wouldn't get you in trouble then. Like Dally or a friend or something."

"I don't have any friends."

He got a funny look on his face and then turned it over to his thinking face. "Well tell it to a frog. It'll make ya feel better at least." He grinned, proud of his answer

"What if you can't tell people?"

He raised his eyebrows and his smile faded. "Why can't you tell anyone?"

"It's hypothetically," I corrected. "And hypothetically, let's say I promised on my life."

He ignored every thought that told him to press on. "Hypothetically speaking now, what can they do to you if you did? It's not like they're really gonna find out right, and if they do what's the worst that can happen?"

I stopped the conversation. Soda wouldn't understand. He understands a lot of things, but this is just one he wasn't going to get. No one got it. No one I could talk to anyway.

"How's Darry?"

He shoved me over and climbed up on the bed. "Fine now."

I traced my fingers over the flowers on my comforter. "When do you think him and Kathy are going to get married?"

"Soon I hope!" he whined.

I laughed again and we sat and talked about Kathy and Darry and planned the wedding for them and picked out kid names. Soda was getting really wrapped into it, even to the point to where I think it upset him thinking about his brother's relationship that was so perfect.

"Are you okay now?" he asked, not wanting to go into Darry any longer.

I quickly nodded. "It's nothing anyway. I don't even know why I care about it."

"Hypothetically now," he mimicked me. "You sure you don't wanna tell...well me?" He smiled a cheesy grin.

I sneered and shook my head. "Thanks but no thanks. It's really nothing...hypothetically speaking. It was a long time ago anyway. You know the saying, let sleeping bones lie."

He ruffled my hair and got up off the bed. "Well if ya ever, ya know, hypothetically, wanna tell me, I'm all ears." He shut the door, leaving me alone.

Let sleeping bones lie.

That's all we have to do. Let it lie. Let it die.

In the arms of the Angels, far away from here. From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear. You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie. In the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here.