20.) Toll the Hounds
Kick up the fire, and let the flames break loose
To drive the shadows back
- Philip Larkin
MICHIRU
I entered the room silently, hoping, beyond hope, that I wouldn't disturb Minako and Rei. I lingered in the doorway, watching them for a time before Minako noticed my presence.
"She trusts you." I commented quietly when her attention turned to me. I wasn't sure if the relief I felt was adequately contained in my words, but I certainly hoped so.
"What?" Minako asked in a whisper, sounding genuinely startled. I approached her, taking a seat on the bed on Rei's other side. My eyes didn't leave Minako's though, I gave a soft, happy sigh. Which, due to the circumstances, surprised both her and I to some extent.
"She trusts you." I repeated, reaching down to softly run my fingers through Rei's hair. I knew from intimate experience what would, and wouldn't, wake her from her precarious slumber.
"She doesn't like people to know, but she has trouble sleeping without someone she trusts at her side. The fact that she's sleeping here, like this, with you..." I let my voice trail slightly before picking back up again. "This means something, Minako."
I smiled as I watched the shy, slightly satisfied, look cross Minako's face. I leaned back against the headboard, content to just watch Minako's eyes on Rei. I felt so incredibly happy that Rei had finally found someone like this. Someone whose love wasn't divided like mine.
Eventually Minako looked back to me.
"Has it always been this way?" She asked me, her tone both curious and sad. I looked back down to Rei, glad to see that her expression was still peaceful. She was fast asleep and untroubled by nightmares as far as I could tell. Perhaps this would help her heal.
"The first I knew of it was about seven years ago, we were fourteen or so. Rei had come as close to death as I had ever seen her, aside from her recent excursion." I paused, still finding this memory hard to talk about. "Nearly three days passed with Rei wrapped in a nightmarish hell, the horrors of her past consumed any semblance of peace she may have had..."
I hesitated, feeling a slight ache that was a mixture of mine and Minako's sadness and regret.
"When she finally awoke, she fought off sleep as well as the drugs that were administered. My mother and I didn't really know what to do." A fond smile crossed my lips for a split second before fading. |She was always so stubborn... She was so tense, so on edge, that I could do nothing but sit with her in the infirmary and read."
"It took hours but eventually she drifted off into a peaceful slumber and I couldn't bring myself to leave her side. The next morning I told her she was always welcome to join me in my room. I didn't want to see her suffer like that ever again."
"After that Rei didn't sleep anywhere else as long as the two of us were on Neptune. I don't know how long it was going on before I found out and I don't want to know how she coped, or didn't cope, with it back on Mars or after I met Haruka. I... I'm just glad she trusts you enough to let her guard down."
I gave Minako a weak teary smile, it was a look that was reflected on her face. She reached across Rei, taking my hand in one of hers.
"I'm glad too. Thank you for telling me, I'm not sure if she and I will ever be able to talk about her past. It just seems... too difficult for her." Minako told me. I nodded.
"It is but I think that, in time, she'll be able to bring it up with you. She's slow to let down her walls for anyone and I think that with you, it might take her a bit longer. She loves you... and she wants you to love her. I think she fears disappointing you more than anything else in this universe."
"I do love her."
"Have you told her?" I asked her, then I paused, realizing how aggressive that it might have come across.
"I only ask because it took me far to long to admit to her that I loved her. I don't want you to make the same mistake that I did."
"I... I don't know how clear I've been." "I've implied it certainly but I don't know how... I don't know what will push her too hard, I don't want her to break.
I let out a laugh.
"You might want to be completely transparent with her about your feelings, she's a bit of an idiot." I told her. "It's something you're going to have to get used to."
REI
I awoke to the sound of laughter. One laugh I identified as Michiru's, the other... mystified me. I wrapped my arms more tightly around the body beside me, wondering what had was making Michiru laugh.
"I think we woke her up." A voice murmured softly, killing the happy sounds that had filled the room. I forced my eyes open, trying to place that voice. What in the nine hells was going on here?
And then it hit me. Michiru. The Lunar Palace. Minako.
I blinked away the fuzziness about my vision, doing my best to sit up. Two firm hands rested on my shoulders, preventing me from moving.
"You should get more rest while you can, Rei." Michiru told me lightly, her voice soothing and familiar... but it was the hand on my other shoulder that brought me the most comfort.
"Minako?" I asked, still feeling a bit dazed. I saw Michiru smile gently, looking at Minako who I seemed to be wrapped around. This threw me completely off kilter. I released my hold on her, jerking upright despite their best efforts.
"Minako.." I repeated, feeling unsure how she felt about our position; about the events of earlier today. The past was returning to me in bits and pieces, slowly forming a greater picture of what had happened. I felt a sickness rising inside me. Minako wrapped a blanket around my shoulders, I was still a bit to preoccupied with the emotion with in me to notice anything else.
I felt a set of hands caress my bare back, lingering over the scars they stumbled across; while another pair brushed hair back from my face, rubbing along my arm reassuringly.
"Rei." Minako's voice echoed clearly through the lingering haze of sleep. I looked over at her, still feeling a bit shell shocked. "You should try and sleep some more. We won't go anywhere, we're not leaving you."
I felt my breath leave me as I looked into her eyes. I tried to find the words to reply, to try and convey my shock and surprise at waking up like this. I felt Michiru's hand leave my shoulder, reaching over to Minako. They shared a look.
"Rei?" Michiru prompted, I looked over at her; still not entirely sure what was going on. All I knew was that I was horrified at myself, feeling sick and numb but... this? I didn't know what to make of it.
"Yes?" I asked, my voice coming out as a confused monotone.
"You're being an idiot again. Calm down, okay?" Michiru prompted, the teasing smile from our past resurfacing. My jaw clicked shut automatically, wiping away the stupid expression that had seated itself on my face. "There you go Minako, she should be a bit more comprehending now."
Again there was the sound of laughter, this time it was lighter... and seemingly at my expense; though I had the feeling that if these two were laughing together, it was about me in some way or another. I blinked sleep from my eyes, doing my best to make some sense of why I was nestled in between the two of them on Minako's bed.
No answers were forthcoming.
A hand brushed against the back of my neck, the softness and reassurance that flooded through me meant that it could only be one person. I looked over, meeting Minako's soft gaze.
"Rei, you are safe here. If you still feel tired, go back to sleep. We're not going anywhere. We have no where else to be."
"I... I don't understand." I finally admitted, trying to convey the confusion that I felt inside. Michiru and Minako shared a look. This time it was Michiru who replied, I felt my attention turn to her... only now beginning to find this back and forth between them annoying.
"There's not a lot to understand here Rei. We both love you. We're both worried about you. Where else could you possibly imagine we would be, other than right here beside you?" She asked, her head coming to lean against my shoulder. I sucked in a shaky breath.
Minako wrapped an arm around me, pulling me back against her side; causing my face to turn into her neck. I let my eyes close, just breathing in their scents. Safety, home, and love. I felt my breath release in a more controlled manner, beginning to feel a bit calmer.
Michiru's voice started up again, this time repeating familiar words and phrases from my childhood. She was reading to me again, I let my eyes close; bringing my arm around Minako's waist again... feeling reassured by Michiru's presence beside me.
HARUKA
I poked my head inside Minako's room, when there was no negative reaction to my intrusion I continued inside, pausing when I saw the scene playing out on the bed in front of me. Rei was cradled in between Michiru and Minako, her head and torso wrapped around Minako's delicate frame.
Michiru's eyes met mine, her legs were settled over top of Rei's. She was reading aloud from one of the many books I recognized as having particular meaning to both her and Rei, her hand rested on the skin of Rei's collar bone while she let her head lay against Rei's shoulder. The book was placed delicately on Rei's lap.
I leaned against the wall, smiling at them. They seemed so at home with each other. Though Rei was either asleep or beyond caring at this point, she seemed peaceful and relaxed, which at this point was a welcome prospect.
"Is this just a threesome or can anyone join?" I asked with a slight quirk of my expression. Minako laughed quietly while Michiru cast me a dark look. And it was only after I raised my hands in surrender that she gestured to the chair beside the bed; allowing me entrance. I crossed the room with a grin and took a seat, resting my feet upon the bed. Michiru rolled her eyes.
I knew that look and I was incredibly attached to it, generally that expression meant she was finding me both amusing and incredibly obnoxious at the same time. I smirked at her.
She shook her head but her smile was evident in her voice as she read, painting pictures with her voice in a way I had never heard from her before. I looked away, not wanting to interrupt her reading, the melodic flow of her voice filled the room with a soothing atmosphere.
I could hardly blame Rei for falling asleep, being enveloped by that voice as well as being supported by two incredibly wonderful women was probably the most relaxing thing I could think of.
"How are the others doing?" Minako asked me softly, not wanting to draw too much attention from Michiru's reading.
"They're doing well enough. A bit concerned about Rei but so far nothing too important has happened. Queen Serenity is still negotiating with the other planetary leaders about what our next course of action should be."
"Shouldn't you be there for that?" Minako asked, then her tone became concerned. "Shouldn't I be there for that?"
I shook my head, trying to stop myself from violently telling her to stay where she fucking was.
"They can handle it." I reassured her, keeping my voice as quiet as possible. I didn't want the urgency in my tone to awaken Rei, she deserved the rest. As far as I could tell it had been ages since she had found peace like this. "You don't need to leave her, Ami and Makoto are looking after things in your stead. Together they equal out to... well, you, so I figure we can leave things in their hands for the time being. You have much more important things to worry about."
I kept my gaze on Minako even as I felt Michiru's hand settle on my leg. I could tell she was pleased with what I was saying.
"What about you?" Minako asked. "You're the leader of your planet, surely..."
Again I shook my head, cutting her off.
"Nereid told me to leave before I pissed everyone else off. She knows what course of action I'm choosing to pursue. Between her and Prometheus... I have confidence that we'll reach the desired outcome."
"And what outcome is that?" Michiru asked, taking one breaths' worth of pause before continuing with her reading. Rei didn't even stir. I had the feeling she was pretty much out cold at this point.
"We want to go on the offensive and end this war once and for all. We don't want to wait around for Beryl to make her next move; we should hit them hard while they're still recovering from the last blow Rei dealt them." I explained. I watched the two of them share a glance, grateful that I wasn't the only one left out of the loop on this. I could always count on Rei to let things fly over her head.
I allowed myself a slight grin as my attention darted to Rei again. Seeing her there between the two people she probably cared most about in this universe was incredibly reassuring. I knew there was a hell of a lot that I hadn't said to her yet... and that I definitely should before this whole mess ended.
I needed her to know what exactly I thought of her. She deserved at least that from me.
MINAKO
Hours after Haruka had joined Michiru and I in my room, Rei stirred again. This time she came around much more slowly than the last time. There was none of the shock or confusion evident in her... though I could still feel her distress and pain. I gently brushed my fingers along her cheek.
"Good morning." I told her, she squeezed my hand in hers.
"Morning?" She asked in reply, I glanced out the window... it was dark out and the stars hung in the sky.
"Well, not exactly." I told her, letting my fingers trail back through her hair.
"What time is it?" She questioned, squeezing her eyes tightly shut for a moment before opening then and sitting up. Her attention flicked briefly over to Michiru and Haruka before she looked back to me.
"Probably about three in the morning." Haruka answered for me with a yawn. Rei frowned.
"And you haven't been to bed yet?" She asked us, her glaze settling on each of us individually before moving on to the next person. The disapproval was heavy in her tone. Michiru smiled, though both Haruka and I shared a slightly uncomfortable, guilty, look.
"Of course not. We didn't want you to wake alone." She told Rei. "But Haruka and I will go now, we'll get some rest and see you in the 'proper' morning."
Rei's attention turned to me as they left. Her eyes looking slightly pained.
"You didn't have to do that." She told me lowly as the door shut behind the others.
"Yes. I did." I replied, the frown on her face deepened.
"Minako..." Her tone was disapproving again. I wrapped my arms around her, not letting her pull away from me.
"Rei, Michiru and I talked while you were asleep. I think we both needed it. Me to find out what you need... and her to know that you're safe with me. I don't need to know everything about you Rei. I trust you without that." I told her, reiterating what we had spoken about last night before Rei had gone to battle. I ran my fingers up along the skin of her side as I firmly locked eyes with her. Her eyes were wary... but I could feel the glimmer of reassurance and hope within her, despite how she tried to hide it.
I brought my lips against hers, seating myself in her lap as I ran my fingers up along her sides to her shoulders. I pushed down the blanket that I had wrapped around her shoulders earlier.
"And I love you without that." I added before leaning forward and gently kissing the darkened mark on her sternum where the shadow had phased through her and torn the life from her body. "Gods Rei, I love you. I..."
I looked up to meet her eyes, trying to convey to her everything that I was feeling and thinking but she didn't give me that chance. Her lips crashed into mine as she wrapped her arms around my waist.
Before I even truly could comprehend what was happening, Rei had laid me down on the bed beside her, running her hand gently along my arm. I gasped into her kiss as she started to move away.
My arms wrapped more firmly around her, holding her as close to me as I dared; hopefully this would give me the chance to finish what I had been saying. My lips brushed against her collar bone.
"Rei." I started again. "I felt that I couldn't say this before, I didn't feel ready to drag you into the Venusian lifestyle... but I've decided."
I met her eyes again, trying my hardest not to get lost in their swirling depths. I needed to finished what I was trying to say.
"I would give up anything, everything, for you. I don't care anymore. I just... I just want you to know that I love you."
The smile that my words brought to Rei's face was nothing short of breathtaking. It brought me back to that first smile of hers that I had seen, that smile I thought was reserved only for Michiru. Rei wound her fingers into my hair, firmly bringing us back into contact. I let out a contented sigh as the world faded away.
REI
I lay awake, feeling comfort in the fact Minako was laying next to me contained firmly within a dream. I stared up at the ceiling, letting my finger tips gently stroke against her soft skin.
I turned my head to the side slightly, burying my face in her hair for a moment; simply revelling in the scent that lingered around her. The fresh somewhat flowery scent that mingled with a hint of vanilla. I smiled, never feeling more relaxed in my life.
I could still feel the ache of what had happened yesterday but Minako, and, to some extent, Michiru, had eased that pain. Michiru had provided me the support that she always had, while Minako...
Minako had shown me so much more of what she was feeling. Even after her reassurances after I had killed that messenger the doubt had lingered with in me. I knew that this was a political marriage and I knew that Venusians were... much freer with their love than Martians.
I also knew some of what had been expected of Minako, to become the Goddess of Love meant turning away from singular bond we shared in favour of a more complete love of the world. She still would have loved me, possibly in ways that she didn't currently, but it wouldn't be as true, as singular, as what I felt now.
Minako was willing to give up godhood for me. She was willing to renounce the title she had been granted by merit of her birth... all for me. I never would have asked her for such a thing, I was accustomed to taking only what people offered to me. The fact that she was offering this for someone like me... it was fairly close to bringing me to tears.
I brought myself closer to her, bringing our skin fully into contact. I could ignore my pain... right now I just wanted to bathe in this afterglow.
MINAKO
I awoke to Rei kissing my shoulder blade gently.
"It's noon. I think we should get up." She told me softly, I heard rather than saw the smile that was apparent on her face. "We'll have work to do."
"How long have you been up?" I asked her, stretching as I sat up. I brought the sheet with me, feeling, for perhaps the first time, a sense of modesty about my body.
"Only for a few hours." She replied, her voice was soft and I could hear the contentment in it. I rolled over, bringing myself face to face with her.
"Only a few hours?" I asked, letting a softly teasing tone into my voice. "Earlier you were getting testy about the fact I gave up sleep over you... now you're doing the same thing?"
Rei bent down a bit, kissing me; I raised my hand up to the mark again.
"I couldn't resist." She told me after parting, bringing a hand up to cover mine. I simply let my eyes travel over her form in a way I hadn't since we had started sharing a room.
It was the first time I truly let myself focus on the scars that laced her body. Each one held a story that I wasn't sure I'd ever hear. A puckered wound on one thigh. Evidence of an old tear through her upper arm, another, fresh and stitched up, on her other. A star of discolouration underneath her collarbone, practically through her shoulder. I brushed my fingers along the old jagged injury just above her hip bone. I could tell Rei's focus had been drawn down to what I was doing.
"What happened?" I asked softly, she gave a bit of a laugh. I couldn't decipher the emotion behind it.
"I got hurt, the same as usual." I nodded, knowing not to push any further than that. I brought my face close to hers, nuzzling softly against the scar her father had placed on her cheek.
"Try to avoid 'the usual' from now on, okay?" I prompted, listening to Rei give another soft chuckle.
"If you insist." She told me, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. Her voice wasn't guarded or even deflecting... it had the same teasing undertone to it that mine had. "Now we really should get up, I have the feeling that lazing the day away in bed with draw significant teasing from our... friends."
I caught the slight hesitation in her voice over that word, but again I didn't push. Right now I was just happy she was accepting my presence and comfort, I could worry about helping her adjust to everything else later on.
Once she was facing away from me I couldn't help but stare at her, her back and shoulders were wrapped in scars. I'd felt them before but this was my first time ever actually making a point of looking at them. They wound around one another, crisscrossing her skin in an intricate pattern of pain and heart ache.
I wrapped my arms around Rei once more, pressing my front to her back as I kissed her cheek one last time. I hoped she understood everything that I was feeling. I didn't know how else to bring it up. I didn't want to see any more of these marks appear on her.
I released her, allowing her to stand up and begin getting dressed. I slipped out from under the covers to do the same.
HARUKA
Michiru, Makoto, and I all shared a look as Rei and Minako entered the common room, only Ami remained oblivious to our shared humour. And I'd wager that was only because she was wrapped up in another book.
"Don't start." Minako told me with a scowl, Rei had hardly acknowledged us; choosing instead to lean over the back of Ami's chair to see what she was reading. I caught Minako's eye, feeling a cheerful, distracting air settle over the room. I had the feeling I knew what she was doing. She was trying to ease herself and Rei into this without...undue embarrassment.
"That one again?" Rei asked, startling Ami out of her trance. "How much more do you think you can learn from one book on Martian culture?"
I glanced at Michiru, we were both surprised to see Rei in such good spirits after yesterday... perhaps we should avoid the teasing for now, I didn't want to see Rei lose this mood. Ami whacked Rei's arm with the book. I immediately got the feeling that Minako's powers were directed at more people than just Rei. She was elevating the mood in the room to diffuse any hardship... on anyone's part.
"I hate it when you do that!" Ami exclaimed. Rei laughed softly, letting a smile tug at her mouth. Ami shook her head. "And what else am I supposed to do when you won't drag your ass out of bed to answer my questions?"
I glanced at Minako again, there was a smile on her face that mirrored Michiru's. I did my best to scowl at the two of them, they were probably in this together. Rei walked around the couch, resting against one of the arms.
"Hey..." Rei warned, her tone going dark; before we noticed the faint spark in her eyes. "Wasn't my fault the commander slept in."
"Wear her out last night did you?" I couldn't help but ask, laughter heavy in my voice. Michiru slapped her hand across the back of my head, tossing hair in my eyes. Makoto let out a chuckle at that.
"What can I say? Having two women in my bed was an inspiring way to start the evening." Rei replied, her eyes meeting mine with a bit of a glimmer; her voice was a bit taunting. Michiru turned to glare at her instead of me. Between Rei and I, I had the feeling we could turn this whole thing back around on them.
"Glad to see you have a sense of humour about the whole thing." I grumbled, not necessarily liking what she was implying. Also... I hadn't ever realized that Rei could, well, do that; you know, act like a normal human being.
I was so used to seeing her torn apart by her emotions that I completely forgot that this ever could have existed in her. I always knew Michiru had seen something in her other than her fierce protectiveness, loyalty, and devotion, I just hadn't realized that it would be something like this.
This gentle playfulness lent an air of relaxation to those around her... and I knew this time that wasn't Minako's doing. It was our relief at seeing that Rei was alright, that she was coping to some degree. Michiru stood up, stepping forward to wrap Rei in a tight hug.
"It's good to see you back." She whispered. I caught Rei's look in Minako's direction.
"I'm fair certain I'm not the one who should get all the credit for that." She commented, Minako at least had the decency to look slightly ashamed at being caught. The mood dimmed somewhat... but not entirely. Rei tightened her arms around Michiru for the briefest of seconds before she let go.
Rei sat down on the seat next to Ami, Minako choosing to settling in on her lap. I could tell there was more to it that Minako was letting on. She was probably choosing to narrow her positive emotions on to Rei, trying to keep her mood level while we talked about what was coming. Rei let a hand come to rest on Minako's leg, looking over towards Ami.
"You said you had questions?"
"I was just trying to do some more research on Martian battle tactics." Ami told her. "Your brother has offered to lead the forces of the Lunar Empire in the upcoming battle."
I watched as Makoto's expression darkened.
"The High Queen wanted you to do it, Rei." Makoto explained. "I told her that wasn't fucking happening."
This time it was Ami who rolled her eyes.
"And I had to smooth things over after that." Ami added. "With Prometheus's help we've set up a plan that should keep the six of us together, as much as possible anyway."
I looked over at Minako.
"See? I told you that the two of them average out to you. Fiercely protective of that one." I jerked my head in Rei's direction. "And yet still so diplomatic."
"Very intelligent Haruka, thank you for that insight." Minako commented drily. I grinned, I'd never been able to keep myself from teasing her.
"What's the situation looking like?" Rei asked, her attention hadn't moved from Ami even though she had let the rest of us talk without interrupting.
"We'll have another day, well, half a day before our attack is ready. We've already had word of Beryl's forces beginning to amass to the north-east again. It looks like they're assembling the entire Terran army... if not all of Earth." Ami explained, looking a bit grim. "Your brother hopes to hit them before they're fully established, but gathering our own forces is going to take time."
"And what does he think about our chances?" Rei questioned, her gaze clearly conveying that she was getting down to business now. I turned my attention back to Minako, her eyes were closed in concentration. I was beginning to feel the faintest prodding at my emotions. A calm soothing sensation that was nothing like the earlier cheerfulness. Ami looked to Rei with a smile on her face.
"He's optimistic. He thinks that with the right precautions and tactics we can win this."
Rei nodded.
"I should go speak with him." Was all she said. I caught the brief look of panic on Michiru's face, she had also caught on to what Minako was doing with Rei. Rei probably knew too but that wouldn't stop her from leaving the sanctuary of Minako's presence... not when there was a job to do. She needed to be convinced that she could take a few hours and just relax. I could see she still hurt over the earlier fights but physically and mentally... and I also knew there wasn't much that could keep her from doing what she thought needed to be done.
Ami and Makoto shared a look, getting the feeling that it was probably time for them to duck out of this conversation.
"Well, Haruka, I think it's about time for me to go check in on how the refugees are doing." Makoto said, clapping a hand against my shoulder. "Anything you want me to check in on?"
I shook my head, watching as Ami rose off the couch beside Minako.
"I should probably go with her. There were some irregularities with the census data we collected after the Neptunian ships landed... and we still haven't finished with the Martians."
Rei flicked her eyes to them.
"You'll want to talk to Prometheus about that. He'll have rosters and lists of draftees in the Martian army. You're well versed in Martian, deciphering those shouldn't be a problem for you." Rei told her. She had obviously also caught on to the fact that they were giving us space. She wasn't calling them out on it though, if anything she was helping them with it. Ami laid her hand on Rei's arm for a split second before leaving the room, Makoto was hot on her trail.
Silence set in between the four of us. Michiru and Minako were having what looked to be a silent conversation, Minako's eyes flicked to me before she nodded. Michiru looked over to me as Minako stood up, kissing Rei's forehead. The look in Michiru's eyes told me that she wanted me to talk to Rei about this. I hesitated, not entirely sure what she wanted me to say to her.
"I should go check in with my mother, I haven't been entirely brought up to speed yet." Michiru said as she got up, I could hear Minako vaguely commenting that she should probably accompany Michiru. The moment Michiru's back was to Rei she met my eyes. "You told me last night that you wanted to talk to Rei. I think you should do it."
And with that the door was shutting behind them. I looked over at Rei, still a bit shocked over their abruptness.
"Well that was smoothly done. Didn't notice anything out of the ordinary there..." Rei commented sarcastically, annoyance clear in her voice. She looked at me, her eyes focused and searching. "Do you have any idea what in the nine hells that was about?"
"They're worried about you." I said, watching as Rei got to her feet and moved to the window. She had obviously gotten the message that Michiru and Minako wanted her to stay and talk to me but she wasn't feeling inclined to stay seated for a civilized conversation. I got to my feet too, moving around to the back of the couch; leaning against it trying to stay out of Rei's personal space while showing her that she wasn't going to put me off this easily.
Rei looked over at me, her eyes were dark and cloudy.
"Of course they are. Why worry about themselves when they can waste time worrying after me?" She replied, I couldn't tell what was in her voice. "So are you my keeper now?"
Her voice wasn't hard or angry, she just sounded tired and concerned. She shook her head, her eyes falling away from mine.
"You have to be as worried about them as I am." She commented, looking out the window across the courtyard. I nodded.
"So incredibly worried." I agreed. "I mean I know what they can do... all of them, I've seen it. Together they sunk the Isle of Atlas with no more strain that it would take me to stir up the north wind. Makoto, when she comes to terms with what needs doing, she'll be a force to be reckoned with. Ami has more intelligence and forethought than I can even comprehend and I know that Minako has far more talent than she lets on. She has taken on this leadership role far more easily than I expected her to. And Michiru..."
I looked over at Rei.
"And Michiru had you to show her the way. She told me something of your childhood together, the things you did for her. The things you taught her. All of that is going to bring her through this alive."
I took a deep breath, preparing to talk to Rei what I had brought up the night before with Michiru.
"I don't know if I've thanked you yet... for everything you've done for me and my people. I hardly know how to express the gratitude I feel -" I told her, meeting her eyes and in them I saw Michiru; I amended my statement. "We feel for what you've done."
I swallowed roughly
"You've cared for us, protected us, even if we, even if I, didn't understand what you were doing at the time. Rei, thank you..."
My voice became choked with emotion for a moment, I felt the need to approach Rei a bit more. I laid a hand on her shoulder, finding myself searching her gaze just as intently as she was studying me.
"Thank you for letting her go. I'm not sure who she would have chosen had you decided to fight for her." I nodded, seeing the look of understanding in her eyes. "You're hers as much as she is yours. And I love you for that. There is no one else in this universe trust more."
And with that I brought my other hand back up against the back of her neck in an almost hug. I could tell she reserved that show of affection for a very select few but I still needed to convey my absolute trust and gratitude in something other than words. I meant this, more than anything.
Rei gave a rough swallow then nodded and I removed my hands from her.
"I just want you to understand that." I finished lamely, bringing a smile to her face again.
"Understood." She replied, raising an eyebrow; a glint was back in her eyes. I had the feeling she wouldn't let me forget this... no matter how long we lived. "Still didn't answer my question though. What the hell were they on about?"
I laughed, realizing she was diffusing the awkwardness that was starting to build in the room. I leaned back against couch again, getting comfortable.
"The women we love, eh?" I asked, letting the fondness and slight irritation I felt into my tone. Rei gave me another one of her steady smiles.
"Yeah..."
REI
I stood in the common room with Haruka, just staring out the window at the court yard in silence. I still wasn't entirely sure what the point of that conversation had been or why Minako and Michiru had left us alone to have it. On their own they each confused me but together, they were completely baffling.
I sighed, I was still feeling edgy, caged; I felt like I should be throwing myself into work of some kind. I was well aware that it was one of my coping mechanisms, I would let myself become consumed with what ever was in front of me so I didn't have to think about what was behind.
Perhaps that was what Minako and Michiru had wanted me to avoid. I wasn't entirely certain how to stop myself from burying myself in the preparations for war... I was so used to being on my own during times like this.
I looked over at Haruka as she came to stand beside me.
"Well, I'm officially bored now. I thought they'd be back by now." Haruka commented. I nodded, not really sure what to say to that.
"What do you say we go to the practice yard and kill some time?" She suggested. "You know, just to really annoy them."
"I was under the impression you were supposed to be distracting me from doing something like that..." I replied.
"Maybe but I've never really been to good at following the plan or staying out of trouble. Plus I think the idea was for them to give you some space while not leaving you alone. And you sparring with me, covers all the criteria. They'll probably yell at them. You get to beat the crap out of me. And you're not alone. Sounds like a good idea to me."
I couldn't help but let out a small laugh.
"Your funeral." I muttered, following her to the door.
MAKOTO
Ami and I were only just returning from the refugee camps that had been established when we came across Haruka and Rei in the practice yard. So much had changed between the last time I'd seen them spar. There was none of the anger or aggression, there was just them letting off steam. I looked over to Ami with a bit of a smile.
"I thought Michiru and Minako weren't going to let Rei out of their sight." I commented, walking towards them.
"Perhaps they realized that she needed some space, that's the conclusion we came to." She said.
"Yeah... but leaving her with Haruka? Can't really understand their thinking on that one." I remarked. Ami laughed.
"It does seem like they're enjoying themselves though." She murmured as we finally reached the two of them, watching intently as Rei neatly tossed Haruka over her shoulder letting her meet the ground as gently as possible.
"Fine, I yield. You win." Haruka groaned as Rei offered her a hand up. "You are the undefeated champion of hand to hand... despite the fact you're a dirty rotten cheater."
"Oh, well then... It looks like we have two fully capable referees now. You sure you don't want to go for best out of thirteen?" Rei asked, a relaxed taunting smile in place. Haruka grumbled at bit as she got up. It seemed like they'd developed a sense of camaraderie... even if it appeared to be slightly abrasive.
"Don't be a smart ass." Haruka muttered, Rei shook her head. The smile stayed in place as she turned her attention to us.
"How'd the visit go?" Rei asked, leaning against the boundary fence. "Did Prometheus help at all?"
"He provided us with an extensive list of the Martian survivors, he even gave us a schematic of their camp that listed who was staying where. It made the entire process extremely simple."
"Well, that's Mars for you. They like knowing where all their assets are situated." Rei commented, I could detect the faintest hint of emotion in her voice but I couldn't tell if it was amusement or something else. Whatever it was, Rei pushed it aside. "How are the Neptunians faring?"
"Very well actually. The Uranians and Neptunians have established a cohesive settlement of sorts. They're cooperating with one another and providing basic necessities and comforts to all those around them."
Rei glanced at Haruka, who was looking a bit relieved.
"Probably yours and Michiru's doing. I imagine they're looking at the two of you and realizing that they'll be one with each other some day, they won't simply be two separate nations any more. They'll be united through the Royal bloodlines, through the two of you." Rei said. Haruka nodded
"Couldn't really ask for anything else. The coming years will be hard on them, it's not like we have planets to return to at the moment." Haruka agreed, not sounding as defeated as I expected her to. If anything she seemed a bit hopeful. Rei rested a hand on her shoulder for a moment.
"Is there a back up plan to have them evacuate if things don't go our way tomorrow?" Rei asked. "Any sort of contingency plan whatsoever?"
At this Ami sighed.
"Honestly? No. If this stand on the Moon doesn't go our way... We don't expect anything, or anyone to be left." She paused. "Except for those who aren't on the Moon. Perhaps the Terrans will spare the lives of the inhabitants of the other planets. We're sending a few shuttles of civilians to Venus, Mercury, and Jupiter but... not many people are willing to leave unless everyone is able to go. They're sticking together."
"They'd rather have it end with us united and together than alone on a strange planet, not knowing who's safe. It's understandable. Very Martian actually. If we stand together, we will not die alone." Rei said lowly. This time I could tell there was nothing sad in her tone. I was beginning to see the lingering bits of Martian ideology in Rei... and it was what made her so incredibly human.
"Well. I think I have a contingency plan." Haruka commented, Rei looked at her... looking like she knew what Haruka was going to say.
"Yeah?" I asked warily, knowing that something was up.
"Yeah. Don't fucking lose." She said, a dark humour in her voice. Rei rolled her eyes.
"I think you might need to avoid the company of Martians for a bit there Haruka..." She muttered, amusement tinging her tone. "You're starting to sound like Prometheus."
"Those are fighting words Martian." Haruka joked, looking like she actually was taking Rei's words as a compliment.
"Bring it on." Rei said, stepping back into the ring. I vaulted over the barrier, wanting to vent a little as well. Ami leaned against the fence in the manner that Rei had done. She seemed content to just watch.
"What do you think Makoto, can we take her?" Haruka asked me with a smile. I thought about it for a moment before deciding to admit the truth.
"Probably not." I told her, Haruka laughed.
"Ah well, it's the effort that counts." She agreed with a shrug, raising her fists into a boxers stance. I dropped low, preparing to engage Rei in hand to hand. For some reason Haruka's comment brought another smirk to Rei's face.
"I hope that philosophy doesn't apply to your approach to intimacy. Otherwise I feel sorry for Michiru." She taunted, only just managing to duck under the fist Haruka sent towards her face.
"That was low Rei." I laughed as I stepped in to help Haruka, who had ended up face first in the dirt again.
MICHIRU
Minako and I exchanged a look as we approached the others, feeling slightly concerned over the fact that both Haruka and Makoto were teaming up at Rei. I was about to jump in and put an end to their fighting when Minako grasped my arm.
"She's relaxed." She told me, looking at Rei. "And it's not in that 'drown herself in physical activity until she's too tired to feel' way. She actually seems... at peace."
I paused, taking a moment to really look at what was going on. Rei's body wasn't tense as it usually was in combat. Every so often a small flicker of enjoyment was evident. A memory stirred from somewhere deep inside me.
When I was younger I had watched Phobos and Deimos sparring with Rei when she was healthy enough to do so. The expressions they wore back then was the same one that graced Rei's features now. A bit indulgent even as they defeated Rei again and again. Back then Rei had risen each time with determination and that same relaxation she had about her now. She was comfortable enough to just enjoy their presence and not think about anything else. Sure, she was still losing herself in physical activity but it wasn't in that destructive manner that I had grown used to seeing over the later years. She was using it to unwind, rather than just to distract herself from her pain and turmoil.
"Even so." I began, looking back to Minako with a smile. "This wasn't exactly what we wanted when we left Haruka and Rei together."
"I'm honestly surprised we didn't expect this earlier." Minako replied as she joined Ami at the boundary fence, she glanced at me as I leaned my elbows against the fence next to her. "Do you think we should step in and stop them from being idiots?"
"No. I'd much rather wait here until they notice our presence." I told her, Minako looked questioning. "Haruka will give us a guilty look, thinking she's been caught doing something she shouldn't."
Minako and Ami laughed. I met Ami's eyes.
"How long have they been at this?"
"Its been an hour or so since Makoto joined them and before that it sounded like Rei had beaten Haruka in hand to hand five times in a row. So maybe three or four hours?" Ami replied, sounding like she was only just considering this now. "And it looks like Rei was attempting to teach Haruka how to properly use a bow earlier."
I glanced at the archery range just down the field. Rei's bow and quiver was leaned against one of the benches. I honestly couldn't imagine Rei making much progress with Haruka on that front.
"So we probably should stop them before they wear themselves out. They're going to need their strength for tomorrow." Minako murmured, watching as Rei swept Makoto's legs out from under her with a kick. Haruka immediately jumped on the opportunity, taking advantage of Rei's position and tackling her to the ground.
"Okay. You two got me." Rei said with a chuckle, Haruka released her with a tired sigh and flopped down on to the ground. Makoto hadn't gotten up from where Rei had landed her, she was breathing heavily. "Took you long enough."
"Shut it, Rei." Makoto sighed, her voice both weary and relieved. Rei got back to her feet, stretching a bit. Ami looked at me.
"Rei spent the better part of the last hour tossing them to the ground and dodging their attacks. She never went on the offensive and it annoyed those two to no end."
I laughed, that was fairly typical of Rei. She had done the same to me what we had trained together. It used to make me so mad before I realized she was teaching me to keep my head during a fight. Eventually it got to the point that she started taking the offensive, forcing me to adapt. She had known that I had other tutors to show me how to defend myself but she had been trying to teach me about more than just the physical encounter.
The sound of my laughter caused Haruka to sit up, instantly she gave me a grin. I could see the hint of guilt and panic at being caught. She jerked her thumb at Rei.
"It was her idea." She said, I shook my head. I knew her well enough that if Rei and Haruka ever got into trouble together it would have been Haruka who started it.
"Liar." Makoto muttered as Rei gave her a hand up.
"Traitor." Haruka grumbled.
"I'm not knowingly going to pick the losing team again Haruka." Makoto replied. "You're obviously out matched here."
Rei reached out, pulling Haruka to her feet as well.
"I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to run. I could even provide you with a bit of a head start if you like. Just... don't go past the fountain." Rei told her, knowing from experience that I wasn't above soaking her to the bone. Haruka laughed, not taking her up on her offer; instead approaching me and giving me a kiss.
"I'm sorry. We got bored." Haruka admitted.
"Of course you did. Gods forbid you two actually have an intelligent conversation." I told her, kissing her back but not before giving a roll of my eyes. Haruka hopped the fence, slinging an arm around my shoulders.
"Your ex took way too much pleasure in beating me." She whispered, I smiled; turning my attention to Minako and Rei. Rei was seated on the fence, her head leaning towards Minako's as they had a quiet conversation of some sort. I nudged Haruka as Minako threaded her arms around Rei's neck, giving her a hug. Rei's hand came to rest on Minako's back.
The sense of ease around them now tipped me off to what had probably happened the night before. I smiled as Haruka pressed her lips against my neck.
"Come on. I need a shower and maybe some ice for these bruises." Haruka said, her voice not exactly conveying that she was actually concerned about the state of her body. I got the feeling she was thinking more along the lines that this could very well be our last night together. And she wanted some privacy from the others.
I nodded, knowing that we should still say goodnight to the others at least, before retiring to our room early.
MAKOTO
I sat down next to Rei in the practice yard, she was polishing and restringing her bow; getting ready for the morning I'd imagine. The sun was settling low in the sky, this evidence of the passing of time was making me apprehensive. I let out a deep sigh drawing her attention to me. She set the bow aside for the moment.
"Yes?" She asked, I could hear the wariness and hesitation in her voice. I frowned, glaring at the ground, not entirely sure how I was supposed to go about this. Finally words came to me. I wasn't sure if they were appropriate or even polite but it was what I had.
"How did you do it?" I asked, looking over at her. "How did you... survive all of this?"
I needed to know, I couldn't see myself making in through this battle without knowing how she kept a grip on her sanity for this long. In the beginning I had seen her as a monster, a despicable creature, unworthy of basic human decency. That had changed.
When she had died, even before then when the extent of her injury and illness had been revealed, I had second thoughts. I had reconsidered my hatred and disdain where Rei was concerned. Before that... Ami had tried to explain things to me but it hadn't hit home until I realized the suffering Rei was going through.
The suffering she was putting herself through.
Rei looked over at me, her expression blank. I felt the need to continue, I didn't want to offend or hurt her. I covered my mouth, feeling sick at the very thought of what we were about to do.
"I can see now..." I had to break off my sentence in order to really convey what I was thinking. When I had collected the right words I started to speak again. Rei sat in silence, just letting me take this at my own pace. "That this isn't, and never has been, easy for you. The things I've seen you do..."
My voice broke slightly, I had to compose myself for a few moments before continuing.
"The strength and courage I've seen you show despite everything that you've been through. All those years and struggles you've put into warfare and mere survival... I need to know how you did it."
I met her eyes, searching with in them for some sign that she would offer me guidance or reassurance over what was to come. She looked away. I felt crushed.
"It was never about me." She told me, it was then I realized that her gaze had been drawn over to the others, where they were bidding each other goodnight. Minako. Ami. Michiru. Haruka. "It was always about them. I was indifferent about my own survival... until I took the time to realize what my death would mean to those around me."
"When I... gave up, I truly believed that my death would make this world a better place. Some days, most days, I still do... but I think about what that would do to Minako and Michiru... And Ami, and I just can't let it end." Rei said with a sigh.
I thought back on how devastated the three of them had been upon Rei's death, it was all Haruka and I could do to hold them together. Her death had just about shattered each of us in our own way. And hearing that it had been somewhat intentional on Rei's part made it all the harder for me.
I knew I was partially to blame in her death, we all were, but to hear it said like that was horrifying. The pains we had inflicted on her, though not physical, had yet to heal. And part of me wondered if they ever would.
"It's not about you or your life." She told me, looking back in my direction and meeting my eyes. "It's about those who care for you. If you care about them half as much as you say you do... or half as much as they care about you, you'll find the determination to go on. No matter what you have to do to keep breathing. I should know, I came back from the dead because of it."
She frowned.
"Just know that you'll hate yourself for it. For every minute of it. But sometimes, in those rare moments when you look at them and see that look in their eyes, it will all be worth it. Even if it's only for an instant." I could hear the lingering weight in her words and the undertone of regret over what had happened yesterday. But there was a note of hope there as well. "That's what let me survive all this time, knowing that maybe I might be able to make them happy... for even just a second."
I met her gaze, well aware of the fact my eyes were watering.
"So you're saying it's entirely possible for me to get through this?"
Rei gave me a smile, her sadness and emotion disappearing under a mask once more.
"That's exactly what I'm saying. Trust in Ami, trust in us, and you will make it through this. You won't be alone in this. None of us will be."
I nodded, not sure what exactly to say. She had offered me this comfort when all I had ever done was cause her pain. I nudged her arm lightly with my elbow, drawing her eyes back to mine.
"I'm sorry Rei." I told her, there was a flicker of emotion in her eyes. "And thank you. Maybe with you on our side we'll all be able to make it through what's coming."
Rei nodded, looking away from me again as she picked up her bow. Then she went to join the others briefly letting her hand rest against Michiru's back as they spoke. Then Haruka and Michiru were leaving, heading back to their rooms like they had so obviously wanted to do for the last quarter of an hour.
I sat there just collecting my thoughts and courage for what was coming. Tonight would be a long one... and tomorrow wouldn't be any easier.
AN: (Set up a twitter account in case anyone wants to follow me there - I'm mostly doing this to make myself aware of how long I'm taking on updates, reminds me of priorities. I'll be posting info on update progress and info about prequel/sequel. If interested just search my username it should come up.) Originally I was going to launch into the entire battle and have that resolved but... the characters had too much to say to each other. I figured that almost 10,000 words was long enough for one chapter and I should leave the rest of what I have planned for next time. I hope the last couple of chapters come let me know what you think about the chapter, all your thoughts are greatly appreciated. And definitely tell me if I had Rei resolve her issues too quickly. Also if you find any plot holes let me know.