Chapter 24 - Eric's POV
She closes her eyes and slows her breathing and heart rate to something so low I am scared she is going to fucking pass out from lack of it. I watch her face and sure enough it slowly starts losing that life I love now that I know just how much she has. She opens her eyes and I know what I am going to see but I fucking hate it. Her eyes are just so fucking emotionless when she does this.
I frown when she opens them again and there it is. Her emerald green eyes are devoid of the sparkle. She lets her eyes meet mine before they slide off me with not a hint of shit and moves to the ring.
She follows her friend frowning. I tear my gaze away because she does frown so it must be fucking strong to elicit that from her.
"Well damn when did that happen?" She says in the lifeless and cold tone. Her friend Hec and her friend Astrid look to be about to kiss and I frown. Does she want to be with him?
"When what happened?" I ask a little more angrily than I meant to.
"A boy I see as a one of my brother's and the girl that is my sister, I think they may be in love. And I bet they think I would be upset by it. No I am sure of it, the idiots. I suck as a friend. It had to have been going on for a while now. At least a month since that is when I basically checked out on doing anything beyond training." She is still frowning and I hear the frustration.
"Why wouldn't they want to tell you if you only see him as a brother?" Does she really see him as a brother? Because I can't think why she would be that upset for it to be breaking through. Damn now that she is done with Shane would she go for Hec? Why wouldn't she go for a close fucking friend over me.
She looks at me and shakes her head. "Peter and Astrid had been heading there. I am glad it never happened and I have said that too her. They might be irrationally thinking I want that still. I don't want her anywhere near him and I had tried to push her out of my life completely to make sure he wouldn't have reason to come near her."
I internally sighed in relief. "So tell them now that you see it." I shrug and she gives me a slight amused smile but it doesn't reach her eyes or face and I fucking hate it especially now that I know what is behind all of this…absence.
"I plan on it."
"What kind of meditation do you do?" I huff in annoyance. "I have never seen anyone suppress their emotions to the point you do."
"I don't suppress them, they just aren't there. Nothing touches me in my void unless it is extremely strong. It isn't a meditation per se though there was research done on the theory behind it. It's kind of embarrassing….no not embarrassing." She tilted her head as if searching for the word and then shrugged. "I found a series of fantasy books when I was no more than 10 or 11. One of the main characters was a warrior but also had magic. He was an archer but it worked for his other skills like with his martial, sword and magic. You clear your mind enough to visualize a black square with a flame burning before it and feed everything into that flame. All your thoughts, emotions, fears…especially of pain and death go into the flame. Once you have done that you are in the void and nothing touches you. You would be amazed at the amount of pain you can withstand when in the void. That was how I fought through when Shane hurt me badly. I couldn't breathe and I knew something needed to happen so I gave it all up to the flame."
I fucking hate the reminder of that and I scowl and tense.
"It also helps focus so I notice things and can process information better and faster." Her eyes mark every movement Hec and Gale make as they enter and I know Hec's style. He is in the same ready position but it is off somehow.
"Something is different." I breathe out.
"It is. I made all my dauntless-born friends work on at least some new moves and new techniques but especially Hec and Scott. They are my brothers and I couldn't allow them to fail. If they fought another DB I wanted them to have that in their arsenal." My eyes snap to hers. How could she have heard that? "And no I wouldn't normally have heard that but it helps fine tune my senses."
I look back to the ring. I need to learn that if it helps with pain too. "Interesting, you might have to teach me this technique of yours."
"He isn't going to fall for it Hec. You just need to launch into it. There are too many openings for him to gain the upper hand now." She says lowly.
"Who comes up with the tactics for your fights?"
"I do but Four, Tris and Zeke give me input from time to time. Four and I worked on getting my new moves practiced and I even spar against him. But I ask them not to give me input on my opponents. It is part of the training to be able to determine that on my own and if I can't get it on my own I deserve to lose." She tenses and I see why when Hec changes to another form.
"Sorry Eric I won't be able to focus on you both." She doesn't even allow me to answer she just steps forward and away from me. I follow right behind her and stop beside her when she stops.
Hec took some hits but he decided it was time. Just like she was willing him to I think.
"Power punch with downward elbow." She mutters and I frown. Her eyes had been darting back from the two but at the last mutter she had stopped on Gale. I don't see any sign he is about to do just those moves until Gale does.
Fucking hell, I need to learn this shit for sure. Hec had predicted it and managed to sidestep it. He let Gales' strong downward elbow carry him straight into his knee hard enough to at least crack the nose good. Gale doesn't get knocked out but he does crash forward face first. Hec jumps on him pinning him before his body had time to settle to the ground and then strikes out three times to the head and Gale goes out.
She closes her eyes and I assume she is leaving that place she goes. But when she does she starts to fall almost so I wrap my hand around her arm to keep her up and wait to see that life in her eyes again.
She frowns then looks at my hand before looking at me and I want to sigh because there she is again. "Lost balance didn't I?"
I nod "Is it always like that when you come out of it."
She shakes her head and smiles at Hector and gives him a wink and thumbs up as he looks to her beaming. "No only when I go too deep into it and tune absolutely everything else out. Too dangerous to do that generally but I was limiting my focus to certain…parameters I guess you could say. " She looks at me smiling and I smile back relieved to have that again "The whole machine aspect I was talking about."
"And like I said I get it." I say as I grin and then debate telling her I am the one that got her design.
I don't get a chance and let go of her arm as Hec comes over to her.
Hec pulls her into a hug then let's go and turns to face the ring with her. "I know I complained during those extra training sessions but you were right."
She smirks at him "Of course I was." He elbows her and they laugh.
"Seriously though I know I bitched a lot. I know I called you a bitch and a bunch of other choice words and umm" he casts a look at me nervously and she bites her lip to suppress laughter "comparisons. You kicked our asses but it paid off. So thank you Sis." Ah I see, she is like me when training her friends. I will take that as a fucking compliment then.
He smiles at whatever she said but I didn't catch it clearly.
Hec turned serious after a bit of a laugh. "Raven we wanted to tell you. And nothing has happened other than just knowing we want more. But if you are uncomfortable with us seeing each other we won't."
She scowls at him "You are both fucking idiots you know that. Why would I be upset about you two, two of the very limited handful of people I give a shit about and who I ever let see the real me, caring for each other and wanting to get together? I swear to Gods though Hector if throw out his name I will put you through the gauntlet again. I want you both to be happy. End of story."
He smiles "So I can ask her out then?"
She rolls her eyes before she answers and I know it is going to be a smart ass remark. "I don't know can you? Are you physically capable? I mean you really do have bad game so."
He playfully pushes her as she looks to Astrid and winks then smiles.
She smiles a little mischievously. "Si usted debe preguntar a salir y pronto antes de que su tanto de sus hormonas sobrecargados causarle tanto a explotar antes de que puedas besar (Yes you should ask her out and soon before your both of your overloaded hormones cause you both to explode before you can even kiss.)
Damn even her kidding in spanish is sexy, everything about her is sexy really.
He laughs out loud "Eres uno para hablar. ¿Cuánta experiencia tiene de nuevo? Oh, espera que sea adecuado prácticamente cero (You are one to talk. How much experience do you have again? Oh wait that is right practically zero)" Seriously? Shane is really a fuck up then. Not that I am going to fucking complain at all.
She turns and scowls at him. "No es cero, pero sólo he estado con una persona y yo no podía joder ... No me hable de esto con usted.( It isn't zero but I have only been with the one person and I just couldn't...dammit I am not talking about this with you)." She stamps her foot and crosses her arm and turns away from in fucking adorable way. And I want to know what else she was going to say.
Hector chuckles "Hey," He pokes her side apologizing "I was teasing. I wouldn't blame you. I sure wouldn't be all eager if I had been with Shane either." Agree there she could do so much better.
She laughs a little bit. "Seriously may be why I felt some relief when it was over. I feel sorry for the girls around here who might be conned into stepping into the bedroom with him." My lips twitch and lick my lips thinking of the things I would love to show her I could do.
Hector looks between her and me and I raise my eyebrow at him. "Do you mind if I steal Astrid tonight then?"
She shakes her head and smiles. "I have an appointment with a tattoo gun and probably Bud for some piercings. Fights are over and that was the only thing holding me up on that. And I have been wanting to finally get that one tattoo finished. So please by all means take my Sister out and have fun."
She shakes her head as Hec heads back over to Astrid smiling from ear to ear. "Idiots." She mutters.
Lauren calls me over and I frown and before I head over to Lauren, Four and Tris I let my hand find her arm and brush it one more time.
"What?" I ask annoyed as I watch Astrid and Raven hug and start talking.
Four glares at me and Tris sighs elbowing him. He huffs. "Shane is starting some shit in the infirmary. If it comes to it would you sign off on Raven staying with us or Shauna tonight or the rest of the off days instead of the dorm? Mar isn't sure if he is going to be released but we need to have a plan.
I nod with my forehead furrowed. Why did they need me for this shit? "Tris can sign off on it even though she hasn't gotten her tatts yet but she is close enough that I don't need to authorize every decision. I agree that is good plan though. Do we know what he is doing?"
Tris frown and shakes her head. "Nothing than just being a pain right now. Mar wants to see about keeping him as long as possible though, so we will know more in the next hour at least."
I sigh and nod thinking they just wanted to bring me away from Raven. We do talk about what scoring we are thinking for each of the fights so far.
"I was thinking of maybe applying more points for the initiates that showed initiative to learn news techniques but then execute them in the best possible way. Hec showed good use of his new technique by trying to lure Gale into something to exploit, that didn't work out but he did capitalize on the opportunity he was presented and he predicted the right move to do it on." I discuss with the others.
Four looks surprised and I roll my eyes. "Despite what you fucking thing Four I do want them to do well. They should be rewarded for putting in the extra fucking effort and winning because of it."
Tris smirks as Lauren nods. Four sighs "I think that is a fair point Eric. Thank you. Unfortunately not more of them did put more effort in. Raven made it a point to offer it to more than just her close friends but they weren't willing. Hell she even offered it to the kid Jason more out of just sheer frustration at his lack of doing anything different."
I grunt shaking my head. "It is just hurting him then. On the same token that we add points we should also take them away if they had the opportunity and didn't take it."
Tris frowns but then nods. "I can agree with that especially for the Jason's. He hasn't showed any improvement even from sparring."
We all agree with that and out of the corner of my eye I see Raven throw her hands up in the air looking frustrated at the new match and I don't blame her.
She isn't out of sight long before we hear the loudest fucking whoop then a shouted "Fuck!" and laughter.
Four groans "That cannot be fucking good! What the fuck did she do."
Tris and Lauren hide behind their hands and laugh. I smile and chuckle. "I'll go see what she is doing. She just might do it again just to spite you Four if you go."
Tris snorts "Fucking A she would."
I turn to make my way down to her and see her backing up and assume a sprinting stance…pointed at the wall. I stop and look trying to figure out what the fuck she is about to do when she breaks out into the fastest sprint right at the fucking wall.
She leaps forward onto the wall but then fucking runs UP it until she gets pretty high and slams both feet into it pushing off and doing a backflip. She lands on her feet but becomes unbalanced enough to land on her ass. Which had to fucking hurt. She doesn't stop though. Instead she lets the movement carry her to her back and rolls out of it and pops to her feet. Her chest is heaving and leaves me turned on watching that alone. She has a smile of pure enjoyment on her face.
"Fuck that was fun! Why didn't I try that sooner? I saw that guy it do it ages ago in The Pit" She yells in her excitement then she starts to pace still grinning and I move closer to her back. "Got up higher that time but something is off."
I can practically see her brain working. "Maybe too much power? But I need the power for the wall to get up it." She stops and looks at the wall again and I look to see her friend is about to be going next and as much as I fucking want to see her do it again I know she won't want to miss that match. "Screw it, I won't know if it will work until I do it.
"Can it wait? Because I would like to see you do it again but I think you want to watch your friend fight." I say from beside her smiling.
Her eyes go wide and she startles slightly but still grins at me and I see her eyes shining with the adrenaline she must be feeling. Makes me remember her face when she snuck back up onto The Hancock to zip-line after she had already gone. I had gone there to take a turn but when I heard someone I hid and watched her set herself back up and her whoop of laughter then too. "Oh shit…yeah sorry." She turns to look at me as we both walk back to the ring.
"I couldn't keep my body still anymore and they were just pussy footing around so I had to do something that wasn't considered training or Four would go all Fourzilla on me." I choke on laughter and look at her. Did she really call him that?
"Good Gods where have you been Raven? Fourzilla really?" I have been thinking that from the moment I saw her on stage and today I am still asking it but even more. Where was this girl my whole life and what will it take to make sure she never leaves it again? I smile at her and she giggles. She bites her lip looking at me.
"Ok I need a sounding board. I was pushing off from the wall too hard I think. The force might be too much for my landing to maintain being upright. The rolling from the landing on my ass helps get me up, but it doesn't exactly feel great to land on concrete on my butt no less. So I think I might need to adjust my footing for when I land; maybe one foot in front of the other for better stability? What do you think?" She asks as she uses her hands to punctuate things and I wonder was this what she looked like when she came up with stabilizing serum and what picking her brain would be like.
I visualized what I saw and nodded. "Both are good theories but it would make sense to widen your stance on landing. You might not want to pull back too much on the power of the push off though."
She nods once firmly still grinning. "Excellent I will try that on the next time." She sighs when she sees Four telling her by some signal with his eyes to get over to him now. "I see I am being summoned by Fourzilla." She says softly and smiles playfully at me.
My lips twitch and I put my hand on her back to guide her over there. "I assume you will be going into that same state to watch Scott and Arnie?"
She nods "Yeah I am not as worried about this one but Arnie was Erudite. We are born to be sneaky little shits so I know we haven't seen everything he has. Scott has him in raw power as far as muscles but that can be negated easily." She is not wrong there on either account, but Erudite really are sneaky shits. It is part of the corruption that I think has invaded Erudite, and it will be its downfall.
We come up to the others and Four is glaring at her and I. I don't think anything of my hand still being on her back I just keep it there without really knowing.
"Thought I said…" Four growls.
She holds a hand up to him "I wasn't training I can promise you that. I was just having a bit of fun, you know that thing you know nothing about." She says cheekily and Four glares at me and grips her arm hard and pulls her away from me forcefully.
Tris hisses at him before I can even do anything "Let her go Four and remember where we are. Go make sure James is taken to the infirmary." Four must realize he fucked up because he lightly squeezes her arm and she sighs.
"You told me to have fun so it's your own fault." She gives him a small smile and he nods and walks away. I want to kill him just for fucking taking her smile of enjoyment away.
Tris lets out a breath and frowns at his back as he walks away. She nudges Raven "Scott is coming up. After that I am going to head out and do some paperwork, but I can drop you off at the dorm to shower and change and then we can head to the parlor."
She turns her back to the ring and faces us her smile coming back and her dimples showing. "That sounds like the best news in the world. I am surprised Fourzilla isn't demanding to post sentries at the doors to make sure I don't try and escape."
Tris giggles "He so fucking hates that name. Which is why I love using it. You are a terrible influence Raven." Tris smiles and my lips twitch because whatever she is it isn't a bad thing to loosen Tris up and even Four is a bit different. Although he is fucking ridiculous about Raven and that is going to be a problem sooner or later whether she is with me or someone else.
Tris sighs "He is making Zeke stay there until I get back from doing paperwork but only because we don't know if the infirmary will be releasing him or not. Mar doesn't want to let him leave but at the same time she thinks if she has to listen to him anymore she might kill him."
She turns back to the ring and frowns "He demanding to see me?"
Tris gives a bit of a growl as her answer. "Not being very nice about it either." My eyes go hard and I decide that I will be paying a fucking visit to Shane as soon as Four gets back.
Raven just nods and I see her entering into that void she goes too, or her detached state whatever it is.
We all see Four returning and is clearly very pissed about something…and I can just bet what. "Looks like you guys have control here. I have something…to take care of." I give Raven one more look but then walk away and head directly to the infirmary. While I am heading there I message Max and ask him to request the records for Shane and the medical files for Raven and his visit from the official channels or pull in a favor and tell him the new update in what happened a few years ago.