Iruka sighed in exasperation. Who would have thought that shopping with Kakashi would be so hard? Add that to dragging around a three-year-old and a baby, and he was almost ready to drop the mission.
"Kakashi," Iruka almost hissed the name. "We cannot buy your porn while grocery shopping."
Kakashi pouted behind his mask, putting the book back down. "But, why not?"
"Because, we have two children with us, and one is an Uchiha genius. Second lesson: don't leave your porn around for Itachi to read. He's three years old! He does not need to know about that yet!" Iruka said, grabbing some vegetables and dropping them in the cart, then leaning over and extracting a pack of candy from the mess. He stopped to glare at Kakashi.
"What?" the gray-haired ninja asked innocently, even though there was nothing innocent about him.
"You know what!" Iruka said. "Really, Kakashi? You can't get candy either. One, it's not healthy for you, and two, Itachi can't have sugar, because the one time he did…" he trailed off, shuddering violently. "I don't want to think about it."
"But I want candy!" Kakashi whined.
Iruka raised an eyebrow, moving the cart over to check out. "You are a grown man, Kakashi. I'm sure you can live without your precious candy."
Iruka paid the amount needed for the groceries—Kakashi claimed that he had forgotten his wallet at home—and made sure he had all three of them—Kakashi acted enough like a kid to be counted as one.
"Kakashi, where's your apartment?" Iruka asked when he realized that he didn't know where he was going.
"Hmm?" Kakashi hummed, not looking up from his book—porn of course. "Oh, we passed it a block ago."
"And you decided not to tell me this, why?" Iruka hissed through clenched teeth.
Kakashi shrugged. "I forgot."
Iruka gritted his teeth and allowed the older ninja to lead the way back to his apartment.
Kakashi opened the door and slipped off his sandals, stretching out on the couch after setting Sasuke on the floor. Itachi watched his younger brother with amused eyes; and really, it was kind of funny, watching Sasuke crawl around the room curiously. Babies and toddlers just had that affect on someone.
"Kakashi," Iruka called from the kitchen. "Where is all of your food?"
"I didn't have any. That's why we went shopping, remember?" Kakashi called back.
"What were you eating before now?" Iruka asked, appearing in the kitchen doorway. "Were you eating?"
"Of course I was eating. Just not at home." Kakashi answered, turning on the TV. Iruka held back another hiss, what seemed like the millionth that day, and went back to unpacking the groceries. He would get back at Kakashi, just not today.
/\/\
Itachi watched the masked man - Kakashi, he thought his name was - place Sasuke on the floor carefully. Where were Mommy and Daddy? Why were they with this strange man?
Sasuke cooed happily as he was given his teddy bear. Kakashi stepped back and collapsed on the couch wearily. Itachi knew the man wasn't getting much sleep the past couple weeks, what with Sasuke keeping him up all night, and the other scarred one - Iruka, he thought- tried to let him get as much sleep as possible when the brunette was over. But truthfully, he was probably only getting a couple hours of sleep every night.
Itachi saw Kakashi close his one eye, and heard the even breathing signaling the man was asleep. Itachi also saw that Sasuke was about to open his mouth and start crying, so he hurried forward, distracting his brother with some of his toys; the baby smiled again, and Itachi sighed in relief. Even though he was only three, he knew that getting such little sleep was bad for a person, even if it was a ninja.
Iruka walked in then, yawning and scratching his cheek. The brunette had fallen asleep in Kakashi's room, Sasuke having kept them both up well into the night. Itachi actually wanted to laugh at the two men's obvious failure at parenting so far; Mommy would have known what Sasuke had wanted the second he had started crying, and she would be getting more than two hours of sleep every night.
Iruka smiled at Itachi and Sasuke, then went into the kitchen to make some coffee. Itachi had had coffee once. Daddy had left it on the table, and Itachi, thinking it was chocolate milk, drank some.
He didn't like the bitter aftertaste it left in his mouth.
Sasuke giggled, a high-pitched sound, and Itachi dragged his attention back to his brother. He was laying on his back now, arms stretched out in the air, kicking his legs. Itachi smiled; his brother really was too cute.
Iruka appeared again, bending down and picking Sasuke up. "Time for your nap, little guy," he said softly so as not to wake Kakashi up.
Sasuke poked Iruka's cheek curiously as Iruka led him into Kakashi's room, and Itachi went into the kitchen. Iruka would get him some food when he got back.
Itachi pulled himself onto a chair and situated himself just as Iruka came back in.
"Are you hungry, Itachi?" Iruka asked. Itachi nodded. Iruka hunted through the fridge for a moment, then turned and set a plate of fruit in front of Itachi.
Itachi took a bite, chewing thoughtfully. "Iruka, where are Mommy and Daddy?" he asked quietly.
Iruka looked into his coffee for a long time before answering. "I-well, Mommy and Daddy had to go far away for a mission. They won't be back for a while," he finally said.
How do you tell a three-year-old their parents are dead? Iruka wondered sadly, closing his eyes and leaning back in his chair.
There was no way to tell him. It was virtually impossible.