"Half Blood Harry Potter"
By Loki Palmer
Author's Note: Harry Potter and all related characters belong to J.K. Rowling. Percy Jackson and all related demigods, with the exception of Loki, belong to Rick Riordan.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, guess who's back, back again! Loki's back, tell a friend!
[LOL. I couldn't resist the Eminem parody.]
I am back from NaNoWriMo 2015 – the insane challenge where writers worldwide try to write up a novel of at least 50,000 words over the course of November. The not so great news: I did not make it to 50,000 words by the end of November. The better news: I now have 42,608 words (according to the website) that I did not have before, and a start to an interesting novel, so how can I complain?
DZ2: Yes, it might be scary, but would you expect anything less of a son of the Underworld?
Sean Malloy-1: No, I haven't considered doing a Game of Thrones/Percy Jackson/Harry Potter crossover. The Game of Thrones universe itself is pretty complex, and though I did start a Game of Thrones/Harry Potter crossover, I'm strongly considering re-writing it.
Plumbknot57: Thanks for your support; I'm glad you enjoy my stories.
WhiteElfElder: I like to think of it as Loki doing Neville a favor.
Chapter 24
Neville looked back at Loki in shock. "I don't know what to say … she, along with her husband Rudolphus Lestrange and his brother Rabastan Lestrange, as well as Barty Crouch Jr. hurt my mother and my adoptive Father."
"Oh, Rudolphus and Rabastan? Goodness, I know I have their heads around here." He Summoned a box with their heads inside, much to Neville's additional shock.
"What were you thinking, Loki?"
"I made a promise to kill every last Death Eater I could find … and you know that I keep my promises and pay my debts."
"We didn't see the slaughter," said Harry.
"No, Neville," said Percy, "we saw the aftermath of the slaughter." He shivered. "That river of blood will be in my nightmares, I'm sure of it."
Mr. D came outside to meet the group and he saw the boxes. "I see you have avenged Neville's mortal family, Loki. I would offer you a bottle of fine wine or some other kind of alcohol in gratitude, but I feel that My Father would not approve of it. He has banned Me from drinking any more alcohol during My time here at the Camp. Even if He gave Me permission to give you such a gift, who is to say He would not turn it back into water as you drunk it in order to spite Me?"
A thunderclap boomed overhead and Mr. D looked up to the sky.
"Oh, fine! You know, Loki, on second thought, I do not think He would dare to cause a rift between you and Me like that. He may have forbidden Me from partaking, but I do not think it applies to you." A bottle of wine appeared in his hands. "Here you go, Son of the Rich One – have it with My blessing."
The small group of demigods sat down as Mr. D conjured some goblets and handed them out. He placed one in the center of the gathering while Loki poured some wine into the goblets.
They poured a little wine from each of their goblets into the center one as they declared, "For the gods."
They partook of the wine, but it did not turn back into water as they drunk it.
"That was an excellent wine, Mr. D. I am sorry You may not partake of it, but –"
Mr. D waved it off. "I know, I know. My Father, your Uncle, has His reasons for punishing Me thus, to transform My wine into water. You know, the Christians have a God who can pull off that transformation in reverse."
Loki nodded. "Indeed, Jesus did transform water into wine for His first public miracle. If He had pulled off this same transformation in France, He would have started a stampede."
"Let's get back to our original subject," said Harry. "Loki, why didn't you kill Barty Crouch Jr. as well when you saw him?"
"Have you met Barty Crouch Jr. before? If not, how did you identify him?" said Hermione.
"I wanted him to deliver my message to my brother Voldemort, Harry. How can I deliver a message when I have killed all the possible crows? Do we think Lord Über-Caffeinated Quickfeet would prefer to deliver the message instead?" Everyone shook their heads in the negative. "Now, Hermione, I have not met Barty Crouch Jr. before that infamous night. One of my gifts that my Father gave me was the gift to see a person's identity and his or her remaining lifespan. For obvious reasons, He forbade me from revealing the latter information to anyone."
Hermione, Annabeth, and Thalia nodded, though Percy raised his hand. "Wouldn't it be wonderful to know how much longer you have left on Earth, though, Loki?"
Loki rolled his eyes and shook his head. "No, Percy, it would not be so wonderful. Let us say that this rule of my Father did not exist, and let us say that I told someone he or she had one day left to live. Would that news not frighten them, if we remember how much mortals find Death so frightening?"
"What if it was on the opposite end of the spectrum?" said Harry.
"As you know, Harry, there are a number of variable factors that can affect mortal lifespan. Let us say I told someone else that they had a long lifespan ahead of them. The person in question may become cocky and suffer death much earlier than the original lifespan number I gave."
"Would not that dead person call you a liar when they arrived in the Underworld?" said Percy. At once he regretted his question as he saw Loki's eyes flame and a canine growl came out of his throat. "Um, I'm sorry; forget I asked that."
Loki calmed down. "No, Percy, there is no need to apologize for your question. I guess you can say that the number I see above your head is your original lifespan as the Fates have spun it for a mortal, regardless of any mortal stupidity that may shorten it, but, as it is plain for you to see, I may not reveal this information to anyone for both of these aforementioned reasons – either it will make the person afraid, or it will make the person cocky. This information is to be held in as strictest of confidences as what a penitent will tell to a Catholic priest in the Sacrament of Confession. A Catholic priest who break the Seal of the Confessional will receive the severest penalty that the Catholic Church can dish out – automatic excommunication."
"Or, as the umpire in baseball would say, You're out!" said Percy.
"Indeed, Percy. In other words, what is said in Confession stays in Confession!"
"Even if the penitent has committed a crime, like murder? How would the penitent face justice in that situation?"
"Sacramental absolution means that the Catholic priest, in the person of Christ, removes the eternal penalty of a committed sin – which is separation from God for eternity. This is conditional upon the penitent having a contrite and repentant attitude towards his sin. If the penitent has committed a crime, like a murder, the priest can encourage him to turn himself into the authorities to repay his debt to society, but that would be the farthest extent of his involvement. The Sacramental absolution of a crime does not mean that the penitent does not pay his temporal penalty – the penalty on the mortal plane of existence – for the same crime; he still has to pay his debt to society for it. Remember the Bible's King David, who had committed adultery with Bathsheba and killed her husband?"
Percy shook his head. "Many of us are dyslexic, Loki. The attempt to read any book written in Roman characters is an absolute nightmare."
"Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia did not take me to church," said Harry. "As normal people as they claimed to be, I doubt whether they were a church-going people … not that it matters for them now. Neither Hermione nor I know ourselves to be dyslexic."
"Perhaps the dyslexic among you, like Percy, would have an easier time reading the Septuagint – the Greek version of the Old Testament – as well as the New Testament in its original κοινη (Koine) Greek, but I digress. When the Prophet Nathan confronted him with his sin, he repented, so God was willing to remove the eternal penalty from him, but there remained a temporal penalty for the sin he had to pay: the child he had with Bathsheba would die."
"So, while this has been a nice digression into Catholic theology – you must read a lot, Loki –" said Hermione.
"– I do, Hermione –"
"Do you have any idea what will happen with Barty Crouch Jr.?"
"Oh, I am sure he will die … though I doubt it will be by Voldemort's wand. Why should my brother shoot the messenger, as the case may be?"
"Have we known Voldemort to be sane?" said Harry.
Loki grinned. "For that matter, Harry, have we known me to be sane?"
Harry shrugged his shoulders. "I mean no offense, but there does seem to be a method to your madness, or is that a madness to your method?"
"Perhaps it is a bit of both, Harry. Call Lord Voldemort what you want – Lord Moldyshorts, He Who Could not Kill a Baby in Its Crib, My Whiny Bitch of a Brother, Lord of the Lackwits – but he remains as dangerous as ever, even more dangerous when the central prophecy surrounding us says he will join forces with the Big Bad Baby Eater of Tartarus. The oncoming Darkness and the horrors that come out of it will make the Battle of Ragnarok seem like a toddler fight by comparison. The warning about a fight on two fronts worries me as well ..."
"Perhaps we should remain here, Loki?" said Thalia.
"No, Thalia. I have a feeling that Hogwarts will need us for this upcoming year, and Lord Voldemort remains in England, along with what little remains of his forces."
There was the clearing of a throat behind him. "Indeed, Loki, you are correct."
Loki spun around along with everyone else, and he could feel his jaws clench as he felt the aura coming from this auburn haired girl. "Lady Artemis – to what do I owe the honor of Your male hating presence?"
Artemis glared back at him. "Is that any way to talk to a Lady of Olympus, young Loki?"
His eyes at full flame, Loki walked within as close of a distance of Her as he could to remain on his feet within Her suffocating aura. "Perhaps I would feel more comfortable, Miss I Think All Men Are Pigs, if You didn't look at me like You wanted to turn me into your own personal rodent! When somebody gets to eyeballing me like You are right now, my Agent Orange acts up, and when my Agent Orange acts up, I get the urge to go off like a Dalek and exterminate somebody!"
"LOKI!" said Harry. "HEEL, BOY!"
"WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE, HARRY – YOUR PERSONAL DOG?!"
Artemis smirked at him. "I do admit, you may make a good hunting dog, Loki, but since Olympus needs you so much, I have decided on a different option." Having said that, she punched him in the face with such force his head rang like a church bell and he fell down.
She put Her foot on his chest as She calmed down Her aura. "Now, Loki, I can understand that you do not feel comfortable around Me, and given My history with men, I do not feel any more comfortable around you."
Loki let out a scoff. "Oh, your history with men – that is a laugh! You slaughter males like they meant nothing to you – and people of this modern age think hunting is a male sport? What great irony that is – the Greeks had a male hating goddess like You for their Goddess of the Hunt! If all females went your way of hating the male part of the population and swearing off all sexual relations, the human species would go extinct!"
"The sole males I kill are those who are unfortunate enough to cross Me. As to the females, they enter My organization of Hunters by their free will; I force nobody to join. However, it is funny that you should mention the word rodent, because I found one out in England, near the mansion of the Muggle Riddle Family."
With that mention, Harry's mind went back to what the shade of Tom Riddle's diary told him back during his second year in the Chamber of Secrets: "Did you think I would keep my filthy Muggle Father's name?"
"That must be where Voldemort is hiding," he said.
Artemis looked at him. "Yes, Harry, I would think as much. I sensed three auras there: Voldemort's, Luke Castellan's, and the aura of the Big Bad Baby Eater."
She took Her foot off of Loki's chest and allowed him to stand up and to catch his breath.
"Lady Artemis, perhaps I owe You an apology. I can respect Your desire to stay unmarried as well as celibate … however, Your hatred of men rubs me the wrong way, that is all."
"I accept your apology, Loki … though I hold no affection towards your side of the mortal species."
Loki nodded. "I will grant that. So, you mentioned a rodent?"
She brought out a cage. Within was the same rat Harry had seen for three years …
"Wormtail. I should have let Remus and Sirius kill you when they had the chance."
Loki shook his head. "No, Harry. You knew he would be evidence for your godfather's innocence in the matter of your mother's death, and you did not want Remus and Sirius to become murderers, for which I commend your mercy. Now that Sirius is free, however, the time for mercy has passed. Hermione, I have heard that you have a cat."
"Yes, I do; his name is Crookshanks."
"It's a wonder I haven't met him yet, since I love pussy … cats. I am sure he is somewhere around here?"
"Meow?"
Loki looked down and saw a big orange furball. "Crookshanks, I presume?"
"Meow." Much to Loki's surprise, Crookshanks started to purr as he rubbed against his leg. As the young Creepshow reached down his hand to give him a petting, Crookshanks gave it a head butt.
"Wow – I was not expecting that. Most animals tend to run away from me as far as they can in the other direction."
"He likes you."
Loki grinned. "I will add that this is the sole way I can say that I can pet your pussy without Harry becoming all mad and beating me up seven ways to the Afterlife."
Harry and Hermione rolled their eyes at the pun. "Loki, you are crazy," they said.
"I know I am crazy … in fact, it's one of my most endearing qualities. Crookshanks, are you up for a little nosh? Courtesy of Lady Artemis here ..."
Crookshanks saw the cage with the rat and pawed at it. The rat screeched and back away in terror. Crookshanks looked back up at Loki. "Meow?"
Loki froze the rat within, opened its cage, and Summoned it out. "Well, Crookshanks … bon appétit!"
Crookshanks took a few seconds to eat up the rat, and so it was that Peter Jonah "Wormtail" Pettigrew died. Hades punished him by turning him into Cerberus's new squeaky toy. Of course, from time to time, three pairs of strong canine jaws would break apart Pettigrew's form, but his form would renew itself so the torture could continue thus for all eternity. An additional humiliation was the occasional time when Cerberus would swallow him ... so he would pass through the mutt's digestive tract, and would come out the other end ...
~HALF BLOOD HARRY POTTER~
The news which Barty Crouch Jr. brought to Lord Voldemort did not faze the Dark Lord in the least. "So, Loki wishes to eliminate my allies in the Wizarding World, is that it? So be it … Barty, we proceed with our plan as we have planned it. Do we understand each other on this point?"
"I hear and obey you, My Lord."
"Then carry on, Barty. Let nothing stand in your way."
Barty bowed to his Master and left the Manor for the residence of one Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody.
~HALF BLOOD HARRY POTTER~
The residence of the grizzled, retired Auror known as "Mad-Eye" turned out to be Barty's undoing, for he stepped on a bear trap, which clamped onto his leg with a great amount of pain.
A peg leg sounded on the lawn as Alastor came out. "Well, well, well, if it isn't Barty Crouch Jr. How in the world did you escape from Azkaban?"
Barty could not think through the pain that reverberated through his shattered leg bones, much less could he say anything coherent through his screams.
"You had better answer me fast, Barty, because I have attached that bear trap to a small Muggle bomb. It is not so destructive to blow up the street, mind you, but it is destructive enough to kill you once it blows. So, give me some answers; why did you come to my residence out here?"
Barty could manage to say through his pain, "GO TO HELL!"
BOOM!
A motorcycle pulled up, and its rider – Ares – got off of it.
"Yet another casualty," He said. "You did nice work here, Son – at least it is another name off Loki's list, after he killed off the Death Eaters in Azkaban. Gods, how I love the smell of blood and guts in the morning … smells like … victory …"
"How did Barty Crouch Jr. escape from Azkaban?"
"Barty Crouch Senior made an old switcheroo between his son and his wife using Polyjuice Potion. His wife died soon afterward. It broke the old man, and he was never the same since."
He grabbed the soul of the deceased. "Come along, Barty … I have a place to show you …"
The motorcycle sped off so fast, it left a trail of fire in its wake.
~HALF BLOOD HARRY POTTER~
Hades looked at the new arrival with interest. "Well, Barty Crouch Jr … escaped from Azkaban to join with his Master once again … died in a bomb ridden bear trap … ooh, I can imagine how ugly that must have been … your face looks similar to a famous Muggle actor … ah, yes, David Tennant, the Tenth Doctor from that British series Doctor Who! Now that I think about it, I have the perfect punishment for you …"
The punishment was being stuck in an unending situation where the Doctor's enemies – like the Daleks and the Cybermen, among others – would keep on coming after him, but he would lose and die every time, but he would regenerate (oh, the irony!) to face the same horror, over and over again.
"EXTERMINATE!"
"YOU SHALL BE DELETED!"
Even more to Barty's increased horror, his Sonic Screwdriver – the Doctor's classic weapon – would refuse to work like it should …
"WORK, DAMN YOU, WORK!"
Sometimes, the Sonic Screwdriver would even blow up in his face!
The laughter of Hades rang through the Underworld.
Author's Note: Another fun chapter done! Read and review!
Smiles and laughter,
Loki Palmer