The rest of the week had continued on with Nekodani High being petty bully central, the only difference being that Keiji and Koutarou are no longer affected. Kei knows it'll take time to fade away from the forefront of everyone's mind, but they're all content ignoring it for now. The basketball team continue to throw the idiotic teenagers off with misinformation, to the point that it's become more humorous than hurtful. It's actually fun watching them eat up the gossip and spread the false rumours like mindless sheep.
Hitoka's birthday was on Wednesday and the team all wished her a happy birthday. She's close enough with them that she's having a party with just the team Saturday night. Tonight.
With Tetsurou's affirmation of what he calls 'Freckles and Sparkles mutually oblivious pining' Kei managed to convince Tadashi to get her a present. A good present. A meaningful present. They've been discussing options through the week, most of Kei's suggestions coming as second hand information from Tetsurou. Not that Tadashi knows that.
He probably suspects as much now though.
Driving Akiteru's smoky grey Toyota Corolla, Kei pulls into a parking space at the local shopping mall with Tadashi in the passenger seat and Tetsurou's long legs cramped in the backseat. The Captain had invited himself and somehow convinced Kei it was a good idea. How is he always so damn convincing?
"So, why is Tetsu with us again?" Tadashi questions, looking pointedly at a grinning Tetsurou as they make their way across the parking lot and into the mall.
"I wanted to help with—"
"His bros ditched him for video games and boyfriends," Kei interrupts.
"Tsukki!" he whines and Tadashi snickers. Tetsurou sighs. "Yes, fine, my bros deserted me. Kenma is basically holing himself in because Fallout 4 just came out, which means he's only going to be leaving his house for school and basketball, and probably the chance to see Shrimpy tonight. And Koutarou is probably balls deep in Keiji as we speak."
Kei clicks his tongue. "Could you be any more vulgar?"
"That sounds like a challenge…"
"It isn't."
Tetsurou chuckles and wraps an arm around Kei's shoulders, which is so wonderfully bad. Whatever aftershave Tetsurou uses should be taken away from him because, mixed with his natural scent – which Kei can only describe as 'warm' – it's intoxicating. Along with the very loose fitting white singlet he's wearing, mouth-watering broad shoulders set bare upon the world, tight faded denim shorts stretched over muscular thighs and hair its usual attractive mess, it's all very distracting and… oh so bad.
"Alas, soon t'will only be Tsukki and I in the realm of single-dom."
"And me," Tadashi adds, his brow furrowing with suspicion as Kei elbows Tetsurou in the ribs.
"He thinks he's funny," Kei drawls.
"We should just tell him," Tetsurou remarks. "Also, I'm hungry so let's hit the food court first."
"Tell me what?"
"Didn't you eat breakfast?" Kei questions, scrunching his face in annoyance and ignoring Tadashi.
Tetsurou sighs. "It's noon, meaning lunch. See, this is why I can't trust you with your own diet. You need to eat more. You're doing too much exercise through the week to skip meals Tsukki. We're going to get food."
"Geez, you're the most overbearing team dad. I miss my old team dad."
"Tell me what?"
"It's okay Freckles, nothing serious," Tetsurou grins easily at him, draping an arm across his shoulders, because apparently he can't walk without being draped over someone. "Food first and then we'll explain the masterplan!"
Making their way to the food court Tadashi continues to worry away about this 'masterplan', which is completely understandable, because coming from Tetsurou it sounds suspicious and creepy. The Captain easily chuckles off the questions though, ruffling Tadashi's hair playfully. Although annoyed by the being ignored Kei notices that Tadashi goes along with Tetsurou's stupidity rather easily, that they get along. Not surprising really, they're both friendly and likable, and Tetsurou pushes through Tadashi's socially nervous barrier effortlessly.
"Go find us a table," the older boy instructs Kei, his shit-eating grin concerning. Kei's in no mood for argument – he knows he'll lose to the only person who can out argue him – and does as he's told, albeit with a scowl. He's not hungry anyway.
The food court is busy, bustling with people laughing around mouthfuls and chatting about their shopping endeavours. Being tall makes it easy enough for him to simply stand there and spot an empty four seated table nearby. Kei slumps down in one of the chairs and pulls out his phone.
[12:27] Me
That game had better be damn good for you to dump Tetsurou on me, he's annoying.
[12:28] Kenma
you're the one that told him you were going shopping, you're the one that let him convince you to pick him up
Kei snorts a laugh, because it's true. He's usually selective about the information he gives away to people, but talking to Tetsurou is too easy. Besides, he needs help with this Tadashi and Hitoka plan, Kei's simply not very good with people and… helping. Tetsurou has already done twice as much with the situation than Kei ever will.
[12:30] Me
Yeah, well, you live and you learn. Enjoy your post-apocalyptic fun.
[12:31] Kenma
thanks, enjoy your 'tsk'-fest
The problem is that he is enjoying it, too much. Kei likes being around Tetsurou and hanging out with him. And that is a problem because he likes Tetsurou; which, apparently, is a thing he is admitting to himself now.
Kei is worrying away at his lip and glaring down at his phone – the screen already gone black – when Tetsurou and Tadashi arrive with trays of food.
"What's wrong?" Tetsurou asks, because he's observant and it's annoying. Really, how long is Kei going to be able to hide his feelings from someone so perceptive?
"Nothing," Kei lies, tucking his phone back into his pocket. Sitting down beside him, Tetsurou places a tray down in front of him and Kei raises an eyebrow. "What's this?"
"Why Tsukki, I thought you were smart enough to know food when you saw it."
Kei rolls his eyes. "I meant, why is it in front of me, smartass?"
"I bought you lunch," Tetsurou grins brilliantly. "Carbohydrates, high in protein and vitamins and minerals. You will eat it all and you will enjoy it. If you don't eat it, I will force feed you."
"He probably will," Tadashi affirms. "So, what are you telling me?"
Tetsurou watches Kei with a lazy lopsided smirk until he caves and picks up the fork. In the two takeaway containers in front of him are a variety of steamed vegetables and a piece of grilled fish. Luckily he likes fish. As takes a bite he looks over and notices that Tetsurou has the same thing, perhaps it's his favourite.
Kei shouldn't read anything into it, there is probably nothing to read into, but Tetsurou bought him lunch. That thought warms through Kei's chest and forces him to stare down at his food, hoping the other two are too distracted by their own food to notice the small smile curling Kei's mouth as he chews his surprisingly delicious lunch.
"Okay, so, Tsukki and I are going to get you and Hitoka together," Tetsurou explains, chewing on a carrot and somehow speaking clearly. "Even if we have to lock you in a closet together."
"For the last time, we are not shoving them in a closet," Kei huffs while Tadashi splutters helplessly, probably choking on his noodles. "What is your obsession with closets?"
"Wh-what? B-but she—she doesn't—Hitoka and Shouyou…"
Tetsurou grins broadly. "Don't be ridiculous, Shrimpy is about as straight as Kou is, that is to say, not at all. And Hitoka likes you."
"H-How do you know that?"
"Because I've been watching you two love birds dance around each other awkwardly and adorably for years. And I've had enough, I'm putting my foot down!"
Tadashi's eyes go comically wide and his voice is breathy, because apparently he buys into Testurou's bullshit.
"What are you going to do…?"
"Initiate masterplan: Get Freckles and Sparkles in an Adorable, Too Pure For This World Relationship!" Tetsurou proclaims loudly. "Because you deserve to be happy together."
Kei agrees, not with his overly dramatic crap, Tetsurou is alone in that, but with the sentiment. Through the week Kei put in an effort to talk to Hitoka more, to get to know her, and discovered that she's an incredibly polite, kind and passionate girl. She loves the basketball team, manages people skilfully and is exceptionally intelligent. Kei likes her, and even in the small amount of time he's spent with them, watching Hitoka and Tadashi so obliviously flirt like they do, offering blushing smiles and warm compliments to each other, he knows they both want to be together. He doesn't need Tetsurou's observation skills to see that.
"Hitoka is an amazing girl though, we need to do something special for her. Dude, seriously, I'd be jealous, except you guys are perfect for each other and I want to be cool uncle Tetsurou to your future, undoubtedly beautiful, blonde, freckled children."
Kei clicks his tongue while Tadashi blushes furiously. "You're the furthest thing from cool."
"Don't worry Tsukki, you'll be the quirky uncle that teaches them all the important things about dinosaurs," Tetsurou teases, grinning broadly. Kei works very hard to keep his expression straight. Of course he noticed the fucking dinosaurs, he grumbles to himself. "Don't be mad Tsukki, it's adorable; I've found your adorable little uncool flaw. You had to have one."
Feeling the blush rising to his face Kei bows his head over his food, pretending to be focussed on his vegetables. Tetsurou said 'adorable' twice and suggested that Kei was cool and flawless? They're vague compliments and Tetsurou compliments everyone, it's not uncommon or unusual, Kei isn't special… So why does he feel like there is affection in the older boys words?
"Tsukki knows all the dinosaurs, he was so obsessed with them when he was a kid, he learned everything he could about them," Tadashi explains with a fond smile, probably happy to focus on something other than his own crush.
"Tadashi!" Kei snaps, his eyes wide.
"Ah, sorry Tsukki!" he smiles guiltily and scratches the back of his head.
Tetsurou is, of course, chuckling merrily. "Okay, okay, save the Tsukki teasing for later. We have serious business to attend to. Have you thought of a present for Sparkles?"
Tadashi winces. "I… N-Not really. I mean I've thought of plenty of things but nothing seems good enough for her."
"Aww," Tetsurou coos, too delinquent looking for all the 'adorable' and cooing. "Hmm, what does she like? What are her hobbies? What does she want to do when she graduates?"
As his best friend explains anything and everything Hitoka Yachi, from her favourite colour to her family situation, Kei doesn't even attempt to decipher the facts into some perfectly personalised gift – he entrusts this task to Tetsurou. Instead he frowns at the sheer volume of information Tadashi knows about her. How long have they been this close, to know so much, and yet ignore their feelings? It makes an uncomfortable feeling settle in Kei's stomach at the parallel to his own situation. How long will he have to feel this way – or possibly stronger – about Tetsurou, before it fades?
"So, she likes space…" Tetsurou muses, rubbing at his chin.
"Yes, Hitoka always wanted to be an astronaut and still does. She's planning on applying—"
"Aha!" Tetsurou calls out triumphantly. "I've got it, I have the perfect thing. You're a genius Freckles!"
"What is—?"
"Tetsurou!"
A redheaded, athletic boy approaches them and Kei recognises him immediately from school, the Captain of the Nekodani soccer team. As he approaches his pale blue eyes roam over Kei and Tadashi, appraising, before moving back to Tetsurou.
"Yo, Spencer, what's up?" Tetsurou grins, his easy-going, friendly aura switched to high beam.
"Hey man, I uh, I haven't gotten a chance to talk to you, schools so busy with training and all," Spencer says, seemingly hesitant to talk. "Do you have a minute to talk?"
"Yeah, sure, what about?"
Spencer huffs when Tetsurou seems unwilling to leave for privacy. "Look, dude, you have a reputation to uphold, you're a leader in our school and in your sport. You really shouldn't be pulling this bullshit, people look up to you and respect you."
Tetsurou's heavily furrowed brow probably matches Kei's, he's completely lost as to what Spencer is getting at and if Tetsurou doesn't understand then Kei has no hope. The dark haired boy shakes his head in confusion.
"Hah? What are you talking about?"
"You know I don't have a problem with the homo shit, but that's not what this is about. You're a mockery at school and you're the Captain of the State Champion basketball team, it carries weight. People expect things of you, like, not turning the entire basketball team into a fucking joke. You're not even gay dude."
A smile curls Tetsurou's lips but Kei can see the tension in it. "Didn't know you were so clued into my personal life Spence."
Spencer snorts a laugh. "The whole school is, the chicks you hook up with aren't exactly quiet about it. Just this morning Ana was bragging about fucking you last night."
Kei's suddenly unbelievably relieved his hands are in his lap, under the table, because they clench so tightly into fists that his short nails dig into his palm painfully. The jealous reaction is visceral, which doesn't bode well for the theory that he simply has a little crush on Tetsurou and he'll get over it soon. Why him? Kei asks himself for the millionth time.
The problem is that there is so much rumour surrounding Tetsurou that it's difficult to discern whether it's true or not. Not knowing is hard. Not knowing leads to hope. Hope leads to disappointment.
"I've never cared about the sleeping around thing," Spencer continues, "you're a decent guy and that's your own business; it's not your fault if they wanna talk about it. But bringing your whole team into all this gossip… And trust me, I get it, covering for Keiji and Koutarou's fuck up with your Olivia Pope tactics, you're a good friend. But Nekodani is a prominent sporting institution, don't drag our name through the mud for two dudes who can't keep it in their pants."
Carefully watching Tetsurou's stiff smile, Kei doesn't even notice the muscles in his forearm taut with tension until Spencer has finished. He's suddenly very worried Tetsurou is going to punch the guy; not that he doesn't deserve it, but Tetsurou could get in trouble. So, Kei does something he wouldn't ordinarily – ever – do, he intervenes.
"I'm glad people are noticing the Captains calculated sass, but Olivia Pope? Tetsurou still has a long way to go to reach her superior level," Kei remarks, staring Spencer straight in the eyes and smirking.
"Is this part of your homo charade?" Spencer questions, pointing to Kei and Tadashi.
Tetsurou seems more relaxed after Kei's remarks, grinning broadly as he shrugs. "What can I say, I swing both ways."
I wish, Kei thinks.
A nerve in Spencer's jaw twitches and he leans in closer, his voice low and hissing. "Look, I don't give a shit what your friends do, but you need to clean up your fucking act Tetsurou. Fuck your smartass blond faggot behind closed doors and keep a lid on it."
The mischievous smile that was stretching Tetsurou's mouth drops and his face becomes something utterly terrifying; dark amber eyes burning and strong jaw tensed into a severe line.
"I think you should leave, scrub," Tetsurou growls, low and threatening.
The redheaded Captain looks about to protest, but takes in Tetsurou's expression and thinks better of it. Spencer straightens, blue eyes moving to Kei before he turns on his heel and leaves. Tetsurou watches him until he's out of sight and then turns back to the table, gazing down at his mostly finished food as his features relax into an expression Kei's more accustomed to on the laidback Captain.
"Sorry about that, guys a pretentious prick," Tetsurou mutters with irritation but smiles as he glances up at Tadashi, who looks nervous, eyes wide with concern. "C'mon, we should get to work before I forget this brilliant idea."
"O-Okay," Tadashi nods gathering his tray as he stands.
Kei rises slowly, following after his best friend, a little dazed by the whole encounter. He's nervous, not about being called a 'faggot', long since numb to the pain the word is supposed to inflict, but about being called a 'faggot' in front of Tetsurou. Though he's fairly certain Tetsurou knows at this point – he's too perceptive not to – Kei's worried about his reaction. More importantly he cares what Tetsurou thinks.
After dumping his tray a large hand grips at his elbow, warm fingers curling over his skin, causing Kei to swallow hard. Tetsurou has never touched him before, not with his hands, not against his bare skin, and yet he knows it is Tetsurou's hand simply from the warmth and strength of it.
"Tsukki, I'm…" Tetsurou starts, running his fingers through his messy black hair and looking guilty, as Kei turns to face him. "I'm sorry he said that about you, he was just mad at me. You're not… I mean, it's okay. And you don't deserve that shit."
Kei shakes his head, working hard to keep his churning, confusing emotions from showing. "It's not your fault, you have nothing to apologise for. And I'm fine."
"You're allowed not to be."
"I know. But I am."
Tetsurou narrows his eyes on him, undoubtedly discerning the lie, but simply nods. "Okay, let's go."
It's not a lie. At least not at the capacity Tetsurou is concerned about. Kei isn't fine because Tetsurou just defended him, got pissed off on his behalf, apologised to him, accepted him and told him he deserves better… That's not something Kei can simply be fine about; his feelings for Tetsurou don't allow him to be.
An hour later, Kei is sitting on the 'husband couch' surrounded by numerous bags, because apparently he is a pack mule. He's happy for the distance from his nervous best friend and the overly enthusiastic Tetsurou, the latter had petted him on the cheek and called him a 'good husband', which was… Dangerous and nothing Kei's willing to contemplate further.
Even after a hearty explanation from them, Kei is still uncertain about exactly what this present is. While Tetsurou gave the base idea for the gift, Tadashi extrapolated on it and refined it into something they're both excited about. Considering what he's going to be doing tonight, Tadashi should be a nervous wreck, but there is only a minor twinge of panic in his beaming smile. Either he's distancing himself personally from the project or he's gotten better at internalising.
"All right, that's the last of it!" Tetsurou announces as he and Tadashi exit the store with a small bag. Kei goes to pick up all the bags when Tetsurou stops him. "No Tsukki, I was only joking about carrying all the bags. Geez, how cruel do you think I am?"
"It doesn't seem like the type of helpful thing you would usually do," Kei deadpans.
"What? I'm always this kind."
Kei scoffs. "Sure you are."
Leaving the mall and stuffing all the bags into the car they make their way back to Kei's. He can't get over how natural it feels hanging out with Tetsurou, after only knowing him for only three weeks, and Tadashi. It's fun. Kei's fairly certain that he's never met someone he so easily converses with, he actually cares what Tetsurou is saying and even responds, even offers input.
"Hey Tetsurou, good to see you again!" Akiteru greets them as they arrive back at Kei's, his brother grinning far too brightly to be subtle. "They rope you into shopping?"
"Nah, I volunteered, these two are hopeless and this is an important mission!" Tetsurou chuckles, placing the bags on the small dining table and patting Kei on the back when he clicks his tongue. "Freckles is less hopeless, but needs a good push."
"How much did you buy?" Akiteru questions, frowning at the array of bags. "How many presents does one girl need? As special as she may be," he amends, seeing Tadashi's embarrassed expression.
"They aren't all gifts, it's one big gift," Tadashi asserts, pulling some of the crafting material out. He continues to explain the plan, not for the first time as they've already explained it twice to Kei, who is actually, finally, starting to visualise it. It's fairly simple idea in theory but the craft involved is far less so. It's going to take a fair bit of preparation.
Tadashi sets to work organising jobs for everyone – even Akiteru offers to help – and their small kitchen table is soon covered in an orderly mess of arts and crafts, surrounded by four boys too big for it. But no one complains, externally at least. Internally Kei's heart stutters uncomfortably because Tetsurou's sitting next to him, their elbows bumping in the small space. Akiteru is to blame for this of course, swiftly taking the seat next to Tadashi and grinning meaningfully at Kei, who scowls in return. Thankfully Tetsurou doesn't see the exchange.
As Kei sits down Akiteru's cat – a black and white little shit by the name of Tux – jumps up onto Kei's lap. He's learned to live with it, he's had to, the cat seems to think Kei's lap is his own personal throne and gets very difficult to live with if he's denied. Tetsurou gasps upon seeing Tux.
"You have a cat!"
"Very observant," Kei drawls.
"I love cats, I've always wanted one but mom's extremely allergic," Tetsurou explains, gazing down at the ball of fur with curiosity. "What's his name? Is he friendly?"
"His name's Tux and he's only friendly if you're Kei, I have the scars to prove it," Akiteru chuckles, scratching the back of his head. "Kei's the only person he tolerates really; you can try to pet him, but be careful."
The warning in Akiteru's voice doesn't deter Tetsurou, who confidently reaches out to pet the cat. To Kei's surprise, Tux doesn't even flinch as Tetsurou's hand strokes along the soft black and white fur, in fact he starts purring. Kei looks up to see Tetsurou grinning happily, a genuine smile, lacking it's usual infuriating mischief and practically purring himself. Then, Kei realises how close they are, Tetsurou leaning into the already tight space on this side of the table and stroking the cat on Kei's lap.
Kei glances up to see Akiteru covering his mouth, holding back laughter and Tadashi frowning in confusion. From their side of the table, unable to see the cat in Kei's lap, it probably looks rather inappropriate.
"W-We better ge—get started," Kei mutters, almost choking on his words as the tips of Tetsurou's fingers brush across his stomach.
Tetsurou frowns up at him momentarily, but straightens and with his lazy smirk in place, says, "Sure thing boss."
A few glances are exchanged between Tadashi and Akiteru but Kei quickly ducks his head to avoid meeting their gazes. Kei hasn't told Tadashi, he wasn't planning on needing to, he was planning on his unwelcome attraction for Tetsurou to simply fade away. That doesn't seem to be happening any time soon. Akiteru knows, but due to his brothers high workload Kei's managed to avoid discussing it through the week.
Although he's actually admitting to himself that the attraction is there, he can still dismiss it as 'just in his head'. He knows the remaining fragment of 'it's nothing' will be shattered if he talks about it, it will feel real. But it will never be real, there will never be anything between him and Tetsurou besides friendship, and Kei will be left a pathetic, pining mess.
"So…" Tetsurou says into their concentrated silence, the word long and drawn out, promising nothing good. "Dinosaurs, huh?"
Oh, fuck. No, no, no, why?
Akiteru chuckles. "I assume you saw the dinosaur figurines in Kei's room. He has many more stored away in the closet."
"Akiteru, no," Kei hisses, his cheeks warm with embarrassment.
"Akiteru, yes," Tetsurou encourages, his eyes twinkling with mischief and grinning eagerly.
"It's fine Kei, everyone has hobbies," he waves off the complaint and turns back to Tetsurou. "I was obsessed with the original Jurassic Park movies, and because of that Kei basically grew up watching them, even though he was so young."
"You got your dino obsession from your big brother? That's so cute Tsukki!"
"It's not cute and I'm not obsessed," Kei grinds out, keeping his eyes on the work in front of him.
"Tsukki, you dressed up as a dinosaur trick-or-treating every Halloween when we were kids," Tadashi remarks, shrugging as he receives a death glare.
"Which was rather frightening. Kei grew really quickly and was a tall kid, so seeing a giant dinosaur walking around made a lot of the other children cry. I had to actually apologise to one child's parents because the kid peed himself and Kei called him 'pathetic'," Akiteru tells them, chuckling through the story. At this point Tetsurou is laughing like a hyena – which is possibly the first unattractive thing he's done – and Tadashi is snickering at the memory.
Kei clicks his tongue. "Robbie Wells, he deserved it too, he was pathetic."
"He was four!"
"Yeah, well, he probably learnt a valuable lesson."
"Do you have photos?" Tetsurou asks, having somewhat recovered from his laughing fit.
"No!"
"Yes," Akiteru says, blatantly ignoring Kei. "I'll go get them."
Kei drops his head onto an empty space on the table and leaves it there when Akiteru returns. The three of them gather around Akiteru's tablet, cooing and laughing and sharing stories. Never has Kei wanted to be swallowed by a sink hole so badly.
"You were such a cute kid Tsukki, what happened?" Tetsurou laughs, sitting back down next to Kei.
"It's already four o'clock," Kei comments, ignoring them and focussing on his painting. "If we want to get this done in time I suggest we focus."
"Shit, I promised my mom that I'd hang out with her this afternoon before the party," Tetsurou winces, standing from his chair. "You guys will be fine with finishing this right?"
Tadashi nods, smiling brightly. "We'll be fine, Tsukki was exaggerating. Thanks for the help Tetsu!"
"No worries Freckles, I'll see you guys tonight to set the masterplan into action!"
Tetsurou salutes before strolling out the room and towards the front door, because apparently he's comfortable enough here, after one previous visit, to let himself out. Tadashi and Akiteru remain quiet until they hear the door click shut.
"Okay, what am I missing?" Tadashi asks, setting what he's working on down.
"Nothing."
"Kei, he was flirting with you," Akiteru says, grinning idiotically.
"What?" Tadashi questions, incredibly confused. "T-Tetsu?"
Kei grits his teeth. "No, he wasn't. I don't want to talk about it, Aki."
"Talk about what? Tsukki what the hell is going on?"
"Kei has a crush on Tetsurou," Akiteru answers, because of course he doesn't understand the situation, because Kei hasn't explained the situation, so it's no surprise when his smile drops at Tadashi troubled expression.
"Tsukki… Y-You can't, he's not—"
"I know!" he snaps, finally glancing up from his painting, both of them looking shocked and worried by his outburst. Sucking in a deep breath he gazes down at the flecks of black paint on his fingers. "I know, Tadashi."
"Now I'm confused," Akiteru says softly into the tense silence.
"Tetsu's straight," Tadashi responds, so quietly it's almost a whisper.
"B-But he was just… He was flirting with you, he was petting Tux on your lap and wanted to see pictures of you when you were a kid… He called you cute!"
"That's just how he is," Kei explains, feeling calmer but no less annoyed by his own senseless emotions. "You don't know him Aki, 'adorable' is practically Tetsurou's favourite word and he's just a friendly and flirtatious person. He's like that with everyone. This is why I didn't want to talk about it. You'll try to convince me not to give up, that there is a hidden homo in all of us and that things he does mean he likes me. But he doesn't and he never will. He's my friend and my Captain, I need to be able to live with him without ceaseless and futile hope hanging over my head."
"Kei…"
"No, Aki. No. Can we please just get back to work, if we don't finish painting soon it really won't dry in time for tonight."
Kei can feel his brother's eyes on him and Tadashi's furtive glances, both worried, both wanting to reassure him. But there is no reassurance, there is nothing they can say. So they remain quiet and go back to painting.
It hurts. This conversation, as prepared for it as he was, hurt more than he expected. Finally giving voice to all those doubts, and the assured knowledge that Tetsurou will never look at him the way he wants, it hurts more than Kei believed it would. Comprehending this only makes him feel worse, because apparently his feelings for Tetsurou go deeper than he realised.
His stupid, hopeless feelings.
"Hey, Ken, what's taking so long?" Tetsurou questions, entering his best friend's house after receiving no responses to his 'hurry the fuck up' texts. "I swear to God if your still lost in Fallout with your earphones on I'm going to—"
He's drawn up short by the sight of Kenma huddled on the floor in front of his wardrobe, surrounded by a mangled mess of clothes and staring into the wardrobe as if it has the answers to the world. It almost looks as if he's worried about what to wear. Kenma. Worried about clothing. It can't be though, because those are two things that don't exist in the same sentence.
"Ken…" Tetsurou says, slowly approaching. "What's wrong?"
"I don't want to go," he mumbles, barely opening his mouth to speak.
"What? Why?"
Kenma looks up at him, anxiety etched into his boyish features, his eyes wide and a small crease between his brows. Tetsurou hasn't had to help with Kenma's social anxiety for a few years now. Thankfully though this seems to be a rather minor case.
"Shit, you really like Shrimpy don't you?" Tetsurou asks when Kenma doesn't respond.
"I don't," he mutters, petulantly looking the other way.
"Okay, no, we're not doing this. Disregarding your feelings for him—Ah, ah, don't," Tetsurou warns as Kenma goes to interject. "Shouyou is your friend and he expects you to be there, so you're going. It's as simple as that. Also, he doesn't care what you wear, he's the least materialistic person ever. Here."
Picking up an orange Star Wars t-shirt and a black cardigan from the floor and his brown pants from his drawers, Tetsurou throws them onto the bed. Ordering Kenma to get changed in his unquestionable Captain voice, he walks out of the room and closes the door behind him.
Since exchanging mobile numbers, Kenma and Shouyou have been messaging each other non-stop all week – when not in each other's presence at school or practice. Tetsurou is good at reading people and he's almost certain Shouyou is borderline infatuated with Kenma. And of course, Kenma, with his low self-esteem, is completely in denial about it.
Tetsurou loves his friends but the amount of meddling he has to do to help their hopeless, oblivious asses is ridiculous.
[8:03] KouBro – bro where r u? lets fkn rage already
[8:07] Tetsu – soz bro wont be much longer
[8:07] KouBro – whatcha do? choose tonight to try to tame ya hair?
[8:07] Tetsu – lol somethin like that
[8:08] Keiji – Tetsurou please get here soon so I can be free from the buffoon
[8:08] KouBro – keijiiiiiiii so mean! im not a baboon
[8:08] Tetsu – you chose to shackle urself to that BUFFoon so its all on you my friend :D
[8:08] KouBro – nice one bro! *flex*
Chuckling to himself Tetsurou looks up from his phone and Kenma is standing at his doorway, dressed, but his shoulders are more slumped than usual and he looks nervous. It's as uncomfortable as seeing Keiji upset but this, unfortunately, Tetsurou is accustomed to.
Words carry very little weight with Kenma. It doesn't matter how rationally Tetsurou explains or how much Kenma understands that nothing is ever as bad as it seems, his anxiety doesn't fade until he's in the situation and experiences how okay he is. Knowing this, Tetsurou remains silent as they make their way to Hitoka's.
Kenma is standing behind Tetsurou, fiddling with the cuff of his cardigan, when Koutarou opens the door to welcome them to… Not his house.
"Dude, it's starting to get creepy that at every friends' house I arrive at, you're the one that opens the door," Tetsurou comments, pulling Kenma along as he enters.
"My friend's casa is my casa, right?" Koutarou chuckles, slapping Tetsurou on the shoulder and shutting the door behind them. "Tsukki and Dashi didn't come with you?"
"Nah, they're not here yet?"
His friend shakes his head vigorously as they make their way inside. Perhaps Kei and Tadashi had problems with assembling the masterplan's present, Tetsurou hopes it's nothing major. If they take much longer he'll have to call and check on them.
"There she is," Tetsurou calls as they enter the kitchen and find Hitoka talking to Keiji. "The birthday girl!"
Hitoka giggles as Tetsurou lifts her into a giant bear hug. "N-Not technically my birthday anymore Tetsu."
"Psh, your tiara says differently."
Setting her back on her feet, Hitoka automatically reaches to adjust the glittery, starry 'Birthday Girl' tiara set in her braided, long blonde hair. She looks gorgeous, Tadashi's going to freak out… Which, might be bad. Tetsurou doesn't even have to ask to know that Hitoka didn't get herself the tiara, doesn't even have to guess at who bought it for her, he just knows.
"How pretty is it!" Koutarou gushes, his grin so broad it looks like it hurts. "I saw it when we went looking for her birthday present and I had to get it for Princess Sparkles!"
"Beautiful bro, sign me up for one on my birthday," Tetsurou comments.
"Try to put that thing in your hair and it will never come out again," Keiji deadpans.
"Oi!"
"Kenma, you look so handsome!" Hitoka says, pulling him into a hug. If there is anyone angelic enough to make Kenma visibly relax, even when blushing, it's Hitoka. She helped Kenma a lot with his anxiety when they started at high school together, experiencing it herself and being an incredible support for him. In that first year, knowing that Kenma had Hitoka, Tadashi, Morisuke and Keiji, was a great relief to Tetsurou.
"Thank you Hitoka, happy birthday," Kenma mumbles, his arms lifting to gently return the embrace.
"You do look adorable today Ken!" Koutarou adds, and Tetsurou kind of wishes he hadn't because it's one complement too many and Kenma glares at him suspiciously.
"Did you do this?"
"I didn't do anything except dress you so impeccably that all your friends notice. Seriously, you should let me choose your clothes all the time," Tetsurou smirks at him then turns to Hitoka. "Where are the others?"
"Mori, Akinori and Tatsuki are outside barbequing and Lev is—"
"Kenma!" Shouyou yells, running in from the living room. Kenma's eyes widen at the sound of his name but he composes his expression before turning to Shouyou, who immediately grasps his wrist. "Thank God you're here! We're watching the Bulls play and Lev disagrees that—"
"Lev is always wrong," Kenma states.
Shouyou's irritated expression bursts into a radiating grin that's practically blinding. The kid's so expressive it's impossible not to notice that he's head over heels for Kenma, who's returning small, awed smile confirms the feeling is mutual. It's adorable. But annoying. Oh so oblivious.
"You're watching basketball at Hitoka's birthday party?" Tetsurou questions, because Kenma is starting to turn pink being in the centre of attention.
"Of course, Kou put it on," Shouyou answers, tilting his head like he doesn't understand Tetsurou's incredulity. "C'mon Kenma, I need you to back me up against Lev!"
Without hesitation Shouyou pulls an uncharacteristically pliant Kenma out of the room.
Tetsurou clutches at his chest dramatically. "Ah, they grow up so fast."
"What?" Koutarou questions, cocking his head like a bird, confused.
Thankfully the doorbell rings and he's saved from making up an excuse for his dramatics. Koutarou, of course, snaps his head up at the sound, face alight with renewed excitement, and goes to answer the door before Tetsurou pulls him back by his collar.
"No, you put that damn basketball game on, so you need to make sure those idiots don't get into a ridiculous argument. If Lev is being annoying call Mori," Tetsurou commands, it's a fairly lame excuse for letting, what is likely Kei and Tadashi in himself, but it works. No one questions him if he uses the right tone. "I'll get the door."
It's no surprise to find Kei and Tadashi standing there, the former with his perpetual bored expression in place and the latter looking ridiculously nervous – and Tetsurou had thought Kenma was bad. What is a surprise is how well Kei is dressed. It's a new experience to see the blond in anything but his school uniform or basketball clothes, but today he's seen him in two everyday outfits and can't help but notice.
Kei holds himself well, with impeccable posture, so maybe that's why Tetsurou expected him to dress like some preppy kid, but he doesn't, Kei dresses unexpectedly casually. He's wearing bright red jeans that draw a ridiculous amount of attention to his long legs, a black and white raglan t-shirt and black chucks. He looks cool.
"Geez, why you guys so late?" Tetsurou questions.
"We had paint problems," Kei drawls, entering as Tetsurou makes way for them.
"I assume everything's okay though? In the car, safe and waiting for go-time?"
"Y-Yes, everything is ready," Tadashi stutters an answer, always nicely dressed, in dark jeans and a pale blue sweater. "When is it best to…? When should we…?"
Tetsurou chuckles and slings an arm across Tadashi's shoulders. "Hang in their Freckles, we'll give at least an hour of eating and socialising before we even get ready, we need to calm you down first."
"I don't think I can eat anything," Tadashi murmurs, looking pale.
"Socialising first it is. I warn you though, Sparkles is looking beautiful, so prepare yourself Freckles."
Leading them into the house, keeping his arm around Tadashi for support, they enter the kitchen where Hitoka and Keiji are still talking. This time Tetsurou notices them watching over food cooking in the oven, which makes sense.
"Hey, you guys came," Hitoka smiles warmly, her cheeks growing pink as her honey brown eyes land on Tadashi. Who is frozen, and staring… Oh shit.
"We got held up helping my brother with the fridge," Kei speaks up, saving his friend. It's even a convincing lie, the way the words roll off his tongue with a hint of annoyance make it sound genuine. Tetsurou's fairly certain that's just Kei's voice, but is impressed nonetheless. "Happy birthday Hitoka."
"Oh, thank you Kei," she says, taking the small pink wrapped present from him – that Tetsurou chose – and hugging him. It's awkward because of their height difference but even more awkward because Kei looks so stiff and uncomfortable – at least Lev returns the hugs, with gusto. Kei is clearly not a hugger, which is weird because Akiteru seems like one.
"H-Happy birthday Hitoka," Tadashi manages to get out, handing her a small present – to distract from the main event – and actually hugging her himself. It's short as they both seem to be nervous about it and the silence that follows is… Jesus—
"Okay, let's go see if Shrimpy and Lev have killed each other yet. Throwing Kou at them was probably a bad idea, like throwing fuel onto a fire," Tetsurou laughs – a little forced, he'll admit – and pulls Tadashi out of the room.
This may not be as simple as he thought.
An hour and a half later and Tadashi has finally calmed down. Kei has mostly been running interference between Tadashi and Hitoka, and actually doing an exceedingly good job of it. Thankfully, because Tetsurou has been left with the task of making sure Koutarou, Shouyou and Lev don't destroy everything in sight. It's fortunate they seem to be in a less destructive mood tonight, because Tetsurou is distracted.
The encounter with Spencer at lunch has been on Tetsurou's mind all day. It pissed him off, and continues to affect him more than he'd like. People can say whatever they want about Tetsurou – hell, they practically already do, even girls he's involved with and it doesn't even register – but as soon as someone says something about his friends, he sees red. Not only had Spencer suggested horrible things about Keiji and Koutarou but he called Kei a 'faggot' right in front of him... Honestly it was miraculous Tetsurou didn't hit the fucker.
Tetsurou's known about Kei's sexuality since he stood up for Keiji, but it's not like it changes anything, it's not like it changes who Kei is. He's Kei. Snarky, guarded, funny and surprisingly hardworking Kei. He doesn't deserve assholes calling him such horrible things. And yet he didn't even flinch, like he's used to the word. It worries Tetsurou. It reminds him of Hitoka telling him about Kei's 'personal problems' and his 'bad year'.
He's drawn from his thoughts when Kei approaches him, gold eyes flickering to Tetsurou's chest, and not for the first time.
"You checking me out Tsukki?" Tetsurou jokes as a way to draw himself from his distressing thoughts. He says teasing things like this to Koutarou all the time, but immediately feels awkward saying it to Kei. They probably haven't been friends long enough for homosexual attraction humour.
Kei only hesitates a moment before clicking his tongue in annoyance. "No, you conceited douche, I was wondering how many ridiculous cat print t-shirts you have. Though that one suits you," he adds with a smirk.
Tetsurou remembers the 'OCD: Obsessive Cat Disorder' t-shirt he was wearing through the day. The mocking in Kei's tone makes him frowns and then look down at his t-shirt. Printed on his chest is a cartoon of a laptop and an angry looking cat in front of it, the text underneath reads 'You aren't paying attention to me. This is unacceptable.'
"Wow, rude."
"You just asked if I was checking you out," Kei points out, a blond eyebrow raised.
"Touché," Tetsurou concedes, grinning. "And to answer your question I own a lot of ridiculous cat print t-shirts, I kinda collect them. Something to look forward to."
"Uh-huh… We should start on the 'masterplan' or we'll run out of time."
"Roger that, you and Tadashi have to go get it all set up whilst I distract our birthday girl… The question is, with what…"
"Don't know, that's your job," Kei drawls and turns to leave. "Good luck."
Tetsurou sets his attention on the room for the first time in a while. Shouyou and Koutarou are deep in another argument with Lev about basketball and Kenma is sitting near them looking rather dejected by the topic, and probably his lack of PSP to entertain him. Which makes a lightbulb brighten above Tetsurou's head.
Just after Tadashi dismisses himself from the conversation with Hitoka, Tetsurou approaches her, glad they're finally conversing easily.
"Hey, Sparkles, havin' fun?"
Hitoka smiles brightly. "Of course, I love hanging out with you guys!"
"That's what I like to hear! Do you have a gaming console? As much as I love basketball these idiots talk about it too much. And Ken needs something more his speed," Tetsurou remarks, nodding at the couch of their loud friends. Hitoka glances over and a knowing smile brightens her face; she spends more time with Kenma and Shouyou than Tetsurou, so it's no surprise she's noticed.
"Ah, yeah, I think we have a Wii somewhere."
"Where?" Tetsurou asks, possibly a little too abruptly, but he's worried about it being in her room, aka where Kei and Tadashi are currently preparing her present.
"I think it's set up in the front living room."
"Perfect."
Somehow Tetsurou manages to extricate Shouyou from the argument, probably with the fact that Kenma is coming too, and the three of them follow after the tiny blonde birthday girl. Kenma's scowling at him suspiciously and Shouyou looks excited and curious, though that's how he always looks.
When Hitoka turns on the console and they sit on the sofa, Shouyou cheers, enthusing to Kenma how much he loves Mario Kart and bragging about how good he is and how he plays with his little sister all the time. Kenma is smiling, a sparkle in his eye, as he listens attentively to Shouyou, that Tetsurou has never seen before.
Hitoka goes to leave once finished setting it up but Tetsurou stops her.
"Nah ah, no way, you're racing with us Sparkles!"
A competitive light shines in Hitoka's eyes as she accepts the controller Tetsurou offers and they all sit down to play.
It's a lot of fun, and Shouyou is swiftly, unabashedly, gushing over Kenma's skill. The redhead is using a whole lot of sounds to describe Kenma's amazingness that don't particularly make sense, but Kenma is blushing and smiling, as broadly as Tetsurou has ever seen, anyway. It's so fun, in fact, that they all lose track of time, and how many games they've played.
Due to their competitive shouting, Koutarou bursts into the room and demands a go and Tetsurou remembers, with a start, the masterplan. He's supposed to go check on Kei and Tadashi, so he offers his controller to Koutarou.
"And be careful of Sparkles, she fronts angelic innocence but is a demon with those damn shells!" Tetsurou chuckles and waits for another race to begin before carefully backing out of the room.
They've all known each other two years or longer, they've spent numerous birthdays and parties and summers at each other's houses, so Tetsurou knows the layout of Hitoka's house. He races up the stairs and bursts into her room, probably a little too forcefully considering the way Tadashi practically jumps out of his skin, looking nervous again.
"It's just me, how's it going?"
"We're finished," Kei responds.
Tetsurou gazes up at the various sized, polystyrene orbs hanging from the ceiling, painted as the planets in the solar system and surrounding the low hanging, round light in the centre of the ceiling, as the sun. It looks good, better than he expected. While the initial idea of 'bringing space to Sparkles' was Tetsurou's idea, all of this, the detailed design and execution, are all Tadashi.
Hitoka is going to love it.
"Holy shit, it looks awesome!" Tetsurou enthuses, walking about the room and reaching out to touch the plants hovering just above his head. "Dude, she's gonna flip! You ready to go Freckles?"
"I-I guess."
The tension in his voice makes Tetsurou glance at Tadashi, who looks ill again. Taking Tadashi's shoulders, he levels an earnest expression at him and smiles comfortingly.
"Tadashi, it'll be great, I promise," Tetsurou reassures him.
Swallowing hard, Tadashi makes his way to the door, taking in a deep breath before opening it.
"Oh, and don't say something like 'I've got a present for you in your room', sounds creepy."
"Then what do I say?"
"Er, yeah, not much way around the creepy…" Tetsurou mumbles, scratching at his chin thoughtfully. "Tell her that… Okay, you're gonna have to go with the truth, say you set up a solar system in her room. Sounds silly enough to make her more curious than creeped out."
Tadashi nods. "R-Right. Oh and check the stars when I go."
When he closes the door Tetsurou glances back at Kei. "Shit, do you think he'll be okay?"
"Only one way to find out," he shrugs, eyes focussed on the planets. "Turn the lights off."
Tetsurou lets out a nervous breath of his own as his finger hovers over the light switch. While the planets and solar system are cool they're nothing if this doesn't work. Closing his eyes he flicks the switch off. Kei doesn't make a sound, gives no helpful inclination that it works, so Tetsurou slowly opens his eyes and a smile immediately stretches his lips.
Covering the walls and ceiling are hundreds of glow in the dark stars. They're bright and illuminate the room. Tetsurou's eyes roam over the ceiling, even spotting some constellations in them, until he looks at Kei. Who is staring at him? Or, it seems that way. It's difficult to tell with the starry reflection across Kei's black-rimmed glasses. Tetsurou lets out a shaky breath, because even if he can't see it, he can feel Kei's intense gaze on him.
"Thank you," Kei says sincerely. "For helping, for caring."
Swallowing hard Tetsurou gives him a small smile. "Freckles and Sparkles are my friends, of course I care about them."
"Just because they're a part of your life," he speaks slowly, voice thick with emotion, "doesn't mean you have to care about them."
The smile drops off Tetsurou's face and he feels something tug painfully at his heart.
Before he can say anything, before he can ask, Tetsurou hears someone walking up the stairs. Mumbling a curse, Tetsurou grips Kei's wrist and pulls him quickly out of the room and into the small bathroom next door. He barely gets the door closed before he hears footsteps pass by.
Listening carefully, Tetsurou hears Hitoka's sharp intake of breath as Tadashi opens the door for her and she whispers an awed 'oh my God'. Tetsurou smiles when he hears her say how beautiful it is before the door closes and the voices get muffled. And then he's suddenly aware of the fact that he's eavesdropping from a bathroom.
"Mission successful!" Tetsurou whispers, pumping his fist and grinning back at Kei, who's smiling warmly. "Wanna go play Mario Kart?"
Kei nods. "Sure."