Chapter 7- Epilogue
Author's note: The stardate of "First Contact" is 50893.5, which puts it towards the end of DS9's 5th season, even though in real time the movie was released in theaters towards the beginning of the season. I am using the in-universe stardate timing, which means that the events of the Enterprise-E engaging the Borg happen sometime after "Children of Time" and not long before Worf and Jadzia agree to marry in the DS9 5th season finale.
2373
Home. For the first time in as long as he could remember, Worf felt like he was home. Not because he was on Earth or Qo'noS. Nor because he was on the Enterprise, or DS9, or even the Defiant. Worf was home because he was with Jadzia Dax. They'd found their way to his tiny quarters on the Defiant after leaving the transporter room on the Enterprise- E. Thankfully the damage to this deck of the Defiant was minimal and there were no work crews to interrupt their reunion. These quarters were where he lived when the Defiant was docked at DS9 because he preferred it to living on the station. At least that was the case at first. These days he spent quite a bit of time on the station, specifically in the crew quarters of his par'Mach'kai.
Right now they were making the best of the tight space. Jadzia was perched on his small desk with Worf standing before her, her arms wrapped around him and his wrapped around her in return. It was a week ago that Worf had taken the Defiant out on training exercises with the junior crewmen. While they were out, the ship was unexpectedly called to defend Earth against a Borg attack. The Enterprise joined the attack and when the Defiant was disabled, Worf and the crew were beamed aboard.
"So you missed, me, huh?" Jadzia said breathlessly as their lips parted.
"More than you can know."
"Is that so..." her hands reached for the waistband of his uniform as she whispered seductively, "Then how about you show me?"
As much as he was aching to do just that, Worf instead took her hands in his, "Jadzia, there is something I wish to say to you…"
Her brow furrowed slightly with worry, "What is it?"
"I," Worf took a deep breath, "I want you to be my wife."
Jadzia sighed, "Worf, do we have to do this now? I do not want to argue with you about this today."
"Please, hear me. I know that when you and I first came together, I insisted upon marriage to keep with Klingon customs."
"And I made it clear that I'm not going to marry anyone just to satisfy some outdated tradition," Jadzia replied defensively.
"Nor should you. You were right to say no to me then. We were not ready, we did not have what we do now. I ask now not out of tradition, but for no other reason than because I love you. And because there is no version of my life that I can imagine that does not have you in it."
About a month ago on their ill-fated mission to Gaia, the crew came face to face with a possible future that never came to fruition. While they were there, Jadzia got the unique opportunity of speaking to a future (or was it past?) host who had memories of marrying and building a life with Worf. A good life. It was the first time she'd allowed herself to really accept the possibility that this thing with Worf could last the rest of her life, and that she would be happy if it did.
"Worf, I don't know what to say…"
"You could say yes."
There was still so much to consider. Just the logistics of the two of them, both Starfleet officers dedicated to their work, being married had to be discussed. "Worf, it's not that simple. What about our careers? What if one of us is reassigned? Or promoted? What if you want to go live in the Empire or if I want to go back to Trill?"
"I am willing to do whatever and to go wherever life takes us."
Worf had always been open with her, but Jadzia had never heard such rawness, such vulnerability in his voice before. He meant every word he was saying without question.
Tenderly, Jadzia placed a hand on his broad chest, "Worf, I'm not ready to say yes to you just yet," she began quietly. After a pause, she looked into those dark, emotional eyes of his, "But I am not saying no either."
Worf nodded, "Then I will wait. I will wait as long as you need."
"I do love you, very much."
"I know you do," Worf said with a smirk, "That is why I am willing to wait."
She shook her head and grinned, "What am I going to do with you?"
"You could marry me."
That put a smirk on her lips, "Besides that."
Worf lowered his voice. "Let me show you how much I missed you…"
"Ahhh, now that I can do."
After being at Utopia Planitia shipyards for a few more days, the Defiant was in good enough shape to make the trip back to Deep Space Nine. Chief O'Brien could oversee the rest of the repairs from there. The night before the crew was scheduled to head back to the Bajoran sector, the senior staff of the Enterprise-E put together a small reception for Worf and Miles as a way to both welcome them back and say goodbye to them again. Jadzia had at first planned to stay on the Defiant with the rest of its crew but Worf insisted she accompany him. She agreed and Worf hadn't left her side the whole time.
"What's going on with you tonight?"
"Nothing," he replied without looking at her.
"You seem anxious."
"How long do you think we have to stay?"
"These are your friends Worf. You have told me yourself this crew was like a family to you."
Worf sighed. Captain Picard was seated in a chair with Counselor Troi on his left and Dr. Crusher on his right, the three of them chattering away. A few paces beyond them, Commanders Riker, Data and LaForge stood with Chief O'Brien, laughing at some old story about a holodeck.
"They are," Worf replied, "But it is as if nothing has changed for any of them. My life has moved forward, and being here with them feels like going back in time. I enjoyed my time on the Enterprise but, that time has passed. And this is not my Enterprise."
That made perfect sense to Dax, "I get it. And no one is happier that you decided to move on than me. But that doesn't mean you can't be a little nostalgic with them for old time's sake."
"A warrior does not dwell on the past."
"Save it, Worf," Dax said with an eye roll. Go talk to your friends. You and I see each other all the time."
He conceded and walked over to Chief O'Brien and the others to join in on the reminiscing. Jadzia absently wandered over to one of the view ports and looked out onto the shipyard while taking a sip from her glass.
"I bet your view on the space station is very different from this."
Jadzia turned her head and saw Counselor Troi standing there next to her, "Not really, we have ships docked all the time. They're just all complete. And not all Starfleet issued."
Deanna smiled nervously. She wasn't quite sure why she'd felt compelled to come talk to Worf's companion for the evening. When she saw the Trill standing alone at the windows she figured now would probably be the only chance she ever got to speak to her. What she wanted to say, she had no idea. Deanna really just wanted to know something, anything, about this mysterious woman that had, for lack of a better term, swept Worf off his feet.
"I'm sure you'll be happy to be back home."
Jadzia could recognize awkward small talk when she heard it and decided to play along, "Oh yes. It will be nice to get back to life as usual."
"Thank you for coming this evening. I put this together for Worf and Chief O'Brien since they served with us for so long, but I am glad Worf brought you along as well."
Oh, so this was her idea, Jadzia thought to herself. Worf had told Jadzia all about his relationship with Deanna Troi. Now this was making more sense, "I feel a bit like a third wheel," Jadzia began, "I wanted to give him his space to catch up with all of you but Worf insisted that I come," Jadzia put emphasis on 'insisted' so Deanna would know without question where his loyalties lie.
Confidence was the emotion Deanna could sense from Dax the most. It bordered on cockiness, which surprised Troi given how humble and modest Worf could be. Deanna could tell that Jadzia knew way more about her than she knew about Dax and what was worse was that Jadzia knew it. Dax was a joined Trill, a wise one at that, whose collective life experiences were worth more than all Deanna's empathic abilities. Troi knew the only way to approach this was to be straightforward and honest, Dax would be able to see right through anything else.
"I came over here because I wanted to talk to you about Worf."
"Why don't you talk to Worf about Worf?"
"He is so guarded with me now and I couldn't figure out why" Deanna began, "Until I met you."
"What would you like to know?"
There was so much that she wanted to know, most of which was completely unreasonable to even ask Dax. Deanna thought for a moment before finally asking, "Is he happy?"
Her question caught Jadzia off guard. She wasn't sure what she was expecting the counselor to ask, but something as simple as that definitely wasn't it, "Is he happy?" she repeated.
"He's been through so much," Deanna cast her gaze towards the group of men where Worf stood, and then back to Commander Dax, "He was my friend for many years and I grew to care about him very much. I heard of all the things that have happened to him, his son going back to Earth and then all the issues with the Klingon Empire, and I have been so worried. He has been through so much already, I feel so sorry for him."
Jadzia frowned. One thing she knew more than anything about Worf was that he despised pity, most Klingons did. To them, feeling sorry for a person means you think their weaknesses were greater than their strength to overcome them. How someone who had supposedly been close to him for so long wouldn't know that seemed odd, "You don't have to feel sorry for him," Dax replied, "Yes, Worf has had a rough few years. He lost a lot when he went against Gowron and the Empire. But he kept going, as he has his entire life, and has found success in new places," It was Jadzia's turn to look in Worf's direction, but instead of pity, she felt pride.
Deanna shook her head, "I did not mean any offense-"
"Oh, I know you didn't. Feeling sorry for someone who has had to endure all Worf has is a reasonable response for most. Just not for him."
"You love him very much." Counselor Troi's words were a declaration, not a question.
Jadzia blushed and lowered her eyes momentarily, "I do. And I apologize for coming off so defensively. He has been through a lot, more than you probably know, and I'm very protective of him."
"I'm sure you know this already but he loves you too," Deanna paused, letting the realization sink in, "Very much."
Dax knew Counselor Troi was an empath, so her words were not merely speculation, "He can sometimes be a hard man to love," Jadzia admitted honestly.
The two women were quiet for a moment because Counselor Troi spoke up again, "This might seem like an odd question… you might not even know what I am talking about…"
"Yes?"
Deanna hesitated even asking this, but she might as well at this point, "Has Worf ever told you what happened to him on Gault? Something that caused the family to leave?"
Jadzia frowned. Worf had never hesitated to share things about himself with her, even before the were a couple. She knew exactly what Deanna was referring to and couldn't figure out why she'd bring up such a thing right now, "You mean the colony he lived on until he was thirteen?" Dax replied with a whisper. Worf would never want this to be common knowledge.
"Yes. Then you know?"
"Yes, but-" Jadzia stopped before revealing anything else, "Why do you ask?"
Troi shook her head, "He would never tell me. It was too personal and he didn't trust me with it."
Just then, Jadzia realized what it was that Counselor Troi was after; she needed closure. And Jadzia was not the person to give it to her, "Counselor, wait right here for a moment."
Dax left the window and walked over to the group men Worf was standing with, "Excuse me, boys. Worf, there is someone I think you need to speak to."
Worf looked to where Jadzia was motioning and his eyes widened like she had never seen before. His mouth opened wordlessly, his whole body was screaming No way. Jadzia could read him as if she were the empath and she squeezed his hand, "Please." she said definitively and in a way that made it clear she wasn't asking him, she was telling him.
"Deanna."
She smiled and shook her head, "I can't believe she made you come over here."
"That is Jadzia."
"She definitely knows you."
"She does," Worf paused, he could feel the eyes on them, "Perhaps we should step into the corridor.
"Yes."
Once the doors swished closed they both breathed a sigh of relief and their shoulders relaxed. Worf spoke first, saying the thing he'd needed to say for two years now, "Deanna, I am truly sorry."
She could feel tears welling in her eyes that came from emotions she thought she'd dealt with long ago, "You don't have anything to be sorry about. We were never meant to be. We wanted to make something work that just wasn't supposed to."
"I agree… but I am sorry nonetheless. If I caused you pain in any way please know that was never my intention."
All the things she'd wanted to ask him just didn't seem to matter anymore. She knew why he never contacted her, it was the same reason she hadn't contacted him. She knew why he accepted the post on DS9. She knew why they weren't together anymore.
"I am genuinely happy that you have found someone to love."
"You already have that someone. You always have."
Deanna felt her chest tighten, "What are you talking about?"
"I do not know why you and Commander Riker continue to deny what is obvious to everyone around you. He is your par'Mach'kai, your…" Worf tried to remember the Betazoid word Deanna has taught him, "Your Imzadi. It was never me."
"It's complicated, Worf-"
"No," he replied, his voice sounding almost angry, "It is not. If anyone knows about what is complicated, it is me. Yet when it comes to Jadzia, things could not be simpler. I love her and everything else falls in line behind that."
"I suppose he and I just aren't there yet."
"Then he is a fool."
"Perhaps," Deanna smiled, "But he's my fool."
The two reached out and hugged one another, the way they would have years ago when they were just two friends serving together on the Enterprise-D.
"I think it's time for me to say goodnight. If you don't mind making my apologies to the others..."
"Of course."
Deanna took his hand in hers one last time. His larger hand seemed to swallow her petite one, "Goodbye, Worf."
"We will see one another again."
She nodded, "I'm sure we will. But this is goodbye nonetheless."
He nodded as well, he knew what she meant, "Yes, it is. Goodbye, Deanna."
Counselor Troi headed down the long corridor and Worf watched her until she rounded a corner and was out of sight. He decided to see if he could pull Jadzia away from the party, which was never an easy thing to do. Worf was ready to call it a night as well. It was time to go home.
~finis
February 2, 2017
A little trivia for my FanFic readers… what did happen on Gault when Worf was 13? I put this in the story because I felt like the moment where Worf shares this with Jadzia was a turning point for them. It was clear that he'd never opened up to anyone else the way he was opening up to her and that to me was the big difference between his relationship with Jadzia vs. Deanna.