Chapter IV: How it could be
I groan. I know who it is at my door.
Again she knocks.
'SAKURA!'
Her high-pitch scream make me cringe and I want to roll my eyes at the dramatic act she's pulling at my front door. I pull the covers over my face, knowing that even though I hide myself from the room, I will not evaporate in to thin air. No matter how hard I concentrate.
'SAKURA!' she repeats.
With a huff I throw the sheets off myself and I yell back. 'Moment, Ino-PIG!'
I emphasis the last part hoping it will at least annoy her as much as her screaming annoys me. I take a glimpse at the mirror before opening the door. I don't look too good but there is no time to cover it up. I drag my feet and open the door with a sigh. I already look bad so I worsen it by looking as unappreciative as I can. I don't feel like talking to her. She annoys me. More than ever.
'What is it, pig?' I ask dryly.
Ino pushes me aside and invites herself in. I can tell she's in a lighthearted mood, making her louder than usual and incredibly understandable. Which is a nice way of saying she was going to put her nose in my business, as usual, and act as if she knew all the answers to my problems.
'Why are you in here? It's such a beautiful day!' she squeals excitingly while opening the windows.
It has snowed and the entire village is covered, the clear blue sky only make the view more surreal. I can't help but stare and actual appreciate her opening the windows to make me see the world around me.
At least some things were still worth seeing.
Turning on her heels, she puts her hands on her hips and gives me a typical look of disapproval.
'I worry about you,' she then adds.
I roll my eyes and let out another sigh. 'Why?'
'Because all you do is sit by yourself! You're always so quiet! Everyone is worrying about you!'
'There is nothing going on,' I shrug. And I mean that. I don't think there is anything anyone could do for me. I really don't mind being alone. I don't hate my life. I just… I don't know how to express it, so I don't. I just shrug it off.
'Come on! Sai and I are going to go to the main street! There are like a ton of stances! Food, hot coco! You know things we love—you love, I correct her in my mind—and we want you to come with us!' she happily announces. It is not a real invite nor is it a mere suggestion. It is a fact. Something I'd have to do to please her and to keep everyone content. Or else something really could be wrong with me.
I keep a distance. I feel like a child being taken out by her parents. An overgrown child, a voice in my head snide. I feel stupid and out of place. I see Ino holding onto Sai, for dear life. It annoys me.
I halt, pretending to look at the stance of the uninteresting decoration shop. I bite the inside of my cheek. Thinking. Again.
Why I can't be like that?
I take a glance at the two and all sort of thoughts run through my head.
Happy. Unrestricted. In love. Odd. Unfitting. Together.
A glimpse of how it could be, the snide voice remarks. I nod.
But not how it is, I say back.