Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders or the song Mirror.

You looking at me but I'm lookin through you. I see the blood in your eyes. I see the love in disguise. I see the pain hidden in your pride. I see you're not satisfied. And I don't see nobody else. I see myself I'm looking at the...

I crossed through the hallway. It was quieter in the day. It was nothing like before. I was still on edge, remembering everything as I past. There had been many tears shed here and there would be for some time. Chills ran down my spin as I read the numbers on each door. I knew his room number by heart. I, only now, came face-to-face with it.

The door was open. I stood and leaned on it, not quite wanting to enter. I just wanted him to feel me here. I wanted him to know...I wanted him to know...

"Hey So," I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

This was the first time I'd seen him since that night when he was being wheeled down the hall. I could only make out his eyes, nose, and hair. Bandages held up the rest of his head and arms, hiding his burned flesh. He looked like a mummy. Not just because of the bandages either.

There was something about this room. It felt cold. There was no light either. The atmosphere was tense and sad. I felt very uneasy in the room. Maybe it was the day. The day everything feel down. This day. Today. I was told Soda was going to die. Plain and simple.

I wondered if he knew himself. Was he sleeping or was he in-between life and death, just in some strange state? Could he see and hear everything going on or was his mind blank? If only he could hear everything.

My heart was beating faster. It had been since I left home. I felt bad, leaving Darry like that. It wasn't his fault Soda was going to die. I had other people I could blame. I had tons. Marilyn. Randy. Marilyn started the fire that killed Soda. I could easily pin everything on her and be done with it. I didn't blame anyone though. I was tired of pointing fingers. That's how this all started.

Soda deserved better. He deserved to know the truth. Why he was dying and what he was dying for. Was he dying for anything really? Soda deserved to know though. He would at some point. That's what I'd like to think anyway. He should hear it from the bird's mouth though. He should hear me say it. He deserved that much.

Just one person. Tell one person.

My mouth watered. There was a shaky feeling going on in my lower half. I looked away and breathed in. Just say it. Tell him. You tell him everything anyway. What makes this time any different? Oh, that's right. You've never told anyone. Never told the story. It was supposed to be put away and never pulled out again.

Maybe it was time to dust.

"I'm so sorry, Soda," I breathed uneasily, holding back sobs. "I'm so sorry!"

All kinds of memories came flooding back. It was amusing in a way. It would have really been if things were different and I didn't know what I did. I would be laughing right now as I walked through this place. I'd be laughing loud.

He hadn't changed. Why would he? He'd only been in here for a couple of days and that was only because he didn't have enough for bail. This was just time-out until the real deal. Time was ticking away though. Racing against time. Again.

His face was different though. His body language. Every other time I came here in the past, he was all smiles, sometimes even laughing. Dally likes jail. That's what he's always told me. Today, he doesn't look like he likes it anymore.

"Hey," I sat down in front of him. He nodded at me. He seemed somewhat drained and sickly. I was expecting that though. "How are you doing?"

He shrugged like he didn't care. Why should he care? His fate had already been decided a long time ago. "How is he?"

My hand started shaking. I grabbed it with my other one. I was tired of this. This feeling. "Not...not good, Dal."

He cussed, punching the table and lowering his head. He stayed there for a minute and then slowly rose up and rubbed his face over. "What now?"

"Darry says there's nothing else," I said softly. "Nothing else anyone can do. He's going...Soda's gonna die tomorrow."

He looked everywhere but at me. He was taking it in. I saw anger in him though and I didn't blame him. I wanted to be angry too. I wanted to be anything but sad but that wasn't going to help anything. Getting angry doesn't help anything. We all know this now.

Being angry at your enemies only makes them happy. You wish that, for example, your enemies become ugly but when you're are
angry, even if you are well bathed, beautifully dressed, perfect teeth and smile, shimmering blonde hair, you become ugly yourself because of this anger burning deep inside of you. Isn't that what your enemy wants? So what's the point of being angry?

Getting angry doesn't do anyone any good. It's something I should have learned a long time ago. Shrugging it off, and coming clean, that gets results. Growing up gets results. We're not kids anymore. Things aren't so hidden. Things become obvious and there's just some things we just need to do.

"So that's it?" he asked, a bit irritated. "Sodapop's just gonna die tomorrow? Just like that? Fuck!"

I stared at my shoes. I didn't want to see him throw his temper tantrum. He was only trowing it because he was in here, in the cage, while on the outside, people were dying, and he couldn't do a damn thing to stop it. Dally likes to be in control. Can't control this.

He leaned back and crossed his arms. "Shouldn't have made 'im fight." He shook his head and slammed the table again. "Fucking kid!"

We all shouldn't have done a lot of things. "Marilyn started the fire. Her and Jane. Jane's dead."

He didn't know these people. I doubt he could have picked Marilyn out in a crowd. That night was the first time he really saw her. Dally didn't care about Marilyn and Jane right now. Randy was on his mind. Michael was on his mind. He wanted them.

"How are you?"

I shrugged just like he had done before. "I don't know."

"You talked to them?" He leaned forward, getting close to me. "Randy and them?"

My hand trembled again and I tightened my grip. I grabbed my shaking hand. "At the hospital that night."

He took notice of my actions. His eyes widened and he watched my hand. "What did they say? What did they say to you? They better not have done anything! Did they?"

My head began to pound. "I just talk to them that night. I don't know. I need to talk to Randy about some things and all of this. I just need some answers and I need him to tell me somethings and I need to tell him...I just need...something!"

"You don't want to tell me anything?" he asked.

My head darted. "What?"

He rolled his eyes and leaned back, crossing his arms again. "You seem to want to talk to Randy about something."

"About that night," I explained. "I just...I need to know what happened. I need to have some answers as to what was going through their heads. Did you hear about Michael?"

His voice rumbled, "I don't give a fuck about Michael. Why do you wanna know that shit? Don't you know enough? They started the fire and they meant to. Don't mess with them, Curtis. Who cares?"

"I care," I answered. "I care because I'm losing my brother tomorrow. I care because you're in here. I want to know what we're fighting for! I want to know what happened to Sam damnit!"

It was dead silent. I didn't expect to come here and argue. Dally was just as confused and hurt as I was. I sometimes forget that him and my brothers are friends and he does care about them as well as me. Randy has one thing I want though and he's the one person I can talk to about this. Maybe Dally's right though. Maybe it's time to cut the strings. Randy isn't the same anymore.

"What does Sam have to do with anything?" he asked calmly.

I cleared my throat and shook my head I whispered to myself, everything. "I'm sorry. I'm just...I got a lot on my mind."

"Yeah," he said. "Me too."

I stared at him. How could I forget? "Any idea on how this is going to go?"

"It ain't lookin' so good," he said simply. He rubbed his face and I noticed the dark circles for the first time. "Gonna try an' get these fuckers though. Can't do it locked in here. I'm gonna get out of this house!"

I wanted to touch him. I wanted to feel the warmth of his hand on top of mine. "You're going to fight. I'm going to fight. We've given up too much to end up with shit. We're gonna fight, Dally. I'm going to try an' fix this...for all of us. I'm going to fix everything."

He nodded. He looked into my eyes. "Ey, do me a favor."

"Sure."

"Tell Sodapop..." he paused. "Tell Sodapop not to give up...for Dallas."

Rain was pouring down outside. This day had already started off bad. Randy sat at the window and watched as rain droplets raced each other to the bottom. He was supposed to go to the hospital and see Mike today. He was up. Marilyn called last night to tell him the news. She sounded relieve though at the same time, Randy could see the hand-print on her cheek.

He should go. Mike's his friend and he is hurt. He didn't want to run into anyone there though. He didn't really know how he felt about Michael anyway. Not right now. Everything he had told him...it'd been a lie. The things Randy did - all those people - did Michael even understand what they had did? Had it even occurred to him. It's all about winning to the James'. Marilyn got it now though.

Cops were starting to pound on them with questions. Marilyn was taking the most blows. She couldn't handle them though and broke again, this time spending the night at the hospital where her parents found her. That didn't help matters.

Randy had stayed away from the cops for the most part considering his uncle was the District Attorney. He knew the questions would come to him and he'd have his turn. What did he tell them? He didn't start the fire. He didn't do anything but fight and stand back and watch everything unfold and unfold horribly.

"Shouldn't you be doing homework?" his mother asked. "Winter break hasn't started yet."

Randy sighed and continued to stare at the rain. She knew stuff - his mother. Just by her tone, he could tell. "I got it done, Ma."

"What are you doing all day then?" she asked with a sharp bite. "I don't expect you to be sitting around the house all day."

He bit his tongue. This was his mother after all and he knew better than to bark back at her. "I'm tired, Ma. I need some space for a while. It's been a rough past few days."

She did her long, signature, sigh. "I hear. Did you hear about Danni's brother?"

"Yeah."

"It's a shame," she said, her heels moving closer to Randy. "For it to happen that way especially. You'd think people would understand, after going through a loss themselves, how much it hurts and how they wouldn't wish that pain on anyone."

Randy's hands balled up into fists. She was doing this on purpose. "Don't bring up Sam. Just don't."

"The cops arrested Dallas Winston - Danni's boyfriend," she stated. "He did it? That's what the cops are saying. It's funny to me though. Why would he come through and just say he did it with so much on the line? Then Danni not even protesting it from what I can tell. Then you, how do you play into this Randy? Have you talked to Danni?"

Randy's breath grew shorter and faster. "No. We're not friends anymore. I don't know about Dally. Maybe he felt guilty. I don't know!"

"Guilty?" she asked. "I didn't know you young people felt that anymore. You guys are just so good at hiding things. Maybe he does feel guilty but why, a guy like him, come clean? He's got everything going for him. Why throw it away like that?"

Randy swallowed. "People make mistakes."

Mrs. Adderson cleared her throat making Randy feel her right behind him. "That they do. How is Marilyn and Michael anyway?"

Randy looked at his mother for the first time. Her eyes were cold towards him. "What are you doing?"

"I'm not stupid," she stated clearly. "I know when people hide things from me. I know when my son does something wrong."

Randy scowled at her, growing tired of her games. "I didn't do anything if that's what you're implying. Please, I've had a really hard time and you know just as well as anyone that-"

"How's Danni?" she asked. "Do you care? Jane's dead. Do you care? Randy, Danni's brother is dead. Do you-"

"Of course I care!" he shouted, getting up this time and standing over his mother's tiny body. "I'm tired of this! What are you doing? I can't help it that Jane and Sam are dead. I can't help it that Danni's brother is dead. I can't, Mom!"

She studied her son. Randy didn't back down though. He'd had enough. "Why did you and Danni break up?"

Randy made a face. "What?"

"Why did-"

"I heard what you said! I just don't understand what that has to do with anything."

She crossed her arms and said softly: "It has to do with everything."

"You don't know what you're talking about!"

Mrs. Adderson took a strong step forward and waved a finger in Randy's face, her teeth grinding. "Don't you talk to me that way! I'm just trying to figure all this out and if you think I don't see it clear as day then you are more out of your mind than I thought!"

Randy was taken aback from what she was saying. How much did she know? It wasn't that obvious. Why would she ask about Danni like that though? Had Danni told her something? It wasn't obvious. Only four people in this world knew. Only four now. No one else.

Randy stood quietly. He wondered though...had Danni ever told Dally?

"I. Didn't. Do. Anything."

Mrs. Adderson came face-to-face with her son. "You can't lie forever, Randy." Tears started to fall from her eyes. "You can't." Randy rushed to the door, grabbing his coat from the hanger. "Please, Randy! Just tell me it's not true."

Randy stared at his beautiful mother. The mother whom he loved so much. He saw her tears and he wanted to clean her face from them just like she did him. He wanted to give her the truth. God he did. "I can't."

And he ran out into the freezing cold rain, sobbing out everything he had held back for two years.

Lookin at me now I can see my past. Damn I look just like my f-ckin dad. Light it up, that's smokin' mirrors. I even look good in the broken mirror. I see my momma smile thats a blessin. I see the change, I see the message and no message could been any clearer. So I'm stared with the man in the...

He ran through the park. His clothes were drenched and his shoes had pints of water in them. He didn't seem to even notice right now. He couldn't see anything but he didn't need to see. He knew this place like the back of his hand. It haunted him even, but today, he was running to this spot and nothing was going to stop him.

He leaned on the big Holly tree and looked out into the large stretch of land in front of him. He saw the spot. His tears clouded his vision to where he only saw it for a second. He didn't need to see it again though. He saw that night and that was enough for him.

Sam.

He could see Sam's smile in his sleep. Sam had been Randy's best friend since they were in diapers. Randy had trusted Sam and saw him as a brother. Randy never questioned Sam until that night but Sam always reassured Randy. The bastard was dead now. Randy couldn't help but be angry at the stupid son-of-a-bitch. He drug them all into this and now what?

Randy's tears came out faster and in more loads. Randy knew he was wrong. He knew everything he had been doing was wrong for two years. People tried to tell him. Danni had tried to tell him but he didn't listen. He was seeing it now though. People were dying. People who didn't deserve to die. Good people. Jane and Soda.

His fingers dug into the bark of the tree and he pressed his head against the coldness of it.

Michael was never his friend. He should have saw what all the drugs were doing. He should have known that night when they went to that building with all those hippies and druggies. He should have known what that was in that bag. He did know but as always, Randy kept his mouth shut and just obeyed orders.

Randy kept his mouth shut after he heard the plan. He knew this was going to happen and he had known for some time and deep down, he knew it was wrong, yet, he said nothing. He let Michael and Marilyn throw everything up in flames and he busted out right then like a coward. Wasn't that the worst? Knowing, running. Worse than actually setting the fire?

Randy knew it was.

For so long, he never understood greasers and what they stood for. He didn't understand why they thought so poorly of his side. He figured it was money. He pretended that was the reason even two years ago when he got into this mess. When he let Sam get them all into this hell of a mess. He did it. Randy was just as worse as Sam.

He needed to change. This wasn't what he wanted. These lives were on his hands and he couldn't say anything that wouldn't make it true. The people he treated so poorly, they didn't deserve that. Dallas Winston didn't deserve to be in jail. Randy knew he didn't do it. It was like Danni said, Dally was more of a man than Randy and Randy knew it now. He knew just what she meant and she was right.

Randy continued to cry. He had apologized so many times to nothing but the wind. Who was he going to say it to? Sam told Randy it would all be fine and it was until Sam died and left Randy and Michael to take over only to fail. But did Sam's death bring this back up? Or was it just Danni bringing it up again?

Or was Sam's death related to what happened at this very spot two years ago?

Mirror on the wall, here we are again through my rise and fall. You've been my only friend. You told me that they can understand the man I am. So why are we here talkin' to each other again?

A/N: For anyone who knows where the anger and enemies ties into, you get bonus points!