The court feels good underfoot as Tetsurou bounces on his toes before reaching down to touch them, stretching out his muscles. He's so ready for this. He's so ready to just play basketball, all week, not having to worry about personal drama or school. Just basketball drills, basketball strategy, basketball players, basketball teammates. Basketball is all he needs. Basketball and his friends.
Kei stands next to him, fingers flexing where they're laced together. He's nervous, but the excited kind of nervous. Tetsurou can see the sparkle of anticipation in his brilliant golden eyes and it makes him happy. It's their first real game playing together, even though it's simply a practice game, and Tetsurou is eager to see how they work together on court.
"Go over it again," Tetsurou prompts and Kei sighs.
"Seriously? I've explained twice now."
"Again," Koutarou demands, his voice lacking its usual cheerfulness with his game face on.
Kei clicks his tongue but obeys. "Tobio Kageyama, dubbed a genius due to his natural ability and complete vision of the court, he's instinctive and always makes the best possible choice. It's also his biggest weakness, discovering what that best possible choice is, before he makes it, is how we counteract him."
Tetsurou glances at Keiji, who, ever calm and focused, nods his understanding. Kei and Tobio went to Middle School together, they played together for two years and of course the rest of the team knows him from his time at Seijou. Having played Tobio last year in a practice game he's the one Tetsurou's least concerned about in terms of surprises. In terms of skill, however, Tobio's certainly dangerous.
"Daichi Sawamura, he's a strong leader and is respected by his team, able to boost morale with only a few words. Daichi's as physically strong as Kou but has a lower centre of gravity, which means he will beat you if you battle on his terms, on the ground under the hoop. You're much stronger than him in the air and above your head Tetsu, so fight him there."
"Roger that," Tetsurou says, grinning and patting Kei on the shoulder appreciatively.
"Ryuunosuke Tanaka, is powerful, as powerful as you, Kou, but not as experienced. You should be able to handle him, as long as you keep an eye on him. He's skilful and quick, don't let him get the upper hand because once he gets on a roll he's very difficult to stop."
"I got this!" Koutarou cheers, bouncing on his feet and rolling his neck.
"Asahi's… I've never seen him play shooting guard before so I'm not sure what to expect of him. He's certainly capable and an amazing shot, but I don't know what to expect of him, skills wise."
"Yeah, wasn't he a power forward? What's with that?" Koutarou questions, raising an eyebrow. "You never said."
Kei glances down at his fingers, twisting them, uncomfortable with the conversation. He's told Tetsurou of course, of Karasuno basketball team's competitive year from hell. The year they had the perfect team and were bound to go far when it all came crumbling down around them.
"He was injured last year, ankle injury, he's still recovering," Kei explains, adjusting the straps of his sports glasses as he gazes across the court at his old teammate. "Playing in the pressure of the scoring zone is too much for his body to take. He has more control on the outside. Whether or not it's a new position, Asahi's an extremely talented basketballer and I need to be cautious."
Tetsurou's eyebrows raise and he stares at Kei in surprise. It's the highest praise he's heard Kei give anyone. With how quiet they are, the rest of the team is just as stunned. Kei continues on before they can say anything.
"Yuu Nishinoya will be our biggest concern. He's smarter, faster, more agile and more experienced than you," Kei says, watching Shouyou from the corner of his eye. There is nothing antagonistic in Kei's tone but Shouyou bristles, annoyed anyway. "But you're the only one fast enough, who we can spare, to cover him. Defend him, stay with him, and don't even consider attempting to score unless Keiji deems it the best option."
"Who the hell died and left you in charge?" Shouyou growls, his hands curled into fists.
Kei rolls his eyes but Tetsurou speaks before they start arguing. "Shou, didn't you say yourself that you respect Yuu and that you want to be just like him?" Shouyou nods vigorously. "Well, now is your opportunity to learn from him. Focus on him, follow his movements and defend him."
"Listen up kiddos," Keishin, approaching from where he was talking to Hitoka. "This is a practice game, with much less to prove than the Seijou game. Take it slow, take it easy. We've got many more games to play today and we'll be playing them all week. No need to go all out. Get a feel for them and how they play."
A whistle blows.
"A'ight, let's have some fun," Tetsurou says, grinning broadly as he walks out onto the court.
He examines the Karasuno players as he moves to the centre for hit out. Like his own team, they all seem to be various levels of excited and focussed. Yuu and Ryuu are excitable, jumping around enthusiastically, while Daichi looks calm and Asahi looks nervous.
Tetsurou's gaze catches on Tobio. The kid is tall and solid for his age, his dark hair falling over his head much more neatly than Tetsurou's. Tobio's expression is unreadable, somewhere between impassive and a scowl. He mostly looks vague and unfocused, but in those dark blue eyes Tetsurou can see the subtle calculations. Tetsurou can see the genius behind the 'idiot' Kei claims him to be.
As Kei walks past, Tobio's gaze follows him, eyes narrowing warily. Kei either doesn't notice or purposely disregards him. Tobio hasn't paid much attention to anyone else on their team, not even his opponent in Keiji. Yet he seems concerned about Kei, he knows as well as anyone here what Kei is capable of. It's true, Kei's skill will be incredibly damaging in games, but if Tobio thinks that's the worst of his problems he has another thing coming.
"Yo, Tsukki, you got an unfair advantage with all that info you've got on us," Ryuu comments, shoving Kei playfully in the arm.
"And you have no information on us, right?" Kei says, smirking as he nods his head at Koushi and Kiyoko who are talking on the sidelines.
Koushi seems to notice Kei's attention on him and winks at Kei mischievously. Kei says that Kiyoko is an even better data collector than Hitoka, and that Koushi understands people, can read them and knows how they think. Knowing the ins and outs of how the opposition plays is a massive part of basketball. Koushi and Kiyoko are huge assets for Karasuno.
Grinning at Daichi, who smiles tightly at him in turn, Tetsurou jumps as the ball is thrown up. With what Kei said about Daichi, he's always going to win this aerial battle, and does. He knocks the ball down to where Keiji's running past. Tobio reacts quickly, cutting him off and forcing him to pass to Kei. Daichi's half-step behind combined with Kei's look-away, rocket pass is enough to let Tetsurou fly at the hoop unimpeded, sinking the ball.
"Nice pass," Tetsurou says, his palm still prickling with the familiar sting of the powerful pass as he bumps fists with Kei.
"Nice jump."
"Let's get it back!" Daichi calls to his team.
Karasuno responds in kind. Ryuu dribbling the ball to their scoring end, as quick and unpredictable as Kei informed, but Koutarou's defence is solid. Ryuu passes to Tobio when he runs into the immobile roadblock that is Koutarou. Before the ball even touches his fingers Tobio's eyes swiftly sweep the court, the ball leaves his hands as soon as it gets there, too fast for anyone to react.
Asahi takes the pass – as fast as Kei's – with ease and straightens to shoot. Under the hoop, Tetsurou watches Kei hold back from defending the shot, those gold eye meticulously scrutinising Asahi's every movement. The three-pointer scores and Karasuno cheers for Asahi, Yuu jumping on his back in celebration.
Tetsurou can't help but smile. He can't imagine how hard it would be to lose a teammate to injury. It must be a relief for them to have Asahi back.
"You slacking against your old friends, beanpole?" Shouyou mutters as he passes Kei. "Figures."
Kei barely glances at him. "Just focus on keeping up with your own mark, while you still can."
"Shrimpy, we're on offence!" Tetsurou orders before Shouyou has a chance to bite back. "Let's go!"
Scowling at Kei, Shouyou makes his way down the court.
Tetsurou isn't worried about Kei. He can see through the nonchalant poker face. He can see the determination and competitive spirit shining in Kei's eyes, even if no one else can. Shooting guards play a slow game, a strategic game. Like chess. One move after the other, learning about your opponent and knowing how they're going to attack to stop it. It's why Kei plays it so well.
The game continues on, score for score. Kei and Keiji are passing well and setting up plays, in sync with each other as if they've been playing together for years. Koutarou and Tetsurou react to their plays, relying on them without a second thought. Their gameplay has much to fault but it's certainly on the right track. The only problem is Shouyou, who is only getting increasingly frustrated as Yuu runs circles around him, stealing the ball as Keiji attempts to give Shouyou a scoring morale boost. The kid is beside himself, his annoyance only making his play worse.
After Kei sinks a three-pointer, Tetsurou nudges Koutarou subtly, pretending to straighten his wristband. Their gazes meet and Tetsurou tilts his head in Shouyou's direction, Koutarou nods knowingly.
Yuu has the ball, dribbling down the court, moving around Shouyou like he's standing still. Suddenly the ball is knocked straight out of Yuu's hands and Koutarou has it.
"Shou!" Koutarou calls and he reacts instinctively, taking the pass from Koutarou and taking advantage of Yuu's surprise. Shouyou moves quickly, almost impossibly agile as he dances around the other players and scores.
"Good work kid!" Tetsurou says, high-fiving Shouyou and joining in his hooting celebration with Koutarou.
This is what they're here for, what they're playing for. Teamwork. To finally combine their individual skills into an unstoppable force. They'll play over and over until they connect, until they're all working together. It's not going to be easy.
The half-game finishes with Karasuno leading by a few points. The Nekodani team knows that the result doesn't matter, only the gameplay. Which, in comparison to their State Championship team from last year, was fairly poor. But they'll get there. They certainly have the talent to go further than last year's team. If the talent – Shouyou and Kei – can get their heads out of their asses long enough to cooperate.
Tetsurou's barely paying attention to Keishin's post-game analysis with the team, most of the points are things Tetsurou considered himself anyway. He's watching Karasuno. They're doing the same thing, Coach Takeda giving them a similar talk. Standing separate from the team circle is Koushi and Tobio, they're huddled close together and Tobio is intently concentrated on Koushi as he speaks. The reverence in his blue eyes and the way he's leaning into Koushi is impossible to miss. When Koushi finishes speaking they're quiet, staring at each other. Koushi's smile lacks its usual brightness, and instead it's soft and affectionate.
No Tetsurou. It's too late, Tooru had said. This is what he meant.
"Tetsu?" Keishin draws his attention back.
"Okay guys, two more games and then we have our lunch break. Let's make the most of them!"
"Hey Ken," Tetsurou calls, waving his best friend over.
They just finished their game against Shinzen and Nekodani's second string team just finished their game against Ubagawa's second string. All the teams are taking an hour lunch break.
Reluctantly Kenma deviates from his course towards his boyfriend and trudges over to Tetsurou. His best friend doesn't say anything, simply raises a dark eyebrow as he stops before Tetsurou.
"Is Shouyou okay? He's been acting weird lately, much more volatile than usual."
Kenma fidgets, avoiding his gaze. "I don't know of any specific reason that he would be acting weird... lately."
Tetsurou narrows his eyes. "But you do know something?"
"It's… It's personal."
"Are you guys fighting? You seemed fine on the bus… Did he do something?"
Kenma rolls his eyes. "No, Kuro. It's personal to him, not something I can tell you about and not for me to say."
"Okay. I understand," Tetsurou says, nodding as he gazes up to where Shouyou and Koutarou are bouncing out of the gym to go eat. "Can you please talk to him for me? Find out if he's okay and talk to him about the games. He doesn't need to be that frustrated, it's still early in forming the team and only the first day of training camp. We all have a lot of work to do."
"I would have asked him anyway," he mumbles with annoyance.
"Thanks, Ken. I'm just concerned about him, it's good to know he has you. Now, go work your boyfriend magic and make the kid happy again," Tetsurou says, his grin falling quickly as he realises how the words sound. "No, wait. That sounds bad. No boyfriend magic. You're banned from using boyfriend magic."
Kenma sighs, a hint of a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. "I guess I'll have to go break the bad news to Shouyou that I'm banned from giving him a blowjob tonight."
Tetsurou gasps dramatically. "Kenma Kozume! That is not something to joke about, get your ass back here young man!"
Kenma waves a hand dismissively as he walks away and out of the gym to find Shouyou. Tetsurou grins after his best friend. Shouyou's a good kid who brings light into the hermit life Kenma has created for himself and, most importantly, he makes Kenma happy. Even if Kenma's affections are difficult to discern to most, Tetsurou can see them bright as day.
The gym's mostly cleared out by now, Tetsurou lagging behind, lost in his own thoughts about the team and things they need to improve. The list is long. Teamwork being number one; there are still many kinks in the chain that need to be straightened out.
Tetsurou's changing out of his basketball shoes into sneakers at the door when movement at the corner of his eye catches his attention. Pushed up against the wall of the gym is Koushi, smiling giddily up at Tobio, who is leaning against him bodily. Tetsurou glances around the gym and realises they're the last people there and they think they're alone. Partly concealed by the door, Tetsurou watches them, curiosity keeping him in place.
"You played wonderfully this morning," Koushi remarks, smiling an encouraging smile that could stop a person from committing any crime.
"Thanks to you," Tobio replies, his voice lower and less harsh than it is when ordering his team around in the game.
Leaning his head back against the wall, Koushi tilts his chin up, his warm brown eyes flickering to Tobio's mouth. He concedes to Koushi's silent request eagerly, leaning down to press their lips together. Tobio's movements are hurried with inexperience but Koushi's hand comes up to thread through his hair and he guides Tobio into a softer kiss.
Is that the way Koushi would silently ask Kei for a kiss? Is that the way he would guide Kei to kiss him?
Waking up to himself and realising he's observing a private moment, Tetsurou walks out of the gym.
Even if he hadn't actually asked Kei the question like he'd meant to – were you and him, together? – Tetsurou knows the answer. It's clear from the way Kei speaks of Koushi; it's clear from the way they speak to each other; it's clear from the way Koushi touched him. People don't touch others like that unless they know each other intimately. Especially Kei.
Tetsurou rakes his fingers through his hair. It's none of my business anyway, Kei's free to do as he likes, he reminds himself sternly.
When he enters the cafeteria, the teams are mostly already set at tables, discussing the games they've already played or the rest of the week ahead of them. Tetsurou makes his way over to the food and feels his stomach rumble in anticipation as he contemplates the different types of sandwiches filled with hearty meats and fresh vegetables. After making a selection of chicken salad on wholemeal bread, with a side of fruit salad and a bottle of water, Tetsurou gazes about the room.
Keiji and Koutarou are huddled together at the table with the rest of Nekodani, their fingers laced together and Keiji smiling that small, gentle smile reserved for Koutarou alone. Shouyou's rambling away, a cheerful light in Kenma's eyes as he listens quietly, Tadashi and Hitoka across from them sitting close together. Kei's sitting with Karasuno, talking with Ryuu and Yuu, being praised on his muscle mass and questioned about who actually got him to eat decently.
Tetsurou doesn't want to intrude on any of his friends. He knew it would be like this, as it has been over the last few weeks. He doesn't begrudge his friends their happiness, they deserve it and Tetsurou would do anything to keep them that way. Kei was the company he was planning on relying on but he doesn't want to interrupt his time catching up with his friends.
Making his way out of the cafeteria, Tetsurou sits himself on the hill just outside the gyms. It's a warm day in fall, the sun shining down and heating his skin pleasantly. The lush green grass is thick and comfortable after playing a few high energy games.
He's not usually one for solitude but he doesn't particularly feel like talking with anyone at the moment. He has so much to consider about the team, about how to get them where they need to go, about how to get them ready for the State Championship and then Nationals. Tetsurou doesn't believe in impossibility, even if it feels like the start of a steep uphill climb at the moment, he knows the hill will level out and that the initial push is always the most difficult.
Up is the only way they can go. He won't allow anything else. He knows what they could be capable of, they just need to work for it.
"Is this seat taken, Tetsu?"
A pleasant voice draws Tetsurou from his ruminations and he glances up to see Koushi smiling down at him, the afternoon sun haloing his head of soft hair. Reflexively he returns the smile.
"Not at all, go ahead," Tetsurou says, gesturing at the spot beside him with his fork. Having finished his sandwich he spears a piece of watermelon from his fruit salad and relishes the sweetness as he chews the pink fruit. "Karasuno's doing even better than I expected. It's great to be able to practice against you guys."
Koushi nods, leaning back on his hands casually. "With Asahi still unsteady, it's the best we can hope for. Tobio's been a godsend; we certainly wouldn't play as well as we do without him."
"You and him…" Tetsurou trails off and Koushi glances up to meet his questioning gaze.
"Yeah, me and him. You saw us in the gym didn't you?"
"Er, yeah, sorry."
"No, it's okay," Koushi says, smiling reassuringly. "If it were up to me we'd be touching and kissing as much as we like in public. But I know it makes Tobio uncomfortable. He's usually more careful, but he was happy about the way Karasuno's playing, excited that he's becoming so in sync with the team."
Tetsurou pushes his fork through his fruit salad. "Somehow I think that has more to do with you. You're guiding him, helping him to understand the team, helping him understand the way they play and what they need to play at their best," he says and pauses, but Koushi doesn't comment. "You were Karasuno's point guard... Weren't you annoyed he took your place on the team?"
"Yes," Koushi answers without hesitation. "And I worked hard to get that position back. I still do and will never stop fighting for it. But the best team is on court and that's all that matters."
"And yet you like him? Romantically."
Koushi snorts a laugh. "They're separate things. I help Tobio with the team because that's the best thing for the team. I like Tobio because of who he is. I like how passionate his is, I like how despite appearances he genuinely cares about people but doesn't know how to act on that and I like how cute he is when he's confused."
"It just seems to've happened fairly quickly. I mean, it's only been, what, two months?"
Silence follows the question, making Tetsurou glance up at Koushi, who's watching him with narrowed eyes. For someone so seemingly kind and gentle Tetsurou feels nervous under that scrutinising gaze, like he's on display and wide open for Koushi to see everything. A smile curls the corner of Koushi's mouth but it doesn't reach his eyes, it's unnerving.
"Do you mean because of Tooru or because of Kei?"
More silence stretches between them as Tetsurou's eyes widen with surprise. Really, in knowing Keiji as long as he has and as well as he does, Tetsurou shouldn't be so thrown by this borderline mind reading. It's creepier when you don't know the person.
Tetsurou opens his mouth to respond but no words come out so he closes it again.
"Tobio's told me about Tooru," Koushi explains, understanding Tetsurou's confusion. "He didn't say that Tooru likes him, of course, Tobio's not aware of people enough to notice those things. But I could tell, the way he spoke about him and the things Tooru would do for him, the way he'd treat him. And maybe Tobio felt the same way, without realising. I didn't know until we were already together and even if I did, it wouldn't have affected the way I felt… The way I feel.
"And Kei…" Koushi trails off, his morose smile turning into a playful grin. "We were never together, if that's what you're worried about."
Frowning, Tetsurou asks, "Why would I be worried about that?"
Koushi's eyes are narrowed on him again, but there's an amused glint in his eyes, like he knows something Tetsurou doesn't.
"I'm not exactly Kei's type," Koushi continues, ignoring Tetsurou's question. The inflection on his words suggesting meaning Tetsurou doesn't comprehend. Something secretive. "But we were close. Neither of us had met anyone who liked boys before. Well, aside from Asahi. At first Kei and I would just talk about it, about being gay and what it meant and how we felt. It was nice to have someone to confide in. Then it turned into wondering, 'what would it feel like to kiss a boy?' and then we answered that question together."
Tetsurou can see it. Kei pressing Koushi against the wall, gazing down at him with those intense golden eyes and leaning in to kiss him, opening his mouth and licking experimentally at Koushi's lips. Tetsurou feels a nerve in his jaw twitch and puts his empty fruit salad bowl down.
"If you were physical with each other and cared about each other as much as Kei's told me, then why weren't you together?"
Koushi laughs, tilting his head to catch Tetsurou's gaze. "There is a big difference in kissing someone for the sake of kissing them and kissing someone because you really want them, because you can't live without kissing them. You can feel it, in the touch, in the warmth... But Kei and I were friends first and never let anything get in the way of that."
Tetsurou nods, uncapping his water bottle to have a much needed drink. "So you were kissing friends?"
"Oh, we did a lot more than kiss."
A sharp inhale causes Tetsurou to choke on the water and forces him to spray water out onto the grass. Koushi's hand is on his back soothingly as he coughs and attempts to regain control over his breathing.
"Wh-what?" Tetsurou gasps, his throat tight with the distress of choking.
Koushi's grins deviously. "No penetration or anything. Just lots of making out and frottage and mutual masturbation and blowjobs. And, wow, Kei's incredible with his mouth," he adds, winking.
"Well, shit, I really didn't need to know that," Tetsurou mumbles, feeling something twist in his stomach and clearing his throat. "You're as bad as Kou."
"Must be in the name."
Some of the teams are leaving the cafeteria, their boisterous conversation pulling Koushi and Tetsurou's attention away. Ryuu and Yuu are shoving Kei playfully and Kei is actually smirking back at them, probably calling them idiots to rile them up.
"You seem to have gotten close quickly, you and Kei," Koushi comments quietly, his brown eyes watching Kei. "It took me the better part of a year to get as close to him as you have in two months. Granted, he was a little lost back then. But he never really stopped being guarded and closed off to people. But not you, he let you in."
Tetsurou shrugs, bringing his knees up and resting his elbows on them. "It took a while, but he did. He told me about what happened and I know him now, I know him well. I still feel like he's keeping things from me… But he's allowed to."
Koushi hums. "You're really good friends."
"Yeah, I think this year would be pretty lonely and shitty without Kei," Tetsurou says, smiling. "He's funny and fun and I love hanging out with him. He deserves to be happier and more confident, he's awesome and I just can't understand why he thinks so little of himself." He glances over to find Koushi watching him. "What?"
A smile stretches Koushi's mouth. "That's more like it… You don't seem like yourself, Tetsu. Not that I know you, just from what Kei's told me. He said that you smile a lot and I think that's the first time you've smiled since I sat down."
"I'm just focussed on the team and thinking about the week ahead."
Koushi purses his lips. "If you say so. I know you don't know me either, but I'm a good listener if you need to talk to someone. Or Kei, you know, he cares about you a lot Tetsu. He could even help you relieve some stress… If you know what I mean."
The way Koushi bites his lip and waggles his eyebrows makes it all too clear what he means. Tetsurou's eyes flicker to where Kei is standing at the bottom of the hill, now watching them curiously. Tetsurou ducks his head quickly, warmth creeping up his chest and neck, feeling oddly vulnerable as his abdominal muscles tighten.
He forces a laugh which only comes out sounding awkward. "Kei and I aren't like that, he's my friend."
There is a pause before Koushi mutters, "Interesting you didn't bring up being straight." The movement of him standing as he speaks makes it so Tetsurou can't hear him.
"What?"
"Nothing," Koushi says, shaking his head but his smile says otherwise. "Good luck with the rest of your games for the day. I'm looking forward to the week. Thanks again for the invite, even if you didn't do it for completely selfless reasons."
His brown eyes glance down to Kei meaningfully as he says it and Tetsurou frowns.
"No, I extended the invite to train against strong teams. It's for the Nekodani team."
Koushi hums, smiling smugly and waving. "See you later, Tetsu."
Tetsurou watches him walk down the hill, confused about what just happened, confused about their conversation. Koushi pats Kei on the arm as he passes but Kei catches his wrist, asking something with a furrowed brow. Even without hearing their words Tetsurou can see Koushi reassuring Kei and offering a kind smile before walking away. Kei watches after him, fist clenching and unclenching, before he turns to approach Tetsurou.
Seeing others heading back into the gym Tetsurou collects his lunch tray and decides to go back to the cafeteria. He absolutely cannot have a conversation with Kei right now, there are too many images swimming around his head. Kei on his knees, his jaw dropped open, his blond hair threaded through clenched fingers—
"Hey, have a nice chat with Koushi?" Kei asks, catching up with Tetsurou as he's coming back out of the cafeteria and making him stop at the door.
"Yep."
"What… What did he say?"
Tetsurou shakes his head, smiling tightly. "We were just talking about the game and our teams."
Kei clicks his tongue. "Usually you're a better liar than that."
"Okay, fine," he heaves a sigh. "We were talking about you and how much of a broody dork you were in your first two years of high school. I maintain that you're still a dork, the dino obsession is proof of that."
That worried line forms between Kei's eyebrows and his mouth drops open to speak but no words come out. Not that it matters anymore, Tetsurou's gaze is caught on Kei's lips as he closes his mouth again, pressing them together. His lips are chapped and pink from where he bites them, deep in thought or nervously. All Tetsurou can think about is seeing them red and swollen and stretched.
"Tetsu?"
"Yeah? Sorry, what?"
"I asked you if you knew what Shouyou's problem is," Kei says slowly, licking his lips.
"Oh, uh, Kenma's on the case. Don't take what the kid says too personally Tsukki, I think he's going through some stuff," Tetsurou says, grinning and casually slinging his arm around Kei's shoulders. It's such a natural motion to him now. "C'mon Tsukki, we have more ball to play. No slacking off now."
Tetsurou needs a distraction from all of this...
He needs basketball. He needs to focus on dribbling, jumping, guarding, shooting. It's calming and simple. Basketball is logical and physical. Basketball isn't confusing.
"What did you say to him?"
Koushi glances up from where he's stacking basketballs in a rack to where Kei's leaning casually against the doorframe of the equipment storage room. The lightbulb in there is only dim but Kei can see the smile curl Koushi's mouth immediately. He might seem sweet and gentle and humble but appearances are deceiving; Koushi is one of the most cunning people Kei has ever met. It's one of many things Kei likes about him.
Tadashi is in there also, glancing nervously between them. Tadashi knows about Tetsurou, knows how Kei feels about him and Kei trusts his best friend with anything Koushi might say. They're both his closest friends. But their views on the 'Tetsurou issue' differ greatly.
While Tadashi is concerned about it, Koushi is supportive of the idea of a relationship between Kei and Tetsurou – apparently actively so. Kei knows Koushi well enough to know he's up to something.
After a long afternoon of training and dinner and more training in the evening, they're the last ones in the gym to clean up after the day's practice games. It's late, the night sky dark and full of twinkling stars away from the light pollution of the city.
"Tetsu likes you, you know."
"He doesn't," Kei responds without pause.
"Oh but he does, he just doesn't know it yet. Trust me, Kei," Koushi says, a small sincere smile dimpling his cheeks. "Tetsu likes you and it's only a matter of time before he realises it."
"I don't think you should give Tsukki false hope like this," Tadashi interrupts, his voice small and nervous. "I've known Tetsurou for two years and he's never shown interest in boys before, even though he has two gay best friends. I just really don't think he'll ever… Sorry Tsukki."
"But Kei isn't just any boy, Kei's special and Tetsu knows that, he all but said it. I understand that you're worried Tadashi, I am too. I don't want to see Kei get hurt. That's why I wouldn't be saying this if I wasn't certain. It must be difficult for Tetsu… You remember what it was like realising that you liked boys, Kei."
Kei swallows hard, remembering all too well. The denial, the refusal to even consider it, the hurt when he finally accepted that he was different. Weird. Gay.
"He goes on dates and makes out with girls all the time," Tadashi counters.
"That's called over compensating. Also, bisexuality."
"What did you talk about with him?" Kei asks again.
"Tetsu saw me kissing Tobio and was asking about it," Koushi answers, shrugging as he sets back to work storing away the basketballs. "And he asked about the manner of our previous relationship."
"And you said…?"
"I said that you have amazing cocksucking skills," Koushi grins back at him.
Tadashi grimaces. "I really didn't need to know that."
"That's exactly what Tetsu said," Koushi chuckles.
"Exactly, meaning he doesn't like me," Kei says.
There is a mischievous glint in Koushi's eyes when he glances up at Kei. "Except that when Tetsu said it he was blushing. Also, the reason he gave for not 'relieving some stress' with you was because you're friends, not because he's straight."
Kei feels the flame of hope, which he can't snuff out no matter how hard he tries, flare in his chest. It warms him. He hates it. It only offers disappointment and hurt. But he can't let it go, doesn't want to. Like the pathetic masochist he is, Kei clings to it.
"Stop flirting with him on my behalf" Kei sighs, crossing his arms over his chest. "Don't you have your own toy boy to relieve your sexual frustration?"
Koushi tilts his head. "You know it's not like that, Kei."
Kei only nods, because he does know, in mushy romantic detail, how much Koushi adores Tobio. It makes Kei cringe, he spent two years in middle school playing with Tobio and will never understand what Koushi sees in that awkward basketball dork. But then Kei's not exactly in a position to judge with his infatuation with his own basketball dork.
Tetsu's not mine, Kei reminds himself. And never will be.
The room falls silent as they finish of their cleaning duties. Kei simply watches his friend's clean, not offering help since they're almost done, and since they'd both likely have to fix the way he did it anyway. Kei does he best not to think about Tetsurou, which is always easier said than done.
"We should go back to the rooms, it's past curfew," Tadashi says, moving to the door.
"That's your fault for being so fussy about cleaning."
"Sorry, Tsukki!"
Kei waves him away. "I'll be right after you."
With a nod Tadashi leaves. It takes Koushi a few more minutes to finish and lock up the equipment storage room. Koushi being the obvious choice to be entrusted with the task by Coach Takeda.
"Kids at school still being assholes?" Koushi asks.
Kei grunts as they make their way back to the main building of the lodge. "There will always be asshole kids."
"I hear you're the one standing up to them this time."
"Yeah, well, someone has to. And I learned from the best."
Koushi grins. "Ryuu always was a bad influence on you. Just tell me that you didn't make anyone cry or piss themselves like he did."
"You know I'm more subtle than that," Kei says and Koushi nods his agreement. "How did you find out I was standing up to them?"
"Tadashi. He's very talkative once you get him started."
Kei clicks his tongue. "Of course. Is there anyone you can't squeeze for information?"
"You."
"And thank fuck for that," Kei says, smirking.
It's strange being back with Koushi. Like no time has passed at all, like he's still at Karasuno and never left. Koushi's easy to be around and easy to talk to. Always has been. Since being without Tadashi after elementary school, Kei's been a loner. Until he met Koushi. Koushi was the one that presented the possibility that not everyone in the world is an idiotic, self-serving asshole.
"You know, I'm not trying to force you into anything, right? I mean, I may be trying to change your mind and persuade you, but only because I have a good feeling about this. Your crush on Daichi was spectacularly misguided and intense considering your ability to talk yourself out of anything," Koushi says, his brow furrowed in thought as he scratches his nose. "But this… I've never seen you like this Kei. You watch him. And the way you move around him, the way you position yourself next to him…"
"And here I thought you promised never to bring up the Daichi thing…" Kei comments, his voice quiet as he attempts to ignore the implication of what Koushi's saying.
"And I know you think it's just you, but it isn't," Koushi continues as if Kei hadn't spoken. "Tetsu always goes to you, between games, during breaks, after scoring. His arm is around your shoulders and he pulling you in close. And the way he looks at you, Kei."
Kei's jaw clenches and he slows to a stop outside the main building, staring at the small lamps along the footpath. Noticing he's no longer following along, Koushi stops too.
"Don't."
Koushi heaves a sigh. "Listen. I know you and I know exactly how you're trying to deal with this poetic notion of unrequited love. I know you're trying to ignore it. I know you're shoving down everything and anything you feel about him, trying to keep yourself in check around him, using every ounce of willpower to not simply reach out and touch him. Because that's what you want. I see it in the twitch of your fingers and hear it in the way you have to stop anytime you're describing something he did.
"You have self-control and discipline that most people lack. Just give Tetsu time. He's not ready but he's clearly working through it. Like I said, you know exactly what he's going through. Be there for him, be patient. It's always darkest before the dawn."
As Kei listens he stares down at where his fingers a laced together, wishing he could believe Koushi, wishing that he could believe that things will get better and that one day Tetsurou will finally see him. Wishing that these were Tetsurou's fingers woven through his own.
"It's not actually, even before the sun starts to rise it lights the sky because of the way the light moves around the surface of the earth."
Koushi narrows his eyes on Kei, a smirk twitching at his lips. "You know what I mean, smartass."
"I'm fine," Kei says.
"I didn't believe that the first time you said it to me and I'm certainly not going to now."
"I'll be fine."
"Hm, you actually seem to believe that one, at least a little. I'll take it."
A grins brightens Koushi's face and he turns to make his way into the building. Rolling his eyes but unable to control the smile stretching his lips, Kei follows after him. Koushi rambles about something cute Tobio did on the way up the stairs to their rooms and Kei tries really hard not to cringe. Of course he does and of course Koushi notices, laughing like that was his intention. It probably was.
It's strange how well Koushi knows him. Kei doesn't remember when he let him in, he doesn't remember opening up to him. It must have been smooth and comfortable because all of the sudden Koushi was there, friendly and kind and not putting up with Kei's bullshit or running away from it. Even playing along with it. Not as well as Tetsurou does though, not feeding and playing off it as well as Tetsurou does. But then Kei doubts anyone will ever understand him the way Tetsurou does. It was immediate with him, without transition or time, it just happened.
"I'm so glad we're all here, it's really good to see you Kei," Koushi says as they're about to part ways on Nekodani's level. The other teams occupying the level above. "We all miss you. I miss you."
He reaches up, wrapping his arms around Kei's neck the way he did this morning. Kei leans into it, much more relaxed now that they're alone, pulling Koushi into his body. There will never be words enough to express how grateful he is for Koushi, for everything he's done for Kei. Koushi was his saviour, time after time, just like Akiteru.
Kei hums an agreement, knowing Koushi would never expect words, knowing that the sound means as much as a verbal response.
"And I have all week to torment you. So you should probably go get some rest," Koushi says, grinning deviously as he pulls back, making his way up the stairs. "Sleep well, Kei."
"Night."
Kei watches Koushi go a moment before turning on his heel and making his way to the Nekodani room. He doesn't make it far though, coming to a halt as he sees Tetsurou watching him. The expression on his face is dark; he looks annoyed, which is not something he's used to seeing Tetsurou look.
"Hey," Kei says cautiously. "Sorry I'm late, I was just—"
"I need to talk to you," Tetsurou says, using that tone reserved for giving commands on the court. The tone that leaves no room to questioning.
"Sure…" Kei responds, frowning.
Without another word Tetsurou walks away and Kei follows hesitantly. He certainly doesn't recall doing anything wrong, and Tetsurou seemed fine with him all day. They played basketball and ate meals and played more basketball. Had he not been playing well enough? If not, why hadn't Tetsurou called him out on it sooner?
Tetsurou leads Kei into the bathroom and suddenly he feels nervous as Tetsurou checks the bathroom stalls.
"You're being weird," Kei comments, lacing his fingers together and biting at his lip.
"Yeah, well, wouldn't want anyone to hear."
"This is a bathroom, anyone could walk in at any moment."
Tetsurou shakes his head. "The team's already asleep," he glances about the room, avoiding Kei's gaze. "Where were you?"
"Didn't realise you were such a stickler for rules. I was just helping Koushi and Tadashi close up the second gym. Sorry I didn't make it in time for curfew, Mr. Officer."
"Tadashi was back fifteen minutes ago."
Kei narrows his eyes, thoroughly confused at where Tetsurou is going with this. "And…?"
Huffing, Tetsurou shakes his head, like he thinks Kei's acting dumb. Tetsurou's hair is messier than usual, which means he's been pushing his fingers through it, and he looks weary, wearier than the simple fatigue of a day of training, and frustrated. He's wearing a long sleeved shirt but the sleeves are shoved up his arms even though it's a cold night.
Tetsurou, ever cool, calm and collected Tetsurou Kuroo, looks flustered and aggravated. It's… disconcerting.
"Koushi told me, about what you used to do together, about the friends with benefits arrangement you had together. But you can't do that anymore Kei because he's with Tobio. I'm assuming you know that though, with how close you two are. Maybe you just don't care. Or maybe you're simply still pining after him. Either way you can't. And I won't allow it. Not while you're here. We're here to play basketball, not… blow other team's players in storage rooms after curfew."
The words flow rapidly out of Tetsurou's mouth, leaving no time for Kei to respond even if he was capable. He's far too stunned for that though. Tetsurou is accusing him of… blowing Koushi while Koushi's in a relationship with Tobio? It's possibly the most absurd and amusing thing Kei's ever heard, and yet he's flooded with anger.
Kei carefully keeps his expression nonchalant, raising a single, delicate eyebrow. "You think fifteen minutes is enough for a decent blowjob? What second rate skank's been blowing you?"
Tetsurou looks even more surprised than Kei.
"Tsukki… you can't," he pleads, his eyes large and sad.
Kei clenches his teeth together. "Then it's a good thing I'm not. First of all, I would never do that to someone, even someone I don't like, like Tobio. Second, Koushi and I are just friends and we will never be more than that; I don't want more, he doesn't want more and we're both fine with that. Third, what happened between me and Koushi in the past has nothing to do with you and he shouldn't have told you."
The silence that falls between them is deafening and heavy. It clings to Kei's skin and freezes him in place, staring into Tetsurou's eyes, both of them hurt and confused for vastly differing reasons. Tetsurou doubles over, like he's been punched in the stomach and then squats, fingertips on the cool tiles floor to steady himself.
"Jesus, Tsukki, I…" Tetsurou's voice catches, words getting stuck in his throat. Then he gazes up, meeting Kei's gaze. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I don't know why I… Fuck. My dad cheated on my mom once and I just, I have a thing about it and I was worried about you getting hurt and," he rambles, digging his fingers into his dark hair and shaking his head. "I'm really sorry, Tsukki."
Kei blinks down at him. Tetsurou looks small and he feels the need to ask 'what's wrong?' He's not even mad anymore because all he wants to do is hold Tetsurou.
"I get it," Kei says, voice soft. "It's fine."
"It's not fine," Tetsurou says firmly, standing quickly and closing the distance between them. Kei's almost pushed back into the door with the force of Tetsurou's hug.
"Are you… Are you okay?" Kei asks, not sure he wants to know the answer. If yes, does that mean he isn't struggling with his sexuality as Koushi believes? But if no… Kei hates the idea of Tetsurou not being okay.
"Yeah, it happened a few years ago but my mom was almost destroyed by it. She forgave my dad and they're okay now but I can never forget it. I just remember hearing her crying and crying and—It broke her. But God, I know you would never," his voice quiet but firm as his fingers clutch at the back of Kei's jacket. "You would never do something like that. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions and trusted you. I do trust you. I was just worried about you… I'm really sorry, Tsukki."
Kei nods, swallowing thickly. "I know."
Tetsurou sighs, resting his chin on Kei's shoulder. "Today was fuckin' frustrating with the fact that we lost every game. I think I'm just a little stressed. But I do have some ideas on how to fix things for tomorrow; me and Kou have been brainstorming."
He pulls back, hand still on Kei's shoulder and lopsided grin in place, even if it looks more tired than usual he looks more like himself. Kei tries not to be disappointed by Tetsurou's explanation, he really does.
"Sounds dangerous," Kei comments.
Tetsurou snorts a laugh. "Yeah, don't worry, Keiji helped. Shrimpy got over his annoyed thing late this afternoon, so hopefully tomorrow will be better. I am really sorry though, Tsukki. I shouldn't take it out on you. Being a mess right now because of captain duties and trying to get this team State Championship ready is not an excuse for being an asshole. You especially don't deserve it."
Kei swallows, moving out from under Tetsurou's hand and looking away. For a moment there he thought Tetsurou was jealous, or protective or something. This makes sense though. Kei is more comfortable with Koushi than he is with anyone else, with their past intimacy and Tetsurou's experience with his parents, it's understandable that he made assumptions.
And of course Tetsurou's stressed about the team. The former Nationals attending Nekodani basketball team is playing like they're not even going to make it to the State Championship. It's his job, his responsibility as captain, to make sure they play at their best. That's a lot of weight on his shoulders and Tetsurou always makes himself bear it alone.
"Well, at least you admit it," Kei says, his voice steady despite how sick he feels. "If I accept your apology can we go to sleep?"
A grin brightens Tetsurou's handsome face and Kei's heart stutters.
"Only if you accept my apology," Tetsurou warns playfully.
"Then it's accepted. Sleep time," Kei huffs.
Kei curls up into a ball as tightly as he can when he finally slips into his sleeping bag and wilfully ignores the tightness in his chest.