Wheeeeeeeeew! Chapter 15 at last! Canna get a whoop whoop? No? Yes? Maybe?

1) I don't nor will I ever own PJatO or McDonald's

2) This is probably one of if not my favorite chapter... don't know why, it's just grown on me

3) To recap: this chapter is not my tumor (even if I had one this chapter wouldn't be it). What are you doing looking at this? Read the story!

Chapter 15:

I guessed that since I was pretty much totally screwed from here on out I might as well have a little fun, "Nice weather we're having, eh?" They all tensed up but didn't respond. "Ah, so you guys are the silent type? That's cool, I'm a big talker myself so you guys can just listen." They looked at each other like, what is this guy on? I walked over to the nearest officer to me who looked kind of like the new guy I inspected his uniform until I found what I was looking for, his badge. It read: California Police Department. I smiled warmly at him and proceeded to inspect his gun, "Is this standard issue in California? Seems like the cops in New York are doing much better budget wise, seriously this gun is crap." I smiled a little more genuinely. "Sir, can I borrow that?" I gestured with my raised hands to his gun. He backed up and the guy next to him jabbed his gun in the back of my head.

"I suggest you shut up and quit clowning around." He spoke in a low your-pushing-it-kid tone.

I turned to face him and put on a look of mock hurt, "I'm shocked, do you treat all your visitors like this?"

"Son, you're a wanted criminal."

I looked at him like he was crazy, "You are definitely not my dad. Trust me; I just met him a couple hours back."

My "Dad" was a tall man with a belly that bulged out a little over his waist. He had a white stubbly beard and a waning mop of thin white hair that stuck out from beneath his police officer's hat. I noticed that his free hand was touching his tazer on his belt. Not good… I saw out of the corner of my eye the newbie cop whisper to his buddy, "This kid's on crack for sure!"

I whipped around, "Excuse me sir, what was that?"

Newbie Cop looked like a deer in headlights, "Uh... I-,"

"If you don't tell me I'm going to have to assume that you were talking about my mother. When people talk trash about my mom things get messy." He looked really scared and even though he was holding his gun out with both hands it still shook violently. I walked towards him in a menacing manner as I waited patiently for my "Dear Old Dad" to attempt to taze me. Finally, I felt "Daddy" charge at me from behind, I quickly spun around and grabbed his tazer hand twisting it so that the tazer dropped to the ground. I gave him a knee in the gut and grabbed the gun out of his hand like I'd done this plenty of times before. I tilted my head to the side cockily, "Well officers, I believe it just got real."

Newbie Cop's eyes were as big as tires as he said in a small un-cop-like voice, "Indeed."

The cop that had stopped me from getting my cheeseburger whispered to the guy next to him, "Johnson, radio HQ we're going to need backup, lots of backup."

I swaggered over to him, pointed my gun at his forehead, and whispered in his ear, "Just let me get my freaking cheeseburger, we can all go home, and forget any of this ever happened. Is that cool with you officer?" He nodded his head violently. "Good, I hate these mortal weapons," I tossed the gun over my shoulder, with a satisfying crunch it burst into a million pieces on the pavement. The shell shocked cops watched as I strolled carelessly to the front door. I had to push my way through a couple of officers who were too stunned by the recent events to even move. Once inside I ordered, got my food (the cashier didn't make me pay because she thought I might kill her or something… being a wanted criminal has its perks), and pulled open the front door to find the police officers exactly where I had left them. I waved to them like they were old friends of mine as I took my time walking across the parking lot, "See you guys later."

I walked down the slope and out of the sight of the police officers I traveled downward until I reached the highway from there I could spot at least five cop cars hurtling towards the McDonald's. I quickly scampered across the highway and dove into some foliage to watch the scene unfurl. I figured I had about five minutes before they came looking for me in the woods. I watched as the reinforcement officers joined the originals. An ambulance also appeared to take "Dad" off to the hospital. I doubted that he would have any major injuries but that didn't stop me from still feeling a little bit guilty for hurting him. My next move should be to try to fake the cops out, you know; take them on a wild goose chase. I took off from my hiding place and bolted across the highway passing directly in front of an oncoming cop car. That should get his attention, I thought as the officer swerved to miss me out of pure reflex. This reflex caused a "ten car pileup on turn three". All the cops tried to slam on their breaks but all their efforts were in vain. They all slammed into the first officer's car as I laughed hysterically from the side of the road. Big mistake; three burly cops barreled down the hill towards me with their hands on their guns ready to whip them out and pump a few rounds into me.

What I did next was what all Legendary World-Saving Demigod Heroes would've done: I turned around and ran like my pants were on fire. My mind switched over to Auto-Pilot and let my legs take me wherever they felt was the safest (which was pretty much anywhere without big burly pistol packing coppers). A police car crashed through the fence of the yard I had somehow gotten into without even knowing it. I pushed over lawn ornaments and toppled flowers in my mad dash to get the heck out of the way of the accelerating cop car. I leaped over the short, white picket fence and stumbled as I landed on the hard pavement, but quickly regained my balance and took off again. The car swerved and busted through the fence leaving skid marks on both the yard and the road. I could hear the engine roaring behind me as the cop smashed the accelerator to the floor. I said a silent prayer to the god of Crazed Police Officers and then silently, I hoped that there was such a thing. I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth, bracing myself for the sickening crunch and then eventually, my death. Well death is a bit dramatic, I'd probably actually be briefly hospitalized then imprisoned for most of my life. Given the choice I think I'd go with what really happen next as opposed to death or jail.

And the plot thickens! Sorry, just wanted to say that. Anyways I've noticed that a lot of writers have been giving their readers cookies, so just to show everyone in the world that KeeponReadin's readers are the best in the universe I'm not going to give you cookies. Kidding! Here they are (did you see the looks on your faces? Priceless! XD): (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) There you go! A dozen Mother's Day cookies for you to share with everyone in the world! Review, please (for more cookies)!